Ask Mercy Not of Me
By Rhino7
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. This story is mine. So this is it, the first chapter of the story that has been plaguing my imagination for the last six months. I've been writing on and off of this first chapter for weeks, and I'm still not satisfied with it. But, I don't think I can write another, better draft, so here it is.
Fear not, I accept that this chapter is short. It was only about 7 or 8 pages long on Microsoft Word. I promise the rest of the chapters will be at least 10 to 15 pages long. This is just the stage setting. Also, for those who have read Kissing and the Art of Flirting with Idiots, kindly disregard that while reading this. Yes, it does start out as SoKai, but…well, you'll see what happens…Any and all constructive feedback is always appreciated!
..:--X--:..
Chapter One: Phoenix
Sora didn't know what to do anymore.
The hospital wing of Disney Castle was chilly at night, like most hospitals, but tonight it was downright freezing, at least to him. The low thrum of the air conditioning danced in little waves of sound over the tile floors. It was too quiet. Quiet in a hospital is an eerie presence, and all Sora could hear was the quiet. The thrum of the air conditioning and the patter of the rain had to fight through the thick cotton that felt clogged in his ears.
Sora had never felt so weak before. So helpless and vulnerable.
The chilled air moved in invisible currents through the open space, undulating in a curling blossom over the thin sheets. Sora couldn't even shiver as the air penetrated the blanket and the sheets, attacking his burned and broken flesh. He didn't attempt to pull the blanket closer or curl up into a warm ball. He fisted the sheets with white knuckles, but that was about it.
Sora felt nothing.
Maybe that was why it felt so cold. He was existentially and uncomfortably numb. The raw tsunami of emotions that had overwhelmed his heart's reservoir had run dry, and he simply had nothing left to feel. Except cold. And he couldn't even shiver anymore.
Kairi was asleep.
Sora moved glassy eyes from the window to her face. Kairi had barely left his side since…well three days ago. She had been forced to leave when the doctors removed the shrapnel from his shoulder and cut the melted clothes from his skin. Other than that, she had been with him. Well, she had also left him alone when he had to identify the bodies. She hadn't been able to stand that, and Sora couldn't bring himself to burden her with seeing what he'd seen.
Kairi was leaned forward in her chair, her arms folded on the edge of the bed, her head nestled in one elbow, her face turned toward him. Long eyelashes shrouded her closed eyes and a few locks of auburn red hair had fallen forward to frame her pale face. The moonlight, fighting through the rain and the thick glass of the window, rippled through and touched her face. Pale, soft, unbroken, unmarred, not scarred or blemished, but perfect.
Sora grimaced and turned away from her.
It took an unusual amount of effort to roll over. He didn't know how long he'd been lying on his back, but his neck was feeling stiff. Slowly, so as not to disturb Kairi's sleeping form, Sora curled his right arm towards his body, mindful of the thick bandages around his hand, and pulled his left shoulder across to turn his back to her. A few minutes of tentative wriggling later, he had managed to roll onto his right hip, easing the pressure off his left shoulder and gingerly holding his right hand on the mattress.
Kairi stirred with a soft moan behind him and Sora grimaced. While Kairi had tried for three days to comfort and help him, what Sora really wanted was to be left alone. There was no comfort she could offer and no help to give. Her presence, while soothing, served more of the purpose of a hindrance than support. As she began to shift behind him, Sora was careful to keep the tension out of his body, to maintain the ruse of sleep.
"Sora?" Kairi's sleep laden voice broke through the marsh in his ears.
Sora bit his lower lip, eyes narrowed to slits, watching through his eyelashes as the rain pattered against the window glass. Go back to sleep, Kairi. Leave the wing and go to sleep in your own room. He willed her silently.
She didn't speak again, and Sora didn't look to see if she'd gone or just fallen asleep again. Easing her from his mind, Sora instead let his attention wander to the rain. He couldn't hear the rain; blown ear drums tended to block out those low level sounds. His eyes, however, followed the path of the drops on the glass as they traversed across the plane, gathering into rivulets that formed a web of watery veins, dumping onto the sill. The pale moonlight ran rampant in crystalline sparkles over the drops, making the window glitter.
Sora could still smell the fire, ashes, and blood burned black.
He inhaled slowly, drawing in as much cool, clear oxygen as his lungs would allow. The nasal cannula was pushing against his cheek as he tilted his head to the side, but he did nothing to fix it. Just as slowly, he exhaled, pushing out the spent air like a toxin.
"Talk to me."
