Worlds Apart

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Chapter One - Snowstorm

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"Nibelheim..." Tifa whispered under her breath as the Highwind slowly descended into the long grass outside the town entrance. Seeing her hometown brought a lump to her throat as always. It was like a scene from her memory. The sky was quickly fading to black and the stars were becoming bright little pinpricks in the sky, just as she used to remember. The silhouette of the town was set against the looming, ominously pointed mountains of the Nibel mountain range. The town was deserted; yet a few lanterns swayed in the wind from the lampposts, throwing a soft glow over the cobbled courtyard. The houses seemed so empty and lonely without any lights on. The dusty snow had fallen during the day yet the night was crisp and the sky was clear. The snow piled up in the corners of the paths and against the house walls. It was nearing Christmas, Tifa realised; this was a fact that Avalanche hadn't recognised during the long battle. Now the battle was over, and there seemed to be nothing left. Resistance had been her life for so long, it was strange not to have a care in the world. Climbing down from the airship, she walked over to the village in front of her. Her village. She scooped up a handful of the snow and moulded it into a snowball absentmindedly; leaving snow caked to her leathery fighting gloves. Her hands were the only part of her that wasn't cold; but she didn't notice that she was shivering. She was incapable of feeling a thing; she felt empty inside, as if she was just a walking stuffed robot like Cait Sith. She was supposed to be starting a new life, but she didn't have anything to go back to and she didn't have anything to build a life around. It didn't feel like there was any point in life anymore.

On the deck of the Highwind, the rest of Avalanche stood and quietly said their goodbyes. Three of them were leaving here. One of them was shaking hands and promising to keep in touch, his red cloak drawn closely around him to keep out the biting cold. Another of the three was stood apart from the group, watching the last member to leave, as she stood far beneath him looking at the bright stars against the violet sky. Cloud leant against the railing and let his head bow down. The town looked so serene, so quiet... unlike its violent past. There was a distinct feeling of unease in the air, as if the town was wary about welcoming people back in case another tragedy would befall it. Cloud shook a stray section of hair out of his piercing blue eyes. Nibelheim was bringing back so many conflicting feelings inside him. The town looked just as it always did, as he remembered from the happy days with his parents when he was very young, and the not so happy times as he got older. It was the place where he felt as though he belonged, if anywhere.

He could see his house from here, and Tifa's house next door. It was the same. He felt like a little boy again. Looking down again, he watched Tifa daintily pick her way across the icy patches of the little brook that had overflowed onto the path. Watching her, he saw the little girl he had always adored. All the untold feelings from his youth flooded back at once, recalled by this perfect setting. Some memories he had not remembered until this moment passed through his mind. Memories he had never wished to forget. Showing a shy boy who couldn't show his feelings, and who kept them inside so long that they became part of him, part of his soul. Yet this man was still the same. He couldn't show his feelings, and as a result no one had realised how he cared for them until it was too late. His mom, Aeris, Zack... None of them had realised how much he needed them. Cloud shook his head and tried to blink away the images in front of his eyes. He snorted inwardly, and turned away from the railings towards the group. (Nothing's changed at all...)

After the tearful goodbyes had been said, and the PHS numbers had been swapped, the Highwind glided up from the snow-covered grass. The blast of wind as the ship lifted off blew the snow around in little whirlwinds. Cloud stood in one spot, watching the shiny airship cut away through the clear sky, as if it was flying to the stars, which were so bright tonight. The snow stuck to his hair and his clothes. The snow weighed down his spikes, which drooped over his eyes. His face seemed thoughtful, yet sad somehow. It had all come to an end. It was all over... time to get on with life and reality again. He didn't know if he had a life to get back on with. His life had just floated away on the rocket boosters of the Highwind.

Tifa watched Cloud from her seat on the old well. Vincent had left, gone to his safe room in the Shinra Mansion. He would be travelling, but for now he wanted to be left to figure out his mind again. Tifa wished she could figure out her own mind. Watching Cloud standing there, with the snow settling down again around him, she couldn't tell what he was thinking. She didn't know why he came here with her. Maybe it was to be with his past, or to figure out what to do next.... but she was sure it wasn't simply to be with her. She sighed, and closed her eyes. Sure, it felt like love, but was it really? Could you fall in love with a person who didn't love you back, who didn't even treat you any different from the rest of the group? The thing was, Tifa needed security. Cloud was the only thing she had left from her past. He was the one thing that made her feel safe, because he was familiar and he belonged to the same things as her. He was the same as her. Tifa didn't know whether she just needed someone to be there and Cloud was the only person who could fulfil that. Maybe she just felt a mixture of dependence and need. Or maybe it was more than that. She didn't know. All she knew was that the powerful attraction between them had always been there, and always would be.

She remembered a summer night, way back before Cloud had left to join SOLDIER. Tifa had been tending to the flowers in her garden. She was humming happily, idly thinking while going about her gardening. Suddenly, she felt a gaze on her. Turning around she saw Cloud was leaning on the fence watching her. Something about his eyes had unnerved her, excited her. He seemed kind of... dangerous, his eyes showed a mix of feelings which drew her in and made her want to explore every part of his mind, find out what made him the person he was. He was different from everyone else, and so had become kind of an outcast. But Tifa felt there was something special about him. Ever since that night, she had longed to get to know Cloud better. When they had been reunited in Midgar, she had finally got her wish. On getting to know him though, she still wanted more. He drew her in to him, made her want to know everything about him. When she ventured into his mind in the Lifestream, she had discovered he harboured secret feelings for her from long ago. It intrigued her, and yet she thought that there was not much chance of that turning into anything big between them, at least on his part. But there was something else there when he looked at her. Whatever that was, it was unexplainable. One thing she knew... whatever spell he had cast on her, it would never break.

