We Have Problems--A Psychiatric Story
Session One--Yuy Goes Bananas
I love link: Welcome. We are the two sister psychiatrists, I love link and Vi Maxwell.
Vi Maxwell: Yeperoo! Did anyone know I love Duo?
Ill: Yes, well, I thought it was a bit.... obvious. Anywho, today we have our first patient, Mr Heero Yuy.
VM: And this moron thinks he's an ape! Can you say... weird? Hahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!!!
Ill: Vi, though it may be funny, we mustn't laugh at our patients! We're on live TV, for God's sake!
VM: I know!!!!!!!!!!! Screw live TV!!!!!!!
Ill: I'm sure you'd like to, but we don't have time to talk about that right now. Bring out Yuy!
Two guards drag a howling and screaming Heero out from backstage. He is wearing a straightjacket.
VM: So, Sir Yuy, do you like bananas?
Ill: Vi! Will you behave for once in your life? I know dad forgot to pick you up at school Friday night, but I'm sure the janitor's closet was very comfortable! Don't take your anger out on Mr Yuy!
VM: Hey! Who said it was a naughty question? He thinks he's an ape, dammit!!!!!! Lunatic!!!!!!!
Ill: Speaking of lunatics, do we have Mystere on the set?
A man with a red cape and a mask leaps out from behind I love link's chair.
Mystere: YOU NEED A SPANKING! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
I love link: Will you please sheath your sword before you put someone's eye out?!
VM: Or cut off Sir Yuy's banana.
Mystere: Banana!? Wherewherewherewherewhere????
I love link: Get off the set, Leo!
Mystere:(running off-stage) REMEMBER MY NAME! MYSTERE!
I love link:(sweatdrops) Anyway, we're sorry for the interruption.
VM: Back to my question, Sir Yuy. Do you like bananas?
Heero: Yep, especially Treize's!!!!!!
I love link: That's sick.
VM: Okay, next question!
I love link: Mr Yuy, why are you obsessed with bananas?
Heero: I went to da zoo, and I saw a wittle monkey dere!
I love link: Are you sure you didn't just look in the mirror?
Heero: What da hell???
VM: And what happened with the monkey? What made you go bonkers over bananas?
Heero: Da monkey...... I ate da monkey's banana!
I love link: Oh my.....
Heero: It was.... yummy...... (licks lips) I wike eating bananas....
I love link:(sweatdrops) Why are you talking like a baby?!
Heero:(giggles) Hic...!
VM: What a pleasant conversation! Where's Duo?
I love link: Normally I would say something smart like `up your ass and around the corner', but for some reason, I seem to be in my sophisticated mode. Duo is on tomorrow.
Heero: Hic! Monkey's banana good! I like to blow on bananas!!!!
VM: We needed to know that.....
I love link: ...... like we needed a hole in the head.
VM: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!GROSS!!!!!!
I love link: Ladies and gents, we will now censor anything that is remotely.... wrong.... for all those sensitive eyes that are reading.
Heero: I like *censored*! I like *censored*! I blow *censored*!
I love link: That's just annoying.
Leo, Hiro, and Ronfar run past, each wearing a Mystere mask.
Heero: Do they have *censored*???
I love link:(sweatdrops and blushes) Yes, Heero, they do have *censored*. This place is turning into a three-ring circus.
Heero: Are there any monkeys? I like to blow on monkeys *censored*.
VM: We've already realized that much. Sooooooooo, any other interesting things you like doing?????
I love link: Vi..... I'm warning you!!!
VM: What'd I do? What'd I say?????????
I love link: Mr Yuy....... we want to help you... but you friggin' need to cooperate!
Heero: I love *censored*! I eat *censored*! I love *censored*!
VM: Wonderful.
I love link: You stole my word!!! THAT'S MY WORD!!!!
VM: Well, soooorrryyyy, your highness. How's this? Interesting.
I love link: As long as it's not either-
1- I hate you;
2- Go to hell;
3- I'm gonna kill you;
4- Get a life; or
5- Wonderful.
Shams gave me those words.
Heero: Is Shams a *censored*?
I love link: NO, HE'S A COMPLETE MORON!
Heero: Am I a complete moron?
VM and Ill: YES, YOU MORON!!!!!
VM: Actually, you're more *censored* than anything!
I love link: This is so stupid. I have a Science project due tomorrow, and I haven't written the script yet. I'm screwed. Screwed. SCREWED, I TELL YOU!
Heero: I think she just went *censored*.
I love link: I've had enough of this crap. Goodbye!
VM: Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! My hockey game! Sens vs. Leafs! I gotta go, everybody! Buh-bye! Oh, yeah, lock *censored*-boy up. Don't let him torture the poor little monkey!!!!! Bye!!!!!
I love link attempts to leave the stage, but just then, Hiro, Ronfar and Leo march past, still wearing their Mystere masks. They trample I love link.
I love link: LEO!!!!! ALTHENA IS GOING TO HEAR ABOUT THIS, SO HELP ME GOD! I'LL GET RUBY TO BLOW YOU UP! BETTER YET, I'LL GET NALL TO BLOW YOU UP! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Leo: Screw Althena.
I love link: I'll leave that to Zophar or Ghaleon, thanks. Until next time....... *censored* to you!
(Authors' Notes: Do you dare to read the next chapter? Or are you afraid? You must have strong mental health to face the next chapters.
Alright, we'll quit it with the Star Wars talk. Next chapter, we meet Duo Maxwell, Vi's little Shinigami.
Vi:(sighs) He's so hot!
I love link: Shut up for once in your life!
Sisters..... we shouldn't have written a story together.)
