1Physical Attraction and Emotional Attachment
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. They belong to Paramount. But Paramount messed up, so I'm taking them out to play.
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Janeway/Chakotay
Summary: The male only experiences the symptoms when the physical attraction and the emotional attachment is mutual and very, very strong. Whatever happens, is consensual.
"Doctor, how IS he?" She started to become slightly irritated by the doctor's demeanour. For endless minutes now he had been rambling about medical procedures throwing with medical terms she had never heard of before. But it all didn't tell her anything about Chakotay's state.
"I hate to admit it, Captain," the hologram said solemn, "but I can't say. I've been unable to restore his ability to use his legs. Otherwise he seems to be fine, except for his raised hormone levels and his..." looking over at the surgical bay, the doctor stopped talking thinking it in his patient's best interest not to say anything further.
"Except for what, doctor?" One hand on her hip, the other in her aching neck she really was annoyed. She wanted nothing more than to hear he would be alright. Why was it so hard to say?
"Well, I decided it best to keep him sedated for now, until I've managed to resolve his hormone levels." The EMH hoped that it would suffice as explanation and the captain would just leave. "I'll let you know as soon as I awaken him." She nodded slowly.
"Can I see him for a minute?" The doctor knew she just wanted to see him to assure herself that he really was back safe and sound, back on the ship, back in her care. He understood. He really did, but...
"I don't think that's very wise at the moment." He said simply.
"Why not?" She had already started off in the direction of the surgical bay at the doctor's words, worrying him that there was something he didn't tell her, that there was something seriously wrong with Chakotay.
"Captain, please, I really have to advise you not to..." He was too late.
Stopping dead in her tracks as soon as Chakotay came into view lying on the bed, a low gasp erupted from her throat. Whatever she had expected to find, this was most certainly not it. A deep blush crept slowly up her spine and into her cheeks. For a minute she couldn't seem to avert her eyes as hard as she fought to do so. She was close enough to touch Chakotay's arm and her hand didn't really listen to her mind but worked at its own accord when it settled on his hot skin. When the doctor finally cleared his throat behind her, she turned around, her cheeks burning crimson.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have..." Without waiting for a reply she left sickbay and headed for the bridge and her ready room.
She would read reports, anything to get that image out of her mind. Anything to get rid of that ache between her thighs. But as hard as she tried to, she couldn't concentrate on anything. The image kept coming back and conjured a whole series of images, she would rather not have on her mind while being on duty. The ache between her legs refused to let off and nothing she did could distract her enough to reach her goal. So she finally decided to go to the bridge. Maybe, Harry's and Tom's banter could do something for. And maybe it would even help her upcoming headache.
"Report!" She snapped harsher than she had intended to when the doors to the bridge slid open.
She didn't even bother listening to the report Tuvok gave her without raising an eye brow. But she didn't miss the meaningful look Tom and Harry shared. Sitting down in her command chair she activated the console between her and Chakotay's chairs. There was nothing new to report. Of course. Tuvok had just told her and the report in her ready room were up-to-date. Too bad she didn't read them. Activating the console didn't prove to be such a good idea as it just evoked the image of the commander's fingers travelling on the buttons, letting her mind produce other images, images of his fingers on her body. God, was it suddenly getting hotter in here?
Adjusting the neck of her grey turtle neck she took a look around the bridge, making sure no one was paying attention before she shifted in her seat, trying to take the pressure off her aching flesh. It didn't work. It only increased the friction for a moment, causing her to moan slightly before she could stop the sound.
"Captain?" Tom turned around at the sound.
"Lieutenant?" She asked angry at herself for her slip. And angry at Tom for having heard and not let it go.
"Are you alright?" He was really concerned for her, but her mind didn't seem to register that.
"Of course," she said her voice cold as ice and loud enough to even surprise her. "Why shouldn't I be?" It was a rhetorical question and one Tom - hopefully - couldn't answer anyway. Fuck, I really need to get laid. Soon.
