Summary: He'd been torn apart with a dilemma. He solved it with a solution that led him with loosing someone he didn't want to let go. He'd been renounced unforgivable after a length of so many years, but soon they meet once again. Will he do the same mistake again because he'd live a life of so many sins? Ichigo didn't want to take the risk but it was needed. Please read! It's better!
-Prologue-
Rain
That day she had stood, her eyes hollow and empty, her cheeks dry, her hand desperately clenching his as her world disappeared from her sight. She knew it would all change now.
She had never pulled away from him before.
And it hurt.
Her face had reflected, white and blank, her eyes dark empty pools. With a chill, he remembered the look right after the accident. She had been like a doll that would never smile again. So terribly remote it was as if she had already left.
He could wait. Through the rain, through her anger.
Whatever it would take her to forgive him, to open the door and to hold him close.
He would wait.
"Goodbye is never easy Ichigo…"
Rukia Kuchiki had never been so cold.
God, what are you doing?
His breath caught in the back of his throat, threatening to spew the contents of his stomach. His hands came to a rest on the back of his neck, interlacing, he turned, eyes clenching shut, titling his head back with the rain pounding on his face. Forcing him to accept one simple truth.
"How do you say?"
A mistake.
"It is a part of life and anything that is, is forever a trial for mortal or the immortal, especially for us…"
A sin.
When he needed to explain himself, he studied her intense figure, placing his hands on the curve of her hips, pulling her back against his lean body, resting his forehead of her shoulder.
She had forgotten how potent it was to feel his hard, male flesh against her, the strength of his hands, and the subtle muskiness of his scent.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, burying his face into her tangled dark hair, pressing his lips against the base of her neck. "I'm so sorry."
He had failed her,
And he screamed his denial
Lies
He wanted to believe it would all come back. Lying to make sure the truth wouldn't subside quite rationally.
"—it can hurt anyone"
But he hadn't
Her eyes drifted shut as his warmth continued to work its black magic on her nerves, her will.
Oh god, it would be foolishly easy to just give into him, to just forget.
And that was exactly what he wanted.
She could the boiling rage that she held within for three months slowly begin to tremble until she could no longer stand his touch. Unexpectedly, she pushed his hands away, her fingers snapping in a quick crack.
His eyes flared at the burning sensation of her hand connecting against his skin and he moved his jaw, attempting to stretch out the sting.
"I deserved that." He simply stated.
Another flash of lightening illuminated his entire figure and she helplessly caught her breath.
His face was strong, sharp bones, the curved sculptured lips, and a reflection of haunting male beauty with bronzed skin that was rapidly paling. His leanness was dangerously deceptive, for it was all muscle, graceful strength conditioned from years of swords practice and a running addiction.
His orange mass of hair was matted to his forehead almost black in appearance, his gray thermal knit jacket damply clinging to his torso while the crystal sparkles dripped from the tip of his chiseled nose.
Silently he pleaded her forgiveness, for him to enter what he had taken for granted.
The exploitation of amity grew bigger and bigger with every step they took. They reached a point where both had led to a road no one dare took, and it was yet intricate to accept but still didn't waver to live. Sorrow aged for different accounts where one like this would last undying and reprehensible to a point that, he'd utterly knew. But she didn't.
Silently he begged her to complete the connection they once created
Rukia moved nothing of her; resolve hardening her features, allowing her face to drop, separating what they had once been.
By the Gods, it hurts so much to avoid him but she did it with a choice. Whether she would give him an immediate stare or not, he wasn't an exception to what became of her. Not at all.
He stared at her. Amber meeting Violet. Soul looking at rival soul. She looked so miserable without what she needed… her life, her heart. Him. She changed his life and so did he, but not in the best way, it turned out to be. God, why was he born a fool?
He moved closer.
Go back.
Struggling so unruly because he knew she'd dare burry him alive
You chose a path, and it this wasn't the one
It was a decision for his life, and for all that he loved but did he contemplate enough in desiring what he most needed? Wanted? He didn't want to take chances but who was he to get everything he asks? He was just human. Not God.
Am I forbidden…
It wasn't something that had even entered Ichigo's brain. He couldn't process the thought of the failing interaction, not even after days. It was hard enough thinking he had lost his best friend. His light. His moon, the one that made him complete, but to know it was he who had caused it, made him sick to the bone. He couldn't comprehend how he had been so stupid as to tear them apart, to cause her pain by his actions. The only way he could possibly justify letting her go, was that she had a right to be happy, just as she had told him when she'd made light of his behavior and the effect it was having on not only her, but the people he called friends.
Was it to test his courage? If it were, then he wouldn't fail.
…to have you for our lasting moments?
Sin
He moved one more step closer around her boundaries that he was now just a breath away from her face. He urged his hand to skim upward until it landed on her cold, wet cheek. They gazed deeply; pouring every emotion, they both shared but now will disperse from reality because it had been a game. A game that now ends, thus resulting to his idiotic acts. When she found out that it was his diversity to expel they had once had, she'd been in range, torment and regret.
It was to forgive but would she?
No one said anything because the tensions folding them into partners of ordeal were more than based words. It had been action. He tilted his head nearer to steal what he always dreamt to have, a passionate kiss from her. From the time, their lips were nearly inches apart from kissing; she pushed away with her hands and struck him with a cold stare. One that would make him remember it for the growing years and made him felt more remorseful than ever.
He reached out his hand for her but without considering, retreated and ran as fast as she could from where he currently stands. It was the last meeting they would foresee and the fading image of her running away from him with the seen tears her eyes had wept would remain forever a glossy memory for what he once did. He made her cry.
A promise agreed upon but shattered, was it reasonable for him to be dreadful? He knew the answer.
It was a yes.
When he stood there with swirling guilt, the rain didn't stop. Instead, it became a storm. Staring into the rain, his churning stomach harshly clenched, his breath catching in the back to his throat. God, it was a mistake but not accidental. He was just a fool. A stupid fool.
Rukia had been a complication, and the only one the breaching his defenses with the wall she created destroyed once she had gone away. It was no more of them.
Ichigo and Rukia are dead and gone.
He will never see her again.
.
.
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A/N: Hope you liked it! Please leave loving reviews.
Love,
Moonshine79