It was starting again. Hawke inhaled deeply and tried to ignore the sickness in her stomach, but considering the fact that they had just killed a bunch of mountain spiders and were covered with their stinking blood only intensified the feeling.

"Hawke?" Aveline sounded concerned. "Are you alright?"

"Yes..."

"You don't look like you are alright", Anders interfered and came closer. She wanted to tell him to let her alone, but when she opened her mouth, the sickness became suddenly too much. With a gulp she shot forwards and vomitted behind the next bush.

Maker, what the hell was wrong with her? Since days it was now going on like this. Things that had never sickened her sudddenly made her stomach turn.

Gentle fingers helped her to held her hair back. "Sweetheart, since when do you have this nausea?"

"Don't know", she murmured and thankfully took the water bottle he offered her. "Since a few days. Maybe a week... well, maybe two weeks..."

"Every morning as well?"

"Yes."

Silence, followed by: "And do you go for... strange things to eat?"

"I don't know", she answered without thinking and enjoyed the feeling of the water running down her throat. "I mean... Yesterday I ate gherkins, and you know that I normally hate g..." Her head shot up, meeting his knowing gaze. "NO! No way. That cannot be..." But already when she finished the sentence, she knew that it actually COULD be. "Anders!" she whispered, pleading. "Can you find out?"

His brown eyes looked earnest. "Come to the clinic later."

"Is she alright?" Merrills sweet voice asked from behind.

"Yes", Anders answered instead of her. "She just ate something wrong."

Helping Hawke up, he turned with her to Aveline and the Dalish. Merrills' eyes looked artlessly at her, quite the contrary to Avelines'.

"I am fine", Jill said and forced herself to smile. "Let's go."

They never returned quicker to Kirkwall than on this day. And at the same evening Hawke had the proof that she was pregnant.

"Shit", she said when Anders confirmed it.

"Is it from the elf?" he asked, a nasty tone in his normally warm voice.

She chuckled bitterly. It was from an elf, but not THIS elf. What an irony that her only One Night Stand after three years of abstinency had let to THIS!

"Jill?"

Her head shot up, and all of her anger and frustration turned against the mage. "Don't talk to me like you have any right to know! And don't look at me with those fucking big, brown, judging eyes! You behave as if I did something utterly horrible!"

He pressed his lips together. " I am simply concerned that..."

When he fell silent, she asked: "That what?"

"That you get hurt", he eventually answered. "I thought that Fenris and you... I wasn't aware that you two are still..."

She closed her eyes and let her head fell back on the pallet. "We aren't. He isn't the father."

Fenris hadn't touched her since this night three years ago. Maker, at the beginning he had barely spoken to her, shame and anger and frustration in his eyes whenever their gazes had met.

Even though Anders stayed silent, she heard his unspoken question. Of course he wanted to know. He was her friend, and a part of her knew quite well that he had never stopped wishing to become something more. Still she could not tell him. Not yet. Right now she had to deal with this unexpected misfortune ... life... little, growing baby in her stomach... Maker, HER CHILD! ... alone.

Without giving him the answer he was waiting for, she got up and sighed: "Anders, please, don't tell the others. I... need some time for myself first."

Some time to find out how by the Maker she should manage to be a single mother in a place like this.

Because that was the only option left.

Hawke was pushing the door to the Hanged Man open and entered the bar. The sent of beer and parfum was washing over her senses, and another time her stomach coiled. She gulped and closed her eyes, breezing flatly. When she had calmed down again, she walked towards the bar where she had witnessed Isabela, talking to the bar keeper.

"Isabela!"

The rogue turned and looked at her. When she saw her face, the smile disappeared from her face. "Wow, you look like shit!"

"Thanks", Hawke answered dryly. "Can we talk?"

"Sure." Isabela was nodding upstairs, and Jill followed her to her room. When the door had closed behind them, she inhaled deeply and turned to the pirate. "I am pregnant!"

Isabelas eyes widened. "Wow. Fenris?"

"No. Zevran."

I was the first time that she faced a speechless Isabela. When the pirate found her voice again, she said: "When?"

"After we met him at the Wounded Coast. He came to me the same evening, bringing a bottle of Antivan Brandy with him. And... one thing let do another..."

"Well, what this elf does, he does properly", Isabela chuckled and added with a salacious smile: "He is good, isn't he?"

Memories shot through Jills mind: Zevrans warm breath on her face, his soft lips on hers, his skillful tongue in her mouth and on her skin, gliding down her body, licking her most intimate place with sensual delight...

"Yes", she answered, "he is."

"Best orgasm of you life?"

Suddenly tears filled her eyes, and she turned. No, not best. Second best. The best had been with Fenris, when he had been deep within her body, his body skin to skin with hers, his green eyes full of wonder and passion and need. She had never felt anything like this before, her arms wrapped around him, absolut bliss when she had peaked and feel him come as well, whispering her name...

"Hawke?" Isabelas voice sounded careful.

Without answering, Jill turned again. "You know Zevran, Isabela. How will he react when I tell him?"

The rogue smirked. "He will be delighted. Proud. Honored."

Jills throat went dry. "But he won't... ask me to marry him or something like that, will he?"

Isabela stared at her, than laughed heartily. "Zev? Maker, no." Her eyes narrowed. "This isn't what you want, do you?"

Relieve washed over Jill. "No. I want to take care of this child all by myself. I mean, I won't argue if he wants to see it, but I don't want a man in my life..."

Isabela watched her silently for a very long moment, and then smiled again. "He won't claim anything, Sweetie. He will tell you that he will support the child and you in any possible way and always come for you when you need him. But... well, to be honest: He isn't a man who wants to settle down."

Jill laughed and knew that she probably sounded slightly hysterical. "Maker, that's fine. I mean... that wasn't planned, but I guess it's fate. I never really thought about being a mother, but now that I will be, I like the idea. But I don't want any man to feel obliged to be with me."

"Don't worry", Isabela grinned. "Zev will visit you every now and then, look for the child and you, screw you properly and disappear again."

Jill laughed, feeling better now that she had clarified her biggest fear: That the assassin could try to become part of her life. No offense, but she didn't even know the elf. He had been charming, handsome, an utterly skilful lover... but nothing more.

"Alright, let's see if the others have arrived in the meantime", she said and opened the door, leaving the room.

"The others?" Isabela asked.

"I asked them to come", Jill said, not looking back. "I want them to know before rumours start spreading."

Isabela appeared next to her when she went downstairs. "I can't wait to see how they are going to react." And of course she couldn't help herself, but added: "Especially one white haired person in the group..."