The story has been beta'd by Ennui Enigma. Thank you so much! *Bows.*
Of Boats and Bathtub Battles
The boys of Bakerstreet - a blond, burly bachelor and a bony, boyish boffin - are bawling and bickering in the bathtub, beaded bubbles billowing at the brim. They
backbite and berate, bit by bit, building a baneful battle royal.
"Bamboozling by using battleships bespeaks of babyish behaviour!" bellows the bachelor, bombarding the breakwaters of the bony brunette with bubbling billows.
"Blast it! Behave, you barbarous baddie! Bigoted blaming begets a bestial battery of bombardments. Beware!"
Bombastic bombing begins to boil in the brim-filled bathtub, bringing down the bachelor's beloved bastions. Blue battleships besets the bouncing batallion, bumping boldly into the bubble-bulwark.
"THE BUCHERY!" the boastful boffin belts out.
"Blimey, you brainy brat," the bachelor bumbles begrudgingly, balancing the battered boats.
"I beseech thee for a breather, thou bull-headed bungler," baits the boffin.
"Bite bugs, bird-brained Benedictine, the blond blurts out.
"Bah! Your bellicose behavior bespeaks of your bothersome beating."
The blond bluffs, bringing himself beneath the bubbles, then bobbing up with a blood-curdling bark, briskly bringing down the bony boffin. The bubbly brawl brings up the blustering breakers. The boffin beats off, berating at the basking bachelor.
"A bitchy blitz, you base betrayer!" the boffin bewails breathlessly, brushing back belligerent bangs.
"A big stick, buddy."
"A bittersweet blood feud..."
"Belt up, beanpole."