A/N: Well haven't done a RDR story in a while so here is this one to make up for that! Definitely a Bonnie/John and John/Abigail story and there are many other pairings which makes it much more hard and difficult for some of the characters! This is going to be a story of many feels…please read and hopefully enjoy!

Warnings: Language and suggestive themes

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One

John's made a lot of mistakes in his day; they still happen today. He was born to a beautiful crack whore mother and a bastard father who knew a lot about a couple things. He was definitely more educated than his mother anyone who knew them could say just that. John couldn't control the way he was raised, the way he was born and the life he'd be born into. It didn't work that way.

His mother died at child birth and a few years after his father was killed in a bar fight. Some lucky child John was, he was sent to an orphanage after his family's death. He had nothing left no one was there for him.

John was a hated child by a lot of folk, some hated him, despised him and others, well them others even loved him. He wasn't always a sweet child, not for long anyway. He grew up rough and mean; he rolled with a serious gang at the age of nineteen. They drank booze, stole from folk, and the rich folk at that that didn't deserve a thing they possessed and they even killed. John grew up loving standing behind the butt of the gun; he loved firing that one bullet through the air, hearing it crackle and pop. It was almost music to his ears and that's when he met that dark haired beauty. He didn't really remember her name but all the other members of his gang seemed to love the hell outta' her.

Dutch, the leader of the gang had gotten her from a dirty old saloon somewhere far from here but for a whore she was so beautiful. She was young too just like John and he seemed to like that; he would talk to her and laugh with her even crack a few jokes with her but every time he'd see her again she would have a new colored bruise on her creamy skin.

He always wondered what she did with those men in those tents; he didn't quite understand the meaning of being a 'whore' even after his father told him. Sleeping around with strange men was all he knew but she looked too sweet and innocent to do such a thing.

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He remembered the first time they shared a kiss; it was soft and sweet. It was dark and quiet and nothing was there to bother them. She soon became a part of the gang as the years went on; she had sex with all of them and even John.

John was the sweetest out of them all though. He didn't hurt her nor did he yell at her if she did something wrong. He didn't care; these days running in Dutch's gang seemed to go by pretty fast now that Abigail had decided to choose a man and that man was John Marston that 20 some year old sharp-shooter. Dutch hated John for that and so did Bill and Javier.

Bill Williamson and Abigail had a sexual relationship for a while before she called it off and decided to go to John, that's when she became pregnant with their son Jack and their little girl Jessie.

They still remained in the gang for a few more years before Dutch kicked them out, John the age 28 and Abigail 26. They had nowhere to go…until John worked at his building skills and built them a lovely ranch in Beecher's Hope. Abigail had never been more in love with John than she was now. They had a family and everything was going to be alright; the past was behind them now…

…there were many secrets hiding within John Marston. Secrets that would crush his entire family if told today.

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1911 Beecher's Hope

"More potato soup darlin'?" John's rough hands slid up Abigail's little arms stopping at her shoulders watching over her. She sighed with a smile; she turned around after setting the ladle down staring her husband in the eyes.

"What's wron' with my potato soup?" she breathed hard hands on John's hips. The man smiled back and kissed her. The kiss was so long Abigail only knew John was trying to ignore that question putting his arms around her; moments after the kiss Abigail returned back to her cooking while John left in search of Jack, who was currently roaming outside with Uncle. What a lovely family he had, they were all just beautiful and everything he ever wanted. That was until Abigail found that scar, that little scar just above his left ear.

They used to make love now all there was were small kisses and careless glances. It was John's fault for all of this; he had to tell her the truth…he did.

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E/N: Well tell me what you guys think of this beginning chapter! I hope it was good enough to continue on with the rest of the story!