It wasn't working. The atmosphere on the bridge was tense. No banter. So much for her distraction. Where were Ensign Eager and Captain Proton when she needed them? And her sitting position wasn't any better here on the bridge than it had been in her ready room.
She stood up, wanting to walk around for a change, or just stand, whatever proved to turn out more helpful. The movement increased the friction once again and she felt a gush of fluid between her thighs and the heat spread from her clit into the rest of her body. She was sweating. And she was sure everyone could see the beads of sweat on her forehead and upper lip. She just knew. If she was so aware of them, they could probably be seen all the way to the alpha quadrant. Why was it so hot? Something must be wrong with the environmental systems.
"Ensign, are the environmental controls working properly?" She turned to Harry Kim.
"Everything is working within parameters, Captain." Harry replied without emotion, not wanting to draw her wrath onto him.
"Fine, I'll be in sickbay. Tuvok, you have the bridge." She sounded angry to the bridge crew and they wondered what was going on. To herself she sounded defeated, irritated and weak.
Such a no-goer, Kathryn. What the hell is wrong with you? Oh she knew perfectly well, what was wrong with her. What she didn't know was why. So she decided to get y hypospray from the doctor to relieve her from her headache and then take the rest of the afternoon off. She would have to take care of this matter herself. As always, she thought angrily. What are you whining about, Kathryn? It's your own fault you never get throughly fucked. What was she doing? She couldn't have such conversations with herself. This was so not captain-like.
"Captain? Back already?" The doctor greeted her immediately upon arrival in sickbay.
She only growled at him rubbing her temples.
"What's wrong? Another one of your headaches?" He enjoyed this a little bit too much, she decided.
"Just a pain reliever." She hissed.
"Fine, but I'll need to scan you first." He was obviously displeased at her behavious towards him and he would take it out on her. Realizing that she had no choice but obey him when she wanted to get that pain reliever she sat down on a bio bed and let him run his tests.
"Hmmm..."
"What?" He furrowed his brow and concentrated on his scans.
"Hmmm..." He did it again. Why did he keep doing that?
"Doctor..." She warned him, her voice low but threatening.
"Oh, I'm sorry, " He smiled at her, "the scans are slightly disturbing."
"How so?" She really WAS annoyed now. The pain reliever. Just. The. Pain. Reliever.
"Your hormone levels seem to be raised, just as the commander's."
Immediately the image of the commander lying on the surgical bed flashed through her mind. Another fash of heat. God, she wasn't going to survive this.
"Have you fond anything to resolve this?" She honestly tried to be polite. Really. It wasn't her fault the words didn't come out as she intended to.
"Unfortunately not." He shook his head slightly, "But I would nevertheless like to release the commander and you to your quarters. There is nothing I can do here right now, and I believe you both would be more comfortable in your own quarters."
"Alright," she would love to be on her own. She would love to take care of her business. But she needed that damn hypospray. "The pain reliever doctor!" She said short-tempered.
"Of course." He prepared a hypo and injected it into her neck. Almost immediately after the hiss she felt the pain leave her head. It felt good. "I want you to wear this, so I can monitor your condition. Since you obviously got into this predicament after being in contact with the commander, I define you to your quarters. Enjoy your leave, Captain." He placed the cortical monitor on her neck and had her beamed to her quarters before she could object to what he said.
She wouldn't have anyway. She needed to release some tension. Now.
"You need to wear one of those, commander, so I can take action if it is worsening."
"Of course, doctor"
"And I will check in on you in about 4 hours from now."
Chakotay just nodded. He wanted to get out of here. And he was in pain. Great pain. He needed to take care of his business. Now.
"And I would advise you to take care of that." The doctor nodded to his straining erection. After being healed from his injuries somehow his hormone levels had increased rapidly, leaving him in a state of constant arousal. Painful arousal. The doctor knew hat for certain, which is why he had kept him sedated in the first place. The fact that Chakotay wasn't able to use his legs wasn't very becoming either. He wondered how he would manage that one.