Kairi's voice carried tones so frail and concerned, it was all Sora could do not to roll over and comfort her, tell her everything was okay, it was going to be okay, he was okay. He couldn't, because everything was not okay, it would never be okay, and he most certainly was NOT okay. So he just feigned sleep, not responding to her at all. He was actually getting pretty good at it. He could count how many words he'd said over the last three days on one hand…well, his left hand maybe.
Sora felt Kairi sitting up behind him, could almost imagine her large blue eyes watching him expectantly, worriedly, for a reprieve from this still, quiet Sora. She was probably thinking, trying to choose the best way to coerce him to open up to her, spill his feelings, and start that healing process. No, Sora didn't want to go through that yet. In order to begin the healing process, he had to be willing to accept the wound. He just couldn't do that. Not yet. It was too soon.
"O-okay, just—just know that when…whenever you do want to talk…Please, Sora, let me help." She stammered uncomfortably.
Sora clenched a fist around the sheets, pleading inwardly for her to just go, to leave him be and go. Of course, she didn't get that telepathic telegram. What felt like the back of her fingers grazed the small of his back. A cautious, reassuring touch. Four, knuckled fingers traced a short line across his back, her thumb rubbing two small circles before she hesitantly withdrew.
"Y-you're tired, I bet. I'll just—you know—let you sleep…I'll come back tomorrow, I promise."
The muted squeak of her chair being pushed back along the tiles as she stood. Sora could almost see her, in his mind's eye, looking unsure and pausing, reaching out to offer another affectionate and soothing touch, but hesitating and, in defeat, leaving him in peace. He heard her shoes click across the floor as she crossed the room and the gentle groan of the door sliding open and closed.
Alone now. Sora wasn't sure if that was good or bad.
The pain was slowly creeping back into his shoulder and the deep seated throb had returned to his hand as the pain killers wore off. Gritting his teeth, Sora lifted his left arm and reached over to grip the control of the morphine drip. With surprisingly steady fingers, he depressed the button and eased his arm back to its former position. The drug's relief was almost immediate, the cool, unfeeling sensation clouding over the pain in his shoulder.
His hand was still stinging, and throbbed continually with his pulse. The bandages around his hand were thick and many layered, but he could still see the empty space. He could still see the lack of matter where three days ago there had been two working fingers. Only the top digits of his remaining fingers were poking out of the bandages. They were purple and bruised, blood clotted under his fingernails. He couldn't have moved them if he'd wanted to, and he didn't want to. So whatever.
His ribs were starting to protest the pressure of lying on one side, groaning against the bruised curves of his spine. Another cruel onslaught of air brushed over the bare skin of his neck and the side of his face that wasn't covered in gauze. The muscles in his chest were constricted and sore, making breathing an unpleasant experience. His knee was aching and felt hot against his other leg, probably still swelling.
He was just falling apart, wasn't he?
A morbid flash of humor tickled his throat, but it died quickly and Sora closed his eyes, releasing a hoarse breath that hitched at his collar. His ribs were sore. Lying on his side wasn't helping that ailment. He gritted his teeth in exasperation. There was no comfortable position. Every inch of his body ached no matter how he tried to sleep.
One lone fork of lightning illuminated the sky outside, sending a brief blast of light through the curtained windows and reflected off the white tile floor, stabbing at his eyes. It reminded Sora too much of fire. Hot, red, angry fire. Sora closed his eyes tightly, biting his lip hard, but not hard enough to stifle a muffled groan. The sound seemed to echo off the walls and he was mildly surprised that nurses didn't come rushing in to see what was wrong. Maybe his earlier shouting session had sent them permanently scurrying for cover. Maybe that was a good thing.
The painkillers were making everything fuzzy. The hospital wing was sliding back and forth, zigging where it should have been zagging. The moonlight cascading through the window danced through all the shifting versions through his eyes, giving his vision a kaleidoscopic feeling. Under the glaze of morphine, he decided that tomorrow he was going to get out of this bed, out of the hospital wing, and get some answers.
Until then, he let the drugs work their magic. Sora closed his eyes and exhaled slowly, succumbing to the lure of sleep. He could only pray he wouldn't dream of fire.
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"You cheated!"
"You're just a sore loser."
"Nuh-uh! You cheated!"
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"Did not!"
"Ah, the intelligent conversations of the Keyblade Masters." Kairi interrupted, walking up between Sora and Riku. "Who started it this time?"
Sora hooked an arm around her neck. "I was just schooling Riku on what a fair sparring match is."
