Set in a post-Tokyo, pre-Infinity universe.

Edited!

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It was at times like this that Sakura wondered if Syaoran had ever been something more to her. It was the time she questioned the blanks and gaps in her memories the most because watching him stirred something deep inside. The strange feeling overwhelmed the frustration she usually felt towards him—the frustration born of not truly knowing which Syaoran was most precious to her—and allowed it to give way to something softer, warmer.

Sakura watched him, distantly, warily, half-hiding behind Fai's long pale body.

Syaoran was sparring lightly with Kurogane, but he was distracted by something she couldn't understand. Maybe the impending storm or the fact that they were in a new world to search for her feather, but then why would he keep glancing her way? Fai squeezed her shoulder and she jolted guiltily, instantly averting her jade-green eyes from the sparring companions to the dusty ground of the inn's courtyard.

"Sakura-chan, is something bothering you?" Fai asked and Mokona squirmed out of his jacket to perch on the magician's shoulder, watching them both.

"No!" She said a little too quickly and then stumbled over her words searching for a plausible excuse. "I was just… um…" Um, what? I was staring at Syaoran because I feel something inside me that I can't explain when he's around? Yeah, as if she could tell Fai that.

Fai smiled softly. "It's about Syaoran-kun, I assume," he said and then shooed Mokona off his shoulder for a more private conversation with the desert princess. Mokona bounded off without question—that was the bond the little creature had with the four travelers—total trust. "This one or the other one, may I ask?"

Sakura looked at her hands which she had fisted in the reddish cloth of her skirt. "I… I don't… I don't really know, anymore, Fai-san," she mumbled at the ground. "Sometimes, I think he may really… be the real Syaoran-kun. I wonder if I got them confused, somehow… while I was unconscious so much happened."

Fai touched the patch over his eye in simple reflex, but Sakura caught the movement and turned her face away as if it pained her to see the wound. That only led her eyes on the path to the brace on her leg. Her leg still ached and throbbed and dragged alongside her, broken beyond repair.

"The Syaoran-kun I know… he wouldn't have left me like that. He would have stayed… if I had asked and I did, but…" Her voice grew choked, pained, and she clenched her hands at her chest. Maybe she could keep the pieces of her broken heart together that way—if she held on tight enough, if she never let the pieces go.

"Sakura-chan," Fai whispered and wrapped his long arms around her tightly, holding her against the warmth of his body. Her slender frame shook with sobs, but she refused to let the tears fall. Fai turned away from the sparring pair to shield her and let her sob until she was shivering weakly. Then, he lifted her gently and carried her into the inn where they were staying. Overhead, the darkened bruised-black sky trembled with storm clouds.

…

"Kurogane-san?" Syaoran asked as the sword swept by scant inches from his torso, tearing his shirt but missing his flesh. "Do you think Sakura, I mean, the princess hates me now?"

Kurogane ducked easily under a lunge and parried it aside. The kid was distracted and sparring with him like with was too easy to even be a workout. "She doesn't have it in her to hate anybody, kid. I wouldn't worry about it too much. She'll come around if you give her some more time," the warrior snapped and made a lazy swipe at Syaoran's thigh. "She's been through a lot since you showed up. We tend to forget it, but that Syaoran was her anchor and now he's gone—betrayed her carelessly."

Syaoran leaped back and landed in a crouch with his sword extended out in front of him. There was a whirl of smoke around his hands, reaching down the curve of the blade, and a puff of crimson flame. Then, the sword was gone—sheathed inside his body again. "Shall we call it a tie, Kurogane-san?"

"Running scared because you know I had you beat, kid?" Kurogane mumbled and sheathed the sword at his side with a huff.

Syaoran shook his head. "Not so much, but the princess and Fai have gone inside. I want to make sure everything's okay. If everything's fine, then we can continue if you like," he said and cast a glance at the towering brownstone inn. The windows glowed with warm amber light and the scent of cooking meat drifted from a few open windows.

Kurogane snorted. "You worry too much, kid," he muttered. "If anything happened, we'd hear it from the magician—some kind of pathetic girlish shriek—and that white pork bun would come crying to one of us to save the day."

Syaoran stared into the lengthening shadows with something akin to worry until Kurogane prodded the kid in the back with the hilt of his sheathed sword and steered him into the inn. "Let's go, you'll make a better bodyguard if you're actually near the one you're guarding," Kurogane grumbled in a hushed tone while Syaoran waved to the innkeeper with that false smile on his face.

"Right," Syaoran mumbled once they were in the hallway leading to their room.

…

Syaoran opened the door to the room he was going to share with the princess with shaking hands. He had half-turned the knob when he almost decided to ask Fai to switch beds with him. He would rather bunk with Kurogane and barely sleep because he was worried about the princess than to sleep beside her knowing that he made her uncomfortable. Don't be ridiculous, he thought angrily to himself and turned the knob quickly before he lost his acquired nerve.

