A/N: The song Kimi Shinitamou Kotonakare belongs to M'yan, Naruto belongs to Kishimoto, and this fiction story is the prequel to my new upcoming story Where in Time…Everywhere
This story was rewritten to better go with the sequel.
She is…Akatsuki
My cloak billowed in the wind, flapping around me as the bitter cold stung my chest. The moonlight shone down upon me, highlighting who I was, where I was, and what I was. The Valley of the End below me looked beautiful and peaceful, the only thing disturbing the serenity being my presence. I looked down at myself, frowning at the red cloud so easily visible. I couldn't stop myself from reaching for my low ponytail to feel the long hair there. And then past the opening of my cloak to feel the large scroll hidden there, next to the metal tube to brush my finger's across it's cool surface.
Sakura is…Akatsuki
I looked up at the moon, catching sight of the two giant heads from the corner of my eyes. The Valley of the End. I had tried to seek answers here many times before, each time the heavens blessed me with something. This time, I didn't expect anything.
My original goal had been accomplished; the thing I had set out to do was over and done with.
The river ran on either side of the rock I stood on, making its way past its obstacle to fall down off the cliff. The moon shifted above me, slowly making its way across the sky. At some point, I sat down on my haunches, wrapping my arms around my knees. The metal cylinder dug into my side.
Her past…is no more.
What was I supposed to do know? I turned back up to the moon, regarding the pale sphere thoughtfully. My accomplishments had come with so much failure.
Sasuke only existed as the warped and screwed up memory I had of him. I thought it was kind of funny, in that twisted messed up way, that I had been the one to kill him. He hadn't even seen it coming. To be behind the scenes most of the time, to control things from the shadows. I had enough guilt to be the one who had done it, to feel his organs and blood underneath my fingers, to twist his heart as he seized to his death. No, I hadn't gone that far. Didn't mean I wasn't responsible.
Sasuke had been the downfall, even I knew that. The soft-spot I felt for him had led to his death, led to everything falling apart around me. Nothing I could do know. A glance behind me, to see the very knob of the scroll at my back, before a shake of my head; I couldn't, it was too late for that.
Naruto is…afraid.
And Naruto, kami there was Naruto to think about. The failures there wrenched my gut at night, twisting my very insides until I couldn't possibly sleep. The man who had loved me with such devotion, his love had been…no person could paragon with the kitsune. And to see the way his eyes sought mine on our five meetings since that day, the hurt and pain within them.
He couldn't be left behind as easily as I had hoped. I had left for a reason, a reason I couldn't even begin to explain to him.
Five retched times, five times I was forced to watch the sadness turn to fear, watch him cringe from me as I held a claw to his neck, watch him beg me to come back as if all could be forgiven, after all I had done; I had failed my brother five times too many.
Kakashi is…alone.
What of my old sensei? That thought made me giggle. Sensei my ass.
I had seen him more often than Naruto; he seemed to sort of understand, maybe, in that perceptive way of his. Maybe he had noticed how my hair was a little too long, how my scent had changed so drastically, or maybe he just knew.
His knowing didn't matter now, what with him being dead and all.
But he had been so much more to me than any of the others; my feelings for him only rivaled one other time in my life. Failing Kakashi had been the worst, the broken promises had left my heart smoldering and burning to dust.
My heart had fallen for the last time.
I had only ever done one thing for Kakashi. I, alone, could smoke out his inner turmoil; make sure he didn't break to pieces before me. Had he broken anyway?
Time is…out.
One of my most dire quests had been about love, to plant and preserve it, as a copse. But that dream would never be realized, not now. After throwing away everything, almost carelessly, that dream would never, and could never, be mine. Especially not after what I had been through after it all.
I winced at the onslaught of memories, the same ones I had been putting on hold for so long. But now, here, was the perfect moment. Pain, blood, lies, broken pieces, shattered memories, torn lives, shredded people, it was all there, haunting me behind closed eyelids. But soon, not even the memories would remain, for the end was near, ever so near.
I had hoped to buy myself time, time to complete what I desperately wished to do, time to fix mistakes and past regrets, time to do everything that needed to be done. But time had managed to catch up to me anyway
Life is…preserved.
I didn't move as my name was spoken. I refused to allow the widening of my eyes, refused to jerk around and confront the person. My name was but a soft caressing whisper on their lips, so soft, yet a demanding shout, a need for explanation and answers. I had hoped not to face my ghosts, hoped it wouldn't come down to this.
Carefully, slowly, I rose up, turning just enough to face him completely. I brought my straw hat up to my chest, clutching it enough to puncture holes for my fingers. I knew the voice so well, had heard it say my name in every tone imaginable. Was this really an illusion? A hallucination? He looked so real, right down to the bulge in his pocket and the bandage tied around his head.
"Kakashi." My voice almost broke as his name rolled off my tongue. Compassionate, but not revealing anything.
"Naruto thinks you are dead."
I shook my head. My hair-tie chose that moment to break, sending my hair in ripples around me, like a graceful river. "I live…but, maybe, not for much longer."
There was silence, hard agonizing silence that brought forth the cruel harsh truth of things.
"I tried," I stated dispassionately, "I tried so hard."
"He doesn't understand." Kakashi replied, taking a step forward. Five more and he would reach the stepping stones in the river, another ten after that and he would reach me.
"I saw your blood." I choked.
He paused.
"It was covering the grass, some of it had spilled into the river, and it was painted on trees. It was so much blood; I didn't think you could surive." Here, small tears fell from the corner of my eyes. In the moonlight, they reflected as beautiful liquid diamonds. "That was when I knew, all the failures, they were finally taking their toll.