Riku laughed, "Oh please. I beat you fair and square, and you know it."
"You threw sand in my eyes!" Sora pointed out. "That's against the rules!"
Riku laughed again, "Rules? When have there ever been any rules?"
Sora started to retort, paused, mulled it over, and settled for glaring. "Still." He faced forward again. "Cheap shot."
Riku snorted and shook his head as they walked on down the busy street of the Radiant Garden Marketplace. Sora flashed him a victorious grin.
"But," He started, "Whatever it takes to help you sleep at night. Besides, Kairi likes me more."
Kairi giggled and shrugged to Riku. "He's got you there."
Sora pulled her closer and kissed her on the lips. He felt her smile and he smiled too, pulling away and grinning at Riku again. Riku wore a sour expression.
"Ugh, get a room." He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked ahead of them.
"It's a natural act of affection, Riku." Sora prattled on now that he could see he'd ruffled his friend's feathers. "Just because you can't get a girl who tolerates you."
Riku chuckled, shook his head, and walked on, "Better than overdoing the PDA like you dorks."
Sora smirked and winked at Kairi. Riku played cool, but Sora knew better. They'd both had feelings for Kairi since she moved to Destiny Islands. Throughout their adventures against the Heartless and even Organization XIII, Sora knew how Riku felt toward Kairi. It was hard to miss.
Shortly after returning to Destiny Islands after Xemnas was destroyed, Sora had taken Kairi aside and they'd talked for a while. Not about anything in particular, but by the time the sun went down, Sora was sure he didn't like Kairi anymore. He loved her. Then she told him that she loved him too. That was that. They tried not to flaunt it in front of Riku, but spirits had been so high lately, it was hard not to share the love. The war was drawing to a close. Xehanort's loyalists were going AWOL and surrendering by the masses, and peace negotiations were well underway. Fortunately, Riku didn't appear to mind too much.
"Come on." Sora dropped his arm from Kairi's shoulders and quickened his pace to catch up to Riku. "We're gonna be late for the meeting."
"Oh yeah, Kingdom Hearts forbid we miss Leon's report on violence in Wonderland." Riku chortled.
"Behave." Kairi swatted him on the arm. "Just because the bad guys are…playing cards…doesn't mean you shouldn't take them any less seriously."
Riku rolled his eyes and exchanged a look with Sora, who snorted into his fist.
"Well, no matter." Kairi locked her hands behind her back, swaying behind them. "I'll catch up with you guys afterwards, okay?"
"Yeah, we'll see you later." Sora waved at her.
She smiled and knocked Sora and Riku's shoulders. Riku smiled back and Sora held her eyes a moment longer. She winked and turned curtly on her heel, sauntering back the way they'd come. Sora and Riku exchanged a look and kept walking on.
The Allied Headquarter building stood tall and stark against the skyline of Radiant Garden. It was mostly glass and steel, with floor-to-ceiling windows that reflected the blue light during the day and was blacker than the sky at night. It had been constructed to be intimidating; big, black, and ominous. Sora had never really seen the intimidation. To him, it was just another giant building. Then again, he wasn't a Heartless follower, so maybe that made a difference.
They reached the glass doors and Riku swept the door open.
"Ladies, first." He beckoned.
Sora stuck his tongue out and glanced back to Kairi, who had stopped to talk to Biggs and Wedge. She was laughing and talking like there wasn't a care in the world. If these negotiations went smoothly, in a few months there wouldn't be a care in the world.
Riku followed his gaze and rolled his eyes, grabbing him the scruff of the neck, "All right, come on, loverboy. You can schmooze with your princess later."
Sora laughed and headed inside the cool interior of the building. "Hey, after this is all over, we need to hook you up with somebody."
"Oh please, I can get my own dates."
"Yeah, but you don't—"
Before Sora was able to expound on the statement, his shoulder collided with another body. Stumbling, Sora turned in time to catch the elbow of the falling girl. She staggered but caught her balance. Mumbling, she straightened and looked at Sora.
"Watch it—Oh, sorry, sir." She straightened her uniform and Sora recognized the symbols on her jacket as those of a private. She looked from Sora to Riku. "I'm very sorry, majors." She nodded and hastily maneuvered around them, hurrying through the doors.
Riku followed her with his eyes and looked to Sora, who slowly looked back to him. After a few seconds, they looked away to avoid the attack of laughter.
"Well, hey, look on the bright side," Sora said as they walked toward the elevator. "That private back there was checking you out."
Riku punched him lightly on the shoulder. "Shut up."