The room was sparsely furnished with two narrow beds bolted to the floor, a single low dresser, and a big hearth with a fire stacked high in the grate. The fire was blazing, hot enough to remove the chill from the drafty room but not really heat it. Fai was sitting on the edge of the princess's bed, gently brushing the caramel-colored hair from her cheeks with a sad smile on his pale face. Her eyes were red-rimmed and her face was streaked, tear-stained. She had been crying.

Syaoran timidly approached her bedside and knelt next to Fai's legs with his fingers inches from the exposed skin of her wrist. "Fai-san is the princess alright?" he asked quietly.

"Of course," Fai whispered. "She's sleeping now. She was very tired."

Sakura shifted and moaned in her sleep, reaching out with her hands until she brushed Syaoran's warm skin. She whimpered and jerked back as if stung, tossing her head. Her throat worked furiously and a whimper escaped her parted lips. Tears as sparkling as crystals slipped under her lashes, crawled down her face, and came to rest beneath the curve of her jaw. "Syao… no… please…" she whispered and her hands grasped at the sheets in tight fists as she tossed about on the bed, trapped in the throes of a nightmare.

Fai didn't wake her.

Syaoran stumbled quickly back, feeling sick, and sat on the edge of his narrow bed. Fai gazed at the boy sadly, watching as Syaoran clenched and unclenched his fists. The flash of his throat as he breathed appeared strained, as if it hurt to even live.

"Syaoran-kun, she's only dreaming," Fai offered. "Just a nightmare…"

For a long time, Syaoran didn't say anything, just stared at the floor with his throat working furiously as he swallowed and breathed. He couldn't tear his eyes from the floor as if he saw something terrible lurking in the woodwork. Then, in a strangled voice, he whispered, "But I'm her nightmare…"

Fai tried to touch Syaoran's shoulder, but he jerked viciously away.

"No! No, don't… don't touch me…" Syaoran whispered.

"Syaoran-kun…" Fai didn't try to touch the young man again, but tried to implore Syaoran with the emotions in his one remaining magical blue eye, but he could feel Syaoran's gaze only on the black patch that covered his gouged-out eye.

"Everything… everything that happens to you," Syaoran paused and laughed bitterly, "it's all my fault, isn't it?" He dug his nails into his palms. "If I hadn't showed up when I did in Tokyo, the water would have been fine and Sakura never would have paid Yuuko-san's price. She never would have been hurt! Kurogane-san would have saved you from my image without me charging in to help. In the ruins, if I hadn't pulled Sakura down then none of this would ever have happened! From the very beginning, it's all been my fault! It's always been my fault!"

Fai stood up quickly, grasped the boy by his shoulders, and shook him harshly. "Stop it! Just stop it! You'll only hurt yourself!" He demanded and rattled Syaoran around until he was quite sure he had his complete attention. "You listen to me, Syaoran-kun. It's all in the past now. Even if you wanted to, you couldn't change anything that happened to any of us." Fai pulled Syaoran to him and pressed him into a hug. "You've suffered for this future too. I'd hate to think about it, but I'm sure in the long-run, you'll suffer the most," Fai paused and rubbed Syaoran's back with one hand. "Listen to me, Syaoran-kun. No one is blaming you. None of this is your fault… it's okay."

Syaoran's shoulders heaved and he weakly pushed at Fai until the magician released him from the comforting embrace. He hid his eyes behind chocolate bangs, ashamed. "I'm sor—" he paused and looked up at Fai. "Thank you, Fai-san," he whispered.

Fai smiled softly. "You're welcome, Syaoran-kun," he said and stood up. He brushed his pants off absentmindedly as if some speck of dirt marred the white cloth. "It's going to be very cold tonight. I think the princess is going to need more warmth than a fire alone." He stared at Syaoran for a moment and then looked away. "I think… you spend so much time trying to be strong for Sakura-chan, but what she really needs is for you to be like you were before. She needs you—the real you, not the strong inhuman version. She needs you to talk to her, to smile, to just… be human." Fai began to close the door behind him with the parting whisper, "Just think about that, Syaoran-kun. Stay with her tonight."

Syaoran fell heavily on his knees at Sakura's bedside and gently brushed some crystal tears from her cheek. She moaned and craned her neck to press her cheek against his palm. He allowed his fingers to push up through her hair and cup the curve of her jaw, relishing the feeling of warm soft skin. He leaned his head on his free hand, resting against the bed and watching Sakura as she restlessly slept. When she whimpered and began to cry again, he tried to pull away, but she rolled over and clutched his hand tightly.

"No, please," Sakura sobbed quietly. "Please, don't go…"

"Princess," he whispered.

