A Day To Remember 3
Everybody's Fool
She pushed her red hair out of her face as she stared longingly at the classroom was twelve years old and hated school. There were two days left before summer, which she dreaded even more than school. Her old black and white converse low tops were fading and scuffed, and her denim shorts showed off her pale, scrawny legs. Her black spaghetti strap tank top exposed her bare shoulders, which was out of code, but no one followed code in the summer. Not even Erin 'FreakGirl' Ulmer. The last day of school, was the most pathetic, ridiculous day of Erin's life. They had a stupid dance and a stupid carnival, which Erin may not have thought was stupid if she actually had someone to enjoy it with.
She walked into the schoolyard and stood by herself. Sporting a black and gray fitted tee shirt and a pair of stonewash denim shorts, and her ever popular converse, she walked into the school dance. All the girls wore skirts and dresses, and the boys wore their shorts, and everyone was having a great time. Erin was minding her own business at the carnival, when some boy in her grade ripped her necklace off and threw it into a funbounce. Erin chased after it, ending up alone in the funbouce, searching for her necklace, given to her by her Grandpa when she was little. Suddenly, the inflatable ground beneath her began to turn flaccid. The walls were deflating, and the ceiling caved in on her. She grabbed the chain off the floor, and began to scream for help, in fear she'd suffocate. A crew worker grabbed her waist and pulled her out. To her dismay, Erin's little episode had caused a crowd to gather. Her classmates began laughing as she gasped, frightened at her most recent humiliating experience. Her face immediately flushed and matched her red hair. She released herself from the carnie who pulled her out of the deflating deathtrap, and bolted out of the schoolyard. She didn't know or care where she went, as long as it wasn't school. Or home.
Isn't Something Missing?
Tears streaked her pale face as she ran, the hot air burned her eyes, and her bangs stuck to her forehead. She found herself face down on the ground, with a bloody knee. A boy in a pair of dark denim jeans and a black tee shirt with a bright green skull on it walked over to help her up.
"You okay?" He asked, extending his hand to her.
She looked at him, and sat back, curling her knees into her chest, examining the damage. She stood up, and winced at the site of her cut up knee. "You tripped over my sidewalk, I could at least get you a band aid." The boy said.
"Okay." that was the first word she'd said in three weeks. No one even noticed. She followed the boy up his steps, and stood outside until he came back with a bottle of peroxide and a band aid. "You can um...clean it with this." She took the bottle and a paper towel and wiped the blood off. Then she put the band aid on, and stood up. She began walking away. "Thanks," she mumbled.
"I'm Ian," he called after her.
She turned around and looked at him. "Erin." She stated flatly, and continued walking away. The boy called Ian retreated back into his house, as Erin tried to find a place to sulk.
Erin's home-life was...normal. So what made this normal little girl so quiet and meek? A secret she'd kept since she was seven years old. Erin has an older brother named Josh. Josh's life long best friend was Kyle Palters. When Erin was just seven years old, Josh and Kyle were thirteen. Erin was a normal, happy little girl, until the summer day when she was sitting in her bedroom, and Josh was babysitting her. Kyle came over to hang out. The three of them went in Erin's pool, and Erin got out to go upstairs and play. Their house was fairly large and easy to get lost in. Erin went into her bedroom, and closed the door. She started peeling of her wet swimsuit, and put it on the tub in her adjacent bathroom. While she was in the bathroom, Kyle opened her bedroom door, walked behind her, and grabbed her, slapping his hand over her mouth to prevent her from screaming. He pushed the tiny girl on the floor, and began to assault her. She was crying when he was done, he smoothed back her hair, and whispered, "You can't tell anybody about this. It's our special secret. Okay? If you tell anyone, I'll have to hurt you. And I don't want to hurt you. Okay?" Erin nodded, and tried to push him off her. He got up, and went back outside. Erin curled up in a ball, and grabbed her pretty white sun-dress she planned on wearing. Instead, she ran into the bathroom and took a shower. She may have only been seven, but she still felt dirty.
Erin kept those events to herself, and stayed as far away from Kyle as she could. She hated him. He was what made her like this, and for the past five years, she hadn't been able to feel like a normal person.
Try to Stay Out of Everybody's Way
Erin walked back to the schoolyard, the place she hated most. She walked into the classroom, and took a seat in the back of the room. At lunch, she picked a corner table in the back, and started to dissect the sandwich her mother made her. She drank her drink, and soon enough, she heard a chair slide away from her table. To her surprise, it scooted back in. She looked up. It was the kid that gave her the band aid over the summer. "Band Aid Boy?" Erin impulsively blurted out. It wasn't his name, but at least she recognized him.
"Bloody Knee Girl?" Ian attempted humor. Erin's face turned red, and she glared down at her soda. "It was your stupid sidewalk that tripped me." She mumbled under her breath. "I'm sorry," he said, embarrassed. Erin picked the remains of her lunch up and walked to the trash can. Ian thought he hurt her feelings, but shockingly, she came and sat back down. "Ian?" She asked. "Erin." He stated. They shared an awkward glance, until Erin finally spoke. "So who are you." "I'm Ian McKinley...my grandfather did all kinds of things with this town, hence the name, and that's really it. You?" "Erin Ulmer. Nothing special...nothing special at all." Ian nodded, and stared at the table. "So I've never seen you before."
