This was inspired by another fanfiction I was planning. I realized that Kaoru got completely screwed over in that one, so that made me start to feel sorry for him, and I wrote this. Please enjoy it.
There was a war going on in the Third Music Room. It was a very small, localized war, but it was a war nonetheless. Although only seven people were in the room, the decibel level was louder than when it was packed with customers. It was probably a good thing that the room Tamaki and Kyouya had stumbled upon while searching for a place to host their new club was soundproof. The cause of the war, ironically enough, was making very little noise. The combatants, one of whom was one of the original founders, were the ones responsible for the headaches of the other five.
"Haruhi, dearest daughter whose eyes shine more brightly than the stars from my rooftop observatory on a clear night, would you do me the honour of accompanying me to that most quaint and lovely of commoner shops, the little place with the mirrors that sells gelato?"
"Sempai, you know I don't like sweet things," the cause of the war said, narrowing her eyes.
"Haruhi, since you are a first-year like myself, would you mind if I picked you up in my limousine for the class-wide picnic this Sunday? Since we will be spending the whole day with our classmates, I think we should spend some time together beforehand just as friends."
"I am fine with taking the train like I normally do, thank you."
"Besides, there is no way a wise and intelligent girl like my daughter would allow herself to be alone in a limousine with doppelgangers like you," the first combatant added.
"I seem to recall her agreeing to meet me to study, alone, with only the books as witnesses," the second combatant said innocently.
"What! How dare you take advantage of the noble and radiant mind behind those guileless and so cute brown eyes in that adorable face worthy of the empress herself!"
"Well, the fact remains that I have a… what do you call them? I think the word is "study date" though I could be mistaken."
Kaoru stopped listening when his brother and his lord started throwing things at one another and leaned against the wall with a sigh. He had not missed Hikaru's use of the word "me" rather than "we" when talking about his study date with Haruhi. In truth, Hikaru had asked Haruhi for the special study session himself, and she had agreed and invited Kaoru to join them. Looking at his twin's face, Kaoru had declined and was rewarded by the happy light in the golden eyes. His heart had simultaneously swelled with pleasure at Hikaru's happiness and broke because the happiness did not include him.
"It appears that midnight is not many hours away," he muttered softly with a twisted smile.
"It is not even evening yet," a dry voice broke into his brooding thoughts. Kaoru looked up in surprise. He had not realized that his section of wall was next to Kyouya's preferred out-of-the-way table, nor had he noticed when the older boy stopped typing and turned to face him with a politely inquisitive look.
"Oh, Kyouya-sempai," Kaoru said, embarrassment tingeing his cheeks pink. "I did not mean literal midnight…"
"Then what did you mean?" Kyouya asked, reaching over and minimizing his spreadsheet to reveal his desktop, which featured a slightly blurry picture of himself and Tamaki in front of Tokyo Tower, the legacy of Tamaki's camera-fever from when he first arrived in Japan.
"Well, my personal theory is that this family setting our lord built is meant to protect our current relationships," Kaoru began hesitantly, knowing that no one else he had talked to gave much credit to his ideas. Kyouya did not disappoint him.
"You must be speaking of someone other than the lord I know, because he could never be that calculating," the second-year commented.
"It's just a theory," Kaoru said defensively, ducking his head in slight embarrassment.
"Go on then," Kyouya said with a slightly mocking tone. He leaned back in his chair and fixed the younger Hitachiin with the glare of his glasses.
"The metaphor I used is that those relationships are a carriage, which the lord is driving," Kaoru said, fixing his eyes on a particular cloud behind Tokyo Tower to avoid looking at the other boy's all-too-blank stare. "It is all fine so long as the carriage keeps going with everyone safely inside, but when midnight comes, the carriage inevitably turns back into a pumpkin. That happens when Hikaru—I mean, any one of the three, really—takes a step forward and realizes that this competition is more than just a silly game."
"And you do not want Hikaru to take this step forward," Kyouya said calmly. Kaoru wondered abstractly why he had picked such a cold person upon whom to unburden himself.
"Not really," Kaoru said slowly. If he tilted his head, the blur from Tamaki's camera almost made that cloud look like a heart. "I want Hikaru to be happy and if being with Haruhi does that for him, then I want him to go forward… but I am afraid of what will happen to me when he goes on."
"Is that all?" Kyouya drawled. Startled, Kaoru tore his eyes from the monitor to Kyouya's face. The older boy looked more bored than anything as he looked emotionlessly back at the redhead. "I knew you two were dense, but I did not realize you were this dense," he commented. "Go waste someone else's time."
"Wait!" Kaoru said, catching Kyouya's shoulder as he turned back to his laptop and jerking him back. "What do you mean by saying I'm dense? How is being lonely when Hikaru has a romantic interest dense? You don't have a twin… there's no way you could understand," Kaoru hissed bitterly, clenching his fists. Never again would he confide in the heartless, unsympathetic vice-president! What had come over him?
"Think about this logically," Kyouya said. "Say Hikaru and Haruhi do become a couple, unlikely though it seems when he is denser than even you. What do you lose?"
