Chapter 1: In The Beginning...We're All Screwed.
It was a dark and stormy night…said everyone ever. But it was night, it was storming outside, and I was playing Bloodborne. I was fighting the Orphan of Kos. I was finally about to put this frustrating son of a bitch to rest, but as life would have it, the power went out.
"FFFFUUUUUCK!"
I was without a doubt pissed. However, while I was pissed off as fuck, I couldn't help but wonder why my scream of rage didn't wake anyone up. I sighed. At this point, screw it, I just wanted to sleep. I decided to try again tomorrow if the power came back on. After all, I can beat Senator Armstrong from Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance on Revengeance mode and get the S rank. I can do this.
I pulled the covers over myself and closed my eyes.
It's going to be one of those days…I just know it.
I snapped my eyes open to find myself not in my room waking up in bed, but sitting in a very comfortable chair; in front of a very large table draped in blue velvet cloth. This was the Velvet Room from Persona 3.
"It seems our guest of honor has arrived safe and sound." said a very familiar voice next to me.
I turned my head to the right to find myself face to face with the No-Life King himself, Alucard.
...fucking wot?
"So, this is the kid the big man told us about. Eh, I expected better. But then again, I expected nothing, yet I am still disappointed."
I turned my head to the left to see Dante Sparda from Devil May Cry. Specifically Devil May Cry 4.
"Ah, cut the kid a break, Dante. He could surprise us."
My head was drawn to the source of the voice. It was Eddie Riggs from Brütal Legend.
"Of course he will. I picked him after all."
At this point, I wasn't surprised anymore. It was Zelretch from the Type-Moon universe.
"You mean we picked him, right Zelretch?"
The source of this voice was Nyaruko from, Nyaruko: Crawling with Love. She's Nyarlathotep from the H.P. Lovecraft books...I'm screwed.
"I'm with Dante on this one. The kid doesn't look like much." This person was Ragna the Bloodedge from Blazblue.
"Hey, most of us here weren't much in the beginning, Ragna." This person was Lenka Utsugi from the God Eater anime.
"Kid's got a point." More people. Jesus. And this person is Geralt from The Witcher series.
"Now, now, everyone. Don't overwhelm our guest." I looked directly right in front of me. There, right across the table, was a man in a black suit with a red tie. He was absurdly tall and had black shadowy tendrils flowing from his back. I looked at his face, only to discover that there was no face.
I slammed my hands onto the table and pointed towards the man.
"For the love of God, I do not have your twenty dollars!" I shouted to what could only be the Slenderman.
There were a few seconds of silence. Then all of a sudden, everyone, including me, started laughing their asses off.
"Okay, I take it back. This guy is awesome!" said Dante, with Ragna who was agreeing with him.
"Alright, alright, can someone here explain why I'm here?" I asked, confused as all Hell.
"I can explain that, young man," said what I think is the Slenderman, "I have brought you here to receive a power."
"A power?" I asked with my eyebrow raised.
"Yes, child, this is the power that can make you a god-"
"Don't want it." I interrupted. Everyone in the room was shocked.
"Wait, what!?" Dante almost yelled.
"Yeah, I don't want to become a god. After all, I'm seventeen. What the fuck am I going to do with the powers of a god!?" I cracked my neck, feeling that it was a bit stiff. "I'm kind of content with my life as it is at the moment."
There was a heavy silence in the room. I honestly didn't care about the power, it's not like I had any use for it. Suddenly the Slenderman started clapping, which was made very ominous by how it echoed throughout the now silent room. He started laughing, I raised an eyebrow; everyone else on the table started chuckling as well.
This was unnerving, to say the least. Slenderman's face started to separate where his mouth would be. He had a mouth now, in the form of what I could only describe as a demonic Jack o' Lantern's mouth. His voice started to get more demonic as the laughter continued. However, I wasn't fazed by this. I wasn't usually fazed by anything these days.
"At long last, we finally found someone worthy!" he yelled in excitement.
"Worthy of what, might I ask?" I inquired.