"We actually just moved back from Vermont." He replied.
"Oh, really?"
"My grandfather died, so my dad inherited the property...we live in a normal house because they closed the mansion, and are making it into a museum..."
"Oh...cool." Erin felt comfortable talking to Ian. It was strange. For both of them.
Ian liked Erin. He was the new kid, and had a friend already. At least, he thought he did. Erin liked being alone. She didn't have to talk, so she didn't run the risk of screaming at the top of her lungs, "he raped me!"
This boy followed her around the school, and talked to her as if they were friends. He simply would not leave her alone. On the fifth day of school, Erin had had enough of Ian following her around. She decided she was going to ask him what his problem was, but he was absent the day she wanted to confront him. He was absent three days more. When he came back to school, he wore a sweatshirt all day, even though it was hot, and had a swollen lip, and the remnants of a black eye. Erin thought maybe he had gotten into a fight.
At lunch, Ian sat with Erin again. He looked out of focus as he stared down at the table. He had no lunch with him, and Erin felt sort of bad for him. She offered him half of her sandwich, but he declined. "Are you alright?" Erin asked a little concerned.
Ian didn't answer. His eye twitched and his lip quivered. "What's wrong. You can tell me. It's okay." Erin asked, trying to make eye contact with him. He stood up and ran out of the cafeteria, crying. Kids screamed things at him like "Homo, fag, gay, etc." Erin felt so bad. She chased after him, and caught him in the hallway. "Ian, this is serious, tell me what happened to you!?"
"I can't..." He sobbed.
"Look, you can tell me. I'm your friend. Did you get in a fight?"
"My-my-my d-dad," he stuttered. "My dad hit me again, but it's never been this bad before."
"Oh god...um does your mom know?"
"She left when I was little. She lives in LA...she could be dead...we don't know. I'm stuck with him. He has all this money, and all he does all day is drink. So when I mess up, or I'm not dressed how he wants, he beats me...but I've never had to miss school because of it."
"Oh...I'm so sorry." She pulled him into a hug and contemplated telling him about Kyle, but decided against it. She felt bad he didn't have anyone to tell him that it'd all be okay... "you can come to my house if you need to." Erin said unthinkingly. She barely knew this kid, but she needed to let him know he wasn't alone.
"Thank you," he whispered. A teacher walked into the hallway, and yelled at them for close contact. "Please don't tell anyone about this...I have nowhere else to go." Ian looked her in the eyes.
"You have my word." Great, another secret. Just what she needed.
You're Just A Stranger To Me...
That night, Erin was sitting in her room reading a book. It was about ten thirty on a Friday night. She heard a noise outside, and looked out her window. Ian was standing there, searching in his bag for something. She opened her window and stuck her head out. "Ian," she whispered loudly.
"I know this is awkward, and you probably didn't mean it, but really. I need to talk to you."
"Okay. I'll be downstairs in a second."
She pulled a hoodie on and ran down the stairs. "What's up? Are you okay?" She asked.
"Um...not really...I um...wanted to know if I could stay here tonight."
"What about your dad?"
"That's the problem...it was either leave, get hit, or kill myself...and I'd rather not kill myself, or have any more pain inflicted...please Erin. I have no where to go...no one cares what happens to me."
"Okay...let's go inside, and I'll ask my mom...but you might need to tell her about your dad."
"I can't. Plus nothing will happen. We own this town...they'll think I'm just some bratty reject kid."
"Okay. Come in."
"Mom..." Erin pried. "I need to ask you something important."
"What is it sweetie?" She walked into the hallway. "Who's this?" She smiled.
"This is my friend Ian...he needs a place to stay...um...like badly. Can he stay in the spare room. Please?"
"Oh...Erin...I don't know. Did you ask you parents?"
"That's the problem..." Ian mumbled.
Erin's mother, Denise, began to understand what was wrong with Ian. Denise was very perceptive...just like Erin. "Alright honey. Come here. Did you eat dinner yet?" She lead him into the kitchen, and Erin followed.
Denise set the table for six. Erin, Josh, herself, Ian, and Erin's father Mike...who was plate six for? "Mom, why are there six plates?" Erin asked.
"Oh, Josh is at Kyle's, he's having him come over for dinner. He may spend the night." Erin sat up straight. Kyle frightened her. He stared at her, as if wondering how her body had changed since she was seven.
"Something wrong honey?" Her father walked into the dining room and kissed the top of her head, noticing her blank expression.
"What, no...nothing...I just spaced out."
"Okay...hey who's your friend?" He asked.
"This is Ian," Denise started, "he's spending the night. He's a very nice young man...he's very funny and intelligent. Just like my Erin." Denise smiled at Erin.
Then, a car pulled into Erin's driveway. Laughter and joking could be heard outside the front door. Two normal eighteen year old boys...Erin shrunk into her chair, dreading the site of Kyle. She hated him. She always would.