Kaoru's train of self-pitying thoughts abruptly stopped, throwing him off-balance. Kyouya had asked the question in such a straightforward, albeit demeaning, manner, Kaoru was surprised to found that he had never specifically thought about it before now. He cast about desperately for some answer that did not sound like selfish whining.
"I lose… a companion, a confidant…" Kaoru said. His eyes found that cloud again. It looked almost as though it was floating out of Tamaki's head, which struck Kaoru as oddly appropriate.
"So, hypothetically, Hikaru and Haruhi start dating," Kyouya's relentless voice broke through his musings. "Hikaru stops doing things with you and stops talking to you. Is that what you are saying?"
"Not to that extent," Kaoru protested. Kyouya was twisting his words, and that was unfair!
"Then realistically, you lose an evening or two a week, since Haruhi would surely not take more time than that away from her studies," the vice-president said bluntly. "How tragic. Kaoru, is my desktop really that fascinating? I have not changed it in the last two years and you never noticed it in the past."
"What? That cloud just… never mind," Kaoru said, shoulders sagging.
"Most people tend to notice me or Tamaki, or possibly the tower, though how they can make anything out amazes me, considering the way Tamaki was bouncing when he took that picture," Kyouya said with a sarcastic smile. It quickly disappeared as the businessman returned to the topic at hand. "In the overall picture, do two or three hours every so often make a difference to two people who spend every waking and sleeping moment together?"
"I guess not," Kaoru admitted, feeling a need to back his claims up somehow. "However, he will start talking to her…"
"Because he never talks to her now, aspiring monk that he is," Kyouya deadpanned, pushing his glasses up his nose. "He whispers sweet nothings into her ear and asks her for help on homework. They talk about you and the club and other current events. However, when he is really confused about something, who is the one person who will always stand by him, who will always give him sound advice?"
"Me, obviously," Kaoru said, stung.
"So, when Tamaki has something really important to talk about, he still comes to you. He does not want Haruhi to see his flaws and insecurities, so he takes them to the person he trusts enough to reveal them in his presence. After all, you two have something special, something no one else can replicate. He feels comfortable around you in a way he never will around anyone else, and if something truly matters, you will always be the one he turns to first. So he does not tell you all his little romantic escapades. Would you really want to hear them or would they just increase your jealousy?"
"Tamaki?" Kaoru asked, his head reeling.
"Did I say Tamaki?" Kyouya asked. "Not that there is much of a difference between the levels of idiocy… The point is that new feelings for Haruhi will not change the old feelings Hikaru has for you. You have the endure the honeymoon stage, where all his attention is on her, but that fades fairly quickly, especially considering the rate at which you two grow bored." Kyouya leaned back and allowed his fingers to trail across his keyboard. "Now, think about the other side. If you and Hikaru were dating, what would you gain?"
"Couples always have that feeling of exclusivity around them," Kaoru said sheepishly, unsure if he was ready for more unvarnished truth. Kyouya closed his eyes, perhaps in frustration.
"And because Haruhi is having an operation to turn her into a redheaded male, you suddenly find yourself a triplet. For someone who claims that no one else can understand the special bonds shared by twins, you certainly have a twisted view of exclusivity." He smirked as he traced lazy circles on the touchpad. Kaoru watched the little arrow move from Kyouya's face to Tamaki's face to the edge of screen, where it stopped as it hit that impenetrable wall.
"It is kind of silly to be jealous of someone else when I spent nine months in a womb with Hikaru," Kaoru admitted, having accepted the fact that the second-year was going to make him look like a complete fool no matter what he said.
"The only other thing you would gain from a relationship with Hikaru would be the physical aspect, and you get that through your act here in the club," Kyouya continued. "There are also plenty of girls, several of whom are probably far better kissers than Hikaru, throwing themselves at you. If you are jealous of that aspect, you are exceedingly shallow and I have no idea why I just bothered to help you."
"I'm not," Kaoru said quickly.
"Good," Kyouya said, opening his eyes and sitting up. "I think we have successfully proven that you lose nothing if Hikaru takes that step forward and gain nothing if he steps backward. Can you think of anything else I need to beat into your head?"
Only Kyouya, Kaoru reflected morosely, could deliver a threat like that with such a pleasant and charming smile. Never again would he confide in the vice-president, who probably had undiluted evil running through his veins in lieu of blood. And yet, the first-year felt better, despite the crushing blows to his ego. Perhaps unadorned logic had its place, though he would be damned before admitting such a thing.
"No, Mom," he said meekly. While he was fairly certain that he would not fall apart with the carriage, it could not hurt to enjoy the ride while it lasted.
Hours later, lying awake and watching the clock make its relentless way toward midnight, Kaoru realized that Kyouya might not have been referring the twins the entire time. In his selfish fears, Kaoru had not realized that the second-year had just as much to lose if the carriage turned into a pumpkin, considering that he did not even have familial ties on which to rely. With a sigh, Kaoru turned away from the clock and snuggled against Hikaru.
If the next Hitachiin prank just happened to end with Tamaki and Kyouya locked in a dark room, well, these things simply turned out that way sometimes.