The Best Part of Me Was Always You.
"You know, it seems like once a week I'm being tied up or something." Chuck Bartowski was not pleased with his current situation. Wrists bound together with zip-tie cuffs, he was sitting on his knees shoulder-to-shoulder with his handler-turned-girlfriend-turned-ex, Sarah Walker. They had just been captured by the Ring operative they were here to apprehend, a David Broderick, a former USN Commander who worked for the DIA. Broderick had turned against the US Government and started selling weapons, particularly in global hotspots such as the Congo and Somalia, using the profits to help fund Ring operations.
He had been in Los Angeles to close on a deal, which was masqueraded as an art exhibition. The CIA picked up on this and dispatched Team Bartowski to attempt to apprehend the man without major incident, but the plan, as it usually does, went awry. They were mingling, trying to get close to their target, when armed men came up to them and ushered them into a loading dock. Shaw, his identity and location compromised form previous missions, ran operational support from Castle. Casey was stationed in an all-too-familiar role as the bartender. Chuck had no idea if either Casey or Shaw knew their current predicament, and was fumbling for a solution.
"Chuck, flash and try to get us out of here." Sarah responded in a barely audible whisper, to which Chuck nodded and attempted to focus. He looked first to the two sentries standing on either side of the door to the rather spacious loading dock, then back to Sarah. He shook his head.
Nothing.
The door swept open and Broderick stepped through, still wearing his tuxedo from the event. He still looked like he belonged in the military: 6'1" with his brown hair kept white-walled and tight.
"Well well. Agents Carmichael and Walker. I've been expecting you two. Ever since Del and Neil disappeared, we knew you had to be here. Not only you, but Shaw too. Where is he?" Broderick pulled out a snub-nosed revolver, aimed it at Chuck, and cocked the hammer. "Where is he!?"
Chuck opened his mouth, closed it, and then opened it again. "I don't know what you're talking about. My girlfriend and I here just appreciate art?" Chuck flashed Broderick a nervous smile.
"Really? You're doing the lying thing? I'll just shoot her." Broderick moved the gun to Sarah, and Chuck could hear himself screaming at Broderick to wait. Then it happened.
Flashes hurt.
A sudden pain erupts in the occipital lobe and the pupils dilate. Surges of memories flood to the forefront, as nerves fire off to his muscles, teaching them muscle memory for moves he had never practiced before. Remembering the martial arts he's become accustomed to using over the past months, the flash ends. The pupils retracted and Chuck refocused on his environment with a renewed vigor.
Chuck leans back slightly, barely noticeable, his right hand sliding up Sarah's thigh until he finds his goal: her knife garter. Grabbing a knife, he swung it out of the holster and through the zip-tie bounding his hands together. As his hands came free, Chuck noticed Broderick swinging the gun back towards him. With a flick of his wrist, Chuck launched the knife at the Commander, the knife promptly embedding itself into Broderick's forearm, staining the tuxedo shirt crimson.
With a scream, Broderick dropped the revolver and it clattered to the ground. Chuck seized the opportunity to drop his shoulder into the guard closet to him, catching him with his arm in his jacket attempting to pull out his weapon. Sarah also leapt from her kneeling position, spinning around and sending a stiletto heel crashing into the other guard's face, sending him down.
As Chuck's guard attempted to recover from the brunt of Chuck's body, he dropped down and kick at the guard's right knee, buckling it and sending the guard down. Sarah used one of her knives to cut her own zip-tie bonds, and held the tip of the blade at Broderick's face.
At that time, Casey comes bursting through the doors, gun drawn and scanning the room for targets. Finding none, Casey holstered his weapon and grabbed Broderick by the nape of the neck. Casey began to push him out of the room, grunting approval towards Chuck. "FBI's already here to clean up these guys and the weapons. Good job."
"Good work, Chuck." Sarah walked towards him, placing a hand on his shoulder.
"Yeah, sure." Chuck said. His eyebrows were furrowed, and his eyes were unfocused, clearly a man deep in thought.
Sarah, confused, just pats his shoulder slightly and turns towards the door, as several FBI agents in tactical gear come in. "Debrief at Cas—" She's cut off by his next words.
"I want out."
Sarah is shocked. "What? Out? Of what?"
"This tuxedo, first. The spy business, second."
"I don't understand? After everything? You're going to throw it all away?"
"Because of everything. I'm leaving."
"Talk to me, Chuck."
"I've tried talking to you. Ever since Prague, every time I do, I get rebuffed or told that spies don't fall in love. I did. I am. I guess I'm not a spy." Chuck brushes past her as he walks out, not looking back.
"Chuck! Chuck!" Sarah calls out. No response. The only noises in the room are the FBI escorting the dazed sentries out in handcuffs.