Josh and Kyle entered the dining room laughing hysterically about something. Erin glared spitefully at him. "What's up Ulmers?!" Kyle obnoxiously shouted, "hey Erin...don't look so pissed at the world!" Like he had any right to talk to her.
"What's this Sis?" Josh asked, "Boyfriend?"
"No. He's my friend Ian. He's staying here." Kyle looked kind of upset now. His smile slowly faded.
"So what's for dinner Mom?" Kyle joked. Erin rolled her eyes hatefully. Denise laughed heartily. "You boys still crack me up."
"If you only knew..." Erin thought to herself. Denise started serving the food, and then sat down and began to eat. Erin could see Kyle staring at her from the corner of his eye. She didn't touch her food, opting to just push it around her plate. Ian scarfed down three plates of food, and then noticed Erin's face. She looked fearful. Every so often, she'd glance over at her brother's friend and cross her arms tighter over her chest.
Kyle began telling some obnoxious story, and every so often, Josh would add to it. Erin had finally had enough, so she got up and ran to her room. She just wanted to scream. She controlled herself and stood at the top of the stairs. "Ian," she called, her voice shaking with tears. He got up and went upstairs. "What's wrong?" He asked.
"Nothing...I just...I don't like Kyle too much."
"Oh...yeah he seems kind of obnoxious."
"I hate him."
"Why?"
"I just do."
"You have to have a reason."
"I. Just. Do."
"There's a reason to hate someone. I mean, I don't even hate my dad, what could that kid have ever done to you."
"He's a psychopath."
"How do you know?"
"I just do."
"Why do you think that."
"He hurt me."
"What did he do to you."
"He's evil."
"What makes you say that?"
"BECAUSE HE RAPED ME WHEN I WAS SEVEN!" Erin screamed at the top of her lungs, tears violently streaming down her face.
Ian stood there. Speechless. Downstairs, they were still talking and laughing. No one heard Erin scream.
"You can't tell anyone. He said he'd hurt me. Don't tell anyone Ian!"
"Are you kidding me?! He raped you! He violated you! You were a little girl and he took that away from you! How can you not tell anyone that?!"
"Just don't...I will when I'm ready. Okay? I promise. Okay?"
"Fine." Ian replied.
"C-can I show you something?" Erin asked him.
"Sure. Anything." He replied.
"Okay." She sat on her bed and pushed her boxer pajama shorts up, exposing her entire pale, skinny thigh. She revealed a group of tiny white scars on her inner upper thigh. "I did this to myself. And I liked it." She started crying again.
"God um...when did you do it last?"
"About two months ago...I haven't seen or thought about Kyle since then. I think that's why I do it. I don't want to. I'm so afraid...I don't wanna do this to myself anymore."
"Okay...where's your razor, or whatever you used to cut with?"
"In my bathroom cabinet."
Ian took Erin's hand and walked into her bathroom. He opened up the cabinet and took out a small blade. "This is it?" He asked. Erin nodded. Ian took it and put in his pocket. "You'll never see this again. Okay?"
"More than okay. Perfect."
"Great." Ian smiled. "You'll be fine." Erin smiled at him, and dried her eyes.
"Hey, wanna go watch movies all night? I don't know about you but I love horror."
"Seriously? Me too!"
"Awesome! I have a whole channel of rentals...old and new...amazing...yeah?"
"Totally."
Ian and Erin went downstairs. Kyle and Josh went upstairs. Erin's mother was cleaning, and her father was in the computer room working. They had the living room to themselves. Tonight would be fun. It would be a day to remember.
My Beautiful Rescue
They watched over fifteen movies, well into the night. Denise, finished with her cleaning spree was on her way to bed, and passed through the living room. She was greeted with Ian and Erin fast asleep. It was quite cute. They were on the floor, Ian was leaning back on the couch, with Erin's head in his lap. Denise was quite the memory keeper, and she figured Ian would be around for a while. She just had to take a picture of this. She got her camera and called Mike quietly into the room. "Aren't they adorable?" Denise smiled. She snapped the picture and looked at it. She smiled at it. "Imagine if they got married? They'd be so cute."
"Denise. They are twelve years old. He seems like a nice kid, but why is he staying in my house with my daughter again?"
"I'll tell you upstairs."
Once in their bedroom, Denise sat on their bed.
"Did you see the bruises on his arms, and his swollen lip, and his eye?"
"Yeah. Boys play around. They get hurt."
"No...no Mike. Not him. His father abuses him."
"Well shouldn't we tell the police?"
"His last name is McKinley. His father is Andrew McKinley. They aren't going to do anything to him. They can't. He's the law."
"Nisey...I don't know what to say...that poor kid. Why'd he come here?"
"He doesn't have anyone but Erin. Not even family."
"He can stay...it's good. I mean Erin doesn't really get along with the other kids at school."
"I know...I don't understand what happened to her. She was so happy...I don't know what I did wrong with her."
"Denise, we did nothing wrong. She's our beautiful little girl. She's just quiet, and people don't understand that."
"But they're so mean to her. They don't even give her a chance. Josh was never like this."
