Title: Promise Me
Author: Misha
Posted: 06-12-2004
Email:
Rating: PG-13
Category: Angst
Content: A/C friendship, budding romance. A/B romance (only a bit).
Summary: Angel and Cordy go to Sunnydale for Christmas to help cheer Angel up when feelings are discovered.
Spoilers:
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution:
Notes: Beginning of Reunion with my own twist. Drusilla turns Darla, but Angel was forced to kill her and didn't get his ass kicked in the process. Made his way make to hotel and is brooding. On BtVS, Riley didn't leave yet. He's thinking about it and had the talk/bonding moment with Spike already.
Feedback: Yes, please? It's all I got now since Angel has left me.
Thanks/Dedication:
Part 1: Morning. Los Angeles, Ca
Angel walked into the hotel. Cordelia, Wesley and Gunn all turned to him. He took off his coat, noticing the dust that fell from it. His frown deepened. She was gone. He had tried to save her and had failed.
"Angel?" He didn't know who was talking to him. The voice was a blur and seemed to drift further and further away. Or maybe he was the one slipping out of reach. His legs felt weak and he knew he couldn't make it up to his room. He sank into the couch and covered his face with his hands, eyes shut tight as the urge to break hit. He felt the weight of someone on the couch next to him, heard the soft sound of the wood creak and could see the shadow of two people in front of him through his eyelids. His skin stung and felt raw from the cross room and the Holy water. He felt a hand grab his and move them away from his face. He turned his head, brown eyes meeting hazel.
"What's wrong?" Her voice was soft and concerned. He looked in front of him and saw Wesley and Gunn, worried expression on their faces as well.
"Darla's dead." He knew his words would have no meaning with these people. "I tried to save her. I couldn't, she couldn't be cured. But…she was okay. She didn't care, she understood. Then they came, they came and changed her and I, I had to kill her. I let them turn her and I couldn't stop them." The three exchanged glances, turning sympathetic looks to Angel.
"I'm so sorry Angel. I know you wanted to save her." He looked at Cordelia and she knew that whatever she said would have no effect. It went in one ear and out the other.
"Some champion I am." He muttered, standing up. "How am I supposed to help people when I can't even protect the woman I…the people I care about?"
"Angel-" She tried, but he just shook his head.
"No Cor. It's true. I failed. I'm a failure." He sighed and went upstairs, shutting his door, closing himself off from the world and his friends. She looked at Wesley and Gunn.
"Cordelia?" Wesley asked. She smiled, nodded and went upstairs to talk to him. He heard the knock of the door and said nothing when she came in. Closing the door behind her, she noticed that Angel was in what she called his "Brooding" chair. He followed her with his eyes as she sat on the bed. She reached her hand over and grabbed his. He didn't protest. In fact, he just clasped hers in return. Cordelia felt the unusual heat of his skin.
"Angel? Why does your hand feel hot?" She left him for a second to turn on the light, then she came back, rolling his sleeve up and seeing the red burns. "Oh my God. What happened?"
"Stuck my arm in Holy water." The look she gave him was priceless and finally put a smile on his face, even if it was a small one.
"Why, why would you do that?"
"I had to get the key to open the door." They looked at each other for a moment and exchanged a soft laugh.
"We'll just leave it at that." She looked at him. "I won't pretend I know how hard this is for you. I don't. But if you need me, you know where I'll be. I'm here for you. We don't want you up here brooding all day and night. I don't know how you feel, but we still have helpless people out there to save." She gave him a sympathetic smile. "I really am sorry." Then she left the room.
Part 2: Internet Exchange. Sunnydale, Ca
WitchyWoman98: So he's been locked in his room for three days?
TheWarriorsSeer: Yeah. It's crazy. I mean, I don't know what he's going through. But how can I if he won't talk to me?
WitchyWoman98: You can't Cordy. He's Angel. He broods.
TheWarriorsSeer: But he hasn't! He wasn't brooding at all Will! I just want to snap him out of it. I've come close…damn close, but something always goes wrong. We've all tried.
WitchyWoman98: I got an idea! We're having a Christmas party thing. Maybe you guys could come up. All of you.
TheWarriorsSeer: I don't know. It'd be like stepping out of the frying pan and into the flame.
