So just posting this for Christmas :) Got the idea from 'A Home For The Holidays' special that shows every Christmas about the orphans, and how adoption changes their lives. I hope you like it...
Even as a little boy, Logan would wish for a home for the holidays. As an orphan, he wanted more than anything to have someone to own him, to know that he belonged somewhere.
He would wish upon every little star, and his Christmas wish every year was the same : 'I want a Mommy and Daddy', whispered into Santa's ear, so softly, so reverently, that even the old jolly man wished he could give it to the little boy. Every time he glanced at the clock, and it happened to say 11:11, his both index fingers would intertwine with their respective middle fingers, and his chocolate brown eyes would shut tightly, putting all his faith into that one wish.
A home for the holidays.
A home where he could spend Christmas, decorate his own tree, and open his own gifts.
It wasn't his fault that his mother was a drunkard, and his father was an abusive bastard.
He just wanted a loving mommy and daddy.
So when Joanna Mitchell walked into the orphanage, Logan knew that this was his only chance. He loved Joanna from the first time he saw her, and the name was simple, and fit perfectly with his own name.
That Christmas, he was situated in a new home, with a beautiful mother, who had a strong connection with him.
Christmas day, waking up, and seeing actual, real gifts for him under his own tree, made hope blossom in his chest, a hope that he never wanted to die.
Hope that dreams do come true.
...
That was fifteen years ago. Now, Logan can as sure as fuck tell you that dreams don't come true.
He takes a long drag on his cigarette, holding in the smoke as long as possible before shooting it out in one long breath. He pulls his coat closer, and draws his knees up to his chest, as he thinks about his situation.
He's twenty-two, and he has the same wish that he had at seven years.
A home for the holidays.
He stares off into the distance, at the bright, shining lights decorating multiple houses. Snow falls lightly on his head as he feels himself tear up.
It's his entire fucking fault. He was the one who fucked up. Just one bump in the road of life led him to a life of drugs and alcohol, and then he was a goner. Joanna never gave up on him, sending him to therapy, but yet still he could never figure out what exactly caused this insane addiction.
He remembers his friends, James and Carlos, and then suddenly, green eyes fill his head, and he bites his lip. Kendall. He misses that bastard like hell.
Six years, and still, every Christmas, he would whisper softly, 'Merry Christmas Kendall. I love you', no matter where he was or what time it was.
But that was all in the past.
He looks at the cigarette, stuck between his trembling fingers, and suddenly all he feels is disgust.
He chucks the cigarette down into the snow, hearing a soft sizzle.
Time to get up, he thinks. And get a job.
He sighs, his breath forming a fog of cloud in front of him, similar to the smoke cloud. His head drops onto his knees.
He just wants somewhere to stay for the holidays. It's fucking Christmas, for Christ's sake!
Suddenly, the tears come, and he's fucking crying on a fucking bench in the middle of the fucking pavement. What the fuck.
He was such a hopeless dick.
'Are you okay?'
The voice is soft, but Logan's head shoots up, wiping away the tears quickly, and sniffling. He forces a smile. 'Yeah.'
All Logan could make out from the person who spoke is a pair of piercing green eyes. The rest of their features were blocked out by the hoodie they wore.
'No you're not,' the stranger says, his voice still soft and compelling. 'Come with me. You look cold. I don't live far.'
Logan forces another humourless laugh. 'My mom always told me to not go with strangers.'
The person speaks again, and Logan could tell that they were smiling.
'Well your mom's not here, isn't she?'
Logan looks at the bench he's sitting on. Anything was better than this.
Wasn't it Christmas?
He got up. 'Let's go,' he says, smiling shyly.
...
Logan can't believe it, as he's following this random person. He can't believe that someone actually wanted him in his house. It caused a rush of blood to his head and a large smile on his face.
Maybe this guy was poor and lived in a poor, run down house, and that was why he could afford to invite Logan in, but Logan has learned to appreciate even the smallest things, and even a small shack would be perfect.
But when the guy says 'This is my home,' and Logan looks up, his mouth drops open, and his brow furrows together.
'Un-fucking-believable,' he mutters as he's gazing at a mansion. He follows the guy, confusion and excitement mixing together and coursing through his veins.