"Josh and Erin are completely different. Plus she has Ian now. I'm sure they'll be friends. Look at them...they seem close already, and since he came to her when he needed help, he must trust her. She'll be fine."
"I hope so." Denise said before going to sleep.
That morning, Erin's house was filled with the sent of French toast, eggs, bacon, sausage, and coffee. Erin was jolted awake by someone kicking her leg. It was Kyle. She was still laying in Ian's lap, and he was still asleep. She shook him awake and rolled over to look at Kyle. "What do you want?" She hissed.
"Aren't you a bit young for that?" He smirked.
"No. A seven year old is a bit young. Don't you agree Ian?"
"Definitely." He nodded. Kyle looked between the two and walked into the kitchen.
"Hate him," Erin sneered under her breath.
"You have to tell your mom." Ian stated seriously.
"I know." Erin sighed.
"I'm here for you when you do." Erin smiled at him and hugged him.
"Thank you." She whispered.
"You know, I didn't have any reason to smile until I met you." Ian said. Erin thought he sounded like a poet.
"You should be a poet. I think you'd be great at it." She said quickly. "My birthday's in two weeks. Are you coming to celebrate?"
"Mine's in a week! Of course I will." He smiled. She thought it was funny how close their birthdays were.
"Hey let's eat. Okay?" She smiled.
"Sounds good." Erin got up and Ian followed her into the kitchen. The sat next to each other at the table. Denise served Josh and Kyle, and then Mike. She placed a plate in front of Erin, kissing the top of her head. Then she did the same for Ian.
After breakfast, Erin went upstairs to take a shower. Josh and Kyle started harassing Ian.
"So," Kyle started, "you like Erin?"
"Yeah. Of course. She's really nice."
"Too bad. She's off limits. She's ours." Josh said, infuriating Ian.
"Hey man, I gotta go get my stuff from your room. Mom wants me home by twelve." Kyle said, getting up and going upstairs. At that time, Erin simultaneously turned the water off.
Do I Have to Scream For You to Hear Me?
Erin was standing in the bathroom in a towel, brushing her wavy red hair. She was thinking about how bad Ian's life is. She walked into her bedroom to get dressed, when she spotted Kyle. "Not again!" She thought. He grabbed her and covered her mouth with his hand. Shoving her against the wall violently, he menacingly hissed, "so you told your little boyfriend out secret? What's wrong with you? Do you WANT me to hurt you?!"
"No," she tried to squeak. Kyle was pushing her head into the wall, and she was crying. He had her lifted off the floor. Then he dropped her down, causing a thud. "You little bitch." He sneered. Erin collapsed to the ground crying.
She composed herself. "At least he didn't rape me again." She whispered through violent tears. She pulled a pair of jeans on and a fitted black tee shirt. Ian took a shower and got dressed as well.
"I wanna go somewhere..." Erin mused.
"Where?" Ian asked.
"I don't know...anywhere."
"Movies?"
"Nah...nothing good's playing. Isn't there an amusement park like right outside here? Like Red River Adventure Park? I think they just added a huge roller coaster. How about there?"
"Sure. Sounds like fun. How are we getting there?"
"Josh could take us...or my mom."
"Okay."
"I'll ask my mom." She laughed.
Once at the amusement park, Ian and Erin got passes for al the rides. Denise didn't mind taking them. She loved Ian. He was such a nice boy, and she could tell he needed Erin. Ian and Erin saved the best for last. The Devil's Flight roller coaster. They went on and had a blast.
Hanging By A Moment Here With You...
When they got back to Erin's house, they watched more movies. Around ten thirty, they were alone in the living room watching some cheap horror movie. Erin looked over at Ian. Ian looked over at Erin. She leaned over and gave him a short yet sweet, simple kiss on the lips. Then she smiled and looked at him. He smiled and looked at her. Once again, they fell asleep together in her living room.
The next morning however, was slightly awkward. Erin woke up, and got Ian up. They had to go to church. After church, they went out for breakfast. Ian and Erin got back to her house, and sat in the living room. Neither had any idea what to do. Denise was vacuuming the upstairs rooms when the door bell rang. "Erin, could you get that please?" Erin stood up and Ian followed her to the door. Erin didn't recognize the woman who greeted her, but Ian turned a ghostly shade of white, this was the last face he'd expected to see.
This Time I'm Not Going to Watch Myself Die
"Mom?" Ian said in disbelief.
"Let's go. Now. You're father called me up frantic. He had no clue where you went. Who are these people?" She paused, "Ian! Ian, answer me, I am your mother!"
"No you aren't." He declared quietly.
"Excuse me?" She hissed.
"In the two days I've been here, Denise has been more of a mother to me than you ever were. You left me when I was six years old! You left me with an abusive alcoholic psychopath! How can you even believe you're a mother?! You've never done anything for me!"
"I left because neither one of you were worth anything. You've proved that to me."
"How, how have I done that?"
"You're boarded up here with some little whore. Just like your father."
"Don't ever compare me to him!" Ian yelled.
