Edith Takes a Bath
ATTEMPT #1: THE WAR BEGINS
7-year-old troublemaker Edith Gru was playing out in the mud one day, and when he saw her, her father had only three words to say to her:
"OK, bath time!"
Edith´s deep gray eyes widened in horror.
"NO, Daddy! Baths are baaaad!" the tomboy cried, pulling her beloved wool tassel hat over her eyes.
Her father lifted her hat up so he could look at her. "But yoo are filthy."
Edith humphed and sat down on the hardwood floor, pouting.
Groaning in frustration, Gru tried pulling his middle daughter up the stairs by the arm.
"Edith," he grunted, trying to fight against the little girl´s kicks and squirms. "Yoo - urgh - haff - to - take - urgh - a BATH!"
"No - I - DON`T!"
Edith kicked her father in the shins and ran away, snickering.
"EDITH MILDRED GRU!" Gru shouted after her, hopping on one foot. "VEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOO, YOO ARE IN BEEG TROUBLE, YOUNG LADY!"
It was then that Gru`s eldest daughter, Margo Gru, entered the playroom toting a notebook and pencil.
"Dad?" the 10-year-old said. "What´s going on? Why´re you screaming?¨
Gru put his face in his hands and sighed. "Yur seester eez refusing to take a bath."
"Oh, dear," Margo sighed, and she face-palmed too. "Seven years later..."
Gru raised his eyebrows in shock.
"Are yoo saying she's done dees all her life?"
Margo nodded wearily. "Ms. Hattie would have to chase her all around the Home for bath time. It's in the adoption papers."
Gru took said papers out of his pocket and perused them.
"Oh, so eet does," he said. "Eet also says she hates Sleeping Beauty and Twilight but likes Bratz and Shania Twain."
"Ugh, blasphemy," Margo scoffed, clenching her fist.
And thus began an all-out war between father and daughter, over the daughter taking a bath.
(Which reminds me, have you seen the latest episode of Soul Eater? It's awesome!)