First Death Note fic submitted in the fandom. Second DN fic written.
Takes place before the whole L-Raito chaining incident.
No important spoilers.
Disclaimer: Death Note, not mine.
On with the story.
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" Yagami-kun? "
"……? "
" Do you hate me? " asked the greatest detective known to mankind and Kira-kind, as he pushed around a piece of strawberry on his plate, meticulously coating it in whipped cream, with a two finger grip on his fork, toes digging further in the plush seat of the couch, where he was currently seated in a quaint café, facing one Yagami Raito.
' Damn right I do. '
" That's.. an out of the blue question, Ryuzaki. " Raito simply sipped on his coffee. He used to like this place, but his interest was fast diminishing ever since L took a shine to it. They used to come here now and then anyway.
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" Well, do you? " L persisted, delicately popping the piece of fruit in his mouth.
" Heh he… he is moody today.." Ryuuku chuckled in the background, voice hollow, noisy as always.
" It's kind of …difficult to be affectionate towards the person who suspects you of being a mass murdering monster… " Raito was carefully stringing his words, all the while maintaining the most sincere expression he could manage ( while entertaining thoughts of how L would choke on the strawberry if he were to have a heart attack at that very moment) " But no, I don't hate you. You are fighting for justice too, after all. " he boyishly ran a hand through perfectly honeyed strands, gleaming in the mild sunlight that filtered to their seats.
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" Hmm.." L chewed thoughtfully, savoring every bit of the tart flavor of the red berry, before plucking at another bite sized piece of cake, slicing it efficiently. " Yagami-kun, did you know? " He stared at the near complete opposite of himself sitting across him, " Each one of us is a monster in the making. "
" Monster? "
" Hoho.. That's an interesting one, eh Raito? " Ryuuku was floating all over the place, and Raito had the sudden urge to glare at him and shut him up; L was up to his little mind games again it seemed.
L just nodded his head in a gesture of affirmation.
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" There's a monster in every one of us Yagami-kun, right here.." L tapped a deathly pale, slender hand on his chest; from the coloring, it was obvious that the hand had not seen its fair share of sunshine.
Raito's grip tightened around the handle of his hot mug of coffee.
' What should I say? What does he expect me to say? If I agree with him, I might agree to being a monster, he will definitely use it to link me with Kira… But if I disagree here, I'll sound too idealistic and once again, it might increase the possibility of me being Kira, because Kira is an idealist, isn't he? Damn it, Ryuzaki. How many more percentage of my freedom are you going to take this time? '
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" What makes you say that, Ryuzaki? " Raito commented off handedly, feigning lack of interest.
" It's simply my understanding of the human nature. " a pink tongue darted out, and L licked any and all evidence of cream, clean off the fork. Time to start on the pineapple upside-down cake with caramel and cherry jam.
" If you say that, it's like saying…."
" Yes, there is a monster hiding in myself as well, I suppose. " L answered between bites of sugared pineapple.
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" According to your theory, all human beings would be monsters, Ryuzaki. You are aware that you are not making much sense here, aren't you? " Raito pointed out lightly, placing his now empty coffee container on the table. The gesture offering him half eaten cake was declined politely.
' It's a good thing he is not eating apple pie.. Ryuuku might have misbehaved… ' He almost frowned at that thought.
" Not at all, Yagami-kun. In most of us, that monster is just a fledgling you see… "
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" A fledgling? " Raito crossed his arms on his chest and leaned back in his seat.
" Right. Nothing more than a baby who hasn't even learned how to speak. It is more or less, innocent…" L shrugged. " But…"
" But…? " Raito prompted. Though he wouldn't like to admit, this little chat was sparking his interest.
" But it does not mean it cannot grow. " Dark eyes ringed with even darker circles stared straight at him, as if prying into his soul. Raito did not like it when L did that. It was like he was being undressed by those eyes, and the truth could be unclothed any minute.
Of course, that never happened. If it did, he wouldn't be Yagami Raito.
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" A very interesting point of view, Ryuzaki. " He played along. " So what makes the fledgling grow? "
" The reasons are plenty, Yagami-kun. " L looked at his cake again, apparently concluding that at the moment, the cake was more appealing than Raito after all. " Sometimes we nurture our own monsters.." he paused, " At times, they are also nurtured at the hands of others…"
"…..? " Raito awaited elaboration.
" Kira was nurtured at the hands of others. " L commented somewhat solemnly.
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" Oh? Was he now? " Ryuuku commented dryly.
" And how did you arrive at that conclusion? " For a moment Raito narrowed his eyes. He did not like people, and most of all, L, making strange assumptions about him.