"Let's go." His mother grabbed his arm and started pulling him out the door. Erin had started calling her mother, who came immediately down the stairs.
"Who are you?" Denise demanded.
"Lily. Lily McKinley. I've come to get my son." Denise looked at Ian's face, noticing his discomfort.
"I know about you. Do you realize the kind of place you left him in? He could have been killed! He missed school because your husband hits him so bad! He had to come here because the abuse got so bad! How dare you take this child back there." Lily released Ian and stepped back.
"Fine. I'll let your father deal with you," she bitterly said. Ian stood still, staring at Lily.
"Mrs. McKinley, I suggest you leave my house right now, before I involve the authorities." Denise declared. Lily left, leaving Ian standing alone and confused. Denise hugged Ian and said, "it's okay honey. We like you. We'll take care of you, and Erin will always be your friend." Ian closed his eyes and sighed. Just two days with the Ulmers showed him what a family was like. It showed him what he was missing.
Every Time We Touch I Get This Feeling
Ian walked up the steps of Erin's massive house. He was there for one reason. He needed to be with her just one more time before he left for good. He rang the doorbell and waited for her to answer. She did, and looked completely stunned to see him.
He pulled her in for a kiss, and things heated from there. He didn't go there to screw around with her, but it seemed like that was where it was going. Erin kissed him back, longing for the familiar comfort in his lips.
He managed to get inside the house, and get his shirt off. Off came Erin's, soon followed by everything else. She was left in just her panties, her matching bra discarded on the floor, while Ian, clad only in his boxers kissed her neck hungrily. Her mind began to race as he started getting riskier and riskier, and she started to push him away. This only made him want her more.
"No Ian, stop. Please." She gasped.
"I can't Pip, I love you so much."
"I love you too, but not like before, just stop! I don't wanna...do...this...right...now...oh god." She protested without luck.
"Come on Erin, it's been so long."
"Mmph, fine Ian."
She gave into him, as she always did. She loved the feel of his form entwined with her own. It felt...right. Erin lie in her bed, with the covers pulled up to her chest, wondering why she decided to sleep with Ian again. She glanced over at his sleeping body, and smiled. He was so cute and sweet and nice and perfect. She loved him so much. He trailed her hand down his bare back and allowed herself to drift into a deep sleep. She woke up about an hour later, to find him gone. She figured his dad probably called him or something, and just let it go. To hide evidence from her mother of her devious behavior, Erin rolled over and grabbed a black tank top and a pair of boy-shorts out of her drawer.
Who Knew?
Erin was expecting a quiet evening alone. Josh was off at college, and Ian was at his house for the night. Her parents were out at some dinner, socializing and having a ball. Erin's plans included reading a nice, long novel, curled up on the couch, with a movie on as background. She settled down, wrapped a blanket around her small form and began to read. Then the doorbell rang. She put the book down and stood up. Opening the door, her dull face came alive, and her deep blue eyes lit up. "Zip!" She exclaimed. She kissed him on the lips and frowned. "You've been smoking again...Ian, I told you, it tastes like I'm licking an ashtray babe."
"Sorry," he quietly said.
"So what brings you here?"
"I need to talk to you."
"Okay, what's up?" She smiled. Ian took her hand and lead her to the couch. He sat her down, sat beside her and looked deeply into her eyes. "Erin," he started, "I don't know how to put this, but I...um...I uh...I...we need some-"
"Spit it out Ian."
"We need to stop this."
"Stop what?" Erin asked, truly confused.
"Us." A grim realization washed over Erin's face. Tears began to well up in her eyes.
"No," she quietly breathed.
"Erin," Ian put his hand on her shoulder.
"How can you do this?! After all these years! After all this time! Don't touch me!"
"Listen, it's for the best-"
"No, no it isn't. What did I do wrong? I can fix it! I can change! Let me do better! Please, please don't leave me!"
Ian walked towards the door, and Erin was hysterically blubbering. Her voice was usually sweet, quiet and controlled, but now it was raspy and inflicted with pain. She was on her knees begging, pleading Ian not to walk away from her. "Erin stop!" He hollered.
"No! You can't! Stop!" She rasped, grabbing his leg.
"Don't do this to yourself."
"But I love you," she hysterically whimpered, "you said forever! You said you love me! You said you did last night! You didn't lie! You couldn't have lied to me! You didn't!"
"Maybe I did. Maybe I'm just a horrible, evil asshole. Like Kyle."
"How dare you! You don't know! You aren't the same Ian! You're someone else now! How could you do this to me?!" She wailed. Ian shook her off and began turning the doorknob.
"No! Ian come back! Don't leave me!"
"I can't!" He shouted, his voice filled with rage–or maybe tears?
"Come back!" She wailed uncontrollably, her voice echoing throughout the night. Ian heard her pleading continuously in his head.
Meanwhile, Erin was left, screaming on the floor of the foyer. "No," she sobbed uncontrollably to no one. The door opened once more, Erin was laying on the floor, curled in a ball with hot tears running down her pale face. Her mother immediately ran up to her. "Erin! What happened sweetie?"
"He-he-he-he l-l-left me-he-he-he!" She sobbed.
