Chapter 1
I woke up to the screaming sound of my alarm clock telling me I have to get up, get dressed and ready for work. Somehow my body didn't want to get up, but I had to force myself to. I have bills to pay and and gas to buy. When I sat up slowly My dressers doors had been open and all of my boyfriend's things had been removed from them along with his suitcase in the opened closet. His half space showed all his clothes gone. The room felt empty and cold as the alarm clock kept ringing, but I hardly noticed it because my heart beated louder than the clock. Why would he just leave? What happened? Then I realized all the bills that needed paid like my car payment, gas, electric, phone, cable, internet, food. I can already feel my stress level rising up as I sat in bed trying to figure out what's going on. I didn't have the enegry to even move. Not even to answer my phone. My body feels frozen trying to figure out whats happened to lead him to leave me. Nothing came to mind. Not even a clue. Just emptyness in my brain and a hurting beginning in my chest.
My phone ringing again made my mind come back to my empty house as I reached for my phone on my wooden bedside table. My boss calling in.
I took a deep breath, before I answered. I have to answer anyway.
"Hello" I said tiredly.
"Hey i got you on the schedule tonight at 8:30 alright." My boss said quickly.
"Alright." I said slowly.
Well my boss is the nice and leant kind. He helps all his employees as much as he can with whatever he can. No amtter what the problem is he always tries to help find a way to resolve or find a easier way to deal with the problem. He's always helping mary. Mary's a single mom with two children, her first child is eight years old boy. Her second child is 2 year old girl. Both of her two kids are well mannered and sweet.
Anyway looks like Im going be taking on more and more shifts now to keep my bills caught up. Without any further delay I got up off the bed and rushed in the shower, grabbed my work clothes and took an apple from my kitchen counter.
A Few Months Later...
I moved through the lobby quickly feeling drained and needing much sleep, but dont have the time for sleep anymore. Im two payments behind on my car, three on my house and low on food money. I felt like its time to just call it quits, maybe if i do i can stop all this maddness of trying to do everything on my own. Maybe I can finally just say oh well and let go. I can't though. I have to able to make my bills are paid and done with for the month.
My first night off in a long time and its the night before paid day as well. Marie sat in front of her computer smiling sweetly as she always does all the time. I wish i had her patience and stamina. I noticed a few cars outside and John Cena standing in front of Marie smiling as well. Marie was going through the computer database looking for a room available. Most of our rooms are full because of the concerts and WWE in town. I think this the most the hotel's done in a good while. That also means bussiness in the resturant will also be really busy. Hopefully more hours and some much needed tips. I walked over behind the counter going through the front two doors on the cabinet behind her.
"Wuz up." She said sweetly.
"I need my paycheck and two bottles of 5 hour enegry." I said quickly.
"Michael hide them from you and heres your check." She said going in the basket that sat on the right side of the counter.
She handed me the check and then grabbed two bottles of 5-hour enegrys out of her purse giving me them quickly. I smiled at her softly before giving her a quickly hug and going in the back office. I felt my breathing becoming more and more shorter every minute I stood in view of John. Ok, calm down he's just another guy. Nothing more than a simple guy. Only my heart didn't even bother believing any of the garage that came out of my mouth. My heart started pounding in my ears so loud that the noise air vent disappeared as long the office and the table i was leaning over looking at my almost clear reflection on the table. I stood there feeling a new found relief and calmness coming out of me. Then I realized that I'm dreaming of being with someone who I don't even have a chance with. I stood myself seeing a tear fall from my right cheek on to the table showing a small puddle that looked like a drop of rain falling on a side walk in a pot hole. I stopped myself quickly. I'm too tired to fight and car with myself over something that's useless right now. I stood up grabbing a bottle of water and a napkin before taking a deep breath. My feet moved out of the door telling Marie bye and going toward the parking lot where my jeep sat at the far end. I need the walk I think. My body feels like shutting down, but I have a few more errands to run and then I'm home to catch up on some much need sle...
"Excuse me miss!" A voice called out.
My body turned around without even a command or a note to myself already knowing the voice by heart.
John.
"What?" I said tiredly and a little pissed.
I don't need this in my life. It's already complicated enough with me being the one paying all the bills. I don't need my love life to be the biggest problem right now.
"I was wondering if maybe I could take you out eat and get to know you maybe if you like." He said taking off his hand and placing it in his right hand as his left hand rubbed his neck nervously. He acts like he's afraid I'm going turn him down or something. I am though.
"I don't think thats such a good idea, but thank you for the offer." I said turning back around and moving forward to my car.
"I want to help." He said yelled.
"I don't need your help." I said angry.
He ran this time with his tennis shoes hitting the pavement loudly for a just a few moments. Then I felt his soft hand send eletricity running through my veins and the goosebumps forming on my arms as my heart urged me forward toward him making me want to feel his touch around my back and his lips on mine in a soft, but sweet kiss. The kiss to tell me he's the one i need to be with forever. My soul mate.
"I think you do. Look at you. Your eyes have dark black circles, Your speech is tired and hard to understand. How are you even able to drive." He whispered caring.
"Well I'm making my bills thats all that matter." I said moving away from him now.
