This is something I started after wanting to do a severely depressed Courtney. I know she was kind of like this in the show, but this is still different. Just read and find out. Note: This is one of a few ideas I'm starting. It'll be tough juggling them all but if I do it right it'll be fun. Two of them are shortish, another long. You'll just have to wait and see the coupling.
It was midnight, at least that's what she figured. It couldn't have been earlier, this much she was sure of because she'd been sitting out here far to long for that. Ever since their return to Camp Wawanakwa the shade of the tree had been her source of comfort, a security blanket if you will. The darkness gave her a sense of belonging, like her life wasn't the only thing that was suddenly black and empty. It matched the feeling in the pit of her stomach and the depths of her shattered heart. It…helped. It was all she had since no one else was willing to give her anything to wrap her hands around in order to escape the trap of ill fated love. No one. Not Gwen, not Duncan, not Sierra, Heather, or even Bridgette. All of the selfish bastards were either fully on Gwen's side, like Duncan, Cody, and Trent, or just didn't care, like Heather, Sierra, and basically everyone else. It was unfair to her and her onyx eyes. Why did they do this to her? Why couldn't at least one person be on her side? Didn't they see that the true victim was sitting right here, her whole life in shambles? Gwen needed no sympathy nor Duncan. So why? Why was Courtney all alone in this hellish situation?
She sucked in a sharp breathe now, meant to keep the sobs at bay which had been plaguing her ever since the day she'd found out. The day the world came to a sudden and unexpected halt, throwing her for the biggest loop she'd ever experienced. The real kicker to this was that there had been a time before him where she'd mocked any and everyone who showed the slightest signs of tearing up over a messy breakup. She'd laugh and jeer with her tiny group of straight A friends, insisting that if she were ever to fall in love during high school or even after that she'd never let the end break her as it did all the other foolish girls. She'd stay strong as a brick wall. It was a promise they all made. And yet here she was now, broken into a million and one bite size pieces because of something as insignificant as a boy. Now she understood those girls. She got the pain they must have suffered through for weeks and some even months after. And most of all she wished she'd never bashed them for their reactions. It was wrong. So very wrong indeed.
As her trail of thoughts wandered closer and closer to her life before and consequently the life she'd imagined having with Duncan after this she fell further into herself, pulling her knees up close to her chest so she could bury her face in them. Her sobs then resurfaced to their fullest extent. They racked her fragile body with an awful force, tears welling in her eyes shortly after. It didn't help when a string of memories suddenly hit her harder then ever before.
She'd just ran out of the cabin, leaning far over the railing of the stairs leading to the grounds to wretch. It went on for a few seconds, more coming out then she expected to, but it soon stopped, leaving a putrid taste and smell in her nose and mouth. The only thing that made it better was the adrenaline rush left from earlier and the presence of her favorite person.
"So the princess has a dark side." he chuckled, coming to a halt at her side.
"Ok. That was so gross." she turned in his direction. "But it was like…once I did something bad it was so much fun I just wanted more!" she exclaimed, positioning her hands so that she looked as if she were either grasping something or about to claw at someone. Of coarse it was neither for she held nothing and was far to elated for the latter, her eyes shining brightly, mouth curved into a devious smirk similar to those Duncan had given her many times up to this point.
"Well you could always give me that kiss." he paused as he held her chin between his thumb and finger, tempting her to do as he wanted. "That'd be pretty bad." He knew she wanted to, it was merely a matter of will power. And at the moment she was seriously unstable, willing to do anything that gave her that rush she now desperately craved.
She snorted, pulling back from his touch despite the fuzzy feeling it gave her. "You're still not my type." she insisted in a rather flirty manner, rubbing his mohawk playfully.
"Fine." he said with confidence, turning away from her ever so slightly as if to tell her that if she didn't act soon she'd lose out on him. "Enjoy a peanut butter less life." he was even looking away from her as if this would make the deal more solid.
"Thanks." she too turned away from him slightly, looking his opposite direction as she spoke. "Enjoy prison." she added, looking back at him with her sweet onyx eyes.
He was slightly alarmed by her calm and somewhat serious demeanor, but he quickly got over it upon realizing this was her way of playing back. "I will." he said seductively, leaning back against her in the process.
The next moment was what made them one. She turned about, cupping his face in her hands and drew him close, close enough to kiss. Her lips pressed gently up against his, that fuzzy feeling of hers intensifying ten fold. She was brimming with a passion that she'd previously thought to be nothing more then a fantasy girls at school created to feel good about themselves. Yet it was now clear to her it was so very real. She was so into the moment. She never wanted it to end.
