Author: TippierCoffee

Disclaimer: I do not own—nor do I claim the rights to—Codename: Kids Next Door or any of its characters. All credit goes to rightful owner: Mr. Tom Warburton. I do, however, own Marcus Gilliam, Wallace Gilliam, Sakura Sanban Beetles, and Sheila Sanban Beetles.

Inspired by the fic I'll Be by FuckMePumps (thanks to Tater06 for finding it).

Enjoy :)

The age in the parentheses is the age of Wally and Kuki. Marcus is one year older than both of them.

The Wedding.

29th of June (25).

The church bells roared in the silence of the neighbourhood, signalling the final call to make it to the wedding. If Wally had been a woman, he would most likely be in the dressing room with Kuki, giggling and gossipping. He might even have been her maid—or matron—of honour, had he been a woman. As it was, Wally was not born a woman, and did not identify as one, either. He was just Wallabee 'Wally' Beetles, best friend of bride Kuki Sanban, soon-to-be Gilliam. He sat in his seat, wood hard below him, the room filled with murmurs from excited guests. Because he was no more than a friend, he'd sneaked up to the third row, as close as possible, sitting next to some shared friends him and Kuki made during their high school and college years. There was Nigel Uno, and Hoagie P. Gilligan Jr. Abigail 'Abby' Lincoln was out back with Kuki, having earned the spot as maid of honour. They were the kind of friends you made at a slow pace, and then they were suddenly there, and you weren't sure how you hadn't had them as friends before, and when you thought back you could not remember how you all became friends, you just did.

At the altar stood a man, sporting some hundred-eighty-two centimetres or so. His stance was tall and confident, chest shot forth, chin held hight, suit screaming look at me, I am wealthy. His dark auburn hair was parted perfectly sideways, stubble covering his somewhat-hollow chins which exaggerated his cheekbones. Strong jaw and chin, squared face, alert, brown eyes, pale complexion. He could belong on a poster as a Rolex wrist watch model if he wanted, the way his genes had blessed him. Marcus Gilliam, some lawyer at some fancy company, earning more than Wally could ever dream to.

Needless to say, when Kuki had introduced him, all those years ago when they first met—with Wally's help because she was so nervous—her parents immediately liked him. He was confident and good to her, and rich. If he wanted, he could probably carry them both through a comfortable life single handedly. What was there not to like about him? Sure, since Wally harboured a secret, yet massive crush on Kuki since the age of sixteen or so, it had hurt at first. Getting introduced to get Wally's seal of approval, helping her introduce Marcus to the family, being in charge with Abby to throw the weirdest hen-party he'd ever seen—rainbow-monkey-themed, of course—and he'd been the only guy there. But in the end he wouldn't undo it, even if someone gave him a chance. Well… maybe one thing. Even now he could feel thoughts like that swirling in his mind, making him absent as he stared at the wooden floors.

What if? A big question that weighed a ton on his shoulders.

What if he'd gathered his courage to tell Kuki how he felt all those years ago, instead of hiding behind fear of losing their friendship? What if she'd liked him back the same? What if she had been his first date, his prom partner, his first time, his bride today? What if?…

But no. Wally cherished their friendship, worshipped it. It was too good to jeopardise over some cruddy one-way-feelings. Then rather bite his tongue and swallow his hurt. Because loving Kuki meant he wanted her to be happy, and she was happy with Marcus, so he was happy for her. He really was.

The grand double doors shut close at last, and everyone inside the church went so quiet you could practically hear the air move in there. A lengthy process then followed where four groomsmen escorted parents and grandparents—safe for Kani Sanban—to the two first rows. They re-entered after that, side-by-side with a maid, or matron, or whatever-the-crud-they-were. Best man and maid of honour entered, and Wally found himself realising he never saw Abby wearing dresses much when she waltzed in in it. It looked good on her, but she didn't look as comfortable as she did when wearing her usual wear. A boy around the age of ten followed in their wake—Marcus' youngest nephew—carrying the rings with pride and a massive grin on his face, both top-corner teeth missing. Mushi danced in after him, literally. She swirled around carrying a basket, pirouetting on the floor. Floor petals scattered onto the dark wood, and Wally found himself feeling sorry for whoever would have to clean that up after they left. After Mushi took her place, way too old to be the flower girl, or even junior bridesmaid—she turned nineteen before the wedding—another pause, the air thick with anticipation. Marcus rolled on his toes once, twice, then the grand piano started playing the infamous Here comes the bride tune and everyone shot to their feet. It cast its obnoxiously loud tunes against the high ceiling, making Wally's ears ring because of the stark difference between the quiet and the… well, not-quiet.

Kuki stepped in, a hand curled around Kani's elbow, and Kani walked with a brave face, shattering more by the minute. His lips were already trembling, but he didn't hold Wally's attention for long. He couldn't, because beside him, Kuki looked like a dream. Too good and beautiful to be true, soaring across the floor, her pearly white teeth showing because of her wide smile. She wore a long ivory dress, fitted to hug her body in a gentle embrace. It ended just above her ankles, giving show to the small heels she balanced in, no mistake, no stumbling. It had no sleeves, the top a heart-shape where fabric from the right side crossed over to the left side, tugging the fabric with deliberate crinkles. By her waist, following the dress all the way around and enhancing her petite frame, sat a three-row diamond belt, sparkling in the light. Her neck and ears were decorated with the gem as well, and in her hair, an elastic band which could only be fake, maybe even rhinestones, shimmered and sparkled. Her warm, over joyous, autumn-coloured eyes sparkled along with them. Red rouge coated her cheeks discreetly, golden eyeshadow teased the top of her brow, her lips a warm, peach-pink colour. She turned her eyes as she passed, and caught Wally's, and in that moment, the world stopped.

What if?

What if he hadn't been a coward, what if he told her, what if she married him instead of Marcus? What if, what if, what if he could allow himself to stare, and stare, and never tear his eyes away from her, and drink her in, and never breath, and whisper to her in the night. I love you, I love you, I love you. And what if it was still not too late? He could protest to the wedding, shoot to his feet when the priest asked if anyone objected, say it loud and clear, echoing against the walls. I object because I love this woman. What if?…

Kuki would be mad if here ever did that. He couldn't embarrass her like that on her special day. Not when she looked so absolutely, undeniably happy. In seventh-heaven, swaying over next to Marcus as Hoagie pulled down Wally with a jolt, and the bride and groom locked eyes and smiled. Smiled for the world to see, eyes glistening, tears sowing in hers. She was so happy, and Wally… Wally couldn't take that away from her. Not now, not here, not in front of all of these people. He'd lost eons ago, and it hurt. It tore apart his soul, ripped his heart to shreds, disintegrated his intestines and left him hollow, only a sack of breath. In, out, survive. Exchange oxygen for carbon-dioxide. In and out. Mouth, lungs, heart, blood, heart, lungs, mouth. In, out, automatic, no thought. The world was blurry around him, sounds barely breaking through to his consciousness. Like he was underwater. Drowning, aching, dying.

The priest asked if anyone objected, and Wally realised he'd missed everything but those words. Those exact words, his mind struggling against itself. I do, I do, I do! But no one spoke up, not even him, so the ceremony continued, and Wally looked down, eyes burning, ears ringing, head spinning. They shared the kiss, he heard it, and it cut right through his heart, but it was better than watching. Watching would burn him to the ground, spread salt in the wound.

She was happy, and that was all that ever mattered. Because she was his best friend, because he loved her.

What if?…

2016 rewrite.

Criticism and/or advice on improvement is always welcome and highly appreciated.

~*~TippierCoffee~*~