"Of the power, my Child," he said, his voice still demonic; in all honesty, it sounded awesome!
"I thought I said I didn't want the power."
"I said power that could make you a god, not power that would make you a god."
"Oh, God. I think I know where this is going."
The smile on his face got wider when I said that.
"Yes, child. You know what this power is. What say you? Will you claim it?"
A black holographic screen with blood-red letter appeared in front of me.
You have been offered the power of The Eldritch Gamer by Cthulhu. Do you accept?
[Yes]
[No]
My eyes widened when I realized who it was being offered by, I looked back to the man. He's Cthulhu? Well, it makes sense as to why Nyarlathotep is here, but why is he cosplaying as Slenderman?
"What's the catch?" I asked with a smirk.
"I assure you, Child, there is no catch." If his grin had gotten any wider it might have split his face in two.
"Cthulhu, there's always a catch," I said as I pressed [Yes].
Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of The Gamer: Eldritch Edition.
To receive this system's version of [Gamer's Body] and [Gamer's Mind], please press [Yes]. For default settings, press [No].
I pressed [Yes] and was engulfed in black and red flames. I nearly panicked, but quickly calmed myself when I felt nothing except a slight tingle throughout my body. Once the fire died down, I noticed that my hair was covering my eyes, which was strange, because I got a haircut a few weeks ago. Cthulhu handed me a mirror, I looked at my reflection in the mirror. To say I was shocked was an understatement.
Oh god, I am the OC. My OC specifically.
I had shoulder length black hair, as well as blood-red eyes. Hell, I was even wearing the same black and red hoodie-jeans combo that my character had. I grinned like a madman. How could I not? This was amazing; I was now one of my favorite creations!
"I take it you like your new body?" asked Cthulhu.
"Oh, Hell yes!" I exclaimed, still grinning.
"Glad you like it. It took me a while to make that body right."
"Wait. How did you make this body?"
"Took some of mine and Alucard's bodies, basically put them in a blender, stirred it for twenty minutes, and this was the result."
"Really?" I said with a deadpan expression.
"Of course not. I had to put it in the human-sized cloning pod and warm it up for about 2 hours. Fucking busy work I tell you."
Most. Lazy. Eldritch. God. EVER!
"Okay, but why does this body look like my OC?" I asked.
"You have a problem with it?" Cthulhu's voice grew dangerous.
"No-"
"Then don't question it!"
"He thought that you'd like what would basically be your dream body," said Nyarlathotep, who was suddenly behind me.
I turned around and noticed that she had her name, title, and level above her head.
The Crawling Chaos
LV ? Nyarlathotep
Well, I don't know what I was expecting, she is a god after all. I looked at Cthulhu.
Preist of The Outer Gods
LV ? Cthulhu
I looked at Alucard.
No-Life King
LV ? Alucard
I looked at Geralt.
Witcher
LV 33 Geralt
I looked at Ragna.
The Bloodedge
LV ? Ragna
I looked at Dante.
The Son of Sparda
LV ? Dante
I looked at Lenka.
Fenrir Branch God Eater
LV 24 Lenka Utsugi
I looked at Eddie.
The Roadie
LV 39 Eddie Riggs
"Okay. I've learned one important thing today. Everyone here is out of my league." I said with a chuckle. "So what now?"
"Check your status, Child," recommended Cthulhu.
I thought status and another black screen with red writing popped up.
Name: Jack Gehrman
Occupation: The Eldritch Gamer
LV: 5
EXP: 0%
HP: 175/175
MP: 100/100
Strength: 23
Vitality: 12
Dexterity: 14
Intelligence: 7
Wisdom: 8
Luck: 9
Point(s): 5
Cash: $20
Skills:
[Eldritch Body] (Passive) LV MAX. Sleeping in a bed will regenerate all HP & MP. Regeneration to body proportional to current HP level. However, all pain persists and does not go away until healed.
