disclaimer. Bleach belongs to Kubo Tite
summary. She is broken and his world is ripped apart. He runs and runs until, one July 7th, it is time for him to stop
notes. The original title for this fic is 'falling stars leap across the hurdles of our wishes' but FF.N thinks it's too long so I had to chop it. XD This was written for the FLOL Tanabata Festival 2011. Thanks to Star-Chan for the read-through! ❤
i.
It is on a July 7th that is more than just Tanabata that she asks him.
"What is your wish this year, Kurosaki-kun?"
..
ii.
They are celebrating more than the reunion of two lovers. They are celebrating Ichigo's renewed powers, they are celebrating Rukia and Renji coming to visit. They are celebrating because war is coming and maybe this is their last chance to celebrate.
The stars twinkle brightly but they are dull compared to her.
"I want to be able to protect everyone."
..
iii.
( I want to be able to protect you. )
..
iv.
( I want to protect you from me. )
..
v.
He returns to the battlefield. She stands at his back.
'We swore we would be strong enough not to be a burden on you.'
But it all falls apart in one moment. She is standing behind him, shield raised.
Always for him. Never for herself.
..
vi.
It is a strange sensation, she thinks to herself. It is almost like when Tsukishima attacked her, except that felt surreal, like a distant memory, perhaps even a figment of her imagination.
But this sword sticking out of her chest is real. Very real.
She doesn't scream but blood gurgles in her lungs and she coughs. Crimson liquid spatters to the floor and her knees give way.
He turns as she falls; his eyes are wide, horrified.
His name falls from her lips and he screams hers but she cannot hear him.
It all fades to black.
..
vii.
It is wrong, all wrong. He's had nightmares before about her getting hurt. He still does sometimes.
( all the time. )
She is falling, falling, and he cannot run fast enough to catch her.
"Kuro… saki… -kun."
Her name almost tears out his throat.
And something inside him explodes in the most terrible way.
..
viii.
"Are you still beating yourself up over it?"
She is lying on her stomach, reading a new shoujo manga series while he studies. She bites into a potato chip to give him time to answer.
He never does.
"It wasn't your fault, you know. She was hurt and you—"
"Turned into a monster?"
"For her. Both times, you only did it for her. Don't you think that means something?"
His cell phone rings once, twice, thrice.
"Aren't you going to get that?"
"It's her," he answers dully.
"All the more reason to answer it, right?"
"All the more reason not to."
She calls three more times. Each time, Rukia waits for Ichigo to change his mind and pick up.
He never does.
..
ix.
Tatsuki punches him in the face. Just like last time, it is all for of her.
"How do you think she feels knowing you're tearing yourself up over this? You did it for her sake, didn't you? She thinks this is all her fault!"
"It's not," he says quietly, testing his jaw gingerly.
"Go tell her, then!"
He grimaces as he gets to his feet, and for a moment, a brief, shining moment, they all think, yes. finally. this will be over and they will be happy.
"I can't."
They all stand in stunned silence as he turns and walks away. Onem two, three, and Tatsuki breaks.
"You're an idiot, Ichigo! A fucking idiot!"
No one disagrees with her, not even him.
..
x.
Rukia surveys him over her rice bowl. "You're really brave, Ichigo."
He nearly chokes on his food. "What?"
"You're really brave."
He eyes her suspiciously. "It's not like you to compliment me…"
"You're also really stupid."
"That's more like it."
"Fortune and love favour the brave, Ichigo, and you're one of the bravest people I know."
"… Thank you?"
"So why are you running?"
..
xi.
"Are you scared, Kurosaki?"
"As if."
"Then why are you running?"
"Don't you get on my case as well, Ishida."
"Why not? Maybe the more people that are on your case, the more likely you are to fix this."
"You don't know me, so don't start—"
"You are scared, Ichigo."
He groans. "Not you too, Chad. You—"
"Don't say that I don't know you because I do," Chad interrupts. "You're scared, and you're terrified of facing it."
"Scared of what?"
"Of the fact that someone like her wants to be with someone like you."