The eletricity stopped immediately making me feel cold and useless now as my feet tried to move back toward him. Is it strange or wrong to feel this way about a total strager? I didn't the time to figure out the answer. I am tried of working, always being the on top of things. Always being able to get change together to get a coke even though I know i need to put it toward my gas tank. I'm tired of not being able to sleep though the full night instead of running on four or three hours of sleep. I haven't seen my mom in a good while. I don't even have time to call her.
"Really? "He asked me caring again.
His voice pulled me out of the world that seemed to make me feel old and tired of going in there all the time. I feel like Im just being drawn into my world thats crumbing all around me and there's nothing I can do.
"Yes." I said looking away from the ground and at the streets that had cars going up and down the streets trying to get somewhere on time. I missed being able to go out with friend and family. Just txt someone and not have to try and get them on the answer machine. I missed being able to hold someone, fight, hug, kiss, watch a movie with someone. I almost let a tear fall down my right cheek.
"Your body doesn't seem to agree with you on that." He said slowly.
"Don't worry about it ok." I said as I sstarted to walk forward again.
"I think you should let me help." He said kindly.
"I been doing alright." I said with a mean smile to him.
"Just let me buy you dinner and we can just talk thats all." He said walking slowly toward me.
I turned around back around to him shaking my head softly, before my voice came out soft and sweet.
"Alright." I said walking toward him quickly, my body and heart leaped out of my chest almost as I walked further toward him. He fell into step with me as we walked back into the hotel and through the lobby to the resturant. We stepped into the resturant for a moment waiting on a table and I could see Anne's smile forming on her face that said she set this up.
"Ann told you to do this didn't she?" I asked pissed off.
"Who?" John asked with a smile forming on his face.
I shook my head as Marissa got two menus and showed us to a quiet table in the back. I sat down nervous and shaky as John sat down cool and collected as his eyes glowed brighter to show the deep blue that seemed like an ocean in here. The glow was from affection toward me. I had seen it from my best friend's boyfriend one time at prom. It's beautiful actually the way the sparkle shines through the glow. I never noticed it until now.
"How much did she tell you?" I asked looking at his face now.
"She didn't tell me anything except if i can take you to dinner and talk thats all i promise." He said throwing his hands up in defense.
"Good." I said leaning back in my chair as I moved my hair back out of my face.
"We can talk about it if you want to." He said looking at me the same way.
"My ex-boyfriend wanted me to move in together, so we did. Then a few weeks later I found myself alone and all the bills being laid on my door step. I been paying them by myself through double shifts for some months." I said tiredly.
"How far are you behind on your car and house payments?" He said seriously.
"U said Ann didn't tell you anything." I said mad again.
"Mike the manager did." He said smiling.
"I can catch them up." I said looking away from him now.
"How far?" He asked slowly.
"Two on my car and three on my house." I said looking away still.
"Let me help you." He said taking my left hand in his.
The touch of his hands on mine sent the eletricity back through my veins and the goosebumps on my arms. The way his touch feels makes me want to just let him hold my hand forever, but my natural instinct kicked in and I pulled away. I can't take a chance. My entire body wanted to though, to feel his kiss, touch, embrace. Anything from him. It's like he's an addiction I can't seem to shake or quit. No matter how hard I try.
"Alright" I said tiredly.
We finished dinner slowly as we walked out of the resturant and to the lobby. Something made me feel like this is the person and that maybe after some time we can finally jsut be together. Then my scaredness set in immediately. What if something happens and we do something to make things feel awkward or uncomfortable around us.
"I had a really nice time tonight." John said stepping a little closer to me as I leaned on the back of my driver's door of my jeep.
"Well i guess my problems wasn't that boring." I whispered softly as his lips came closer to mine like a small cobra ready to strike.
I found myself leaning closer to him and closing my eyes waiting for his lips to touch mine as the world disappeared around me. His lips finally touched mine as his eletricity flowed through my lips and down my spine making me wrap my arms around him without even commanding my arms to. It's like nothing else matter at the moment, not my car, house, bills, job, family, friends. Just me and him and this moment right now. I feel the butterflies flying more and more faster around in my stomach. I feel nervous and gitty like a school girl would when the jock finally pays some attention to her instead of the high school cheerleader.
He pulled an inch away from me as i still felt his hot breath on my lips that smells like a tic tac i might add. I didn't even want open my eyes, but i had to. I wanted to see his face and the glow in his eyes that seemed to shine only when he looked at me. When he looked at Marie he saw a plain girl doing her job.. I don't really see what he sees in me. I think I'm kinda of boring actually.
"I guess I'll see you tomorrow." I whispered softly.
"Don't go." He whispered softly and kissed me softly again.
I gave him a quick nodded as his hand grabbed mine softly and we started off toward the small pond behind the hotel to sit and talk for some time. I felt everything in me start to become alive again in a way that seemed new and exciting at the same time. I wanted it to be that way, but also wanted things to just stop. Maybe I'm being to self-centered or something. I don't know and right now I don't want to think about it. So i sat that back for later and focused on us walking toward the pond.
What you think? Trash or go forward?