I do not own Supernatural

***This is mostly from Sam's point of view, with Charlie's thoughts stated aloud as to why Dean allowed Gadreel/Ezekiel to possess Sam. What is stated here is not necessarily TRUTH, but what the characters think. I always understood why Sam was angry with Dean for what happened, but I was always disappointed that Dean didn't have the chance to fully explain himself. I don't think Dean would actually explain himself completely, which is why he doesn't in the show, but I think Charlie understands the brothers well enough to fill in the blanks.

Dean had stormed off after the burst of anger directed at the Book of the Damned. Charlie had turned to Sam, waiting for him to explain, and he had, if only a little. It was the Winchesters' style to release as little information as possible unless prompted. Even Sam, the more open and heart-felt brother was too rough around the edges to bear his soul.

"And you said something to him didn't you?" She asked, when he told her the tale of what Dean had done to once again save his brother's life.

"Yes." Sam affirmed. Then, because he felt the need to defend himself, he tried to explain. "But it was because he had to see how wrong it was. He can't, he couldn't, just keep doing things like that."

A large part of Sam did feel guilty at having told Dean that he would no longer be seen as a brother. That being family was what caused all of their grief, so it was easier to just let that bond go. Which was ridiculous of course, but Dean had hurt him with the decision that he took away from him, and it had been worth a shot to get past all the damage they had done to one another.

But then Dean had died, and how could Sam deny that they were still brothers then? What was worse, seeing the dying light in green eyes as his big brother mocked, "I thought you didn't care," and having to reply, "I lied." And now Dean was a demon, or at least on the verge of being a demon again, and Sam didn't know what to do about that.

After everything that had happened, Sam felt terrible about the harsh words he had spoken to his brother after Dean had come back with the Mark on his arm. A part of him wondered if he had been a little more understanding, if Dean would be in this situation. Actually, Sam knew for a fact if he had just been a tinge more understanding, Dean would have never done what he had done. Dean had only followed after Crowley's farfetched dream because he had thought he had no one else to hunt with.

It was that guilt that caused Sam to feel the need to defend why he hadn't been understanding. Because, what Dean had done had been selfish and it had done more harm than good. By saving Sam, Dean had ruined the chance to lock the demons in Hell where they belonged. He had damned Sam to the horrors of being possessed by an angel that had killed Kevin with his hands. It had just been one too many times that Dean had done wrong because he thought he was doing right.

So, prompted by the caring and patient Charlie, Sam explained exactly what had happened. He told her about the trials, about him shutting the gates of Hell and Cas thinking he was shutting the gates of Heaven, and then he told her about everything that had happened after that, what Dean had done.

At the end Charlie nodded, stared at Sam as if reading his soul, and then spoke softly. "What Dean did was wrong," she started. "You're right in that he had no right to make those choices."

"But?" He asked, because he could hear the argument at the tip of her tongue.

She frowned in response and almost lowered her eyes. "But, I also understand his point of view. I can see why he did what he did, especially when he thought the angel helping was Ezekiel and not Gadreel."

Sam shook his head. It didn't matter that Dean had thought the angel helping them was a sainted angel named Ezekiel. All that mattered was that Dean had manipulated him into saying yes to a possession.

"Try to think about it from Dean's point of view," Charlie still spoke gently, feeling torn in two. The Winchesters were like brothers to her, but they were both bull-headed and dysfunctional. For all the things she had read about them and all the times she had witness herself, she knew better than most others how each trouble was caused equally between the two. "You were going to die…"

"To save the world."

"No," she argued, a little more strongly than before to get her point across. "To just shut away the demons. It wasn't like there wouldn't still be monsters, or murderous humans, or any other terrible thing is this world. All you would have done would have gotten rid of one evil. One out of millions."

Which was sort of why Sam had allowed Dean to convince him to stop in the middle of the trials. Still….

"And Castiel," Charlie continued, "he was only going to shut away another one out of million troubles."

The mention of Cas surprised Sam slightly, because while Cas obviously meant much to the Winchesters, he really didn't have much to do with that particular situation. It wasn't Cas, after all, that Dean had manipulated into being possessed and taking away his decisions.

"So you and Cas were both going to die for the sake of saving the world of two evils and leave Dean alone to fight the rest of those evils by himself. You were going to sacrifice yourself for the world, but Dean was going to lose his entire world."

Sam couldn't respond, which led to Charlie sighed in exasperation.

"You can't be so dense as to see that you and Cas are Dean's entire world. What did you expect him to do at the prospect of losing both of you?"