Duncan was shocked at her sudden action, eyes wide, but quickly lost the feeling to an even greater one. The feeling of love. He closed his eyes and allowed this feeling to flow through him much as it was with Courtney. It was more then he'd ever felt before and he truly believed that he was in love, real love. Not a fling or lust or something small and temporary. This was the real deal. And he never wanted this feeling to end.
The only reason Courtney broke the kiss was because as she opened her eyes she saw that Geoff and Dj were walking over. Despite the fact she'd finally given in to her powerful feelings she was still unsure of how everyone else would react. And as such she slowly walked off in the opposite direction, a smug smirk present as she stared back at punk boy who was just as in love as she was.
Duncan looked dreamily after the beautiful brunette, infatuated smile spreading clear across his face. He didn't want her to slip away like this, and yet he knew he had to. For now. But tomorrow she'd be his again, by his side for as long as possible.
The next memory that followed wasn't as close to her heart, yet it mattered to her to a great level. It was the first time she'd seen Duncan since she'd been eliminated by Harold. And she'd been elated.
The boat of losers strode up to the dock of where all those deemed losers resided. She wanted to say she hoped it would be him, but at this point, after so many let downs, she'd practically given up on that notion. He'd made it so far that she figured she'd only see him on that final day as he fought it out for that hundred thousand dollar case. And even then it wouldn't be very satisfying. He'd get all caught up in the thrill of victory, forgetting about her and what they'd shared so long ago on the island. At least she knew that was how it'd go if she were him. So when the person stepped out of the boat her heart nearly stopped. He wore a black t-short with a picture of a faded skull on the front, baggy jeans a lighter shade of the black, his hair was jet black and mohawk lime green, and last but not least his teal colored eyes looked out over the area. "Duncan…" she breathed, that fluttery feeling from back before they'd kissed resurfacing. She was falling in love all over again.
He didn't see her at first, busy taking in this scene which he had never known existed before this moment. And it obviously was giving him juxtaposing feelings. He loved how this was so wonderful awesome, like what he'd signed up for, but he was pissed because if he'd known about this from the start he would never have tried so hard. And it was the latter emotion that showed on his face. His eyes were narrowed, brow pressed far down to strengthen the effect, mouth curved into a deep frown, and fists clenched. Only as he laid eyes on his girlfriend did it all vanish. The irritation, hate, anger, everything of the like was suddenly lifted away to be replaced by a buzzy feeling. He associated it with the way he felt after having to much coffee, only ten million times better. "Princess!" he exclaimed, rushing over to where she stood at the end of the dock to scoop her up into his warm embrace. "I've missed you." he said softer so as not to draw to much attention to his softer side.
"Oh, Duncan. Me too." she cooed even softer then he did, tears of happiness filling her eyes. "It was awful being here on my own." she added, sighing with content.
"At least you had all this." he murmured, releasing her and moving back a step to look down into her hypnotizing eyes. "I had nothing but freaks, psychos, and bad food." he smirked lightly, hoping for a laugh or some sign of enjoyment.
She chuckled, moving her hand to her mouth. "Well, if you'd won you wouldn't be saying that."
He thought about this a moment before answering. "No. It still wouldn't make up for the time I lost without you." he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, hoping for a kiss like she'd given before.
She rolled her eyes. "Drama king. This isn't some sappy movie. I'm not going to suddenly kiss you because you give me some crappy lines." she blew at the hair which had fallen into her eyes.
"Really? Why not?" he half whined, slumping noticeably.
She smiled brightly. "I don't go for saps. I only like hardcore jackasses who can't follow a rule to save their lives." she smirked deviously, licking her lips.
He stared blankly at her for a moment, confused by her sudden change in demeanor. But it didn't take long for him to realize that he liked this just fine. Not having to pretend to be someone he wasn't for a girl he'd probably end up losing anyway worked great. "Well here I am."
She made a purring noise a half second before leaping at him, latching her arms around his neck as she locked lips with the punk. She was even pressing her body up against his just because she felt like it. It made her feel bad, giving her the biggest rush since that night weeks before. It was love.
Duncan fell into her kiss, kissing back with equal intensity, wrapping his arms tight around the girl's tiny waist. The only thing he wished to make this better was for her shirt to be like Heather's so that he might touch smooth skin instead of her rough clothes. But you can't have everything. And as such he accepted this as it was. It was a perfect moment with his perfect girl.
She moaned loudly, lip quivering uncontrollably much like the rest of her body. She just wanted the pain to end. Why wouldn't it go away? Or why not have it ebb at least a little, enough for her to think straight. But no. It hadn't happened yet and wouldn't happen for what she felt would be forever. Then another memory surfaced, the worst yet.