[Eldritch Mind] (Passive) LV MAX. Allows the user to calmly think at all times. Allows for greater mental composure. Immunity to mind-altering effects. [Guitar-Playing] (Passive) LV 2, EXP [23.7%] This is your ability to play the guitar. As the skill EXP increases, you will be able to better head through the fire and the flames. Plucking speed and accuracy increases by 10%.
[Piano-Playing] (Passive) LV 2, EXP [12.3%] This is your ability to play the piano. As the skill EXP increases, you will soon be able to Liszt your numerous accomplishments. Playing speed and accuracy increases by 10%.
[Drawing] (Passive) LV 5, EXP [35.2%] This is your ability to create drawings. As the skill EXP increases, you will be able to make Leonardo da Vinci weep in shame. Drawing speed and accuracy increases by 20%.
[Cooking] (Passive) LV 1, EXP [2%] This is your ability to craft foodstuffs. As the skill EXP increases, you will be able to make Gordon Ramsay weep tears of joy. Cooking speed and skill increases by 1%.
Items
[Necronomicon] An indestructible and fairly heavy tome of wizardry and doom! It's a good read, and the spells contained within are extremely potent. However, unfortunately, you are not, so the best you can do as of yet is use it as a bludgeoning instrument.
[Electric Guitar] This guitar was forged by ESP, then re-forged in the fires of Mount Doom by Eddie Riggs of Brütal Legend. Makes a great sound when played. It's indestructible, and as such, doubles as a bludgeoning instrument.
[Guitar Pick] A plastic guitar pick manufactured by d'Addario. This is your favorite guitar pick in the world. Augments the [Guitar-Playing] skill.
Well, damn.
My stats aren't half bad. I looked at [Eldritch Body].
Oh boy. This can only end so well for me.
I then looked at [Eldritch Mind].
Oh, goody. This can only end so well for everyone else.
My skills were pretty much as expected. My stats were higher than I expected, in all honesty. I looked at my items.
[Necronomicon]...
I'm so going to beat someone to death with this thing…
I was very much surprised to see I had an electric guitar along with my pick.
Beating someone to death with the guitar as well…
Inventory, I thought. Another screen popped up with all my items shown on it, I put my hand in it and pulled out the guitar. The space around my hand started to ripple like water as I pulled it out. And my God, if this wasn't one of the most badass guitars I'd ever seen. I turned my head to Eddie and grinned.
"Dude, thank you! This guitar is amazing!" I exclaimed.
"Damn right it is. Took me a while to get it just right," said Eddie. We fist bumped across the table.
I put the guitar back in my inventory and brought out the Necronomicon. The item description was right, it was a heavy book. It was a black leather book with gold letters on it that spelled out Necronomicon. I looked at Cthulhu with a raised brow.
"The original Necronomicon was destroyed, so Nyarlathotep and I made a more accurate new version of it," the God explained. I shrugged.
"Speaking of Nyarlathotep," I looked turned around to see her still standing behind me "I have to ask." She raised an eyebrow, "Why are you the anime version of yourself?"
I noticed that everyone in the room was trying to contain their laughter...and failing.
She blushed slightly and deadpanned at me.
"Why do you even know about my anime version?" she asked.
"Why do you have an anime version?" was my reply. She sighed.
"Japan..." she said plainly.
"Nuff said, Nuff said."
I took the Necronomicon in my hands, leaned back into my seat crossed my legs one over the other and opened the dark tome. I was reading it contents...well, trying to read it's contents. I could read some of it, but not all. Guess it had to do something with my Intelligence stat not being very high.
As I continued to go through the book, Zelretch got out of his seat and walked towards me.
"Young man, do you know why we choose you?" asked Zelretch.
"Hm, good question. Why was I picked in the first place?" I inquired.
"Well it wasn't so much we as it was Nyarlathotep over there," Zelretch pointed to the Crawling Chaos.
Oh, maligned God, this is going exactly where I think it's going.
"You see, we all chose one person to receive the power of The Eldritch Gamer, but as it turns out all of them were power-hungry and wanted to become gods," he said, pacing back and forth. "But the reason why you were the last person to be seen is that who picked you and why you were picked."
