Jackson hadn't meant to dance with Lydia to his and Stiles' song. And as much as Jackson didn't want to like Stiles, he wasn't heartless. That ridiculous Jonas Brothers song still meant a lot to both of them.

"Stiles wait! I'm telling you the truth," Jackson tried and failed at not begging the other boy.

He stopped and closed his eyes. Stiles didn't want to listen to what Jackson had to say, but he would. Jackson seemed to be his weak spot. They both knew that Jackson could turn to him no matter how bad off it was between them. Anger and hatred and sadness were emotions that were all too closely tied together and Stiles had buried his true feelings so deeply inside him that as Jackson stood in front of him those three emotions were starting to claw at him.

"No." Stiles said flatly, looking at Jackson in a bored-like manner. "You don't just accidentally dance with your girlfriend to our so- to that song. You're an asshole."

Stiles turned away from Jackson, his hand pressing on the door that would lead him outside. Before he could leave, he was pulled flush against Jackson's body. Jackson smirked as Stiles inhaled and slowly exhaled.

"I wouldn't hurt you like that. Not with that song, our song, it means too much to me." Jackson looked at Stiles softly, he knew Stiles didn't believe him.

"You wouldn't hurt me?" Stiles sneered angrily. "All you've done for two years is hurt me. You couldn't get your way so you became a grade A douchebag. And our song? It's just some s- stupid Jonas Brothers song from when we were kids."

"Don't lie, I saw the look on your face. It may be from when we were kids, but it is not just some stupid song. We can lie to ourselves, each other, and everyone else we know, but we both know deep down that nobody is going to live up to what that song represents. There's no one good enough," Jackson admitted truthfully.

"I'm sure Lydia would love to hear that," Stiles rolled his eyes. "And okay, you got me for a moment. Congratulations, you hurt me. Again." He swallowed, his careless demeanor falling completely away.

"I'm sorry," Jackson spoke genuinely and raised his hand to Stiles' face. Stiles didn't pull away, surprising both of them, he turned into Jackson's touch.

A small smile crossed Jackson's face. "You know how Lydia is when she gets an idea in her head. I should've told her that When You Look Me In The Eyes wasn't available, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, it's not really our song anymore." Stiles shrugged. "I'm gonna get going," he said quietly, no longer looking at Jackson.

Jackson kissed Stiles, and Stiles, unable to stop himself, kissed back. For Jackson, he was sure there was nothing better in the entire world than being with Stiles. He's known that for as long as he could remember. And he knew that Stiles felt the same, but their fallout and Stiles' more recent realization of sexuality, or lack there of, had the mole spotted boy confused. Lydia was great, amazing even, but she wasn't Stiles. Nobody was Stiles. Sure Jackson felt bad for leading Lydia on, but when Stiles had given up on talking to him he got jealous. Jackson was determined to keep Stiles' attention so he asked out Lydia Martin, the girl everyone thought Stiles liked. And it worked brilliantly, his eyes were constantly watching them. Watching Jackson.

Stiles pulled away first. "No. I'm not doing this again Jackson. It's not fair, not when you make promises you can't keep. I fall for it every time and I get hurt every time. I am not going to spend the night with you just so you can be with Lydia again by morning."

It was hard for Stiles to say no, one of the hardest things he's had to do in his life. He had given in every time because he always hoped it'd bring his best friend back, the Jackson he used to know. Stiles missed Jackson. So much, too much. It wasn't until Jackson's 11th birthday that they started to grow apart, Danny had moved to town and Jackson The Jerk emerged for the first time. They grew even further apart a few months later when Stiles started hanging out with nurse McCall's son Scott, Jackson really didn't like that. They were thirteen when the fallout happened. They weren't speaking, but Jackson learned that he was adopted and any anger no longer mattered. Things that night didn't go well at all and no matter how hard Stiles tried, he no longer seemed to exist in Jackson's world. Well, until it got too hard for Jackson. He turned to Stiles, and Stiles gave in even though he ended up hurt each time.

But not this time.

"I miss you Stiles," Jackson mumbled against the other boy. "Stiles," he breathed, lightly sucking a mark onto the neck beneath his mouth.

"We can't, this is a bad idea," Stiles whispered, his heartbeat speeding up as Jackson's breath teased his skin. He meant to pull away from Jackson, but he didn't move.

Stiles' whole body felt like jello when Jackson found the extra sensitive spot on his neck. He grabbed Jackson's face and kissed him more passionately than he thought was possible. It scared Stiles.

Jackson pulled away and looked at Stiles, finally understanding that he couldn't have Stiles. "This Isn't happening," he stated regretfully.

"No," Stiles shook his head, tears filling the whiskey colored eyes that Jackson loved so much. "I'm sorry."

"Whatever," Jackson shrugged, his hands in his pockets and his asshole defense back into position.

"Don't, please," Stiles asked mournfully. "I don't know who I am, or how I feel. And I can't forget the past two years, just because you decided to stop being an asshole. I don't work like that. Not for you who proves to be the exception to everything, even my asexuality."

"I know who you are and how you feel, even if you don't believe me. I am not asking you to forget anything, but don't act like you aren't happiest here with me. Nobody's going to love you as much as I do and you aren't going to love anybody the way you love me, but you've never taken a moment to let yourself realize that. So fuck you Stiles and if you want an asshole, fine, I'll be an asshole."

He watched Jackson walk angrily away as the tears finally fell from his eyes. Stiles knew it was for the best, but it sure didn't feel like it. His heart was broken again, except this time it was his own fault.

The first in a series of drabbles, not in chronological order, that lead up to a story I may or may not write. Also posted on Ao3.