"Denial Isn't Just a River in Egypt"

"That androgynous skank stole my man! That bitch! That whore! That floozy! That-that-that BITCH!"

"You already said bitch," Kanji mumbled beside her.

"Only cause she is SUCH A BITCH! And Senpai...AHHH! I'll never forgive him! I was saving myself for him! My virginity, my butt virginity, my mouth virginity, I HAVEN'T EVEN KISSED ANYONE!"

"Haven't you kissed guys in your movies?"

"THAT DOES NOT COUNT!"

"Pretty sure it does," Kanji quietly retorted.

Yukiko's eye twitched. She cursed her mother's name. She cursed her, and she used every naughty word she could think for it. She cursed her loudly and proudly in the safe, private confines of her mind. Yes, adding a bar to the Amagi Inn was a great idea, the money in tips alone paid more than her last position at the family run inn. Yes, it was nice not to have to run around serving customers and being a jack-of-all-trades. As a bartender, all she had to do was listen and stir the drink that was ordered. It was even a little fun at first.

But now? Now she was beginning to regret that choice. Yukiko loved her friends, really, she did, but there's only so much of Drunk Rise that she could stand while sober. She cursed the fact that her friends would always come here due to getting drinks at reduced prices.

Come to think of it, Yukiko cursed her own name for pleading for those discounts. Damn it, Yukiko... She thought to herself.

"Aren't you pissed off, Kanji?! Doesn't it just drive you up the walls INSANE WITH ANGER!?" Rise screamed, banging her fists against the counter, tears in her eyes.

"...Eh," Kanji quietly replied, before finishing the first shot of the night. Probably not the last one, either.

"Eh?! EH?! What do you mean, EH?! You LOVED Naoto! But Naoto is dating Yu! They've been dating for months and never told us!"

"I mean...sucks they didn't feel like they could tell us, but s'cool. They're probably just shy," Kanji assumed, nodding his thanks at Yukiko for refilling his drink for him. "Thanks, Senpai."

"How are you so okay with this!? You should be outraged!" Rise demanded, standing up from her cushioned stool.

"I mean, yeah, I woulda liked to have gotten a chance with Naoto, but she likes Senpai. Can't say I blame her. He's a great guy. I know he'll treat her right."

Yukiko was silently impressed by Kanji's maturity. That's big of him. Wow, Kanji-kun, you've grown up, haven't you?

"That's so...so...SO! WAAAAH!" Rise suddenly embraced Kanji, pulling his face into the side of her neck. "You're so mature, Kanji-kun! Why can't I be more like you?!"

"R-Rise! G-get off!" Kanji struggled to pull the idol off of him, his face flushed from both the alcohol and her tight grip. His eyes met Yukiko's, and he silently pleaded for her help. Yukiko simply gave an apologetic look, before turning to greet the latest customer.

"Hey, Yukiko!" Chie greeted, sitting down on an open stool. She smiled at her friend as the black haired bartender smiled back.

Thank goodness. I'm sure some quality time talking to my best friend will help alleviate my stress! "Hey, Chie. Your usual?"

The brunette girl grinned ear to ear as she nodded. "And leave the bottle. Thanks, Yukiko. You're the best."

"You're welcom-"

"No, I mean it. You're awesome! Even before the murders! I always thought you were just...the best! And you've been awesome since we closed the case all those years ago! That's like...a lot of years you've been awesome!"

Yukiko felt her cheeks flush slightly. Chie was being so sweet, not that she was complaining. She really appreciated the compliments after the ear-aching Rise had given her, Kanji, and the other patrons of the bar. "Chie...That's really sweet of you to say. I always-"

"In fact, I always felt we had a special bond. Yeah, we have other friends, but no one and nothing is going to get between us, right? Best Friends Forever and a Half! BFFH!" she continued as Yukiko poured her drink.

Wait a second...

"Hos before Bros! Ovaries over brovaries. Uterus over duderus! Va-"

"What did you do?" She sighed, handing Chie her drink.