It was during total drama action now. She'd returned not long ago thanks to her magnificent skills with lawyers and such. They, the girls, were in their trailer. Most were playing a game of cards, even Heather as odd as that sounds. Only not Courtney. She was sitting on the window sill, looking out at the full moon and the stars that surrounded it. She was deep in thought about Duncan and all he'd been up to while she was gone. Namely the things concerning Gwen. She made to scowl at the thought of her yet for some reason the expression that resulted was the exact opposite, it was that of pure sadness. Her lip quivered, the never before seen clip of the delinquent and Goth playing over and over again in her mind. Sure both of them had vehemently denied any feelings for the other, but she couldn't help but feel worried and unsure of them and her so called relationship with Duncan. She wondered if it could even be called that any more. Was there anything left them? "
Courtney…?" a voice came to her. She glanced back in the direction of the sound. It was Beth. "Don't you wanna play?" she said with innocent. Although Courtney knew that she was only feigning innocence. She really couldn't stand Courtney.
"No!" the rest of the girl's reacted immediately, saying so with unwavering confidence. "She can go sulk by herself." Leshawna added, being the voice of the group. "Her and her bag of rules don't belong here." she scowled darkly over at the poor girl in the window.
Courtney looked sadly over into Leshawna's dark brown eyes, hoping to find a smidgen of a lie in their depths. There was none. So begrudgingly she pushed off of the sill, saying to Beth, "I'm going for a walk anyway." she shrugged. "Have fun." and so she headed out the door at a quickened pace, breaking into a run once the door had closed behind her. She'd never admit it, but the way they treated her like an outsider hurt her deeply. She had never really belonged in normal life, so being proven to have no place in this game aside from villain struck a nerve. Only as she reached a tree far from the trailer did she cease her running and collapse beneath it, gasping for breath she feared she might never get back. It made it harder to do this as sobs forced their way out of her throat, nearly choking her.
She was to consumed with her predicament to notice but she had found her way over a foot or so from the boy's trailer. So when the sound of a door slamming echoed in the cool night air she jerked her head up immediately, breathing elevated further. She was holding onto her chest too, a panic attack creeping up on her. "G-Go away!" she cried, bringing her knees up closer to her.
A silence followed, but it was a brief one. "Courtney?" came the familiar sound of Duncan's smooth yet simultaneously concerned voice. "Is that you?" she saw him now, he was looking all about himself in order to locate her, but she didn't want to be found. She didn't want him to see her cry, no one ever had. But of coarse with his persistence he easily found her up against the tree residing next to the trailer. He sighed. "…Courtney…"
She frowned deeply up at him, eyes like daggers penetrating his very soul. If only they'd been real daggers. Then he might've gotten the message and left her be.
"Princess, what's wrong?" he said softly, eyes etched with confusion and pain. "Are you…crying…?" he spit out in disbelief, kneeling down beside her.
This made her feeling of bitter sadness even worse. He now knew she was weak, no where near as strong as she pretended to be. He wouldn't want her anymore. She knew it. "No."
"What happened?" he prodded, laying a hand on her shaking shoulder. "You can tell me."
She tentatively looked back at him, wiping the fresh tears from her face. "Nothing." she still wasn't ready to admit anything was getting to her.
He frowned lightly. "Courtney." his voice was stern.
She whimpered lightly, not liking the change in his tone. "They hate me." she moaned. "I-I'm…all alone." she thrust her head into her wet hands, crying harder.
His eyes grew wide at her words. He hadn't thought how people felt about her bothered her in any way. He swallowed hard. "That all?" he murmured, reverting back to that gentle tone of his which could pry anything from anyone he pleased as long as he tried hard enough.
"And…and Gwen…" she finally spoke what she'd held inside since the beginning of total drama action no matter that it was against her better judgment.
"Gwen?" he blinked, confusion hidden by the clouds that recently moved over the moon, shrouding the world in darkness. "Why?"
She sniffled, pulling her head away from her hands. "You're in love with her." a pause. "You must be. You barely pay attention to me anymore. And-And I saw that clip. You two were-w-were flirting so much." she threw her head down away from him, shaking.
He offered a pained smile as condolence. "You're crazy sometimes, you know that right?" he chuckled lamely. "I'm not in love with her." she looked back up with traces of uncertainty, prompting Duncan to go on. "She's my best friend. That's all." his smiled brightened a bit, his hope for her to believe him and thus calm down getting the best of his expression.
She sucked in a sob. "Promise…?"