WitchyWoman98: You're right. Especially with Riley here and all.
TheWarriorsSeer: I don't know. Maybe it'll make things better. It could work. I mean, he hasn't been broken up over Buffy in forever. Maybe he's over her.
WitchyWoman98: Yeah! It'll be a lot of fun. Plus we have some demon issues. We could really use an almost invincible, super strength vampire on our side.
TheWarriorsSeer: That could be perfect. He definitely needs to pummel an evil baddy. Everything's been really quiet around here lately. A case will take his mind off things.
WitchyWoman98: Hitting something always seemed to kind of make him feel better.
TheWarriorsSeer: Yeah. Oh! I got to go. It's alive! And…it's bugging me about my filing system again! Don't worry. I'll convince him to go and I'll see you this weekend. Bye Willow!
TheWarriorsSeer: has signed off.
Willow's head turned to the door as Buffy and Riley dragged a semi-conscious Xander into Giles' home.
"Hey guys! What's up?"
"Nothing really. Vampire slaying, it's crazy out there Will."
"Uh. Speaking of crazy, you'll never guess who I was just talking to."
"Who?" Buffy asked, letting Xander fall to the couch as Anya came over to tend to his bruises.
"Cordelia." The gang turned to her.
"Who's Cordelia?" Riley asked.
"Xander's ex-girlfriend." Anya said. "Did you call her?" She asked her boyfriend accusingly. "Does she want you back? She does, doesn't she? She can't have you! You're my boyfriend now and she's not taking you away from me and-"
"She doesn't want Xander back Anya." Willow started. "She was actually kind of worried about Angel." Buffy's eyes darted to Willow and her body stiffened. Riley noticed. "I guess he's got the Christmas blues. She's worried and I suggested that, well, that they come up for the little party thing and help us with our vampire issues."
"You did what?" Xander yelled. "Right! Because we really need Dead Boy bringing everyone down."
"Xander. They're coming. Cordy's going to convince him and they'll be here Friday night."
"Will. I don't know if this is a great idea."
"Buffy. It's Angel. You know how he gets around Christmas. And I really don't think you want him doing the, 'I'm walking into the sun light,' thing again."
"I wouldn't mine."
"Xander!"
"Fine, fine. I'll try to play nice, if I have to. Do I?"
"Considering how many times he's saved your ass, I'm thinking yeah." Buffy snapped. Riley shot her a look, but she ignored it. "So he's just got the, 'I hate Christmas,' thing going on?"
"Yeah. That and, well, he had girl trouble."
"Huh? How?"
"It's a long story. Short version is the woman he was with got turned and he had to kill her."
"Angel had a girlfriend? But, I thought he couldn't-" Buffy's voice showed hurt.
"He didn't sleep with her Buffy. But he's down and Cordy thinks-"
"Cordy thinks?"
"Xander. She's smarter than you." Xander frowned and Willow's voice softened. "Anyway, I have to get going. I'll see you guys later." She left, followed by Anya and Xander.
"Bye Giles." They all called into the kitchen, where he was fixing himself a cup of tea.
"Wanna head to your dorm?" Riley asked, trying to draw her attention back to him. Unsuccessfully thought. She shrugged. Her mind was on other things.
Part 3: Road Trip. The Freeway.
Cordelia grabbed her suitcase and threw it in the trunk of Angel's car, along with his.
"Where's everyone else's stuff?" Angel came outside, throwing some more junk in his car.
"Wes isn't going. He's staying in town with Virginia. And Gunn's crew needs him, so he's staying in town too. I can reach them both on their cells if something comes up.
"So…it's just you and me."
"Yup." A beat, "You ready?"
"As I'll ever be. Let's go?" He nodded and opened the passenger's door for her. Then went to the driver's seat and slid in. She smiled and pushed in a cd. The music played and he gave her a look.
"What the hell is this?"
"Road trip music. It's fun." He shook his head and smiled back, starting the car.
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"For trying to cheer me up. And for making me smile."
"That's my job. I AM Super Seer." He smiled and made his way through the town pulling on to the freeway. Minutes passed and the cold breeze gave Cordelia goose bumps.
"Are you cold?"