The shorter girl flinched, before awkwardly laughing, waving her fingers in the air to try and shoo away the accusatory glare. "W-what are you talking about? Can't your BEST FRIEND compliment you, Yukiko Amagi, my BEST FRIEND?" Yukiko's face said she was accepting none of the bullshit. Chie groaned and rubbed her fingers through her hair. "Okay, but you have to promise you won't be mad!"

"Chie-"

"Yukiko, please!"

Against her better judgement, the bartender sighed and nodded her head. "Okay... I promise I won't be mad."

"Okay. So," Chie let the last word go on, averting her eyes from the stare of her childhood friend. She looked down at her drink, admiring the liquid's slight tremble of beer and ice when she poked the glass container.

"Chie!"

"Right! Sorry! Its just... it's just hard to admit. I've been keeping a secret from you recently..." Chie's face turned flushed and she groaned as she rubbed her cheeks. "Come on! Just say it!" She scolded herself, before letting out an angry huff. "I've been... I've... I..."

Yukiko watched at her terrified friend with wide eyes. She looked so small, all of a sudden, so afraid. The bartender placed a gentle hand on the girl's shoulder. She stroked it, silently showing her support. "Hey... C-Chie, its okay. Whatever's going on, I promise, we'll work it out."

"I'm so scared you'll hate me... You'll think I'm a freak," the smaller girl whimpered. "Where do I even begin coming out with this...?"

Coming out...? Oh my gosh! No way... Yukiko bit her lower lip as Chie muttered to herself. It would make sense! I've seen the way she's looked at me, and not just me, but Rise! And Naoto! And... Oh my gosh, it makes too much sense not to be true! The bartender suddenly pulled her friend into a tight embrace over the counter separating them, silencing her. "Chie, I'm so sorry that I made you think I would hate you for this! You have absolutely no reason to feel ashamed..."

"W-what? Y-you know? And...and you're not mad?"

"No! Of course not!"

"...Seriously?" Chie blinked blankly as Yukiko released her from the hug. The two stared at one another, gentle eyes meeting utterly shocked ones.

"Of course not! Your sexual orientation is your own business. I don't care who you love, as long as you're happy!"

"What?!"

"Amagi's isn't that kind of bar, but we're also not the kind of bar to reject people just for their sexual orientation! Oh! I know! If you want, we could try doing a weekly event! Like, like a Gay Tuesday or something! I bet Kanji would be willing to offer some help, and-" Yukiko was suddenly interrupted by Chie's palms slapping into the counter, creating an echoing clap.

It was soon followed by an even louder cry of, "Yukiko!"

"Huh?" The bartender blinked, staring at her gay friend with confusion. "Yes, Chie?"

The tomboy didn't know where to start at first, merely blathering sentence fragments as her cheeks burned. "I'm not... I don't... I like boys!"

"Just cause you like boys doesn't mean you can't like girls, Chie. You don't need to pick a team! You can have the best of both worlds," her friend explained. "I mean, look at Kanji-"

"I've been sleeping with Yosuke... Secretly sleeping with him."

Oh. "O-oh..." Oooh... "...Huh?" Yukiko's brain broke for a moment and needed a second to reboot. She stared as her red cheeked friend downed a shot of alcohol. "You and Yosuke? You guys had..."

"Y-yeah."

Reboot failed. "... Snk." The usually mature woman snorted, before she began to cackle with laughter. "T-that's- AHAHAHAHA- SNK- YOU TWO- YOU TWO HAD! YOU-"

"I-its not funny! WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?! It isn't funny!"

"B-but it's so- snk- HAHAHA! It's- it's so completely insane! It's hilarious! I-I can't stop! My sides!"

Chie growled and slammed her empty glass against the counter, frowning as Yukiko fell to the floor, holding her sides as she hollered like a hyena. "That's not even the worst part! Stop laughing, Yukiko!"

"S-sorry! Sorry!" After Yukiko poured herself a shot and drank it, she exhaled and looked at her friend. "Okay. Okay. I'm okay. So what's the worst part? The fact that you have a boyfriend and didn't even tell your BFFH about it?" She pouted.

