This is the follow up to "The Dalek Invasion of Endsville", and the second story in my "Grim Adventures of Doctor Who" series. You don't really have to have read Dalek Invasion to read this one.
Huge thanks go out to KitKatBarStory and Immortal-Fool who have both drawn fanart for DIoE. To see them, go to my profile and click "homepage" to go to my DA site. Browse my favourites and look for "Dalek Invasion of Endsville 1" and "DIoE: Decision-Making" both by KitKatBarStory, and "Billy, Mandy and the Dalek" and "Things I Should Have Said" both by Immortal-Fool. Also be sure to check out their galleries, they're both fantastic artists.
I have new respect for the writers of the classic Doctor Who stories from the 60s, 70s and 80s, and can now see why the first episodes in four part stories were always spent setting up the premise.
Disclaimers at the bottom!
The Grim Adventures of Doctor Who
Terror At Birdland - By Father Jack
Part 1 - "The Daytrip of Doom"
The ducks always seemed to trust Mavis. Four of them waddled around her feet, scooping up the bread she had thrown to them with their beaks. One of the ducks looked at Mavis and quacked pleasantly, almost as if to say 'thank you'.
Ever since she was three years old, Mavis had sat on the same bench by the River Windrush that ran through her little English village, feeding the birds that lived there. Mavis sighed to herself. Where had the last 70 years gone? She stared into the water as the a cool September morning breeze wafted past her. Mavis looked down at the ducks.
"Come on duckies," she cooed to them, "time to eat up. It's nearly time for your Mummy Mavis to go and have her own breakfast."
She shook her head slightly, and asked herself when she had become the mad old lady that sits by the river, talking to the ducks as if they were her own children. There was another gust of wind, slightly stronger this time, and it seemed to come from behind her. The breeze didn't seem to be dissipating, and Mavis could hear a whooshing sound that was getting louder by the second.
She looked behind her, just in time to see a blue Police call box appear from nowhere. Mavis quickly turned back to where she was facing before. She rummaged around in her pocket, producing a small plastic jar containing her prescription medication, and examined the label for information on possible side effects. Suddenly, talking to the ducks seemed like the least of her problems.
--
"We've landed," said the Doctor to his companions.
"Landed? I didn't even know we'd taken off!" Grim exclaimed, still in awe at the Tardis control room.
The Doctor grinned. "The Tardis is good like that."
"I still don't understand how you can fit this whole place in to that tiny box."
"It's just advanced Science, nothing special." The Doctor dismissed the Reaper's question. "What I don't understand is you, Grim."
"Me?"
"Well I was far too concerned about the Daleks before to question it, but you're not actually the Grim Reaper, are you? There's no such thing, is there now?" The Doctor grinned again in a patronising way.
Grim was taken aback. "I don't quite understand what you're getting at, Doctor. I'm standing right here in front of you, aren't I? You can see I exist!"
"Just because something can be seen doesn't mean it exists," said the Doctor.
"How very cryptic," interrupted Mandy, "but I don't really care. Fascinating as it would be to hear you two debate the meaning of life, death and the cosmos for the rest of eternity, I was hoping we could get this 'trip' over and done with quickly. I'm actually starting to miss the Daleks."
"Yeah, Doctor!" Billy piped up. "Make with the strange alien worlds and wired and wonderful creatures!"
"Well, I suppose the sooner this is over the better," agreed the Doctor. He pushed a level on the hexagonal control panel and the Tardis door opened. Billy and Mandy stepped outside as the Doctor turned to Grim and said, "I'm still not convinced about you. Leave your scythe here, we don't want to worry the locals."
--
Tony Worthing stood outside the entrance to the Birdland theme park and stared up in awe at the massive sign that spanned the gateway. At the age of 18, this was going to be his first job since he failed his A-Levels over the summer. Not that he really cared about that. His parents had pushed him into doing all the subjects he hated. English, Maths, History, all completely useless as far as Tony was concerned.