"Just a little. My sweater wasn't exactly made for warmth." With a move that was pure Angel slickness, he removed his coat and handed it to her, hands still on the wheel.
"What about you?" She asked.
"Vampire. I don't really get cold.
"Yeah. I know. But this is your coat. I thought you'd explode without it or something."
"Shut up." He said, playfully. She smiled, leaned back and closed her eyes. She was so tired. Eventually, Cordelia dozed off. When she woke up, about an hour later, she was leaning on Angel. She inhaled softly.
"You're awake."
"Mmm-hmm." She inhaled again.
"What are you doing?"
"You smell good." He let out a small chuckle.
"Oh really?"
"Yeah. Really good. Like…I don't know. Musky, a good musky, but still Angel-y."
"You smell good too Cordy."
"Oh? Well, tell me Mr. Super-Sniffer, what do I smell like?"
"Like honeysuckle and…cinnamon." She laughed.
"Gotta love Avon." She paused for a second. "Is this uncomfortable?"
"What?"
"Me? Leaning on you?" Seeing his confused look. "I don't want you getting a cramp or something while driving." He stared at her, knowing there was definitely a deeper meaning. But he let it go.
"No. I'm good."
"Good. Then I can go back to sleep." She got comfortable and kept her head on his shoulder. He wrapped a hesitant arm around her and she clutched it to her. He looked down at her surprised as she drifted off to sleep again. He steered with his left hand, fear suddenly creeping into his body. He hadn't seen Buffy in over a year. How the hell was he going to do this?
A soft yawn drew his attention and he looked down at the sleeping young woman and knew she would help him every step of the way. The freeway was abnormally calm and quiet. It was a pleasant drive. The closer they got to Sunnydale, the more his brain was flashing the WARNING light. His mind was trying to make him see how hard this would be, but the soft breathing of his best friend kept him calm. Even as he saw the sign that read, "WELCOME TO SUNNYDALE."
Part 4: Arrival. Sunnydale, Ca
Cordelia opened her eyes and gave Angel a slightly embarrassed smile when she realized she was still asleep on him. She regained her senses and realized they weren't moving. They were parked in front of a house. Buffy's house.
"How long have we been parked out here?"
"Ten, twenty minutes. You were asleep, I didn't want to wake you."
"You scared?"
"Petrified."
"Aw. You need Cordy support?"
"The only kind that works."
"Okay Big Guy. Unneeded breath, work up some nerve, and let's go annoy your ex."
"We're not here to annoy Buffy,"
"Fine. I'll annoy Buffy, you annoy Riley." He rolled his eyes.
"Let's just get this over with." She grabbed his arm and kept him from getting out of the car.
"Oh no. You so aren't going in there with that attitude. We're here to make you not so broody. Thus, Christmas party. Candy canes, presents, mistletoes, egg nog?"
"Mistletoe?"
"Yeah. As long as I don't have to kiss Xander, I'm happy. 'Cause, so did that before and ewwww."
"Okay, okay. I'll try to have fun."
"That's all I ask. Now come on." They got out and Angel knocked on the front door. It opened and a smile appeared on Willow's face.
"Angel! Cordy! You guys made it." She gave Angel a hug and he returned it awkwardly. Then she gave Cordy a hug and Angel felt warmth spread through him they were graced with her 100-watt smile.
"I told you I'd get him here."
"I'm glad you did. Come on in guys." Willow led them to the couch and Xander stared at them, Anya at his side.
"Xander." Angel said, acknowledging his presence.
"Dead boy." Willow sent him a look.
"Xander, shut up." Xander looked at Cordelia, who was holding Angel's hand to keep him from walking back out to the car and leaving. Xander's brow furrowed. Why his hand though? He thought.
"Cordelia.," She looked at her ex. "You look…beautiful."
"Thank you." She smiled. "You don't look to bad yourself. Been working out?" He shrugged.
"A little." Anya nudged him hard in the side and he coughed. Angel raised an eyebrow and snorted.
"What?" She whispered to him.
"He's checking you out."
"Is not. His girlfriend's right there Angel."
"Look at his eyes." She did. "He wants you."
"He does not."
"He want you Cor. Bad. He wants to hit that."