She jumped as a soft voice startled her from beside her. "Boo..." She didn't need to look up to find out who it was, but she couldn't resist doing so. Cloud smiled at her. His hair was soaking wet now that the snow had melted on it. The spikes hung down over his face, yet he only looked more irresistible. His eyes shone brighter than normal, maybe because they had a happy air in them. As normal, Tifa felt her stomach flip over. It was the effect he had on her. Looking at him, she felt more like she actually did love him. It just confused her more. (What am I really feeling?) She realised she was staring, and looked away quickly. Whenever she looked into Cloud's eyes she felt like she was flying. Cloud studied her face, interested, as she seemed to blush and look away quickly at a spot in the ground, which she hardly moved her eyes from. Eventually, he tore his eyes away and watched a star move across the sky above them.

They sat there for a while, just looking at the town around them and the stars which were struggling to shine now through the newly gathered snowclouds. A few flakes started to dance down on the two. As Tifa spoke, the air seemed to repel the noise that broke the soft silence that had fallen between them. "...Such a lot has happened since we last sat here like this..." She stopped, thinking of how long it had been. In that time both their worlds had been ripped apart, and they had shakily tried to mend them. Now was the time they had to mend themselves properly.

Cloud nodded, and took a while to speak. "You know, I can't believe it... Everything we've been through, all that we've accomplished... it doesn't seem real now that I'm back here. Especially sat here with you, like this..." He swallowed. It was like another dimension here, it was worlds apart from Midgar and Shinra. None of that mattered, and all he could think about was Tifa and these feelings that had resurfaced here. (Nothing's changed... you're too scared to tell her. Too weak to go for what you want, even if you know you have nothing else...) The words caught in his throat. He wanted desperately to tell her that he couldn't think of anything else but her, that he needed to try for a future with her, but he couldn't say anything. He bit his lip. (Tell her... What have you got to lose? What will life be like without her? You need her...) He turned to look at her, and realised she was already looking at him. He blushed slightly, but didn't break eye contact. He took in her perfect ivory skin, her dark wine coloured eyes... (Wow... How come I didn't remember these feelings?)

Tifa frowned slightly. (Hmm.... He's dying to say something, I can tell...) Looking into his eyes, she could see something there that she had never seen before. (...??? Like he's got unsaid feelings or something...) His eyes held a hopeful, yet despairing look. Tifa felt her heart rise into her mouth. She knew him better than anyone, yet she'd never seen this in him before. It was unmistakable. Her voice came out in a whisper. "Cloud?" He didn't answer apart from whispering back. "Tifa..." His eyes said more than he could express in words. The couple felt themselves staring into each other's eyes, neither of them daring to break this bond and neither of them wanting to.

The snow whipped heavier around them, in a blizzard now. Tifa hugged her arms and shivered. It was times like this that she wished she had a coat. Seeing her shiver, Cloud took the excuse to get closer to her and placed his own hands over hers, shocking himself with how cold she was. He quickly pulled her in for a hug. She shivered into him as he wrapped his arms around her. He was warm, like a big teddy bear, Tifa idly thought. Her mind felt sluggish... She slowly wrapped her arms around his waist. (How come I'm feeling so slow?)

Cloud pulled her legs up until he was cradling her in his arms. She was freezing... He hugged one arm around her legs and looked at her. She smiled slightly, her eyes wide and searching, somewhat unbelieving. He couldn't blame her; he had never even hugged her before. He couldn't believe how he had acted. It was like he was a different person. Cloud swallowed. He looked at her face again. She was perfect. He felt himself drawing closer to her. He felt strange; it didn't feel like he was controlling his actions. Tifa moved her arms up around his neck and drew her face closer to his. Cloud frowned inwardly. He felt sluggish. (Its almost like I'm drunk, I'm so slow... I'm not even that cold. It can't be that...) He tried to push those thoughts from his mind as their lips met. This had been all he'd dreamt of for so long, yet he couldn't concentrate. His brain felt like it was spinning inside his head, and his eyes were hurting him badly. (What the...?)

Tifa felt her head spinning, lurching strangely as if she was moving. She opened her eyes and finally managed to pull away, defying every one of her instincts. That wasn't the only reason it took a while though; it was like she was just not responding to what she wanted to do. She looked up at Cloud. He was feeling it too; he closed his eyes, moaned softly and placed his head on her shoulder. "Teef...My head's spinning..." Cloud stopped talking and swallowed to try and clear the feeling of nausea. "What's happening?" Tifa whispered as the world span worse than before. Cloud just hugged her tighter. She froze as he gasped out, as if in pain. "Cloud?" He didn't answer. Tifa slid down to the floor of the platform around the well as she felt Cloud go limp and collapse on her. "Cloud!"

Tifa bit her lip. She was terrified now. (Is this Jenova? No...it can't be. I'm feeling it...) She held onto the support of the well to keep them on the platform, and wrapped her other arm around Cloud's waist. As the world spun so fast she couldn't see properly, the sky seemed to fill with light blue glistening symbols and stars. (What is this?)  Suddenly she felt like she was flying; it felt different to the feeling in her head. (Cloud...please be alright...) The wind and snow stopped blowing around them. Her hand that had been on the support closed around nothing. She moved it onto the back of Cloud's neck as her already blurry vision faded into darkness.