Tony had always been interested in birds, of the feathered kind of course. He had lived in the village of Bourton-on-the-Water his whole life, and had visited the Birdland theme park many times whilst growing up. There, he had developed his love of the exotic species that were on show. When they moved the location of the open aired theme park earlier in the year and started advertising for new staff, Tony had jumped at the chance to work there. True, he was only starting as a junior caretaker, but it was a start!
Nervously, Tony walked through the main entrance and approached the ticket kiosk.
"Um, hello there," he stammered to the kiosk clerk.
"Sorry mate," said the man behind the counter, "you'll have to wait, we don't open for another seven and a half minutes."
"What? Oh, no, I'm starting work here today."
"You? Working here? Oh yes, you must be the new 'boy'. Berton must be really desperate for staff if he's going to employ someone as scrawny as you. Wait here," said the man, as he left the kiosk to find the manager.
Tony watched the man walk away, and then turned his attention to the beautifully crafted wooden sculpture of a bird that sat perched on top of the wooden gate that lead past the ticket kiosk into Birdland.
"Hello there little fella," Tony chuckled to himself as he reached out a hand and began to pat the sculpture on the head. "What's your name then?"
The wooden bird's head fell off.
--
"Wow!" Exclaimed Billy. "We're on some freaky alien landscape!"
The Doctor and the Grim Trio stood outside the Tardis, staring at the river that ran before them.
"Well I wouldn't exactly describe Gloucestershire as an alien landscape, Billy," the Doctor said.
"Gloucestershire?" Mandy repeated, bemusement in her voice.
"Yes, a county in England. We're in a village in the Cotswolds, to be precise."
Mandy began to fume. "So you're telling me that you have a machine that can travel to any point in time and space, even to the beginning of the universe itself, and you've brought us to an insignificant little English village?"
"Yes, it's the only place I could think of where Billy couldn't do any harm."
"I wouldn't be so sure about that, Doctor," sighed Grim, pointing to the boy who was already running off.
Billy had spotted a duck, preening itself under a tree. He ran towards it, making sounds that loosely resembled quacking. The duck ceased preening and looked up at Billy, terror in its eyes. The bird scrambled to its feet, flapped its wings and took to flight. It flew over Billy, who continued to run forwards, not taking his eyes off the bird. The boy smashed into the tree and fell backwards, his mouth open and letting out a soft moan. Suddenly, a small birds nest fell out of the tree and landed with pinpoint accuracy in Billy's mouth.
"BILLY! Get back here NOW!" Shouted Mandy, pointing furiously to the ground next to her. As Billy made his way back, Mandy turned to the Doctor and said, "what sort of time are we in?"
"Around nine o'clock in the morning, give or take a few minutes," replied the Doctor, facetiously. "Almost lunchtime on some worlds."
"The year, Doctor, the year!" Mandy was now thoroughly cheesed off.
"Ah, yes," the Doctor grinned. "Well, if the Tardis did what it was told then we're in nineteen eighty-nine."
"Nineteen eighty-nine?" Repeated Billy. "I should be 127 years old!"
"No Billy, you shouldn't," Grim said. "In fact you should never be that old. If the universe is to survive then you shouldn't even come close to being that old. Twenty will be too old for you to reach. Heck, two was pushing it."
"Grim, shut it. Doctor, that woman is staring at us," said Mandy, pointing to Mavis who had been watching them from her bench the whole time.
"Ah, yes, they do tend to do that," replied the Doctor, raising a hand and waving to the confused lady. "Everyone wave now."
Billy raised a hand high above his head and waved enthusiastically. Grim bought a bony hand up to his shoulder and wiggled his skeletal fingers at the women. Mandy stared back at Mavis, hands on hips, growling slightly under her breath. Mavis fixed her gaze on Grim, her eyes burning deep into his. Grim stared back. He could have sworn he recognised her.
"Right, follow me," said the Doctor, walking off. The others followed.
--
"Ah-ha! There you are, Tony," said Mr. Berton, the manager of Birdland, walking up to his new recruit. "I wasn't sure if you were going to turn up."