"Ewwww!" She screeched, gaining everyone's attention. "Angel! You've been hanging out with Gunn TOO much!" Hearing Cordelia's screech, Buffy, Riley, Dawn and Joyce came downstairs.
"Angel." Buffy said in a whisper.
"Angel!" Dawn wasn't as silent.
"Dawny!" He said, standing up. "Come give us a hug!" She ran into his arms, squeezing him hard enough to knock the air out of a normal man.
"Oh my God! I missed you sooooo much!" She let him go and he gave her a smile, making her melt. "You know, I'm a year away from the same age Buffy was when you started dating her."
"Actually Dawn, Angel's given up statutory rape."
"Cordy!" She gave Cordelia a hug and the two sparked up a conversation. Angel noticed Buffy and her mother.
"Angel. What are you doing here?" Angel smiled at Mrs. Summer's attempt to sound casual. She was suspicious of his intentions on coming here and he could tell.
"Don't' worry Joyce. I'm just here for a visit."
"Oh. Well, it's nice to see you then."
"You too Joyce. You look amazing as always. And your hair…wait, don't tell me. High lights."
"Yes." She said a little surprised. Riley leaned in towards Buffy.
"Did you know she got high lights?" Buffy shook her head.
"They look really nice." Angel told Joyce. Despite herself, she smiled and blushed slightly.
"Thank you Angel."
"You flirting with my mom Angel?" He smiled at Buffy, nearly freezing her in place. What was with all the smiling?
"Possibly. She's a good looking woman."
"That's disturbing and Jerry Springer worthy.
"Can I get a, 'Hello'?" She walked up and gave him a hug. He slowly returned it.
"It's good to see you Angel."
"You too Buffy." He pulled away and smirked. "This is the first time we've seen each other on good terms."
"I know." He looked at Riley.
"Hey Farmboy." Good terms were lost.
"Angel!" Buffy yelled angrily.
"Look! It's Mr Billowy-Coat-King-of-Pain!"
"Riley!" Buffy yelled again.
"I still can't believe you sleep with this guy." He looks them over, eyes switching between them. "Or should I say slept? Weren't man enough for her, huh?"
"At least I can actually have her. It must kill you to know you can't touch her." Buffy's jaw dropped and Cordelia saw red. Who did this guy think he was?
"It must kill you to know every time you're with her, she'd rather be with me."
"I'm going to love killing you."
"Try it. See how fast you're knocked on your ass." The two glared at each other, ready to charge. Buffy grabbed Riley's arm and Cordelia grabbed Angel.
"This isn't why we're here!" Cordelia yelled, smacking him in the chest.
"I would hope not!"
"Really not helping Buffy!" She pulled Angel away. "You need to calm down."
"I can't stand him."
"Can't say that I blame you. But I don't think we're going to be welcomed here if you go all Vin Diesel on a Scooby!"
"Remind me why we came again."
"Make you happy."
"Fighting with him makes me happy."
"Angel…"
"I know." His head fell. Her tone softened.
"Hey. No brooding either, kay?" He nodded. "Promise me Angel."
"I promise." A second passed and he looked at her. "Cordy?"
"What?"
"Who's Vin Diesel?" She rolled her eyes and smiled. He was so adorable clueless.
On the other side of the room, Riley was receiving a lecture as well.
"I still don't get why he's here!"
"I don't know the story either, but he's here to spend Christmas with us."
"Why?"
"He gets bummed around the holidays.
"This is my issue how?"
"He's a friend. And friends don't let friends be gloomy during Christmas."
"He's not my friend." Buffy was getting frustrated with her boyfriend.
"Well, he's ours, so cool it." They all returned to the center of the living room.
"So…" Cordy started, "as exciting as that truly was, I heard you guys are having some vamp issues."
Part 5: Battle Field. Sunnydale, Ca
The conversations had started up when Giles walked in. He was surprised to see Cordelia and Angel, but he didn't mind the extra strength or the extra people to get him through the never ending supply of books.
"I still think we should patrol."
"Of course you do. Gives you a chance to hit something." Buffy glared at Cordelia and she happily returned to look. She was pissed at the slayer for taking Riley's side. Boyfriend or not. Even though Angel started it...