"Red: it symbolizes so much to me just because of its color. It's the color of Naruto's Fox Cloak, the color of the sunset, the color of the clouds on my cloak, the color of the moon in Madara's perfect world…the color of your Sharingan, the color of your book, the color of your arm patch…" I paused, releasing a swallowed breath. "The color of your blood."
Silence reined once again. I turned away, looking at the two large heads before me.
"Why are you in the Valley of the End?" Kakashi asked quietly and solemnly.
"Akatsuki has met its end."
"That doesn't tell me anything."
"It tells you I failed, again. I betrayed everybody, left behind my friends, my family, my ideals, absolutely everything, just to fail again. The Akatsuki are gone, eradicated because of my mistakes. I'm the last one. I completely rule the group now."
"You ruled them before they met their doom."
I turned all the way back toward my old sensei, now so much less and so much more. He wasn't wearing his Konoha vest, but his headband still adorned his head, covering up the Sharingan. His silver hair glinted in the moonlight. Had things been different, circumstances changed, I would have smiled.
"I'm here," I said at last, "Because this is the end." My hand reached toward the bag on my thigh. I pulled down the zipper, noticing how loud it went down, and withdrew a small red box in the shape of a flower. The petals were outlined in gold. "You should probably take this back; give it to somebody more deserving."
Neither of us took a step forward.
"I gave it to you for a reason."
I glanced down at it, turning it slightly to look at the inscription better.
Donna basho de
Donna koe de
Doushita itte
Ai wa naiterundarou
What is this place?
What is this voice?
What could be wrong?
Love seems to be crying
"I gave it to your for a reason." He answered.
"Yeah, you said Rin gave it to you. It started with Obito after he received it from somebody, then to Rin, to you, and finally me. A long stream of hands have passed over this box, each in love with a person. But it keeps coming back to me. Please, take it. Maybe, when everything is said and done with, you can fall in love again."
Kakashi took five steps forward, neither of them showed hesitation or caution. "You know perfectly well that will never happen."
"Do I?"
Five more steps. "You should."
Three more from him, two from me, and we were together. I thrust the box into his hands, quickly retreating three steps. I waited. What did I wait for? Not even I knew.
Kakashi's hands moved over the box, re-familiarizing himself with it. He seemed to notice every new mark that hadn't been on it eight years ago. He knew that I had broken it, knew that it had protected me from a kunai to the heart, and seemed to know every other hand that had touched it. The lid of the box lifted, the melody played. Too happy a melody for this situation, but the lyrics fit perfectly.
"You know the words?"
I nodded, closing my eyes. "Unlike a world that has ended long ago, the beginning of such a thing is not to be found. I, too, understand all of your pain. Won't you share those feelings with me? What I'm somehow able to, once I try for the first time, I'll know. You shall not experience death. I close my eyes in the darkness. Where, and what is this voice? What could be wrong? Love…seems to be crying."
We listened to the box until Kakashi shut the lid, both of us gazed at the lid wistfully, hearts heavy with wishes.
"What would you say if I gave it back to you?" he asked.
"I'd say you are making a mistake."
"But this box goes to loved ones, does it not?"
I couldn't listen anymore, I had to look away.
"I still love you."
I bit down on my lip, wishing I wasn't hearing him. I knew exactly how to respond, but I should lie, should lie and make him forget about me. Hadn't I lied enough? Could I burden anymore guilt?
"I love you, too." I whispered, half sobbed. "But I can't go back. Not know, not ever. It's the end, my time has run out. I have to leave it all behind, forget about my existence…escape."
Love is…forever.
"I can't stop myself." Kakashi said.
"Can't you understand?" I cried.
"I do understand!"
"Than why do I feel like nobody does?"
The only warning I had before his arms closed around from behind me was the moving of his pants, signaling that he had taken the last three steps to reach me. It felt good to be back in his embrace, like the last eight years had never happened. "Just because," he whispered into my ear, "Just because."
The moon was beginning to dip over the forest line.
"I have to go," I said at last.
"I know."
I fumbled with the gold ring on my finger, slipping it off from my middle finger and handing it to Kakashi. "It's imbedded with my life force. At least, you'll always know about me."
"Do you really want to leave it all behind?"
"I have to. I don't belong here anymore. I changed too much."
They stood that way for the longest time; the moon vanished to the other side of the world hours before the sun began to come up, highlighting the tips of the horizon in a lavender color. Kakashi withdrew, allowing me to turn and hug him properly. "Good bye, Sakura."
I looked up at him, reaching with my toes to place the briefest of butterfly kisses on his masked chin. I couldn't help myself from thinking that I had never managed to see what was under that piece of fabric.
Regretfully, I pulled back and walked to the edge of the cliff, feeling the spray as it hit whatever wasn't guarded by my cloak. My arms spread out on either side of me. "Good bye."
She is…failure…she is…the beginning.
Kakashi allowed his eyes to survey the vast lake, searching for remnants. Sakura always left traces of herself, she couldn't help it. Little belongings, ones that meant nothing to her, ones that meant the world to him, safe and sound forever.
He saw it glitter in the sunlight, its metal surface attracting his attention. He could make out the carved mark, the leaf-like shape, and the deep uneven gash across it. The red ribbon was soaked to the core. Her cloak was washed up on the stone, heavy fabric threatening to fall beneath the ever present waves. She truly was gone.
But she would be back. Sakura had much to prove. She would prove to the world, coming before it in all her glory and magnificence, that she was not the failure she believed she was, but something more, something proud, something strong.
Cherry-blossoms, in all their beauty, were known for their fleeting and fragile lives.
Sakura is…the cherry of Konoha, the blossom of Akatsuki.
A/N: I must say, I think I pull of angst quite well. Much better than I do fluff.
If you're confused, just wait for the sequel.