"I'm not late, am I sir?"
"No, not really, I just didn't think you'd bother showing up for such an appalling job. Still, I'm glad you're here!"
Tony looked at his new boss. A rather rotund gentleman in his late fifties, with a big grey bushy moustache that looked as if it hadn't been maintained for quite some time. His hair was jet black, dyed of course. Mr. Berton spoke with an overwhelmingly posh accent, and Tony was convinced he would say 'jolly good show' at any moment.
"Well, I'm glad to be here, sir!"
"Yes, well you say that now but you haven't started working yet, have you? Anyway, boy, follow me," said Berton, opening the wooden gate. He paused for a moment when he spotted the headless wooden bird, raised an eyebrow, then continued through the gate. He outstretched his arms before him and bellowed, "welcome to the new Birdland!"
"Wow," was all Tony could muster, as he stood staring in awe at the sight in front of him. Massive cages and enclosures as far as he could see, each containing rare and exotic specimens of birds from all around the world. Berton walked on and Tony followed along side him.
"Wow indeed, young man. We have one of Britain's largest collection of birds here. Over a hundred different species, including three different types of penguin," Berton said, pointing to the penguin enclosure as they passed it. Tony turned and smiled at the penguins. Most of them ignored him, except for one that just turned and flapped its wings at him.
"Oh yes, I know all about Birdland, sir. I visited the old site loads of times, right from when I was little. I just still can't believe I'm going to be here all day every day!"
"Hmm, yes, well it won't take long for you to get used to it, and possibly dread it."
"I'm sorry?"
"Not as sorry as you will be! Anyway, never mind that," spluttered Berton, quickly diverting the direction of the conversation. "Think you've seen all the birds here, do you Tony?"
"Sir?"
"Stop calling me that, I'm not a knight of the realm for heaven's sake."
"Sorry. But yes, I've seen them all many times," boasted Tony, "and I've even done extra research and I know all there is to know about all of them."
"Swot. But no, Tony, you haven't seen them all."
The pair stopped next one of Birdland's many large cages. Tony looked in and gasped in awe. He saw a bird, perching on a branch, but it was quite unlike anything he had seen before. The bird was quite large, as big as an albatross. It was red in colour, with yellow stripes on its wings. Its eyes were blue, big and bright, glistening in the early morning sun. The bird turned its head, slowly, and looked straight at Tony.
"What is that?" He asked his boss.
"That, Tony, is a bird. I would have hoped you knew that already," Berton chuckled, obviously very pleased with his appalling joke. "But more specifically, we have no idea what species it is. It was found in Scotland a month ago, in Rannoch Moor. Practically dead it was, but made a miraculous recovery in a very short space of time. No one knew what to do with it so they donated it to us. One of a kind, Tony! This is its first day on show here, and we're expecting a rush of people to see the 'Mysterious Bird of Bridland'. Do you like that name? I thought of it myself!"
"Well it's very good, sir. I mean, Mr. Berton."
"Yes it is. Right now, young man, time for you to get to work. I have a very important job for you Tony." Berton leaned in towards Tony, as if to whisper some important information.
"Yes?"
"Put the kettle on, there's a good chap," Berton said very loud in Tony's ear, which made the boy jump. "I'm sure you'll be able to find the kitchen. Tea, please."
"Oh, right, yes. Erm, how do you like your tea?"
"Hot, if you can manage that."
Tony looked at Berton for a couple of seconds, realised that he wasn't going to say anything else, and began to make his way to the kitchen. Berton let the boy walk off, and paused for a moment to admire his new attraction.
"Well, you strange little thing, you're going to make me a lot of money," he said to the magnificent bird. "I've already put an order in for the first shipment of stuffed toys in your likeness, as well as the 'I've seen the Mysterious bird of Birdland' t-shirts. You'll be famous! Jolly good show," Berton mumbled to himself and began to walk off.
The bird watched him go. Berton was too far away to hear the creature chuckling to itself.
--
"Birdland?" Said Mandy, staring at the sign.