He draped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close enough so that their bodies touched. "I promise princess. No one will ever take your place." he placed a soft kiss on her forehead, rubbing his cheek against hers shortly after that.
She smiled a small smile then, content with this answer she'd gotten despite the fact her favor with the others wouldn't change at all after this. At least she could say she had Duncan still. He would never let her down. She was sure of this at least. She was so sure that she was brave enough to move a hand down to his free one, clasping it tightly as she whispered. "I love you…"
He smirked. "Love ya too babe." he responded with equal, if not more, affection. "You're my princess."
That was it. She couldn't take another wretched memory such as this. They had to stop. Something had to change. So for lack of a better action she banged her head back against the tree she rested on a couple of times until she successful quieted her tears to focus on the pain that was now in her head. Still, it was a temporary fix. A minute after, once the pain subsided, the emotional hurt crept back on her. The tears streamed down her brown freckled face faster then before. It almost made her wish she hadn't been so foolish as to hurt herself in the first place. And it didn't help when she saw a pair walk by not far from her.
She perked ever so slightly, focusing in on them. They were laughing with one another, a joke more then likely being the cause, the girl had her head resting on the shoulder of the other and their hands were clasped together. This in itself was bad enough, so once she made out who they were with the help of the moon's light it only increased her despair. It was the two people she wanted desperately to forget and never see for the rest of her life. It was Duncan and Gwen. She hadn't recognized them immediately because they had changed. Duncan no longer wore his skull t-shirt, but a thin muscle shirt, his once black jeans were now black shorts, but his piercings remained. Although his mohawk was no longer green it was…teal? Courtney shook with fury at this revelation. He changed for her! Why not this poor girl looking on? She didn't want to discover anything else like this yet couldn't keep herself from looking further. Upon another glance she noticed that the tattoo they had gotten together had been altered slightly. No longer was it a simple heart, but inside it now said 'GxD'. She caught her breath then, that god awful feeling of ultimate betrayal hitting her as it had back in total drama world tour. But she kept it together this time. She wanted to see Gwen. Gwen still had that gaudy skirt of hers on, color and all, her sandals the same also, she had a matching tattoo too, but it was her shirt that caught Courtney by surprise. It was Duncan's. That familiar black cotton with the simple skull which she remembered touching so often, sometimes with care other times roughly to pull him close was touching another girls skin.
Courtney felt herself slipping back down a giant spiral. She covered her mouth, holding her sobs in in as a next to last resort. How could he…? She'd been his everything, had she not? He'd told her over and over that she had no reason to worry her pretty little head. So why now had everything changed so much? Now he barely acknowledged her existence, going so far as to give his shirt to another. She whined rather loudly, accidentally catching the pairs attention.
They looked over at her, a brow raised on each of their faces, eyes scrunched in semi confusion. "Isn't that Courtney?" Gwen muttered softly, monitoring Duncan's response carefully. He'd cheated once. He could very well do it again.
He snorted, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, but whatever man." he lifted an arm in the air in a shrug of the sorts. "I don't care what she does as long as she doesn't mess with my pasty." he snickered.
Gwen stared over at Courtney a moment more, regretful of how this whole mess worked out and sorry for breaking her heart. Of course Duncan wouldn't get it. He was a guy. Guys didn't have the same fragile heart as girls did. Heartbreak was basically a foreign concept. But Gwen didn't tell him that. It was an unimportant fact of life that would only work to screw with what they had with each other. Still, she wished she had apologized when she had the chance to salvage there barely there friendship. It was only after her mini guilty trip that she laughed softly, replying sweetly, "Yeah, that's right Dunkie." she smiled brightly up at him.
He laughed right back, pulling her in for a gentle kiss on the lips.
Courtney couldn't bear watching this crap without breaking into tears for the umpteenth time. "D-Duncan…" she sobbed so that only she could hear. "W-Why do you hate me…?"
They had vanished from her peripheral vision a minute so after giggling at their sick nicknames, bringing Courtney little solace. She was cracked. Nothing helped. Or so she thought. Just beyond her view stood a boy. He had watched her nearly all day, taking in every little detail of her appearance as well as her reactions toward everything. As such he'd witnessed her mental breakdown once Duncan and Gwen passed, getting the final piece to the complex puzzle that was Courtney. "Hello Courtney." he said smoothly, moving closer to lean up against the tree she resided under.
Courtney was alarmed by the presence of another, tentatively looking up to meet the emerald green eyes of Alejandro. "W-What do you want?" she stuttered, onyx eyes full of distrust.