"Don't worry, commander, if there is anything you need, don't hesitate to give me a call." With that the doctor had him beamed into the bed of his own quarters.
Taking a look around and seeing nothing interesting within reach, Chakotay decided to just get down to business. It wasn't as if it was new for him.
Several hours later the captain entered sickbay. She was on the edge. She looked awful. She felt awful.
It just wasn't working. She had tried to bring herself to orgasm, get some satisfaction, some relief. but it didn't work. Then she tried a soothing hot bath. It had helped her relax somewhat but as soon as she moved the ache between her thighs rebuilt. She felt about ready to explode.
Nothing quite worked. She had practically rubbed herself raw, but nothing. Not even the image of his huge straining erection had made her come. She was furious. If she didn't get laid soon. no matter how, she would most certainly kill someone.
Standing there, hands trembling, she looked around for the doctor. He was no where in sight.
"Doctor." Nothing.
"Doctor." She tried again. And Again was met with silence.
But then she heard a low noise. Following the sound back into the surgical bay, she identified it as light moaning. She knew that voice, didn't she?
There was Chakotay, and he was obviously just waking up. Didn't the doctor say he would release him to his quarters as well?
Quickly striding over to him and laying her hands on his bare chest, she watched him come around and his gaze slowly focus on her.
"Kathryn" He sighed, his voice only a whisper, but still she could hear it was strained. "What are you doing here?"
She looked like hell. Exhausted, hair messy, her clothes wrinkled, but she looked beautiful.
"Couldn't I ask you the same?" She gave back, not really wanting to explain why she was there, "I thought the doctor released you to your quarters?"
He just shrugged slightly, "He did, but eventually he had me back here, when my condition didn't seem to improve but rather worsen."
She cast a quick glance back into the main sickbay area, making sure no one was in sight.
"Where's the doctor?"
"On the planet. He wanted to talk with Prefect Hitur, see if he can help us with this matter. He had me sedated, but well, just wore off I guess." He winced slightly as he shrugged his shoulders.
"What is it?" She asked immediately, then remembered, "Does it hurt?" Where the hell did that come from?
"When I move." He answered honestly. His gaze bore into her. She was sweaty. She was actually sweaty. And her hands on his chest trembled. Her skin was flushed and her eyes were clouded over. If he didn't know better he would say she was aroused as hell. Horny as hell.
"You didn't say why you were here." He said after taking in her appearance.
"Well..." She hesitated. She had seen him. So why shouldn't she tell him that she caught whatever he had?
"Come on, Kathryn, spill it." He urged her own.
He had her, When he sang her name like that she couldn't resist, could she?
"Seems you're contagious." She attempted a laugh but failed miserably, the sound resembling more a moan, when she shifted her weight from one leg to the other.
Chakotay lifted his hand and lay it over one of hers on his chest. The contact had her spinning and she wasn't sure her legs could really support her weight any longer. "Oh God..."
Before she knew what she was doing, her lips were on his. Not soft. Not shy. It was a full heart-felt kiss. Her tongue sought his out and she sighed and moaned into his hot mouth.
"Oh God..." She breathed again when she needed to come up for air.
"Just me." He smiled at her, his dimples showing.
There went her mind, running out of sickbay and probably light-years from Voyager. Her clothes. They itched. She needed to get them off. She needed those hands on her body. Now.
Before Chakotay could ask what she was doing she had cast her dishevelled clothes and started to climb onto the bio bed.
"Computer, lock sickbay doors, authorization Chakotay Beta Zero Eight Zero." He called before her hot mouth sought his again.
"Doors locked."
"I need you. Now." She groaned huskily. Her fingers were crawling all over his skin, tugging away the thin sheet that had covered his body and he felt like she was trying to crawl under his skin, inside him.
"Ooohhh..." He hissed when her small hand grasped his erection softly. Every contact seemed too much. But it felt wonderful nonetheless.