At this point, he decided it would be best to wake her and see if Fai could help. Syaoran brushed her hair back from her face and smoothed the tears away. Then, he took a deep breath to steel himself for whatever terrible expression he would see in her beautiful green eyes directed at him and shook her shoulders gently. She sat up immediately, a strangled cry trapped in her throat, pressing against him and wrapping her arms around him. He tried to push her away, but she held on tighter and her frame shook with whimpers.

"No, please…"

"Hime, it's me."

"Please, don't go… stay with me, please… Syao…"

His heart clenched in his chest, turned cold—turned to stone and ceased to beat. It wasn't him she wanted.

"Sakura-hime, you have to let go."

"No…" She gripped the back of his shirt, digging her nails into him unintentionally. She buried her face into the side of his neck and her lips pressed desperately against his throat. "Please, don't… they aren't important anymore… just stay with me…"

She was hurting him. Her lips only brushed his skin, but it wasn't his skin. He thought the feather-soft kiss was enough to make him bleed; she may have well have been biting him.

"Sakura-hime," he hissed between his teeth. "Let. Go." And he pushed her away forcefully.

Her beautiful eyes snapped open, emerald misty with the throes of exhaustion and sleep and the vestiges of her nightmare of what happened in Tokyo. Then, the light filled them again and she quickly snapped her head to the side. "Is something wrong?" she asked quietly and he watched her small scarred hands fist in the sheets.

Yes, you're killing me.

"No, nothing." He said shortly, staring at the wall beyond her head. "You were crying out in your sleep. I thought it best to wake you. Do you want me to get Fai-san or would you like me to leave?" He started to get up because he knew she wouldn't want him there.

But she inhaled sharply and grabbed his hands before he could even rise from the bed. There was true fear in her jade eyes, pure unadulterated terror. "No…" she whispered hoarsely. "Please, don't go… please, don't leave me…"

"Hime?"

"Please, don't go… please…"

Syaoran sat down on the edge of the bed and she scooted over to make room for him, still gripping his hand as if he would vanish the moment she let go. Sakura couldn't take her eyes off his face, couldn't stop staring at the tenderness in his eyes.

She didn't even feel her other hand move to touch him.

Her touch started at his hand, outlining the bones in his fingers and wrist, and ran slowly up his forearm as if to memorize the muscles beneath his pale skin. At his shoulder, her fingers worked against the joint and then massaged the junction of his neck. She touched his throat, wrapped her fingers around it and measured his pulse where it beat in his jugular just beneath the skin. Then, she traced his face—up the curve of his jaw, over the shell of his ear, across his forehead, down his nose, and finally dragging painfully slow on his lips. She leaned forward and rested her forehead on his shoulder, still clutching his hand. She lowered her wandering arm and wrapped it around his narrow waist as if to pull him closer, but lacked the strength.

"Stay…" she whispered into his skin.

"Hime?" He enveloped her in his arms, holding her close, safe. She smelled of flowers and rain and the same soap that his clothes smelled of. He buried his face in her hair and sighed deeply. "It's okay, I'll never leave you."

But this was wrong, she was distressed. He should go get Fai from the other room and have the magician and Mokona comfort her. But… he couldn't bear to let her go, not right now, not now that she needed him—wanted him…

"She needs you—the real you, not the strong inhuman version. She needs you to talk to her, to smile, to just… be human." Fai-san had told him.

He pressed her closer and tried to urge her silently to lie down against the pillows but she was unwilling to let him go. He loosened her hold on him, toed off his boots, and laid her back against the bed before pressing lightly against her side and intertwining their fingers together between them. She sighed and gripped his shirt.

"You'll stay, I'm glad…"

"Forever, Sakura-hime," he whispered.

Morning's light would find them curled up in Sakura's bed, facing each other. Syaoran held Sakura tenderly, close, with his face bent into her hair while Sakura gripped his shirt and pressed as close as she could to him as if to share his body. Between them, elbows bent so they rested under Sakura's chin, were their twined hands.

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Drop a review and let me know what you think! Are the characters way out of character? Does everybody hate Sakura? Think I torture Syaoran way too much (but it's because he's so easy to be mean to, though I always make sure to give him a happy ending!)? Are permanently disgusted and can no longer even watch Tsubasa thanks to me? Loved it? Hated it? (Flames will be used to roast marshmallows and weenies!) Think I need to do more editing before I post chapters? Post to slow? Yada, yada, yada…

Second, check out my first ORIGINAL NOVEL! The Breaking of Poisonwood by Paradise Avenger. (Summary: People were dead. When Skye Davis bought me at a slave auction as a birthday present for his brother, I had no idea what my new life was going to be like, but I had never expected this. It all started when Venus de Luna was killed and I was to take her place, to become the new savior… Then, bad things happened and some people died. In the heart of the earth, we discovered the ancient being that Frank Davis had found and created and used to his advantage. The Poisonwood—)

Questions, comments, concerns?