"Very good, you can read," replied the Doctor.
"Don't push me, Doctor, or I'll garrotte you with that infernal scarf of yours."
"I hate carrots," said Billy.
"This is our amazing trip across time?" Said Grim, dumfounded. "To a theme park?"
"Yes, I thought it might be rather fun, and I've been meaning to come here for a few centuries now."
"Centuries?!" Exclaimed Grim. "How old are you?"
"About seven hundred years give or take, hopefully take but probably give." The Doctor eyeballed Grim. "I suppose if I were to believe that you were really were the Grim Reaper that makes me the second oldest here, yes?"
"Doctor, I've lost the will to live," interrupted Mandy. "Can we just get this over and done with, then you can take us back to Endsville and we can forget we ever met you?"
"Fine."
The group walked through the main entrance and approached the ticket kiosk.
"Family of four?" Asked the kiosk clerk.
"What?" Said the Doctor, confused.
"You'll be wanting a family ticket, yes? You, your children," the clerk said, pointing to Billy and Mandy, "and your wife there." The clerk indicated he meant Grim.
"My what?" The Doctor exclaimed, before turning to look at the Reaper. "Oh right, yes of course! We're on a family outing. Isn't that right, my little jelly baby?" The Doctor said to Grim, grinning. Grim looked startled.
"I feel strangely violated," said Mandy, a look of pure disgust on her face.
"I want a jelly baby," said Billy.
The clerk looked at the two kids and said, "why do your children have American accents? Actually, I don't want to know, it's not my job to know. I'm just paid to print tickets. Besides, you're holding up the queue."
The Doctor and company looked behind them, the only other person queuing was the lady they had seen when they first exited the Tardis. Mavis raised an eyebrow at the Doctor, but kept her distance from the strange quartet.
"That'll be five pound fifty, please," the clerk continued as they all turned back round to face him.
"Do you take Euros?" Said the Doctor.
"What?"
"Oh right, yes of course, and you never will." The Doctor rummaged around in his pockets and produced a yo-yo, a pair of handcuffs, a crayon, a jug, a ball of string, and a carrot, all of which he handed to Billy to hold. Eventually, the Doctor produced a five pound note and a one pound coin and handed them to the clerk. "Don't worry about the change."
The clerk quickly printed off their ticket, handed it to the Doctor and ushered the group through the gate. As they went through, Billy spotted the headless bird sculpture.
"Awww, you poor thing!" Billy cooed to the wooden bird, patting it. The whole thing came loose and fell to the ground.
--
There really wasn't a lot to do at Birdland, except look at birds. The Doctor and the Grim Trio went from cage to cage, looking at each specimen with varying degrees of interest.
The Doctor - fascinated that so many different types of what was essentially the same creature could evolve on one tiny planet.
Grim - bored stiff because he'd seen much more exotic birds in millennia past that were now extinct.
Mandy - bored stiff because she was Mandy.
Billy - fascinated by his own hand, the fingers that seemed to wriggle almost independent of each other.
Mandy grabbed the Doctor's scarf, tightened it slightly around his neck, and pulled him down so that his face was level with hers. "Doctor, have you been sent to punish me for some reason?" She asked the Time Lord. "It's just that I'm beginning to think I'm dead and that this is my own personal hell."
"Calm down, Mandy, we're over half way through. Another hour or so and we'll never have to see each other again."
"An hour? Another name for eternity, perhaps?" Mandy let go of the scarf.
The Doctor righted himself. "Not quite. Besides, we're about to enter the Tropical House."
"Sounds as about as exciting as gouging out my own eyes with out a corkscrew."
"Even more fun than that," the Doctor said as he lead the others into what looked like a massive greenhouse.
Inside it was almost like a mini tropical forest. Tall plants grew either side of a relatively narrow pathway that lead around the complex. Birds flew freely above them from branch to branch. Several of the birds spotted Billy, paused for a brief moment, then proceeded to dive towards him and peck at his face.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!" Screamed the boy, as two dozen birds engulfed him and sent him writhing to the floor.