"What? Honey, I can't understand you."
"Ian l-left m-me. I-I-I don't know why! I don't know what I did!" She started to cry like a baby, her mother's arms being the only means of support for her petite body.
So You're Gone and I'm Haunted
School. She was still a junior. She still had another year of hell. The gossip had already spread about their breakup. Erin had no clue how it had spread so fast.
She walked through the doors, looking down at the ground, not daring to make eye contact with anyone. She could feel their stares peering into her anyway. These girls Clarissa and Larissa walked up to Erin. They were two annoying blonde girls with high pitched voices and look at me look at me attitudes. "Like oh my god, we're so sorry," Clarissa stated. "Mhm," Larissa nodded. Erin glared at the two nitwits and shut her locker.
Just then, Ian passed by her. She kept her focus on the locker door, and from the side of her eye, she saw him look back at her. She didn't bother, in the fear she'd end up in hysterics again. Her day was mundane and lifeless. She was back to being totally alone. She couldn't bare the thought of all she had given to Ian. For one, she told him everything. She gave him all her love, especially that night on the beach when she was fourteen.
Flashback:
They'd spent the whole day on the beach. Now, they were laying on a blanket in the sand, their faces shadowed by the milky twilight. Ian wrapped his arm around Erin. She leaned in and kissed him on the lips, and things just took off from there. Before she knew it, her bikini was lying in the sand, in a pile with Ian's bathing suit trunks. No one was around to see their escapade, but Erin felt...perfect. Ian told her that he loved her multiple times throughout, which made her feel special. She forgot her entire past with Kyle, and just focused on the present. She focused on Ian. "Erin, I love you. I love you so much, oh god, I love you," Ian whispered in her ear. "Mhm...oh god I love you too." She sighed.
End Flashback
Erin felt a tear slip down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away and walked to her first class. One things was true, Ian had ripped her heart out and stomped on it. Then he tore it into a million little pieces. The worst thing was, the thing Ian helped her stop doing at twelve years old, she started again. She started to cut herself again. She hated herself for it, but inflicting the physical pain helped to relinquish the sharper, more bitter emotional pain.
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And If I Sleep Just To Dream of You, I'll Wake Without You There
After winter break, Erin returned to school, alone. She was lonely and yearned for human contact. Ian hadn't spoken to her since he left her. Apparently, he up and left McKinley. They were supposed to do that together. Erin didn't understand why he left her. She didn't know what was wrong with her. Every night, she'd cry herself to sleep at the thought of how she made Ian run away.
In the time that Ian left, Erin tried, she did. She tried other boys. None of them were as good to her as Ian was. Though she only had one other boyfriend and went out with one other kid, she wasn't as happy as when she was with Ian. Maybe it was because none of those boys were Ian.
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Where Were You When Everything Was Falling Apart?
It was December, another winter to bare without the only man she ever loved, Erin was in the urban part of McKinley, walking the Main Road to work. She was forced to get dressed up for her job as a receptionist in a hair salon. Today, she was sporting dark denim skinny jeans with a pair of ankle high fashionable heel boots. She was wearing a long black peacoat, and underneath a black and gray striped sweater with a black spaghetti strap tank top underneath it. Her hair hadn't changed much, except it was completely straightened that day. Her thick bags concealed her pale forehead, and her red mane of hair framed her face.
She rounded a corner, glancing down at her phone, and jogging a little bit, when she bumped into a guy. He smelled like cigarettes and Axe body spray. Just like Ian. Erin looked up, into a familiar set of eyes. The guy dropped his cigarette and stomped it out. "Pip," he greeted her. She stared at him, the pain flooding back into her deep blue eyes. "I have nothing to say to you." Erin began walking to work again. He grabbed her arm, but she shrugged him off. "Come on, let me explain!" He hollered to her. She ignored him and kept walking. She was not going to let Ian Andrew McKinley break her heart again. Ever.
At work, she could barely concentrate. Ian was encroaching on her mind. She wasn't expecting him to stay long. Though he wanted to explain why he left her, she couldn't bear to hear it. Then, he walked in the door. She still loved him. She knew she always would, and she hated it. He walked right up to the counter and started speaking to her quietly and softly. "Pip, just take the time to listen to me. Please."
"I'm working. I don't have time to talk to you right now." Erin looked at some papers on the desk, and as if on a cue, the phone rang. She answered it, and dismissed Ian with her hand. He looked at her for a moment, trying to decide if she was serious or not, then he scribbled something down on a piece of paper, and stuck it in Erin's coat pocket, unbeknownst to her. Later that day, as Erin was leaving, she stuck her hand in her pocket, and found a note. It was Ian's handwriting:
Pip, Beat's Coffee House at 7. Please meet me, We need to talk-Zip.
Erin thought for a moment. It was six fifty six. She had enough time to walk to the coffee shop, and tell Ian off. She folded the note up and began walking to the coffee shop. She spotted Ian sitting alone, waiting for her, walked up to his table, and sat down. "I'm glad you came," he said putting out a cigarette.
"I have to get home for dinner. So talk." Erin stated coldly.