She rotated her hips over him, obviously trying to rub herself and he loved her for it. She was aggressive, and her moans and sighs and groans indicated her frustration at her lack of reaching what she was trying to archive. Deciding to get her out of her misery he let his hands travel between their bodies and sought out her breasts. Massaging softly and pinching her nipples into hard nubs he soon had her writhing over him.
One of his hands travelled farther south and explored her overheated centre. His thumb on her clit was too much and she jumped almost falling off the bed. Adjusting her position, she put her hands at either side of his head and concentrated solely on his hand between her legs. Oh God, she wasn't going to survive this, but she would rather die like this, than as she had felt earlier.
Considering her already aroused state it didn't take long for her to come. She felt the gush of fluids out of her and onto him, but she didn't care. It was wonderful.
But it wasn't enough.
She needed him in her. She needed to fill filled and from what she saw and from what her hand told her she would be filled. Oh yes.
Grasping for his manhood and lifting her hips slightly, she adjusted her pelvis and played his head along her folds, rebuilding the height she had just come down from and making him writhe and moan in the precess. Her gaze was fixed on him. His thumb still caressed her clit softly and she let him while she positioned his cock at her entrance. Holding him there for a couple of moments she waited for him to still his movements before she lowered herself onto him.
The sting was a telltale sign that is was far too long since she had last been this close to any man, and her wince and painful moan let Chakotay know just that. But she didn't stop until he was fully embedded within her. Pressing her pelvis onto his she brought her hips into a rocking motion, gauging his reaction to what he liked, what would bring him over the edge.
She had to admit they were good together. Had she known it, she wouldn't have waited that long. And most certainly not until they had some disease or were contaminated with whatever it was they were contaminated with.
Though Chakotay was frustrated that he could contra her thrusts, he felt pretty damn sure this was about perfect. He felt in heaven and her beginningly slow rhythm that was soon picking up in speed as she climbed into oblivion again send him spiralling over the edge soon enough.
She felt the flutter in her stomach, the tightening of her thigh muscles and the contraction of her inner muscles and knew she was about to come again, more forceful this time. She lost her rhythm and held onto him for dear life.
Her scream and the grip of her inner muscles send him over the edge soon after her.
"Oh...God...Kathhhhh..." This was it. He was sure he had never felt better in his entire life. He felt relieved and exhausted and rejuvenated at the same time. The pain in his penis was gone and he felt himself slowly softening inside of her. Catching his breath he listened to her uneven breathing. She was still trying to get enough oxygen into her lungs and her hands were still gripping his shoulders tightly.
His hand caressed her breasts and he noticed that they were still as engorged and her nipples still as hard as when they started all this. Without thinking twice he pinched her one nipple while his other hand took up the caresses where it had left off.
When his fingers touched her oversensitive clit she winced.
"No..please...I can't...too...tender..." She breathed, but moaned at the same time, arousal evident in her voice. He thrust two fingers into her sweet, hot wetness and his thumb flicked over her clit repeatedly.
"Oh God...oh God...Chak...Chak...Oh please...stop..." He wouldn't dream of it. Not now. She looked like heaven was crashing down on her. And she was about to come hard. On him. No way, he was going to stop now. It didn't take long. Her screams grew louder and she begged him to stop, yet not really wanting him too.
Then her whole body convulsed and she saw the stars coming. Everything went white and from somewhere in the distance she heard someone scream. Was that her? Then everything went black.
"Rise and shine." The doctor voice penetrated her mind slowly and her eye lids fluttered open. At the bright light she quickly closed them again, then slowly opened first one, then the other eye.
She was greeted by the doctors smiling - or was he actually grinning - face and Chakotay's somewhat worried face.
"What happened?" She quickly sat up realizing too late that she wore nothing underneath the sheet she had been covered with. As she sat up it glided down her body and revealed her breasts to the doctor and Chakotay.
She blushed immediately and quickly grabbed the sheet to cover herself.
"Nothing we haven't seen before." The doctor smirked. Smirked? Janeway gave him a death glare at that and even Chakotay though he had to suppress his grin gave him a disapproving look.
