Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto, or the characters. Duh.

A/N: This is the alternate ending to my fic Simply End. To be honest, this is the ending I wanted to write more, but since I started this little series with Hiding which was KakaIru, and it was my very first fanfiction, and I started it on the KakaIru community at livejournal, I couldn't NOT write a KakaIru ending. So if you're happy with the other ending, you don't have to read this one if you don't want.

This picks up after Chapter 11 of the original Simply End. I wasn't going to go repost every single chapter that is the same, so if you stumbled on this and you haven't read Simply End, just go to my profile and read it. This chapter uses some of the Chapter 12 from the original, but has one obvious key change, and the rest of the chapters after this will be all new. Enjoy.

Chapter Twelve: Understanding

"Where it all started," the Chuunin muttered under his breath, racing through the forest. "Melodramatic bastard," he added, but he was smiling. He couldn't wait to see Kakashi, whatever the circumstances, and he was running flat-out for the training grounds where he expected to find him. He'd stopped by the Memorial Stone on the way, just in case, since that first night they really connected Kakashi had chased him from there, but as expected, that wasn't the location Kakashi was referring to.

He felt the chakra barrier now, which meant he was very close. He gathered up all his courage for what he feared might be a confrontation, because while Kakashi had claimed everything was okay between them, the situation was definitely not normal. And what if Kakashi had changed his mind while he was away? Sighing, Iruka drew a deep breath and stepped into the clearing, looking up to find his lover sitting by the gate, just as he himself had sat over three years ago.

"Kakashi," he said, the word coming out with a wretched tone, and then tried again. "Kakashi, I missed you."

The other man looked up, and Iruka couldn't read anything on the small amount of his face showing. He was worried by the blood and dirt on the uniform, but the distance in Kakashi's eye kept him from running to his side and checking him for injuries. "I somehow doubt you missed me quite as much as I missed you," Kakashi said coolly, motioning for Iruka to take a seat next to him.

Iruka did so, leaning back against the gate as well. He had no reply for Kakashi's comment, and so sat silently, waiting for whatever would come next. His lover's demeanor scared him a little, but sometimes right after a mission Kakashi could be a little cool, so he hoped that was at least part of the problem. He wondered what he was supposed to tell Kakashi about the whole situation.

Kakashi sighed. "So, are you moving out or am I?" he asked bluntly, cutting to the chase. Might as well get this over with, he figured. He really wanted to ask about the big bruise on the other man's face, but didn't feel it would make things any easier for him.

Iruka turned to look at the silver-haired man, his eyes trying to catch some sign of what Kakashi was thinking or feeling. He wanted to speak, but couldn't seem to get any words past the choking feeling, and then the tears came, and for the second time that day Iruka tasted salt on his lips. Kakashi looked at him dully, and then said, "Oh don't cry, Iruka, please. It's bad enough you're leaving me, it's not fair of you to break down while doing it."

And then Iruka put the puzzle together, remembering that he'd brought some of his old things home from Genma's that morning, and left the boxes scattered everywhere in his hurry to get the job done. 

"Those boxes… those were things I cleared out of my old room at Genma's house, my stuff from when I was younger. I wasn't packing one of us up to move, Kakashi," he choked out.

Kakashi's eye widened a bit, and suddenly he felt like a particularly slow child. "Oh," he said simply. Then he paused. "If you cleaned out your room there, does that mean Genma and Raidou made up or something?"

Iruka shook his head sadly. "Not yet anyway. I honestly don't know what's going to happen there. The last I heard was that Raidou told Genma he wanted to talk and sort things out, but that he didn't consider them together anymore. I spoke to Raidou…" he reached up and touched his jaw gingerly at this point and then added, "It went better than I expected, actually."

"Oh," said Kakashi again. He leaned his head on Iruka's shoulder, and a shudder went through him. Iruka had come back to him, and Genma and Raidou hadn't made up. He was surprised, actually, having thought at one point that the only way he really had a chance were if Genma were to become unavailable again. "I ran all the way here. Did the mission in half the time it should have taken. I was in such a hurry to get the mission over with, and get home, because after I left… even though I had a reason for going, I started to wonder if it had really been the right thing to do."

Iruka moved as if to shrug, and then aborted the motion, not wanting to disturb the head on his shoulder. "Kakashi, don't ask me about whether anything is right or wrong at the moment. I don't know anything."

Kakashi didn't know what to say to that. He didn't think he wanted to know what Iruka had done that he didn't feel right about, whether it had been whatever had passed between him and Genma, or choosing to stay with Kakashi. "What happens now, Iruka?" he asked softly, suddenly unsure.