That wasn't the reason Buffy wanted to patrol. She needed to talk to Angel, find out what was up with this mystery woman who had him so upset.
"I don't know Buffy." Giles said in his father-knows-best tone. "I don't think it's wise. We don't know what we're going up against."
"But the vampires still have to be killed Giles." She argued.
"I think I have to agree with Buffy on this one Rupert." Angel said from the couch. Dawn was holding onto his arm, head on his shoulder and Cordelia was sitting at his other side.
"That's a surprise." Cordelia muttered, receiving a look from an annoyed look from Buffy and Angel, and a sad one from Riley.
"I'm just saying that, regardless if we know why there are so many-"
"Members of your family running around?"
"Vampires." Angel emphasized the word. "They're still here and can still do damage."
"He's right." Buffy agreed. She stood and put on her jacket. It was unusually cool in Sunnydale, despite the time of year. "We'll be keeping ourselves ready for whatever happens." She watched Riley get up and grab a couple weapons.
"Yeah." He said. "Keep ourselves warm."
"Good idea Farmboy." Angel didn't pay attention to the frustrated and angry look on Riley's face. He stood up and put on his coat, turning to Cordelia. "You coming?" She gave him an unbelieving look.
"Uh…I don't think so. Spending time in a cemetery where I could suffer a slow, painful death? Not really how I like to spend my Friday nights." He gave her a small smile.
"And here I was craving ice cream. You going to make me get a sugar high all by myself?" He pouted. She smiled back as he stuck out his lower lip, trying to deny him, but unable to.
"No. I can't resist the puppy dog face. But you are so paying."
"A gentleman always does." He tossed her a stake and a crossbow. The Scoobies stared at the two. What the hell was going on?
"Think a little ass kicking'll cheer you up?" She watched him arm himself to the bone.
"That and some non-needed sugar? Definitely. Always does." They waited for the surprised Buffy, and Riley, to join them before they made their way to the cemetery.
"I think we should split up."
"Buffy's right." Riley agreed. Angel rolled his eyes and Cordelia elbowed him in the side.
"Yeah. Buffy, Riley. You two can hold your own so, you can split up. Cor-"
"I can handle myself Angel."
"I'd feel safer if you were with me."
"Hello! Crossbow, stake and Holy water. I'm good." She started walking away.
"If you need me, just scream!" He called after her. "I'll be there in a second!" She just flipped her hand at him and disappeared. Riley heard something and made his way in the opposite direction as Cordelia.
"Good." Buffy said. "You and her…split up. Not together. Better the odds."
"Not of her surviving if she finds a group of vampires before I do."
"She'll be fine. If she needs you, she'll scream. You'll hear it and go running." He gave her a quizzical look. "I kind of need to talk to you."
"Well, I could let her be alone for a while. She has weapons, after all."
"Good." They started to walk, looking out for any demons. "This brings back memories."
"Uh-huh." Images that didn't need to be brought up flashed through their minds. "So, what did you want to talk about?"
"I was just a little curious. You know? About this new flame in your life?"
"Huh?"
"The girlfriend. The one you had to…you know." She made a staking motion, surprised with how dark his face got. He couldn't believe how insensitive she was about the topic.
"Actually, I don't know if I'm ready to talk about this yet."
"I understand." She lied, a little hurt that he couldn't confide in her. But you can tell Cordelia? She thought.
"She wasn't really my girlfriend. I cared about her, yeah. A lot. But we weren't together. It just was hard that I couldn't help her. I couldn't save her." There was a long silence.
"I know this probably makes me a horrible person, but I'm relieved." It was the second time that night that Buffy had received that confused look from him. She wasn't used to that look. "I just, when I heard you were involved with someone, it was one of the hardest things I've had to deal with. Well, try to deal with."
"Now you know how I feel about you and Riley. It's not easy." She turned to him. He was so close, she didn't know how she was going to be this close to him for the next few days.
"So you don't think I'm a horrible person?"
"I don't think I ever could." Angel leaned in and she stepped back. His brow furrowed, hurt apparent in his eyes. She was about to argue, but he just continued talking. "Don't do that. Don't make me think I'm alone in these feelings when you know, you know you wanted to kiss me back." He moved in again, arm wrapping around her body and bringing her against him. He swooped his head down for the kiss and she didn't pull away this time.