"So doctor, what happened?" The captain repeated her question.
"Well, if you don't remember..." The doctor said sarcastically.
"Doctor!" Chakotay warned him.
"Very well, then. What is the last thing you do remember, captain?" He asked down to business. The crimson that spread over her cheeks and upper body was answer enough to both men.
"Good, then I don't have to explain that." the EMH couldn't resist, "It seems your nerves were being overstimulated during your third orgasm, which made you faint. Gave the commander quite a scare and he called me immediately back to the ship. Nothing serious though, it is known to have happened before to other humanoids. I believe in ancient earth it was called "the little death", which describes the fainting of one partner during orgasm due to overstimulation of the brain. It's a rare occurrence and is thus seen as the peak of sexual fulfilment, I might add. Congratulations, captain, commander." With that he left the couple, not waiting for any reply, though by the looks on their faces he didn't think he would get one very soon.
"Kathryn" "Chakotay" They started simultaneously.
"Let me, Kathryn," He said. It was important to him that he could say this before she started to make excuses, tell him that it was all wrong, that it wasn't within their control and that it couldn't ever happen again. Protocol. Oh how he hated it, right now.
"I just want you to know, that I don't care how or why this happened. I've wanted this for longer than I care to remember. If I had had a choice it would have happened sooner and by our choosing. But nonetheless it was more to me than just a welcome relief. You are more to me than just a casual fuck." She winced at his choice of words and averted her eyes, shame washing over her, guilt.
"Hey, I love you. I do now and I've loved you before this." He said, laying his index finger under her chin and gently lifting her head to him.
Her eyes met his and she saw the truth in them, but she had still trouble believing that he could so easily forgive her.
"How can you after I used you like this?" She asked uncertainty clearly audible in her voice. Her grasp on the sheet tightened.
"Used me? Spirits, Kathryn, don't you see, what we did there was mutual. We shared that. I shared your pleasure and I like to believe that you shared mine. You did not use me." He was right. She had shared his pleasure. There was a point when she thought she could feel his pleasure rather than her own and as much as it had scared her it had only urged her on. So she only nodded, not knowing what to say. She needed to sort this out with herself first, before she tried to explain to Chakotay what was going on inside her mind, inside her heart.
"I'll get you some clothes." He said at her nod, relieved that she didn't object to his words immediately. He walked over to the replicator and then handed her the fresh uniform, before leaving for the doctors office to give her the privacy to get dressed.
"Ah, Commander, I'd like to talk to you and the Captain about what I found out while I was down on the planet. Some very interesting things about your conditions. Though, I think the Captain may not like this." The doctor greeted Chakotay upon him entering the office. They waited until the Captain joined them before the doctor continued.
"Well, your inability to use your legs was of highest interest for me and it seems I could make sense of that with a little help from the Prefect. It seems that during certain times of the day special plant on the planets produce some sort of pheromones that affects humanoids. It causes the hormone levels, especially those necessary for copulation, to rise drastically in males." He paused and looked at the commanding officers to see if they were paying attention, upon the commander's nod he continued. "You may have noticed that direct contact between the Jolitans is extremely limited?" Both nodded at this. The captain, who was rather touchy, had immediately noticed that the Jolitans never seemed to touch.
"The reasons for that are the pheromones and the raised hormone levels. While it brings the male in a state of constant arousal it also changes the chemical balance of produced body fluids, sweat, saliva, whatever...The Jolitan females only touch a male during that time of day, when they have any interest in them. If that interest is mutual the female is able to obliviously perceive the male's arousal. The female's body reacts only if she's already interested sexually. If there are any barriers, doubts, unwillingness, whatsoever in the female this perception is not possible and her body does not react to the male's arousal." The doctor looked at Janeway to gauge her reaction, see if she understood what he was telling her.
"Go on, doctor." She nodded, unwilling to think about what he had said right now. She could digest this later.
