Six months ago, my father figure tried to kill me...I escaped with cuts an burnt clothes. Turns out Voldemort and Dumbledore have been working together all this time. I was running from them for three months looking for a safe place to hide and train, and it turns out a lot of my friends were running as well. I was hiding in the hills for the longest time before I ran into Ron and his dad they had been out looking for others on the run. They have found a safe place, a place out of England in the mountains of Canada. You would think it would be cold but the building is nice and warm. When I got there Ron's family along with Mrs. Figg,Lupin, Sirius, and Hermione were already there.
Its been three months since then and over the months we have gained a few more, starting with Alastor Moody, Dennis Creevey, Professor Sprout, Neville Longbotton, Luna Lovegood, and Minerva Mcgonagall. Dennis has had it hard, the death eaters killed his family for being Muggles. Professor Sprout had fled Hogwarts in the middle of the night after the Death Eaters had tried storming the greenhouse looking for her, not one survived the nearly magical jungle that surrounded the professors house and they were still looking for parts of McNair.
Neville and Luna had it the worst though. Neville had been dragged from a closet as Death Eaters tortured and mutilated his grandmother trying to get information from him. He was only able to get away when one slipped up and allowed his grandmother to stun one before beginning to duel the other. The last image he had of her was her body a flame on the front lawn of their house. The Death Eaters had attacked hoping to find Neville believing he knew where I was, and he still screams her name at night. Luna's family had been killed for writing about the possibility of a coup d'etat, little did anyone know that he was actually been right about this. As a warning for other journalist her fathers body had been filleted before being strung up in front of the office of the Daily Prophet.
I'm the boy who lived, a hero to many. But to myself I'm a fuck up. Look at what they did to Neville's grandmother, my parents. How many are going to die because of me? How am I Harry James Potter supposed to kill two of the strongest wizards of our time. I am just a boy, a fifth teen year old boy and every one wants me to save them, I am supposed to be great. I'm not great I get lucky, I have almost died four times one of witch my godfather about died. But when its all done and said, some how I do get the job done. I do have friends and there faithful, and a godfather that would give his life for me. But still why would any one die for me? My aunt and uncle had the right ideal lock me away, hide me, I am a freak and should be hid like one. They beated me, mistreated me. Is it their fault that I am the way I am, depressed, lonely, cold. Is it because of them I don't want people close to me, is that why I don't have confident? What if I started to believe in my self, is their a way I could win, could I win the war for all of the good in the world, or will darkness just take over no matter what I do. Could I train myself hard enough. Would any one else be will to help me, would the fight side by side with a freak like my self? What am I saying, no one wants to help me, I am a freak, a wast of space. But if thats true then was do I have all of them, why do I have Sirius then if its true. Some one that does love me, but why does he love me, is it because I look like my dad, his best friend? But why is every one else beside me
? Why is the Weasley's so kind to me, don't they see I am a worthless piece of shit a good for nothing. Why does Ginny look at me the way she does, the twinkle in her eye when she looks at me, and the smile she gives me. Why does she feel that way about me, even when she has some one. Or is all this just in my imagination. So this are my thoughts, its august 5, 4:15 and I can't sleep, I should be able to, all I been doing is cleaning.
This castle is very dirty. I don't think people have been in it since the 1730's . today will be the last day of cleaning. The older men have been gathering plans to try to get others. There are a lot of people out their hiding, starving. Moody has been searching the mountains looking for survives, he will be leaving soon along with Sirius. Maybe he would let me go with him, maybe I can get him to teach me some good spells to use. He has took down a few death eater's. But would Mrs. Weasley let me go, she treats me like one of her own. I love it when her and Sirius fight. Its amusing. Sirius tells her she is not my mother, and she tells him he is not my father, but she forgets he is my godfather. He wins every time. I think I will go get a shower, and clean up and try to go, any ways I can sleep, Ron's snoring could keep a bear up during hibernation