"He's not my boyfriend! We were just having sex!" Chie corrected, a bit too loudly. Several patrons looked at the two, causing the brunette to groan and pour herself another shot. She downed it and exhaled. "We broke up this morning."

That changed the mood. Yukiko instantly felt guilt over her previous fit of laughter. She refilled both Chie and her own shot glasses, before looking at her frowning friend. "I'm sorry Yosuke dumped you, Chie..."

"He didn't dump me! I dumped him!" She corrected, slapping the counter. She grabbed her glass and was about to drink it, when it was suddenly taken from her hand. Rise had leaped off of Kanji (he whispered a thank you to God) and was now standing at Chie's side.

"Your boyfriend dumped you too?!"Rise downed Chie's drink and slammed it back onto the counter. "Keep the drinks coming, Yukiko! This is officially our Girls' Night Out!"

"Um, should- should I leave then?"

"Stay right where you are, Kanji! Do NOT leave me right now! Do NOT do that to me! Do not be a Yu Narukami!" Kanji planted his ass down on his seat, hands held up. Rise motioned that she was watching him, before looking back at the two girls. "So yay! Girls' Night Out! Just us girls! No boys, and no androgynous skanks who steal boys from us girls!"

Chie and Yukiko glanced at one another, sharing a look of worry and fear. They both emptied their cups down their throats, before the former girl spoke. "Yosuke and I weren't dating. We were just having sex."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"We weren't! Dating and-and what what we did are two very different things! Just because I slept with him doesn't make him my boyfriend!" Chie explained. She refilled her shot glass and downed it with a heavy sigh.

"Yeah, it makes him your ex-boyfriend," Rise snarked.

"Hey!"

"Did you two ever kiss?" Kanji asked.

Chie's blush returned and she sighed, rubbing her hot face with her cold glass. "Yeah, a few times, but that doesn't-"

"Did you two ever exchange gifts?"Yukiko added.

"Well, he got me these tickets for the Trail of the Dragon reboot. We saw it together, but we weren't really focusing on the movie after a while." Chie remembered that night with a quiver as she thought about what Yosuke did to make her ignore a movie she'd been waiting over a year to see. "But, I mean-"

"Did you guys cuddle naked after sex?" The blush on Chie's face said all Rise needed to hear. "You two were totally dating. It may have started off as just friends with benefits, but sooner or later if turned into true, love. You're so lucky," the idol sighed.

"We broke up," Chie plainly stated.

"Well, not that lucky. But you know what they say! Tis better to love and lose than to never love at all!"

"We aren't in love! I mean, we weren't in love!" The girl groaned, slamming her face into the counter. The glasses jingled, the ice bouncing around inside of them, before they all settled down. Chie kept her face pressed against the wooden surface, making a small whine as Yukiko affectionately stroked her head.

"There, there."

"Denial isn't just a river in Egypt," Rise wisely noted.

"You mean sorta like you denying the fact that Yu-Senpai and you were never dating?" Kanji muttered.

The redhead glared at her blonde compatriot. "One more comment like that and you're out of Girls' Night Out, Kanji!"

"S-shit, sorry... Wait, why the hell am I sorry?! To hell with you guys! I don't even want to be here!" The blonde man stood up in an attempt to leave, only to be tackled by the idol. He fell back onto his seat and barely avoided crashing onto the floor. One hand grabbed the counter and the other wrapped around Rise, ensuring she didn't fall. "S-shit!"

"WAAAAAH! FINE! LEAVE ME! JUST LIKE EVERY MEN! LEAVE ME FOR SOME BLUE HAIRED DETECTIVE SLUT!"

"A-ah shit," Kanji grumbled. Rise had returned to crying into his chest, it seemed. He looked around awkwardly, before gently lifting his hand off of her back.

"Pet me," she demanded.

"O-okay!" The young man gently stroked her back, throwing silent pleads at the two girls for help. Both ignored him and returned to their conversation.

"So, Yosuke, huh?"

"Yep." Chie still had her face pressed against the counter. Yukiko gently moved her fingers through her friend's hair, massaging her head to comfort her.