Buffy couldn't believe this was Angel. The nerve he suddenly had. The aggressiveness. But she knew it was wrong and pushed him away. He stumbled back.
"What am I doing?" She turned to him accusingly, needing to place the blame somewhere. "What are you doing?"
"Me?"
"Yes! You! You know I have a boyfriend!"
"Well, I didn't see you stopping me!"
"Because, because it surprised me! I was caught up in the moment!"
"Yeah, well, you weren't complaining,"
"Don't pin this on me! This is you! And you come here, looking all dark and cool and sexy and like you don't even care that I noticed!"
"I don't get dressed every day thinking, 'Gee, will Buffy think I look good?'"
"Well, I-" The argument ended when they heard a loud, startling scream.
"Cordelia." Angel moved away from Buffy.
"She's probably just making sure you'd come." Another scream was heard. Louder, then muffled. Riley came running and met them.
"You heard it too?" He asked, none the wiser as to what had just happened between Buffy and Angel.
"That isn't a testing scream." Angel said, running in the direction of the noise. Buffy and Riley sprinted behind him, trying to keep up. "Cordelia!" Angel called out. He concentrated and heard muffled cries. He reached the surprisingly open area and saw her on the grass, back to the ground.
A vampire was on either side, holding her down by her shoulders and arms. Another vampire positioned above her, head moving toward her neck. She screamed, but the hand of the grungy looking vamp above her silenced her cry. His fangs punctured her skin, her eyes widening. They teared, then squeezed shut in pain.
Angel went into action and the vampire turned to dust, falling on Cordelia. The other two looked stunned and Cordy took the advantage to pull her right arm away, reached for a stake, dusting the one to her left. Angel fought the other one, killing it quickly. He turned his attention to her, reaching out a hand. She took it and he pulled her up. She fell against him, lightheaded from the blood loss.
"You okay?"
"Peachy."
"I told you to let me come with you."
"I don't need a baby-sitter."
"Oh, really? Looked like you did now."
"Three against one Angel. I don't have super strength like your little girlfriends."
"So maybe you should let me help you. Or maybe it was those damn shoes. I don't know why you wear them. We're going patrolling, not shopping."
"When you get tackled, you fall Angel! It has nothing to do with the shoes!" She looked at him. "Now take me back to Buffy's before I pass out." He didn't argue, just held her to him as they walked so she wouldn't fall. He looked at her. She was shaking and looked extremely pale.
"Riley?" Riley looked at Angel surprised by his tone and the fact that he didn't call him Farmboy. Buffy was surprised too. "Can you help her stand up for a second? Her body's really weak." Riley looked from Angel to Cordelia and took her shaking form. Angel slipped off his coat and wrapped it tightly around her. It wasn't warm, but it kept the wind from hitting her. "Thanks." Riley nodded.
Cordelia fell into Angel's arms, legs giving out on her. He caught her and picked her up, carrying her the rest of the way. She snuggled closer to him before losing consciousness. Angel listened to her breathing and heart rate. It wasn't unsteady or too low.
"Is she okay?" Buffy asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence. She could still feel Angel's lips on hers, even though they had long ago left.
"She'll be fine. Just needs some rest."
"Well, my mom and Dawn invited you two to stay with us. We have a guest room. They probably made it up by now."
"All right. I'll take Cor up to the room."
"And you?" She asked, concerned.
"Anyone occupying the living room couch?"
Part 6: Suspicions. Sunnydale, Ca
Angel carried Cordelia into the Summers' home. He had not put her down the entire walk back. Not even when she regained consciousness a couple houses down. It didn't matter and she didn't protest. Just buried her head comfortably in his chest. An action that didn't escape Buffy's eye.
Inside, Angel laid her down on the couch. The group huddled around as Angel leaned in front of her, holding her hand. His fingers stroked small circles on her skin, sending little blots of electricity through her. That's new. She thought.
"Anything you need? Water, soda, something to eat? Anything?"
"Angel. I'm fine, really."
"You sure? Because if you want something, don't matter what, I'll go get it."
"Angel."