Session One--Yuy Goes Bananas
I love link: Welcome. We are the two sister psychiatrists, I love link and Vi Maxwell.
Vi Maxwell: Yeperoo! Did anyone know I love Duo?
Ill: Yes, well, I thought it was a bit.... obvious. Anywho, today we have our first patient, Mr Heero Yuy.
VM: And this moron thinks he's an ape! Can you say... weird? Hahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!!!
Ill: Vi, though it may be funny, we mustn't laugh at our patients! We're on live TV, for God's sake!
VM: I know!!!!!!!!!!! Screw live TV!!!!!!!
Ill: I'm sure you'd like to, but we don't have time to talk about that right now. Bring out Yuy!
Two guards drag a howling and screaming Heero out from backstage. He is wearing a straightjacket.
VM: So, Sir Yuy, do you like bananas?
Ill: Vi! Will you behave for once in your life? I know dad forgot to pick you up at school Friday night, but I'm sure the janitor's closet was very comfortable! Don't take your anger out on Mr Yuy!
VM: Hey! Who said it was a naughty question? He thinks he's an ape, dammit!!!!!! Lunatic!!!!!!!
Ill: Speaking of lunatics, do we have Mystere on the set?
A man with a red cape and a mask leaps out from behind I love link's chair.
Mystere: YOU NEED A SPANKING! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
I love link: Will you please sheath your sword before you put someone's eye out?!
VM: Or cut off Sir Yuy's banana.
Mystere: Banana!? Wherewherewherewherewhere????
I love link: Get off the set, Leo!
Mystere:(running off-stage) REMEMBER MY NAME! MYSTERE!
I love link:(sweatdrops) Anyway, we're sorry for the interruption.
VM: Back to my question, Sir Yuy. Do you like bananas?
Heero: Yep, especially Treize's!!!!!!
I love link: That's sick.
VM: Okay, next question!
I love link: Mr Yuy, why are you obsessed with bananas?
Heero: I went to da zoo, and I saw a wittle monkey dere!
I love link: Are you sure you didn't just look in the mirror?
Heero: What da hell???
VM: And what happened with the monkey? What made you go bonkers over bananas?
Heero: Da monkey...... I ate da monkey's banana!
I love link: Oh my.....
Heero: It was.... yummy...... (licks lips) I wike eating bananas....
I love link:(sweatdrops) Why are you talking like a baby?!
Heero:(giggles) Hic...!
VM: What a pleasant conversation! Where's Duo?
I love link: Normally I would say something smart like `up your ass and around the corner', but for some reason, I seem to be in my sophisticated mode. Duo is on tomorrow.
Heero: Hic! Monkey's banana good! I like to blow on bananas!!!!
VM: We needed to know that.....
I love link: ...... like we needed a hole in the head.
VM: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!GROSS!!!!!!
I love link: Ladies and gents, we will now censor anything that is remotely.... wrong.... for all those sensitive eyes that are reading.
Heero: I like *censored*! I like *censored*! I blow *censored*!
I love link: That's just annoying.
Leo, Hiro, and Ronfar run past, each wearing a Mystere mask.
Heero: Do they have *censored*???
I love link:(sweatdrops and blushes) Yes, Heero, they do have *censored*. This place is turning into a three-ring circus.
Heero: Are there any monkeys? I like to blow on monkeys *censored*.
VM: We've already realized that much. Sooooooooo, any other interesting things you like doing?????
I love link: Vi..... I'm warning you!!!
VM: What'd I do? What'd I say?????????
I love link: Mr Yuy....... we want to help you... but you friggin' need to cooperate!
Heero: I love *censored*! I eat *censored*! I love *censored*!
VM: Wonderful.
I love link: You stole my word!!! THAT'S MY WORD!!!!
VM: Well, soooorrryyyy, your highness. How's this? Interesting.
I love link: As long as it's not either-
1- I hate you;
2- Go to hell;
3- I'm gonna kill you;
4- Get a life; or
5- Wonderful.
Shams gave me those words.
Heero: Is Shams a *censored*?
I love link: NO, HE'S A COMPLETE MORON!
Heero: Am I a complete moron?
VM and Ill: YES, YOU MORON!!!!!
VM: Actually, you're more *censored* than anything!
I love link: This is so stupid. I have a Science project due tomorrow, and I haven't written the script yet. I'm screwed. Screwed. SCREWED, I TELL YOU!
Heero: I think she just went *censored*.
I love link: I've had enough of this crap. Goodbye!
VM: Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! My hockey game! Sens vs. Leafs! I gotta go, everybody! Buh-bye! Oh, yeah, lock *censored*-boy up. Don't let him torture the poor little monkey!!!!! Bye!!!!!
I love link attempts to leave the stage, but just then, Hiro, Ronfar and Leo march past, still wearing their Mystere masks. They trample I love link.
I love link: LEO!!!!! ALTHENA IS GOING TO HEAR ABOUT THIS, SO HELP ME GOD! I'LL GET RUBY TO BLOW YOU UP! BETTER YET, I'LL GET NALL TO BLOW YOU UP! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Leo: Screw Althena.
I love link: I'll leave that to Zophar or Ghaleon, thanks. Until next time....... *censored* to you!
(Authors' Notes: Do you dare to read the next chapter? Or are you afraid? You must have strong mental health to face the next chapters.
Alright, we'll quit it with the Star Wars talk. Next chapter, we meet Duo Maxwell, Vi's little Shinigami.
Vi:(sighs) He's so hot!
I love link: Shut up for once in your life!
Sisters..... we shouldn't have written a story together.)