"I believe it safe to say that your raised hormone levels, captain, were in no way influenced by any extern influence. It was only your body's reaction to the commander. A totally natural process, not in he least induced by anything else. Your ability to perceive the commander's arousal only served to heighten the arousal that was already existent in you."
"That doesn't explain my paralysation, doctor." Chakotay objected, trying to save Kathryn from further embarrassment.
"Well, that is rather tricky. Another reason why the direct contact between Jolitans is so limited, as I may say, limited to their private quarters. When the female that the male is primarily attracted to is in immediate facility to the male, the chemical imbalance causes this lack of control over the legs. It seems to be a way to secure copulation. The male isn't able to get away and leaving the female in total control over her actions. If she is willing to copulate she is free to do so."
"So this is basically rape." The Captain interjected. Chakotay shot her a look and saw that she was highly disturbed by what the doctor told them.
"No, there you are wrong, Captain. The male only experiences the symptoms as the commander has when the physical attraction and the emotional attachment is mutual and very, very strong. Whatever happens, is consensual." Janeway nodded at that, slowly rising from her seat.
"If you'll excuse me, I'd like to return to my quarters now." She said.
"Of course, both of you are also on leave for two more days." He informed her as she turned around and left sickbay.
Chakotay had waited a few minutes after she had left sickbay before he went to his quarters to take a shower and get dressed properly. Since he was on leave he didn't dress in uniform but rather loose pants and a shirt.
Now he was standing at her door, pressing the chime. He needed to talk to her. She seemed distressed and he knew her well enough to recognize the guilt on her face. He wouldn't let her run from this.
"Come." She knew it would be him. She had known immediately when she listened to the doctor's explanation that sooner or later he would come to her, wanting to talk about it.
She too was not dressed in uniform, but yoga pants and a tunic. Upon hearing the doors closing and him quietly walking over to where she was standing at the viewport she turned and walked over to her replicator. "Coffee. Black." She said then turned around to him. "Can I get you anything?"
"Tea would be fine." He said, then sat down on her couch and waited for her to return with their beverages.
They sat in silence for quite some time. Chakotay watched her intensely, worried that she wouldn't meet his eyes and at the tension in her whole body. Setting his cup down on the table he decided it was now or never.
"Kathryn, look at me." At the whisper of her name she couldn't help but shudder, the memory of him saying it while they were making love gripping her mind. "Kathryn." He urged again when she refused to meet his gaze. He shifted closer to her and holding her jaw in his hand gently forced her to turn her head an look at him.
"I love you." He said simply, hoping it would get any reaction out of her.
She lifted her eyes, searching his face, searching for any sign that he was lying. Of course, she knew he wasn't. In her heart she knew, but her mind was too stubborn to accept it. A lonely tear escaped her eye as she saw the look of pure love in his eyes and recognized that there was nothing she could do to change his mind.
"I used you." She whispered.
He wiped the tear away with his thumb and slowly leaned into her to kiss the damp spot.
"No you didn't. But as I said, I love you and I happen to know, confirmed by the doctor's words, that you love me too." He whispered back, just as low as she had whispered. Than almost inaudible but loud enough for her to hear he added, "And I hope that tonight you will really use me."
A loud sob escaped her throat at his words. He was so much more then she deserved.
"Oh Chakotay, I love you."
"I know." He replied smiling against her skin while he kissed his way along her jaw to her ear and down her throat. "And I intend to use that to my advantage, to use you." He teased her and she knew it.
Whimpering lightly when his mouth found the sensitive spot behind her ear and his hand trailed along her waist she urged her body into him, urging him on. "Please..." Her hands had come around his shoulders holding him close while his mouth and hands worked their magic on her skin.
"Please what?" He asked, his hand under her tunic caressing her breast, teasing her nipple into a hard peak.
"Make love to me." She breathed, turning his head so she could see his eyes as she spoke. "Make love to me."
"Okay." He breathed back into her mouth before his lips sealed them and merged them together.
The End (or is it?)