"Look Pip," Ian put his hand on top of Erin's, and she drew her's back, resting it in her lap.
"Don't." She complained.
"Okay...well I didn't want to leave. I had to."
"Oh sure...and I had to wake up everyday wondering what I did wrong, and why I wasn't good enough."
"My dad was getting violent. He was threatening you and your family. I had to leave you to keep you safe...it was the best thing I could do for you."
"What?" She hissed.
"I had to protect you. I had to keep you happy. You deserved so much better than me."
"Oh...oh my god...after five years...five! You just figured that out! Ian I gave everything to you! Everything! And you took me for granted! You didn't love me! You just wanted to screw me over! That's what made it so easy for you to leave!"
"No Erin. I loved you. Hell I still do. I wanted to protect you."
"So you broke my heart?" She teared.
"I was only trying to keep you safe!"
"I was safe! I was safe because I had you! You left me alone! You left McKinley after you left me! And these damn cigarettes piss me off just as bad now as they did then!" She huffed ripping the cigarette out of his hand and crushing it. "God Ian!" She shrilled. Then, she stood up and began walking back to her car.
She was driving down the wood clad road when it set in. She began to break down, pulled the car over, and started crying hysterically. Composed, she began driving home, and pulled into her driveway. Opening the door, she could hear her father talking angrily at someone. Entering the living room, she was greeted with Ian sitting on her couch being scolded by her father.
In That Cigarette You Breathe, You Can't Get Rid of Me
"Why are you here." She said in the least of a questioning tone.
"You never let me finish expl- "
"Oh I let you finish. You finished long ago. Now get out of my life."
"Erin I need to explain something to you! I love you! I do! I need to make you understand! I couldn't stay here! My dad told me that if I stayed with a whore like you, he'd kill you, me, and your family. He followed me here one day with a loaded rifle, ready to shoot us all in the back of the head! I had to leave you! I never wanted to! I just wanted to protect you, and that was the stupidest thing I did! I went out to Vermont, thinking I could just forget you and this town, but that was impossible. I need you Erin. You're everything to me. It's like Sid and Nancy. You can't have one without the other. There is no Zip and Pip without you. There's nothing without you. Look at me. I'm eighteen years old, I've got nothing. No house, no family, no money. I sure as hell don't have the looks that would ever attract any girl, but you loved me. At least back then, I had something...when I had you, I had everything...Pip, please," he gently swiped his fingers across her paper white cheek, "please take me back. I know I'm nothing special, but I have nothing to live for without you. I never wanted to leave you babe...I just had to...I'm so sorry I did this to you." A few tears began to slide down his face.
Don't You Dare Change Your Mind
"Ian," tears threatened to escape her blue eyes. She gripped both sides of his face, and gave him a long overdue kiss. After what seemed like an eternity, they broke apart for air. "I missed you so much," he whispered, leaning their faces together. The warmth of Ian's arms encircling her slender body making her feel dizzy, she replied, "I missed you more than you could ever imagine." He kissed her again, then broke apart to speak, "I'm going to change Pip. I promise."
"No Ian," she murmured, "don't you dare change. You're mine." She kissed him again, resting her head on his chest. He smiled, leaning his chin on top of Erin's head.
Mike and Denise stared in awe. Mike didn't understand how his daughter could take back the boy that caused her so much pain, yet Denise understood fully. Mike opened his mouth to say something that would undoubtedly kill the moment, but Denise stopped him. She gave him a reassuring look, and lead him out of the room.
"How can she be so stupid?" Mike asked once he and Denise were in their bedroom.
"She isn't stupid. They love each other Mike. How do you not see that? There's a reason they're together...there's a reason he came back." Mike sighed and sat on the bed.
"When did this happen to her?"
"What do you mean?"
"When did my little girl grow up and start worrying about things like love, and all the pain she's going to get stuck with it?"
"It had to happen sometime...you don't think my parents were sitting around talking about this when I started to date you?"
"I guess they were...I just remember when she was five and we went to the lake. Josh was off with his friends, and Erin just wanted to play with me...so I took her to the dock....and she couldn't see the boats, so I picked her up and sat her on the rail. She was so afraid I'd drop her and she'd fall in the water...she wouldn't let go of my hand, and I took comfort in that...her not wanting to let go of me. But now, she completely let go. She doesn't need me. She has a job, she's leaving this summer...and now she's got her boyfriend. My kids don't need me anymore Nisey. No one does."
"Aw Mike, I need you, and Erin's always going to need her Daddy. She loves you. She always will...you just need to accept the fact that she's growing up, and she's got plenty of room in her heart for her future."
Please Don't Tell Me That I'm Dreaming
Erin and Ian went up to her room. They lay on her bed, looking at each other. "I missed you," Erin sighed. "I missed you too," Ian softly pecked Erin's plump lips. She rolled over, and snuggled closer to Ian. She took comfort in his heartbeat, in knowing that when she woke up the next morning, he'd be right there. He wrapped his arms around her familiar body and held her close to him. God he loved her, and he was an idiot for believing her could ever be without her.