Alejandro smirked down at her. She was so incredibly vulnerable and different from total drama world tour. Her eyes that always held a spark were dull, her dark skin drained of most life, and clothes strangely different from her usual attire, a shirt of black with white collar rime and white sleeves, pants now pure white shorts. She reminded him of a creepy clown. However her hair was what he noticed most. The once slick brown hair was dirty, greasy, and sticking up at all angles, no longer well kept like it had always been before. "Nothing amor." he said in that sweet tone he used on all girls he was bent o screwing with as he bent down to the ground next to her, eyes level.
She glared pitifully back, barely able to keep herself from using his shoulder to cry on. "Then g-go away." she said instead.
"Come now. Don't push me away. I only wish to help."
"I don't want it." a pause, more so an existential break off so as to keep her control. "Help someone…else." she managed without her tone wavering.
"Amor…" he whispered. "I know how you feel." she looked skeptical. "Heather betrayed me much like Duncan did to you."
She thrust her head down, away from his devious gaze. She was choking back sobs, body shaking in response.
The smallest of frowns found its way onto Alejandro's perfect lips, eyes showing a microsecond of true sadness. "Don't cry." he cooed. "It doesn't have to hurt." he moved his arm around her so that his hand laid on her shoulder.
She froze, feeling as if she were back in that moment in total drama action when Duncan had been the one comforting her delicate heart. "N-No…" she muttered absent mindedly, not meaning for it to have any meaning for this conversation with Alejandro. Are you crying?" she could hear Duncan's voice echo in her mind. She's only my best friend. She whimpered. "You don't understand!" she snapped. "It's not the same!" venom dripped from her words and she jerked out of his loose hold. "He cheated on me! Cheated!" a tear slipped down her stained face. "Nothing can compare…!" then she did the strangest thing. After glaring with the utmost disdain for what felt like forever for both of the she practically threw herself at him. Her arms latched around his neck, head buried deep in his crimson shirt. "I-It was awful. S-So…" she trailed off.
"Yeah. Nothing can compare." he sighed lightly, moving a hand to the back of her head to rub it gently, all the while thinking back to that day on the volcano. He felt like she'd cheated on him there, in a sense. "And I'm truly sorry for that. You didn't deserve such a wrong, no matter what."
"I-I wish Duncan was-was…considerate. He's such a-a asshole." she let it all out. "I w-wish he was like you. You…you're so…different." she nuzzled him lightly.
He was a bit shocked by her sudden display of such deep emotion, but didn't complain. She was a sight to behold after all. So why not cherish such a moment as this, especially when it was with one who usually would sooner kill you. "Thanks." a pause. "You're different too."
She was being pulled into his words. She slowly looked back up to meet his now soft gaze, convulsions ceasing, sobs growing less frequent, the only thing that remained was the trail of tears on her face. There was even a slight smile on her lips. "I know." was all she came up with. No hate, no screams, just…she knew. "I'm sorry too…for you."
"What would you say…if I said…" He leaned closer. "…I know a way for the pain to go away." he hissed in her ear, lightly nuzzling her forehead.
In the end this was what got her. For this was what she so desperately had been searching for since Greece. "Really?" she gasped, swallowing a lump in her throat. She was putting all her faith in this.
"Yes." he nodded. "It's never failed me before." he insisted, a sinister look flashing in his eyes.
Her eyes grew wide, small smile transforming into a full fledged grin. She was becoming a child again. "What is it?" she was eager.
"Revenge." the word slipped off his tongue like it was all he ever said. It came so natural, not a trace of doubt or regret at what the outcome could be for those on the receiving end.
"Alejandroooooo!" Heather's high pitched scream cam from back at the cabins.
He cackled at Heather's cry. "See?" he pressed a minute after. "I never fell as good as afterwards. It's a rush."
"Revenge…" she said it, trying out the feel of the word. She let a hand slip from Alejandro's neck in order to tap her chin thoughtfully. "How?"
"Anything. All it has to do is piss them off or maybe even…hurt?" he offered, smirking with immense pleasure down at the girl before him.
She smirked right back, eyes narrowing into near slits, a fire dancing in them that had long been absent. She was slowly regaining herself. All that was left now was the creation and execution of it. And she knew it'd be perfect. After all, she was perfect. "Yes." she hissed. "Yes…it will hurt a lot."
"As much as they hurt you?" he pressed, getting a sick thrill out of watching her criminal mind at work. He was into this that he unconsciously brought a hand to her face, pulling her slightly closer.
"No." she hesitated. "More."
Oh no! What could Courtney be planning? And sorry if the point of view is wish-washy, it's difficult for me to do pov's not first person. So be nice about that. lol But feel free to tell me that my characterization is ooc. I really want to work on that! If it isn't then...yay! Plz review! :D