Silence.
"Of the fact that she knows the worst of you and still loves you."
Silence.
"Of the fact that you don't know how to fix this."
..
xii.
He runs away.
..
xiii.
Ishida pushes up his glasses.
"Well, I think that went well."
..
xiv.
It is July 7th again.
It has been three months since he last saw her.
It has been ten months since he last spoke to her.
..
xv.
He finally stops running.
..
xvi.
He goes to the festival with his family. Karin and Yuzu are excited. His father is oddly quiet.
He waits half an hour.
( he has been waiting three months. )
( she has been waiting ten months. )
"I'm going to go find my friends and catch up," he says and moves to leave. Isshin catches his sleeve.
"If you want something you've never had, do something you've never done."
Ichigo stares, one, two, three, before rolling his eyes. "What do you think I'm doing?"
Isshin grins.
"That's my boy."
..
xvii.
He spies her from a distance and his heart is in his mouth. She is beautiful, surrounded by their friends, by lights and laughter and life.
"Let's go to the river so we can watch the fireworks!" Keigo announces and the others chorus their assent before they all turn to leave. She is alone at the back, walking at a slightly slower pace than the others.
This is it.
His legs shake. He wants to run away.
( fortune and love favour the brave, Ichigo. )
..
xviii.
He runs towards her.
..
xix.
He catches the sleeve of her yukata and she turns; her auburn hair whips him in the face but he doesn't care.
Their eyes meet.
He asks wordlessly.
She replies in kind.
..
xx.
"Are you mad at me?"
They are standing on the edge of the riverbank. Alone, the first time they have been alone together for almost a year.
But she doesn't speak.
"I would be," he supplies.
"I was never mad at you," she replies quietly.
"You weren't? What were you, then?"
"Hurt?"
He winces. "That's even worse. I'd rather you be mad at me."
She hums. "Sometimes I think that, too."
..
xxi.
"I thought you needed some space."
He watches her play with her hair.
"I did."
"I thought that if I kept my distance, maybe you'd miss me or something. But now, all I feel is this," she waves a hand vaguely between them, "the distance. Us growing apart and that was… the last thing I wanted."
"I missed you. Miss you," he says after a pause. "A lot. And probably a lot earlier than you realise."
"Really?" Her eyes have brightened. "How early?"
"Hmm. Straight away?"
She laughs.
And he thinks maybe, maybe, maybe.
..
xxii.
"Do you know that saying, Kurosaki-kun? 'If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it's yours'?"
"Yeah."
"I guess…" she tucks her hair behind her ear, "I'm still waiting for you to come back to me."
One, two, three, and he sits beside her on the grass.
"I'm here now, aren't I?"
She smiles. "Yes, you are."
He smiles back.
And she thinks maybe, maybe, maybe.
..
xxiii.
"Can I tell you a secret?"
She traces the floral pattern on her yutaka. "Of course."
"Rukia told me that fortune and love favour the brave. But right now, with you," he glances down at her, "I'm terrified."
"Of me?"
"Of me. Of what I am, of what I can become, of what I can do. But I realise that no matter how scared I am of all of that, the thing I'm most scared of is letting go of this, whatever this is." It is his turn to vaguely wave a hand between them. "Of never giving this a shot because I'm scared of what I'm feeling. But I know now that it's all worth it." He stills her hand by grasping her fingertips. "You know that saying? 'Love is worth fighting for?' I didn't get it, I didn't understand, but I do now. Because this whole time," he pauses, "I was always fighting for you."
She finally looks up at him. His heart is in his mouth.
One, two, three.
She smiles.
And he thinks yes, yes, yes.
..
xxiv.
He kisses her and the fireworks start.
( she thinks they do, anyway. was that all in her head? )
..
xxv.
It is July 7th and they are celebrating the reunion of two lovers.
"What is your wish this year, Kurosaki-kun?" Her voice is breathy and something inside him explodes in the most wonderful way.
His hand moves towards her waist and he kisses her again.
And she thinks yes, yes, yes.