"Really. Anything. Anyting you want Cordy. Just say it."
"Well, you never got me that ice cream."
"Ice cream? No problem. What flavor? I'll go get it." He went to get up and she pulled him back down.
"I'm just kidding." It was then, with his senses fully alert, he felt his presence. With a gold flash in his eyes, fangs ready to elongate, he growled the other vampire's name.
"Spike."
"Hey Peaches. How ya doing?" In a second, Angel had Spike by the throat, pushing him into the wall. "Bloody hell! What's this all about?"
"I should rip your head off." Riley smiled as Willow and Giles stammered an explanation as to why Angel shouldn't kill Spike. Maybe I'll get lucky and they'll kill each other. Riley thought, event though it looked like Angel had the upper hand. "Did I mention I was sorry about that whole torturing you thing?" In response, Angel pulled Spike forward then slammed his head backwards into the wall. "I'm good now you bleedin' wanker!"
"You tortured Angel?" Buffy said, anger in her voice.
"Only twice. One you know about. Now let go of me!"
"Angel," Cordelia said. "Just let him go."
"But Cordy he-"
"I know. I was there, remember?"
"I sure do, pet. And might I say, you are certainly growing into yourself." Spike's head was slammed against the wall again, harder this time. "What the hell! Like you weren't thinking the same damn thing. Unless that soul's taken your interest in woman along with your-"
"Look at her again and you're dead."
"Sorry mate. Didn't see your mark on her…didn't know she was yours." Angel let Spike fall to the floor.
"She's not."
"Than I guess I got a shot." Angel snorted.
"No chance in hell. She has taste."
"Guess that's why you ain't getting' any." Angel shook his head, sending Spike a sympathetic look and walked to Cordelia. She grabbed onto his arm as he helped her up the stairs. He shut the door behind them and dimmed the lights. She yawned in response to the dark.
"You okay now?" He asked softly.
"I should ask you the same question. Someone got you in brood-mode fast and I don't like it."
"I'm not brooding. I'm fine."
"Angel. You were even yelling at me. What's up?"
"Nothing."
"Come on. What's wrong?"
"I don't want to talk about it!" He snapped.
"Whoa! You need to calm yourself down. I was just asking you a question!"
"No! You were pushing!"
"Hey! It's not my fault your ex-girlfriend is screwing someone else!"
"No! But you're the one that dragged me down here in the first place!" She looked at him, the fire distinguishing from her eyes.
"I was just trying to make you feel better." She pulled the blankets up to her neck, shielding herself off from him.
"Cordy, I…" Angel knew it was no use. She was closing herself off from his excuses and meaningless apologies. He sat on the chair, watching her sleep, listening to her heart beat that was steadily getting stronger. Eventually, he fell asleep on the chair, the sound like soothing music to him.
A half an hour later, Angel woke up. He stood up, rolling the knots out of his back and shoulders, and walked downstairs. On the couch were two pillows and a blanket.
"Thanks Dawn." He muttered, slipping off his shoes and pulling the black sweater over his head. Lying down, he groaned as the knots in his back and shoulders returned. "I forgot how uncomfortable this couch was." He lay there, staring at the dark ceiling for about an hour. But it felt so much longer.
Cordelia yawned and woke up from her light sleep. She looked at the chair and didn't see him there. With a stretch, she got out of the bed and made her way downstairs. In her own room, an awake Dawn saw the shadow through the crack in her door. Her curiosity sparked. When she knew Cordelia was downstairs, she got out of her room, listening and watching quietly from the top of the stairs.
"How did you know I'd be awake?" Angel asked Cordelia.
"I know you." She walked to the side where his head was. "Up." He went to sit up. As soon as she was seated, she put a pillow on her lap and had him lay back down.
"Is this a new form of therapy?"
"You like it?"
"Yeah." I'd like it a lot more if that pillow wasn't there separating me from your skin. Angel's mind froze. Where did that come from? He dismissed that thought. It brought up things that couldn't be explored. His mind came back when he felt a soft warm hand running through his hair, along with perfectly manicured finger nails scratching along his scalp gently. Dawn noticed and it interested her even more. Angel groaned softly and Cordelia smiled.
"Feel good?"
