It's been four months now, but yet… I still dwell in agony and misery. Every time I look into the mirror I see myself and I see you.
But...
You're not holding me in your arms like you used to. Not sharing the warmth of your body that constantly melted the ice barrier around my heart. Not telling me how much you missed me…needed me…loved me…
But instead, you're holding some else, the tiger that you had grown close to in our years of absence. You're sharing your warmth with him, you're whispering to him the words that used to be only meant for me.
My phoenix…
What happened? Why did you leave? Were my offerings not good enough? Was the love I gave not supplying you with the security that you've wanted for so long? If so, than I'm sorry. It's the best I could do, the best I could give.
I saw you and I felt the weight of depression leaving my shoulders. I foolishly believed that all these years, you still loved me, even after me and the gang at the abbey, but I keep forgetting the main fact.
You chose to leave. You chose to forget. You chose…to not say goodbye, not once…but twice.
You didn't seem to know me anymore. You didn't claim me as your best friend anymore and the ice took over again, nestling deep into the pits of my soul's most darkest corners. It felt like someone stabbed a knife in my heart, right in the core and twisted it until I gave in.
Are you playing a game with me? Do you know how much it hurts to see you chasing after that cat?
All of this I thought before the final match. As I walked to the beystadium for my match against Tyson I felt your eyes on me and my form. You were trying to burn your way through my shield of impenetrable ice, but you were failing. Taking off my jacket I heard gasps from your team as well as my own. Of course I wore a sleeveless muscle shirt but your shock was caused by the many fresh scars, not even an hour old imprinted on both of my arms and wrists. Your eyes had widened in realization and I smiled. Finally, after years you figured out what you had done, and there was no way for you to undo it all now.
My eyes wandered from you to the boy in front of me….Tyson Granger. I could see the determination in his eyes fueled by the desire to win. It was the same determination that drew me to you. Your fire, your raging desire to become the greatest beyblader of all time fueled your entire being. I was intrigued by your personality by what people saw, but I also saw what no one else could. I knew you ached inside and I wanted to be the one to comfort you with my love. You used that to wrap me around you finger, but no more will you manipulate me, phoenix…
Three…two…one…LET IT RIP!!!
I lost…
I had failed my duties to take the victory of this battle and now my team would suffer at the hands of Boris. With all the enhancements made and the process of turning me into a cyborg….it was all just a waste. I understood though. Boris had guaranteed our defeated by stripping away the very thing that we needed. Our emotions. Now my team would suffer a cruel fate.
You knew what would happen, but the punishment that laid away wasn't to your upmost satisfactory. It wasn't enough that I had let my team down but you had to have your glorious moment in my mental destruction. I was you rushing to me when I feel on the floor in exhaustion. You reached for me but your touch burned like fire against my skin. I reared back faster than a rattle snake could strike.
Those beautiful garnet eyes stared at me in confusion. I know you. You found pleasure in my misery. Deep down you were ecstatic to show the world your new masterpiece: my broken image and here was the perfect chance.
Again you lashed out to successfully grab both my arms…..and I cracked. With a scream of pure hatred, I thrashed about trying futilely to free myself from your hold.
Footsteps…
I heard them coming closer and then more hands clasped onto my already struggling body. I screamed again. During my incoherent wailing I heard your voice soothingly slipping passed the thin cracks made in my defenses and I hissed in pain.
Your warmth was melting my ice. I was being destroyed.
My struggling began to lessen as the loss of blood and exhaustion took over. Then that's when you whispered those three words…
'I love you.'
And my wall of solid durable ice came crashing down like liquid water. I passed out defeated.
You had won. At least as ice I had a way of enduring the inevitable but as water I am only a puddle on the sidewalk waiting to be evaporated and recycled.