"Can I ask why him? I mean, you two argue all the time. Honestly, I'd think you get with Kanji sooner than Yosuke."

"NO! DAMN YOU, TOMBOY WHORES! STOP STEALING MY MEN!" Rise shrieked.

"W-what?! Y-your men?" I'm-? GAH!"

"Do guys just not like big breasts anymore!? Tell me, Kanji, is that it!?" Rise pulled Kanji into her chest, trapping him between her mammaries.

"R-Rise! Let go!" Kanji's muffled voice pleaded, his face hot and red for more than one reason. He finally freed himself, gasping for air, grabbing Rise's shoulders in an attempt to calm her down. "Rise! C-calm down!"

The idol sniffed, tearing up in his arms. She rubbed at her eyes, trembling. "Of course Senpai didn't want me...Who would want a girl like me?"

"Considering you're an idol? Half the country," Chie muttered.

"I'm never going to get married!" Rise sobbed. "Never ever! No one would ever want to marry me!"

Maybe it was the beer, or the atmosphere, or the crying girl in his arms, whatever it was, it brought something out of Kanji. "To hell with that!" He lifted her head so their eyes met. "Tell you what, if we reach forty and neither of us are married, we'll marry each other!"

Rise blinked, her chocolate eyes glimmering with tears. She sniffled and wiped her nose, before speaking. "Why won't I get married when I'm forty?" Her chocolate eyes turned hard, gleaming like knives now as she glared at Kanji.

"What? I-I mean, its just a hypo- hippo- hypothetical thing!"

"Okay. Hypothetically speaking, why won't I be married when I'm forty?!" Rise grabbed Kanji's collar and pulled his face a hair's breath away from her own. The young man felt her breath on his face. He was sure that there were hundreds, if not thousands of guys who would kill to be here, but honestly? He'd kill to be out of here.

"So... You just going to ignore the fact that Naoto has the biggest pair out of all of us?" Chie voice was muffled due to her face being pressed into the counter, but the arrow still hit its target.

"WAAAAAAH!"

"And we're back here," Kanji sighed as he returned to stroking Rise's back, and the idol returned to crying into his chest.

"You never did answer my question," Yukiko stated. She watched her BFFH finally lift her head up, only to pour herself another drink.

"I didn't come here to get interrogated..."

Yukiko sighed and nodded her head. She quieted her curious mind and offered a friendly smile. "Fair enough. Why did you come? Hopefully not to JUST get drunk?"

"Heh. No. I still have some beers at my apartment still. Yosuke gave them to me before we broke up," the girl muttered.

"You sure you two weren't-"

"Yukiko..."

"Sorry, sorry. Okay. Talk to me, Chie. Why did you come here?"

"I need a favor, and remember what you said!" Chie slammed her glass onto the table and pointed at her mostly sober friend. "You said you wouldn't be mad!"

"I did say that."

"Okay. Good. Because the reason I came over here is, I've been destroying all the things that remind me of Yosuke..."

Yukiko had to bite her lower lip to keep herself from asking for clarification again on the whole 'boyfriend' thing.

"And I actually came to... burn your bed."

What. "What?" Wait... "Wait..." WHAT?! "WHAT?! CHIE!"

"You said you wouldn't be mad!" The girl cried, holding up her hands. "It was only once! Okay, twice!"

"TWICE?!" Yukiko grabbed her friend's shoulders and began to shake her back and forth. Chie was thankful the counter stood between them, keeping her from getting too close. "You had sex on my bed TWICE?!"

"Wait, what?" Kanji turned to the two.

"Huh?" Rise's attention was caught as well.

"Y-Yukiko! Not so loud!"

"WHEN?! WHY?! AHHHH!" Yukiko grabbed a nearby bottle and popped the lid off, before she began to down it to quite the flames of anger in her.

"W-well, once during New Year's..." Chie kicked herself for actually answering. That liquid courage was acting more like liquid stupidity than anything else at the moment!

"New Year's?" Her friend gasped, covering her mouth with one hand as the other pointed at Chie, accusing her. "That's why you were late for the countdown!"

"Wow, talk about starting the year with a bang," Kanji joked.