"That's it, I'm out of here," said Mandy, seemingly ignoring the commotion and heading out of the Tropical House back the way they came. "Come on, Billy, stop messing around."
"I taste blood!" Screamed the red-headed child, as he tried in vain to fend off the birds.
Mandy shooed the birds away with ease and dragged the battered and bruised boy out of the door, past Mavis who was just entering the Tropical House. Mavis paused for a moment, then followed the two children out.
--
"But if we leave the Doctor, we'll never get back to Endsville!" Protested Billy, who was now on his feet and following Mandy along the paths of Birdland.
"Relax, doofus, we'll just find a canteen or something and sit it out. He'll come find us when it's time to leave."
"Awww, but I wanted to see the phoenix up close!"
"Somehow Billy, I doubt they've got one."
"Oh yeah? So what's that, then?" Billy pointed towards the cage that housed the mysterious bird. Mandy looked at the creature.
"I … I don't know," stammered the girl, as the pair walked towards it. She read the temporary placard out loud. "'The Mysterious Bird of Birdland'. Curious."
"Yeah! Cur-ee-ous-ous-os-osage!"
"That too. I wonder what the heck this thing is?" Mandy stared at the bird, who stared right back at her. The creature began to snarl, and without warning took to flight. It flew straight up and smashed through the wire frame that formed the top of the cage, as if it were candy floss. Mandy watched as the creature circled the Tropical House a couple of times, before smashing right through the glass roof of the enclosure.
Mavis, who had been keeping a distance from the children but was still close enough to hear their conversation, had also seen the bird fly through the roof. She gasped, and began to make her way back towards the Tropical House.
"Come on, Billy," shouted Mandy, as the children ran towards the complex.
They ran past Mavis, who called out to them. "Wait, children, stop!"
They did not hear her.
--
"Did you hear that, boy?" Exclaimed Berton, looking up from his newspaper and placing his lukewarm tea on the table.
"Yes, sounded like glass breaking!" Replied Tony.
"Hmm, sounds like it came from the Tropical House! Come on, Tony, let's go have a look. You might have something to clear up, so bring your rubber gloves and dustpan!"
--
Billy and Mandy burst back into the Tropical House, closely followed by Mavis.
"Doctor, what is that thing?" Mandy called out.
The bird was hovering two or three feet below the hole it had made in the ceiling. Its wings were outstretched, however it wasn't flapping them. It was literally just floating there, staring at the congregating group.
"What is going on here?" Shouted Mavis as she came to a halt next to the group. At that moment, Tony and Mr. Berton rushed through the entrance.
"What the Dickens?" Shouted Berton. "How did my new attraction get up there?"
The Doctor turned round to Mavis and the blokes. "Why hello there, I'm the Doctor, this is the Reaper, that's the Idiot, and that little girl there is the Psychopath."
Mandy glared at the Doctor. "We can trade insults later, Doctor! In the meantime would you mind telling us what the hell that thing is?!"
"Not a clue, Mandy, looks like a bird to me."
"That's not very helpful, Doc!"
"Allow me to clear things up a bit," the mysterious bird said. It spoke with an upper class English accent, slowly and clearly.
"Who or what are you?" Asked the Doctor.
"My name is Aak, and I'm a Thraptusian!"
"What do you want?"
"Why, Doctor! That is your name, isn't it? I want you all to DIE!"
With that, the bird's eyes began to glow red. All the birds in the enclosure suddenly fell silent and flew to Aak's side. They faced the group of people, and hovered as if hypnotised.
"My feathered brethren," Aak began, calmly. "I command you to attack the humans. Destroy them. Destroy them all."
The birds began to advance on the group.
Billy grabbed on to Mandy and held tight. She did not push him away.
Doctor Who/the Doctor and the Tardis belong to the BBC.
Grim, Billy and Mandy belong to Maxwell Atoms and Cartoon Network.
All other characters are mine.
The real Birdland is property of the owners of Birdland. Please look it up on the net, it's good, I've been there!