"You know it does." There was a comfortable silence that passed between the two and she continued her ministrations. "You trying to get me relaxed?"
"Well, I don't want you all tense and growly."
"I know. About that whole yelling at you thing? I'm sorry."
"Don't worry about it." She stopped and Angel missed her touch so badly it hurt. But not as much as the realization that he had hurt her. That's why she was pulling away. As soon as he broke through a wall, he forced her to put up another.
"No, Cordy. It's not. I really am sorry. Anything. Anything I can do to make it up to you-"
"How about you talk to me Angel. I'm your friend. I'm here when you need to talk to me. So…talk. I'm not stupid. I know when something's wrong with you. I know you're hurting. Because when you hurt, it hurts me too." Her voice was cracking and the emotion in the room was so thick. He breathed in shakily and she started to caress his face.
"It's just so hard. It wasn't supposed to be this hard." Dawn heard something in Angel's voice she had never heard before. He was usually all strong and dark and cryptic. Now, he was in pain and you could hear it in his voice.
"It's okay Angel. I'm here."
"I hate mind games. And she keeps playing mind games." His voice changed to anger. "My head is not one people should screw with."
"Shhh. I know."
"She makes me think I'm alone in these feelings and I know I'm not, but she tries!"
"Buffy?"
"Yes."
"Angel, what happened?"
"We were patrolling and she wanted to know who the 'mystery woman' was. She told me she was jealous. We talked a little and I reached in to kiss her. She pulled away and I told her to not make me feel like I'm alone in this. Then I kissed her." Cordelia didn't stop her movements even though it hurt and she wanted to. She didn't judge him and there was no mention of how he shouldn't be so weak. She listened and tried to comfort him.
"Then?"
"She kissed me back for a couple of seconds then pushed me away. Said it was my fault. That I knew she had a boyfriend."
"Was she complaining?"
"No! That's what I said! And she says it's my fault because I come here looking all dark and sexy. What the hell is that about?"
"Like that's your fault! You can't help that you're hot." There was a silence and Dawn watched it like it was a soap opera. In many ways, it was.
"What?"
"Oh please Angel. Like you don't know you make the girls all knocky in the knees."
"I, I don't-"
"Pah-leese. You're all big and growly and handsome. You dress great. That coat thing you got going, totally hot. Even Doyle thought so."
"What?"
"Definitely worth the two grand by the way."
"How did you-"
"Plus, the vampire thing, a total turn on. I mean, you gotta do something with that vampire stamina, right?" Dawn hid her gasp and Angel gawked up at her. "All and all, you're prime hottie material." The two looked at each other for a second. Cordelia tried to hide her smile, but couldn't. Angel shook his head and started to laugh. Cordelia joined in as she watched him. "You feeling better now?" She asked once her giggling has ceased.
"Yeah. Thank you."
"I'm not happy unless you're happy. And now that you are, I can go back to bed." She went to get up and he pulled her back down, laying on her thighs. Without the pillow between them this time. "Angel." She laughed. "What are you doing?"
"Stay with me tonight."
"Angel, I know how hard this is for you but I don't think it's a good idea."
"You don't know Cordelia. No one does." He sighed. "No one remembers." The last bit was mumbled, but Cordelia heard.
"Angel. I do know. About you, about Buffy, about the day that never happened. Doyle told me right after you told him."
"It wasn't supposed to be this hard."
"It kind of is. You got turned human, Ace. You slept with Buffy and had everything you wanted. Then you turned time back and made it never happened to save her life. Being stuck with that memory forever? I don't think it's supposed to be this easy."
"But it has been. Then I kissed her and all these feeling get all mixed up with all the others." She ran a hand through her hair.
"It's okay. What you did…that's the ultimate in heroic actions Angel. You're the real did. And The Powers aren't going to let you go without a fight. And neither will I, I'll help you through this."
"You're gonna have to. I won't survive without you Cor."
"Don't say that. You'll be fine. Just take it…one day at a time." She yawned the last bit of her statement. He dug his head into her, clutching her legs to him. She smiled and continued to stroke his hair and face, eventually he fell asleep. Cordelia sighed. It was going to be a long couple of days. She looked down at the sleeping vampire and fell asleep too.