"Shut up, Kanji. This is serious!" Yukiko scolded.

The blonde boy blinked, before simply nodding. Yukiko-senpai is pissed.

"And once on Yu's birthday," Chie admitted, finishing her cup of liquid stupidity.

"You had sex during his birthday party?! Chie!" Yukiko couldn't believe her BFFH. She was about to scold her, only to be interrupted by the sound of the door opening. Everyone turned their head when they heard a familiar voice.

"Hey guys," Yu greeted, walking over to the group, Naoto by his side. The bluette pulled her hand away from her Senpai's, blushing slightly at all the attention the two had on them. "We having a Girls' Night Out with Kanji?" He inquired, giving the four a friendly smile.

None of the others could return the smile at first. Rise turned her head in an angry huff. Kanji and Chie mumbled their greetings, looking away with embarrassment. Yukiko simply replied with, "Yep. Girls Night Out with Kanji. That's... that's it."

Naoto raised her brow, sensing the obvious tension. If Yu did, he didn't comment on it. Instead, he continued to smile. "That's great. We were actually planning on having a Guys' Night Out tonight."

"With... Naoto?" Kanji slowly asked.

The two nodded, and Yu took a moment to smile at his girlfriend. Their eyes met and she looked away, cheeks flushing again. "Wouldn't be a good night if I didn't get to spend it with my Blue Beauty," Yu mused.

"Senpai, please. You're embarrassing me..."

"Oh, please. Gag me with a spoon," Rise hissed, grabbing a filled glass and drowning her sorrows.

"Wait!" Chie suddenly gasped. The red faced girl stumbled off of her stool, falling to the floor. She hit the ground, before quickly standing up to face the new couple. "Guys' Night Out?! Don't tell me-" The doors opened and closed as two new guests arrived.

"Man, parking was murder!"

"It wouldn't have been if you let me drive," Teddie pouted.

"Yeah, I don't think so. You don't even have a license," Yosuke sighed. The two looked around for their friends, waving at them as soon they saw the grey and blue haired couple. "Hey, guy- Chie?!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Are we missing something?" Yu whispered to his lover.

"It would appear so," Naoto answered, pulling her lover back as Yosuke stomped his way over to Chie.

"Satonaka," he grumbled.

"Hanamaru."

"Hi, Yuki-chan!" Teddie greeted, waving at the bartender.

"Not now, Teddie," the girl pleaded, watching the exs glaring at one another.

"So... Why are you-"

"I'm here to set Yukiko's bed on fire!" Chie announced, standing proud despite her shorter stature.

"Wha- YOU WERE SERIOUS ABOUT THAT?!" Yosuke choked.

"Damn right I was, Hanamura!"

"Just because we had sex on it three times?!"

"Three? Three times, Chie?! You said you had sex on my bed only twice! When was the third time?!" Yukiko growled, walking around the counter and approaching the two brunettes.

Yu leaned over to his girlfriend's ear and whispered to her, subtly. "I think we might have come at a bad time."

"I believe you are correct, Senpai."

"Maybe we should-"

"Senpai!" Rise roared. She walked over to the couple, Kanji's hand in her vicious grip. "I bet youz thinks you're so great! Being in lurv!"she slurred. "Well, juzd so you -hic- knooow... You're never -hic- gonna get any of this!" To the shock of all three friends, Rise began to fling her clothes off. Her shirt was tossed off her body, revealing her bra covered breasts. "You'll -hic- NEVUH touch theze babies!"

"R-Rise! Please," Yu begged, though there was no blush on his face.

"And YOU! You... You boyfriend-stealing -hic- bitch!" The idol swung a hand at Naoto, trying to point at her, but her constant swaying made that impossible. The bluette blinked, before trying to gently catch the swaying idol.

"Rise-chan, you're drunk. Please, let us drive you ho-"

"Don't you pity me, you tramp! Look at Kanji! Look at this heart broken face!" Rise screamed, placing her hands on the tall man's face and playing with it like dough. "He's devastated!" Before he could push the woman off of him, Rise suddenly ducked down. She grabbed the rim of Kanji's pants and pulled down, revealing heart decorated boxers. "Look at what you could be having, Naoto! -HIC- Look at it!"