The dark-haired Chuunin put an arm around the Copy-Nin and pulled him close. "I don't feel like I get to make those kinds of decisions right now, Kakashi. I feel like I should be trying to make my own stupidity up to you somehow, as if I've fucked things up royally and have to somehow fix it. You said we were okay, but… I'm not very proud of myself right now."

Kakashi froze suddenly, and pulled away. There was something about the tone in Iruka's voice that didn't sound right to him. He'd told Iruka he could do whatever he wanted, so if all he did was something sexual, he wouldn't have second-guessed Kakashi's decision there. So what was he so broken up over? "What is it you are ashamed of?" he asked, staring down his lover with his one visible eye, glad again of his mask as a barrier between them.

Iruka turned his head away, and then turned his whole body, so he was sitting where he could bolt through the gate at any moment. It reminded him of the first time they'd been in this place together, when Kakashi had sat with him all night, and he hadn't gone into his sanctuary after all. "I was prepared to leave you, or thought I was," Iruka admitted. "It took Gen-chan telling me what I wanted for me to stop thinking I could leave you. Can you imagine how that makes me feel?"

Kakashi's voice was incredulous. "How it makes you feel?"

A wince crossed over the scarred face, and Iruka turned back to Kakashi, pulling his knees in and resting his head on him, pulling into himself. "Of course, I'm sorry. I wasn't going to tell you, but you asked, and you know I can't lie to you."

Kakashi shook his head, and his eye was suddenly cold again. "Iruka, I told you that everything was going to be okay with us, and you could work things out with Genma any way you liked, for several reasons. First, there's the simple fact that I care about Genma too, and I wanted you to be able to help him when he was hurting. Second, I wanted to give you a chance to work out the feelings you still have there, because they have popped up occasionally over the years, and it has been hard to deal with. Third… I thought, if you really did want to be with him, it would be better for it to happen, 

to get it over with, and this seemed like the right opportunity. I did, however, mean what I said as well: I am not going to be angry with you whether you did or didn't sleep with him, and all I expected was for you to come home to me. But hearing that he had to tell you to do that… that does hurt." And then Kakashi felt the tears rolling down his own face as well, despite his hopes of hiding his own feelings behind the mask. "Iruka, is this really what you want?" he asked quietly, trying to recapture his calm.

The chuunin sat very still, forcing himself to just think about it for a moment. Of course, he'd already made his decision. He'd already told Genma that he wasn't going to be with him, and he'd done his best to get Genma and Raidou on the path to some form of reconciliation. All there was left to do was answer this one question for Kakashi, let him know that he truly was ready to be with him now, to he wanted it enough to work towards putting back together the love that had supported them both for the past few years.

He opened his mouth, and no words would come out. Instead, all that came were more tears, and he sat there staring at Kakashi, tears running down his face, for so long that his perhaps-not-anymore- lover gave in and simply took him in his arms, rocking a little.

"So," said Kakashi finally, once the darker man had seemed to calm a little. "What are we going to do, Iruka? Genma told you that you wanted to be with me, and you agreed with him, and came here with the decision already made to come back to me. And now, you can't say it's what you want. Am I supposed to keep waiting for you to make up your mind? Because I can do that, if you want me to, I can wait longer but… I won't lie to you and say I'll be happy with it."

Iruka shook his head against Kakashi's shoulder. "No, Kashi, I don't want you to wait for me. I don't think… I don't think it would do any good. Even if… Rai and Gen get back together, I don't want to come crawling back to you like some kind of runner-up. I'm hoping you can forgive me, because I really do care about you, really do love you, but… what you did for me, all of it, every single thing that has passed between us in the past three years, I don't want to spoil it all by doing something wrong for us both now. I'm never going to be ready to be with you in the way you want, to give myself to you without condition or restraint, and so we need to… end this."

Kakashi gave a slow nod and then pressed his masked lips into dark hair. He was surprised to find that he had no more tears to cry, that now that they had finally reached this point, he was ready to let go. I'm not Genma, to hold on forever. I'm not Iruka, to spend my whole life hung up on one man. I am Kakashi, and this relationship will be just one more death to mourn, one more thing I had and lost, and I will cherish it for what it was. "All right then, Iruka, we'll put an end to it," he said softly, the tone of his voice gentle and soothing. He didn't let go of Iruka, simply held him close and stroked his hair, giving him time to compose himself.