***
Chuck sat alone in the courtyard of his apartment, enjoying the cool night air and collecting his thoughts. He had told her he wanted out and he truly did. He was right all along: he wasn't a spy. He was just a guy who got caught up in the wrong business for the better part of three years. It wasn't him. He thought he had a shot after downloading the Intersect 2.0 at being different, and finally making a change. He was wrong. He fell back into the same old rut, the same old job at Buy More, the same old tension between him and Walker. Sure, Captain Awesome and Morgan now know his secret, but it ultimately doesn't change anything.
Footsteps ring out on the stone, and Chuck knows who it is. The one person he didn't want to face anymore.
"Chuck?"
Chuck turned his head to gaze upon the most beautiful woman he had ever known. The one who tore his heart out. The one who was supposed to save him after Jill, but he ended up losing her too. He stood up and met her.
"Sarah. Don't try to stop me. For the first time in a long time, I'm doing what I think I need to do."
"I haven't told them, yet. Beckman, Shaw, or Casey. When you didn't show up for the debriefing, I made up an excuse that you were too tired and needed rest. We need to talk."
"Do we? I'm done talking. All I've ever done is talk. Not anymore."
Sarah took his hands into hers. His were decidedly larger, but they felt just right. "Tell me why."
"I can't do it anymore. You heard Broderick, Sarah. He knew we had to be here. They found Castle, and although the Ring's HQ may not be aware of its location, they know about the Buy More. They think Bartowski is a cover for Carmichael. How long before they figure out that it's just the opposite? How long before they figure out about Morgan? Devon? My sister? I have to protect them. I don't think I can do that anymore in Burbank."
"Shaw said we had time to finish this. Chuck, don't give up yet."
"Don't mention Shaw to me. I know, Sarah. I've watched as you've fallen in with Mr. Superman there. You told him your name. The one thing you absolutely refused to tell me over three years. You told him after a couple of weeks? Do you have any idea how much it hurts me to watch that?"
"About as much as it hurt me to watch you leave in Prague. You know we can't be together. You know the emotions interfere with the Intersect."
"Do they? I flashed today after Broderick threatened you. I flashed back in Mexico after Javier threatened you. I flashed when the Ring operatives were going to kill Morgan. I flash when my friends and family are in trouble. You say the Intersect works when I control my emotions. I think you're wrong. The best part of me was always you. I think the Intersect works because of you, Sarah. Not in spite of you. My emotions are what fuel me. It's why I decided to become a spy. To protect the world and to protect you. When I couldn't flash, what was going on? I was watching you fall for Shaw. That emotional turmoil prevented the Intersect from working. But the danger that we are putting my family and friends in isn't worth it anymore. I can't always be there to protect them, and neither can you or Casey or Shaw. The Ring will still be after Shaw, but I think they're after me, too. I can, at the very least, take pressure off of Castle and buy you guys time somewhere far away from here."
"Chuck. You can't. Beckman will be pissed. We're relying on you. I'm relying on you."
"The past three years have been the most exciting and frustrating moments of my life. On the plus side, I fell in love with a beautiful woman and got to live a life of adventure. Before you came into my life, I was a twenty-something college dropout working at a department store. You changed all that, and I can never thank you enough. But it's different now. You said it yourself: I'm changing. I'm becoming a spy, and I don't think I want to be one anymore. I've lost you because of it. I'm putting my family in danger because of it. I can't handle the lies I tell them or to myself anymore. I tried to be a hero, but it's just not who I am. I'm not you or Bryce or Casey or Shaw or anyone else. I'm Charles Irving Bartowski. It's time for it to stop. That's why I have to go."
Sarah wraps his arms around her and pulls herself to his chest, listening to his heavy breathing and throbbing heart. "We can protect Morgan, Ellie, and the rest of your friends. That's what we do. You didn't lose me, Chuck…I still can't get over you. Shaw's just…a rebound. Nothing more. You're the one I love, but I can't be with you right now. But I'll make you a deal. You stay here and help us finish The Ring…and I promise you we'll give us another shot. I owe it to you. I owe it to myself."
Chuck looked down at her as she looked up and they made eye contact. Her eyes were bloodshot with tears.
"Promise?" Chuck asked.
"Promise." Sarah responded, as her lips met his in a soft and tender kiss.
As they part, she breaks the hug by taking a step back. The tears have stopped, but the air is still thick with emotional energy. "I'll see you tomorrow, ok?" She said, giving a slight smile.
Chuck hesitated, then nodded. "Nothing I love more than being at the Buy More bright and early."
Her smile grew and she began to walk away, stopping midway under the arch to look back at Chuck. Chuck gave a slight wave back, and turned to walk back towards his apartment. Maybe he could do this spy thing a bit longer. After The Ring was gone, he'd have his shot at living the life he deserved with the girl he deserved. A life spent with friends and family, not terrorists and rogue agents. A life that they were fighting for. A life that they could possibly die for. He might have the worlds most powerful computer in his head, but that wasn't going to stop him from ultimately being happy, from giving him the thing he longed for the most: Sarah Walker. After everything, she was the why he did what he did. She was always the best part of him. Always.