"Rise, please!" Naoto pleaded, covering her eyes to avoid looking at the half naked Kanji.

Several patrons cheered and clapped, some even whistling. An angry snarl from Kanji silenced them.

"What the hell, Rise!? My pants! You-"

The redhaired girl ignored her partner-in-crime, though. Instead, she looked at Senpai and grabbed her chest, groping herself. "I bet I'm better in bed than Naoto is, Senpai! Not that you'd ever really know, cause she is SUCH a prude! I bet-"

Yu's face, which had seemed eerily calm despite the current events, suddenly exploded in a red heat. His eyes unintentionally sent a message that was read loud and clear. Rise's drunken mind translated it perfectly, and she let out a bellow of jealous rage.

"You guys have already had sex!? AHHHH!"

Least it was probably on their bed, Yukiko thought, before returning her glare to Yosuke and Chie. "Well? I'm waiting for an answer," she growled. The pair suddenly looked very guilty, averting their eyes and trying to ignore the other. "I know you had sex on New Years, and for Yu's birthday a few months ago. So what's this third time I heard?" She hissed, quietly.

Yukiko barely heard Chie's murmured reply. "It was in December, last year."

"On... On the eighth," Yosuke sighed.

December 8th? But that's... "My birthday?! You two had sex on MY BED on MY BIRTHDAY?!"

The silence was all the confession she needed to hear. Yukiko let out a bellow of disgust, rivaling Rise's own.

"Wait, what?" Yu turned his head, distracted from his attempts to pry Rise off of him.

Chie's face turned blazing hot as the attention was back on her. The fact that Yosuke was also stuck with her just made her feel worse. So, she did what her drunk mind told her was a good idea. "Sometimes, Yosuke puts on a silver wig and asks me to call him 'Yu Narukami' when we have sex!"

"You back-stabbing bitch!" Yosuke roared.

"E-excuse me!?" Naoto's flushed face was frozen in a look of utter shock.

"S-shit, dude. That's... that's..." Kanji was left speechless.

"Kinky," Rise giggled.

But Yosuke wasn't going down alone! He turned his stare at his ex-sex buddy and made his own announcement. "Sometimes Chie dresses up as, and orders me to call her-"

"Don't you say it, you bastard!"

"YUKIKO. AMAGI."

"AHHHH!"

I'm too sober for all of this. "Fuck it. Come on, you two." Yukiko grabbed a few bottles of hard alcohol and looked at the two. "You're BOTH helping me burn my bed."

"What?!"

"But Yukiko-"

"Now, Chie!"

"O-okay! Come on, Hanamura..."

The three left the bar, leaving the rest of their friends to watch them go. Rise and Kanji were still half naked.

"Huh..." Yu began. He turned to face his girlfriend with an honest smile on his face. He began to chuckle, silently pulling his girlfriend towards him with one hand. With the other, he pulled Rise close, which also brought along Kanji. He hugged all three of his friends as he laughed. "I love coming here."

END

You know, I've never actually gone drinking before. I don't drink alcohol at all, actually. I have nothing against it, but it is simply not for me. That said, I think bars are fun settings in fiction, and drunk people can be fun to listen to (again, in fiction).

Hope you enjoyed whatever this is. Its a comedy story first, so don't expect any kind of drama or 'reality' to it most of the time. This isn't some melodramatic story about people drinking their cares away. This is just some silly stuff I wanted to draw as I plan out the darker parts of my other story, 'Just a Delinquent' (shameless plug).

Any major OOCness I'll chalk up to the alcohol. Rise's happy for Yu and Naoto and would never try to break them apart... when sober. Hey, if you want a good story about her being super nice and helping the two fall in love despite also having feelings for Yu, check out my other story 'The Detective Princess and Her Foolish Knight' (BOOM. Two plugs. I'm basically an outlet).

Anything else...? Oh, if you have any requests for the drunken antics of our heroes, leave a review. All the characters will get a chance to show off their silly sides.