He stopped pacing and stood to the right of me. "It was Nyarlathotep that picked you."
"So why did she pick me?" I asked, about to call it. Zelretch had a shit-eating grin on his face. Everyone in the room besides Nyarlathotep and I were trying to contain their laughter. Nyarlathotep was blushing and wouldn't look me in the eyes.
Zelretch took a deep breath.
"SHE HAS A CRUSH ON YOU!" he shouted at the top of his lungs. The whole room busted out in laughter while Nyarlathotep was atomic red
What? Oh god, I really am the OC.
It took a while for everyone to calm down.
"She thinks your OC is super hot and super edgy," Alucard explained while Nyarlathotep glared holes into the back of his head.
"Well, I did design him that way, but that is one of the most shallow reasons I have ever heard. It's not even me it's my OC." I deadpanned. "Ah, fuck it, I'll take what I can get. I'll take fake love over no love at all."
"You are one desperate kid, aren't you?" Zelretch asked.
I gave him a bland look. "You should see the Discord severs I'm in."
Zelretch shrugged. "Well, we all picked powerful warriors from other worlds, while you were the only person that came from a world with no supernatural power at all." he paused for a second. "But what my question is...why haven't you asked who we are yet?"
"Ah, the fourth wall...ye were so young," said Cthulhu, nodding sagely. Everyone besides myself and Nyarlathotep was confused as to what Cthulhu meant.
"Wait, none of you know?" I asked, surprised.
They all nodded.
I sighed "They know about multiverse theory but never figured it out." I said to myself out loud, further confusing them. "I'll just say it bluntly. You all are anime/video game/book characters in my world."
The room was dead quiet when I said that. Cthulhu had his mouth closed but was still smiling. Nyarlathotep was suddenly sitting in my lap for some reason, I'm not going to question it.
"Kid, let me get this straight. We're fictional characters in your world?" asked Ragna.
"Yes, Ragna, you're from a tournament fighter game series called Blazblue, with you as the main protagonist. Your brother is Jin and your sister is Saya and your foster mother is Celica A. Mercury." Ragna was wide-eyed and shocked, but I wasn't done yet. "You wield the Azure Grimoire, along with the Death Scythe. And finally, the person you hate the most - understandably - is Yuki Terumi."
I pointed to Alucard.
"You're Alucard from the manga Hellsing that got two anime adaptations. Your real name is Dracula and you are the servant of Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing. Your servant is Seras Victoria. And now, after the Major's failed attempt at killing you, you now are in fact unkillable due to the fact that you have omnipresence after absorbing Schrödinger."
"Okay, the kid's legit," said Zelretch.
"Of course I am, but I'm just surprised you didn't pick Shirou Emiya," I said, Zelretch hung his head down.
"I did, actually," he said in a defeated tone.
"Let me guess: wanted to use the power as a way to help people, but would have just gone all counter guardian on everyone's ass." I guessed. He nodded weakly, I slow clapped.
I pointed to Dante.
"You're Dante from the video game series Devil May Cry, which got an anime which showed the incident with Sid. You're the son of the Dark Knight Sparda, who wields the sword of the same name. You are the twin brother of Virgil. And the uncle of his son, Nero." I paused, looked at his currently unreadable expression and grinned. "Now who wants pepperoni pizza with no olives and strawberry ice cream sundaes?"
"My man!" Dante yelled as we high fived.
"Long story short, I know all of your backstories, your abilities, and personalities." I leaned back into my chair. "So, Cthulhu, why did you give me the powers of The Gamer?"
"Well…one might say I was the chairman of the bored. Because I was bored," he responded.
"Understandable," I said, with a deadpan expression. "So, what do you want me to do with this power now, anyway?"
He grinned ear to ear before answering.
"Why don't you become a God's blessing on this wonderful world?" he said, oh so maliciously.
It took me a few seconds to realize what he was suggesting.
"You motherfu-"
He raised his hand.
"Bye."
Everything went black.
Chapter End