" To begin with, Yagami-kun, Kira does not know love. "
' And why would I want to know about love? ' Raito wondered.
" And now he has become immune to it. " L continued with his explanation.
" That's a flawed analysis, Ryuzaki. " Raito murmured.
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" How so, Yagami-kun? He never got the kind of affection he craved. Now he probably believes that he no longer needs it. Kira grew because of it. " L thoughtfully sucked on his thumb, " Let me put it this way, Yagami-kun, say if Kira had important people who gave him that affection, I doubt if he would have so much time on his hands, or feel the need, to go on a mission of mass murder…."
" I still don't quite see…." Raito started to comment.
" Kira is different from others, do you not agree? " L countered.
" So Kira…"
" Grew because of lack of affection. " L finished for him, with an air of finality.
Raito's eyebrow was starting to twitch almost visibly. Of all the ideas that cooked in the head of the sun deprived, unlikely genius, this was by far the most preposterous, and downright ridiculous. But for some reason, it was making him…angry?
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" So you are saying love is the savior, Ryuzaki? But if I follow your theory, I can also say that many monsters feed on love. " Raito replied, calm as ever. " Crimes of passion, isn't that what they are called? They are committed by monsters nurtured by love. "
" Love could have been the savior for Kira, Yagami-kun. Not for any and all monsters. " L shrugged. " Each monster needs a different medicine. "
" By saying could have, you mean…"
" Right. There is no hope left for Kira anymore. " L gazed mournfully at the last crumbs on the plate (s?).
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" Why? " Raito asked as L proceeded to pay the bill, leaving a generous tip behind, they got up, it was time to leave.
" Because…" L followed his adversary, shoulders hunched, shoelaces trailing behind, " Kira is complete. "
" Complete? "
" Each time you feed the monster in you, a part of the human dies. " L explained as they walked on the pavement, Ryuuku hovering behind. " Kira was nourished by others, and he kept feeding the monster in himself. Now the human in him is.." He paused, perhaps for dramatic effect. ".. dead."
" Did you hear that Raito? He said you are dead! " Ryuuku howled gleefully.
"……" Raito wanted to punch both L , and the damn shinigami, right then and there.
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" I feel sorry for him. " L thought aloud.
' Feel sorry? For me? You fool. I'm perfection. ' Raito softly clenched his fists.
" Kira is the deadliest type of monster, Yagami-kun, extremely difficult to spot, closest thing to perfection, one might say. But he will never actually become perfection. And…" L was trying to properly frame what he wanted to say, " I have difficulty accepting it, but Kira was a fledgling too, a long time ago. "
" What makes you say that? " Raito played along coolly, though he was feeling otherwise.
' I'm going to create my perfect world. Then let's see if you can talk. I will rule. Me. Me alone. You won't even be there to witness it. I'll make sure….'
" Kira's wish was innocent enough. Eden. Utopia. But the monster in him twisted it into something terrible. Now he simply wants to rule the world. " L sighed, whether in seriousness, or in mockery, it was difficult to distinguish.
"….! " Raito was unable to come up with a counter statement.
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" What do you think of human nature, Yagami-kun? "
" I think humans…are flawed to begin with. Emotions are a weakness, be it love, hate, vengeance, malice, or even pride. We all succumb to them at some point. That decides our fate. " Raito allowed a boyish grin to grace his features, eyes earnest.
' Thankfully, it doesn't apply to me. Because I… am God. The God of this new world. '
" Do you need affection, Yagami-kun? " L asked as they neared their destination, their new headquarters.
" Of course I do. I'm human after all. Ha ha.." Raito forced a fake laugh, which was extremely hard, as Ryuuku was bursting from real laughter in the background.
" That's good. Because Kira probably thinks he is God. " L brought his thumb to his lips again.
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" What are you thinking, Ryuzaki? " Raito sighed, patience wearing thinner and thinner by the second.
" 12 percent. " L smiled impishly.
" …! " And Raito failed to hide the sheer annoyance that flashed across his face.
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" If Yagami-kun is Kira…" L murmured.
" What is it now? " Raito snapped, clearing some space as he made his way through the mess of empty drink containers and candy wrappers.
" Nothing really. " L took a seat on his current favorite chair and opened his laptop, ' I wouldn't mind being your savior. '
Because each one of us is a monster in the making. And even though there is a difference in their nature, one monster does tend to understand the other.
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Owari
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A/N: Just my strange take on the situation. Hope you liked it.
Reviews much appreciated, so if you liked it, do review!
Thank you for reading.