When the tears ran out, he didn't move, simply sat there letting himself be held by the very man he'd just given up. Even now he is kind to me. "Thank you, Kakashi." He spoke slowly, and moved even more slowly, gently disentangling himself and looking back so he could see the other shinobi's face. He found himself laughing, a strange desperate hysterical laugh, and finally choked out the exact words Kakashi had asked him already. "So, are you moving out or am I?"

Kakashi laughed as well, unable to resist the morose humor. "Me, for the moment. I don't really have a place to go yet, but I'm sure I can spend a few days with friends first, and then I'll find a place. I think you should probably move too, at some point, for your own sake. You don't want that place to become a haunted house for you like Genma's is for him."

Iruka nodded silently, not trusting his voice. He wanted to beg Kakashi to forget everything he'd just said, wanting to throw himself at the other man, but he didn't dare, because he knew it would just 

lead to more heartache for them both. And more than anything, he didn't want to hurt Kakashi anymore.

Kakashi hooked his fingers under his mask, and suddenly Iruka was faced with a very small, very tentative smile. Then Kakashi leaned forward and pressed his lips against Iruka's gently. "Iruka, love, I can't say that I'm not sad. And if you find yourself alone, and you want to come back to me… we'll talk, but you can't expect me to become what Genma used to be for you. I'll be your friend, maybe even your bed partner sometimes, if you feel you want that, but… I won't be your devoted cuddlebuddy who waits around for you to need him, okay?"

Another nod from Iruka, a few more tears sliding down the dark face. Then the sensei was standing, offering his hand to help Kakashi up. "No more of this. We've decided, and it's time to go. I'm going to… be out for a bit, so you can head… to the apartment and do whatever you need to do there."

Kakashi let himself be helped up, and then stood facing Iruka for a moment, holding onto his hand. "I'll be going then. Just… take care of yourself, Iruka. And if you ever need saving from yourself again… let me know. Whatever is or isn't between me or you or anyone else. Promise me that."

"I promise," said Iruka solemnly, and then added, "And you too, you know, if you ever need anything…" but Kakashi was already gone.

Kotetsu seemed carefree, buying drinks for friends that stopped by their table, cracking jokes, telling silly stories. His companion leaned back in his chair, chewing contently on a senbon, and just let himself be swept up in the tide. Later he would be impressed, thinking that this hadn't been the sort of forced cheerfulness one typically uses to try to cheer up friends, but instead a real ability to just have fun at any moment… but for right now he was simply enjoying. Izumo and Yori joined them after about an hour, after they had wrapped up the last of their work.

The little party seemed so merry, and when Raidou walked into the bar he froze for a second, seeing his… ex, you can say it… out having so much fun already after they had just broken up. Then his eyes scanned the little group again, and he realized whose face he wasn't seeing, and smiled a little. "I can do this," he told himself aloud, causing Anko beside him to smile encouragingly and grip his shoulder. "Thanks, Anko-chan. Just come say hi with me. Okay?" The kunoichi nodded, and they walked together toward the group.

Izumo, who was sitting on one side of Genma while Kotetsu sat on the other, reached out and grabbed Genma's arm, cocking his head. Genma looked up, pasted a smile on his face, and said, "Good evening, Raidou-san, Anko-san," in an awkward formal manner.

A look of confusion passed over Yori's pretty face, and she looked at Izumo, who mouthed "Tell you later," and then she spilled her drink, prompting laughter from the whole group. Some of the stiffness left Genma, and he found himself throwing one of his usual jibes in her direction, "Yori-chan, I know you're not much of a partier, but that's only your second drink!"

More laughter, and the blonde woman slouched in her chair and said, "Had a few drinks on the job, didn't you know? I'm aspiring to be like our lovely Hokage…"

Yet more laughter, but Raidou and Genma were looking at each other now across the chaos, and Genma pulled out his senbon and smiled shyly, and Raidou smiled back. When it was quiet enough to be heard, Raidou said, "We're on our way elsewhere actually, but I'll see you guys around." He paused, then smirked at Genma. "Hey, Gen, tell your boyfriend I'm sorry about his face."

Genma choked on his drink, then sputtered, "N-Not my boyfriend, and you're not sorry."



Raidou laughed, his question having been answered, waved, and linked his arm through Anko's, strolling out of the bar. Left behind, Genma gaped for a moment, and then Izumo was pressing a fresh drink into his hand, and he was downing it. "You're awfully nice for a weird little monkey," Genma said without thinking, and Izumo and Kotetsu exchanged glances around him, and suddenly all three collapsed into giggles and monkey noises, leaving Yori to eye them warily and consider escaping.