Rosalie: Hello?
Bella: Rosalie? Please. I need your help.
Rosalie: Bella?
Bella: No, it's Morgan Freeman. Do you have any bones that need collecting?
(long pause)
Rosalie: What's wrong?
Bella: I'm pregnant.
Rosalie: What? Honest to blog?
Bella: Yeah. I'm shocked, too.
Rosalie: Is it... Edward's?
Bella: Of course it's Edward's. Who else's would it be?
Rosalie: That's impossible. It's probably just a food baby. You humans have to eat disgusting amounts of food to stay alive. Did you have a big lunch?
Bella: This is not a food baby, alright? I have a bump on my stomach that's all hard and there's something moving in there. I am, for shizz, up the spout.
Rosalie: It's moving? Creepy. So it's like, half-vampire and half-human? Do you think its teeth could, like, scratch your vag on the way out?
Bella: Hey, I'm telling you I'm pregnant with a half-vampire baby and you're acting shockingly cavalier.
Rosalie: Is this for real? Like, for real, for real?
Bella: Unfortunately, yes.
Rosalie: OMG! Phuket, Thailand!!
Bella: There you go. That was kind of the emotion I was searching for on the first take.
Rosalie: So... what are you going to do?
Bella: (pauses) I want to keep it.
Rosalie: Keep it?
Bella: Yeah, that's why I need your help. Edward and Carlisle want to get rid of it. We can't let them. I want this baby.
Rosalie: I'll help you, Bella. I'll do whatever I can.
Bella: Thank you.