The guy opens the door, and turns back to Logan, gesturing him inside. 'Ladies first,' the voice says mockingly.
Logan knows that voice, that same thing was said to him when he was fifteen.
He turns around, his mouth has dropped open, and he utters one word. 'Kendall?'
The guy removes his hoodie, and to Logan he is the most beautiful human being. His heart swells, and as Kendall opens his arms, he rushes into them, feeling at home.
Kendall is crying, and Logan could feel the tears wet his shoulder.
'Where did you go, Logie?' his voice whispers, and Logan feels like crying also. How could he explain that at the age of sixteen, he was forced to go into therapy and rehab? It had caused Logan to break off all his most important relationships, the most painful being breaking off his relationship with Kendall.
'I'm sorry,' Logan says, because he is.
Kendall pulls back, and smiles widely, wiping away his tears. 'It doesn't matter now, because I found you.'
Logan returns the smile. Maybe dreams do come true after all.
...
They sit on Kendall's couch, near the fire, close, but not touching. Logan's cold fingers are wrapped tightly around a steaming mug of hot cocoa, and he looks over at Kendall with admiration.
'How are you, Kendall?' he asks softly, and Kendall sighs, playing with his fingers.
'I'm fine. I'm a major Broadway producer now, and I kind of expected you to be a famous doctor. What happened?'
Logan looks away, his throat working. Was he ready to talk about this?
'Jett happened.' He whispers, putting down the cup on the centre table.
Kendall frowned, 'Jett?' He says, remembering the high school bully that tormented Logan's life before Kendall came around.
'He... he told me that you'd never like me back, and he called me a lot of names, he forced me into using drugs. I- I don't know... I'm not sure what happened after that, but I just found myself following him to the dealer every day, getting worse with my addiction. Then my mom found out... and she sent me to therapy. Then, when she saw I was trying to get better and failing, she took me out of school, and sent me to rehab.'
Kendall gasps softly. He moves closer to Logan and wraps a hand around the brunet's shoulders. 'Logie, I'm so sorry. Jett is an asshole, you know that. Why'd you listen to him?'
Tears are coming now, and Logan wipes them away furiously. 'I was an orphan, Kendall. For so many years, I'd been hoping for a home, so many people came to the orphanage, there were so many disappointments. I had low self-esteem, and Jett knew that.'
Kendall is silent for a while. 'That Christmas,' he says softly. 'I was going to tell you that I loved you. I was going to tell you that you were the best thing that ever happened to me.'
Logan shakes his head roughly, refusing to hear Kendall. 'I don't believe you,' he whispers, his voice caught in his throat.
'Logie,' Kendall says, and turns the boy's face to his. 'When I saw you there, outside, I didn't know whether to cry or slap you. You looked so cold, and depressed, like you'd given up on life. I didn't want you to run away. Please don't. For so many years I've waited for you to come back. And I still want you.'
I was scared.
Logan remembers all the times he would find himself outside Kendall's old house, or by a telephone, wanting to call him or just see him, but he would get too scared that the blonde hated him.
'Logan,' Kendall whispers again, and this time, he moves in on Logan, slowly, until their lips brush.
A gasp escapes Logan, and he's wanted this since the first day he met Kendall, and he grabs the blond, and press their lips together harshly.
Twenty-two, and he's experiencing his first kiss.
Kendall smiles against his lips, and Logan tastes the salty tears running down his cheek and pulls away quickly.
'Kendall? What's wrong?'
Kendall shakes his head, a smile bursting out. 'I'm just so happy I finally found you.'
With that, Logan launches back at him, he doesn't need to tell Kendall that he will always been there, the words are unspoken, but understood.
Kendall runs a hand through Logan's hair, pulling the brunet closer. In Kendall's embrace, Logan finally feels at home.
'Merry Christmas,' Kendall whispers, kissing Logan on his nose. Logan giggles.
All he's ever wanted was a home for the holidays. After a tough twenty-two years, he finally realizes that home is where the heart is.
And his heart is with Kendall.
He's gotten a home for the holidays.
Well, Merry Christmas everyone! I just wanted to post something for Christmas, so here it is, no matter how sucky or terrible it is :) If you review I'll love you forever :)
Love y'all, and Happy New Year,
Chelzi xo