That morning, the sun seemed to shine brighter than it had in a long time. Erin stretched her thin arms above her head and smiled. She looked over at Ian, he was still asleep. She rubbed his back and said, "wake up sleepyhead." Ian awkwardly rolled over and smiled up at Erin. He pulled her down for a kiss, making her squeal. They were rolling around, kissing, and only kissing when Denise walked in. "Come on guys, you wait until the morning to do this?" Denise smiled. "Breakfast is ready my loves." She closed the door and went back downstairs.
"Did I mention how awesome your mom is?" Ian chuckled. Erin messed with his hair, and took his hand.
"Let's go eat." She lead him down the stairs, and took notice to the look of relief that washed over her father's face when he saw that they were both fully clothed, in the same outfits they went to sleep in. Erin laughed quietly to herself, and pulled out a chair.
After breakfast, Erin just wanted to sit and look at Ian. He looked older since she last saw him. She sighed and leaned her head on his shoulder. "So I've been thinking," Erin started, "how would you feel if I went blonde?"
"Um...you? Why? I love your hair Pip."
"I don't know...I just want a change, and red is so...Molly Ringwald."
"Hey," Denise interrupted. She and Erin had the same shade of dark red hair, and Denise looked strikingly like Molly Ringwald.
Erin smiled, "so Zip, what do you think?"
"I, personally think you should stay a redhead, but I can't stop you. You'd look beautiful with any color hair." Erin smirked at him and kissed him.
"I'm so glad things are back to normal."
Ian took Erin out to dinner. They had a quiet dinner, their faces shadowed by candlelight. Something felt different for Erin though. She didn't feel the connection she once felt. Her parents were out that night, so when they got back, Ian opened up a bottle of wine, and dimmed the lights. He wanted to give Erin the most romantic night he could. When they had a few glasses, they started to kiss. Erin wasn't drunk. She was fully aware of what she was doing, and the fact that Ian's hand was running further and further up her thigh, pushing her dress up, and exposing her pale skin. He slipped his fingers under the hem of her underwear, and began to slide them off. "Ian," she sighed. She wasn't sure if it was an encouraging sigh or an attempt to stop him. She ended up wrapped in a blanket, naked beneath it, with Ian's equally as naked body pressed tightly against her's. The leather couch was cold beneath her bare skin.
She didn't feel any love or passion for Ian at all, and she didn't understand. Ian however, felt just as close, or closer to her than before. Erin sighed and stood up. She went upstairs and put some sweats and a black thermal shirt on. She gave Ian a pair of Josh's old pajama bottoms and a black Hane's tee shirt to sleep in. She knew in the morning, she needed to talk to him. Immediately.
Your Love is the Barrel of a Gun
Erin was sitting in the kitchen, sipping a cup of coffee when Ian woke up. "Hello Beautiful," Ian smiled. Erin forced a smirk, and said, "So, how do you feel about last night?"
"Uh...well....wow...it's been too long since I've held you like that."
"You didn't feel any different?"
"Yeah. Of course. I felt like I loved you more. Why Pip?"
"Um...just wondering," she smiled fakely. He walked over to her and kissed the top of her head.
"I love you so much Pip." He said. Erin stood up and walked up the stairs. She came back down, dressed in a black tee shirt and her usual faded jeans. "Ian...I think we need to have a talk."
"About what?"
"Us," Erin sighed. "I don't think...I mean...I don't feel the same...like I love you...but a little bit less...if that makes sense." She watched Ian's face fall. The time apart had given her time to explore other guys...he figured he'd come back and they'd be the same as before he left. God only knew if she'd slept with anyone else, and how many guys she let use her while Ian was gone.
"Well...um..." Ian tried to find words.
"Look...I don't know what to do...I love you. I do, but I just don't love you like I did before. I really don't know what to do..." Erin felt a few tears slip down her cheeks.
"Look Pip," Ian wrapped his arms around her, "I sort of noticed something was different...but I thought it was better."
"No...I don't know...I just need some time. To get used to you being back, and I don't think we should be physical for a while. I need to sort out my mind..."
If You Need Time, I Guess I'll Go Away
"I'm sorry Ian." Erin said, watching him leave her house.
"It's fine. I understand." He kissed her, and gave her a tight squeeze. "I'm gonna miss you...because I love you."
"I love you too." She released herself from his arms, and stepped back. She sighed, staring at him. He walked to his car, and got in. Erin walked back inside. She sat down and thought for a moment. Time would be good. She needed it. He came back so suddenly, she couldn't possible love him. Not the way she did before.
Erin began to question herself. She figured Ian was too, because his car didn't start for about ten minutes. "Oh god," she whispered brokenly. She stood up and ran out the door, up the street, chasing after Ian's van.
Meanwhile, Ian wasn't even paying attention to the road in front of him. His eyes glanced at the rearview mirror, and he saw Erin chasing after him. Her flowing red hair trailing behind her, she shouted for him. He stopped the van and turned it around. Erin was crying as she looked at Ian. He rolled the window down and looked at her.
"Zip I made a huge mistake! I do need you and want you. Please come back with me."