Me in Black Ops Zombies
Kino Der Toten
Me: Hi I'm Nathan!
Dempsy: Hi.
Me: Hi I'm Nathan
Dempsy: you just said that!
Me: hi I'm Nathan!
Dempsy: Stop saying that!
Me: Hi I'm Nathan!
(Dempsey explodes)
Nicolai: …
Richtolfkin: …
Creepy Chinese guy: …
Me: Hi I'm Nathan!
Nicolai: he's funny! I'm drunk.
Richtolfkin: Shut up.
Me: Hi I'm Nathan!
Creepy Chinese guy: You have no honor!
(Dempsey respawns)
Dempsy: is he still here?
Me: hi I'm Nathan!
(All but me explode)
Me: Hi I'm Nathan!
(All but me Respawn)
Me: Hi I'm Nathan!
Nicolai: I love this kid! He's Funny! I'm drunk.
(Zombie moan)
Dempsy: look kid, you're stuck in here with us, so here's a knife, an m1911, and some bullets. You see something move, shoot it.
(I shoot Dempsy in the leg)
Me: Hi I'm Nathan!
Dempsy: OOOOWWWWW! NOT ME! THE ZOMBIES IN THE WINDOW!
(Dempsy points at a window under a balcony.)
Me: Hi I'm Nathan!
All but Nicolai and me: WE GET IT ALREADY! YOU'RE NATHAN!
Nicolai: I love this kid!
(All but me run off to their respective windows)
Me: Hi I'm Nathan?
Dempsy: GGOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Me: okay, okay. You don't have to yell. (Knifes zombie)
Richtolfkin: THE BEAST SPEAKS!
Nicolai: but, but, IT'S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE! I'm still drunk.
Creepy Chinese guy: IM BEING CREEPY!
Dempsy(to dumbstruck to speak): …
4 rounds later, power is on, top route is open; half of bottom route is open.
Dempsy (Sees never broken window with millions of zombies on the inside): Hey, this kids pretty good at zombie survival!
Nicolai: SHUT UP! I have a hangover.
Richtolfkin: We need to get you some vodka.
Creepy Chinese guy: You are most dishonorable without it.
Nicolai: SHUT UP!
(I wordlessly hand Nicolai a bottle of vodka)
Nicolai: I really like this kid!
Richtolfkin: Where did you get this? You are only a child!
Me: One of the zombies had it. And don't call me a child.
Nicolai: Hey! This is half empty:
(All look at me)
Me: What? I was thirsty!
Richtolfkin: You are a CHILD!
Me: Don't call me a child!
Richtolfkin: CHILD
Me: stop it.
Richtolfkin: CHILD!
Me: Stop it!
Richtolfkin: CHILD!
Me: STOP IT!
Richtolfkin: CHILD!
Me: STOP!
Richtolfkin: CHILD!
(I go buy Olympia and start chasing richtolfkin laughing like a maniac and screaming like a banshee)
Me: MWAHWAMAHWAMHWMAWMHAWHAHWAAM WAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEAAAAAA EEEEEEEEEMAHWAMWHMAHWHWHMWHM WHM!
Richtolfkin: omgomgomgogmomgOMGOMOGMOGMOG MOMGOOMGOMGOMGOGO MGOGMOMGIMGAYOMGOMGOGMGOMGOG MGOMGOGMOGMGOMGOGMGOMGOGMOGG OMGGMGMOMG!
(I catch richtolfkin in the juggernaut corner)
Me: NOWYOUDIE!
Richtolfkin: ONONONONONONONONONONONONONON ONONONONOONO-{BLAM}
Me(shooting Rictolfkins dead body): DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIED IEDIEDIEDIEDIE!
(I get downed by the last zombie)
Me: SOMEONE HEAL ME!
All but me and richtolfkin: Uuuuuhhhhhh no.
Me: DO YOU WANT TO END UP LIKE RICHTOLFKIN!
(Richtolfkin respawns)
Rictolfkin(sees me down): HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAA HAHAHHAH!
All: bad idea.
Richtolfkin: why? He doesn't have his Olympia! And his pistol is out of ammo!
Dempsy: dhkshfukiiahegfijugpeifjf0es ojgprskfawijguejgirsgabwahahahahaBAWBHWHABWH ABWHBAHWBAWHBAHWBAHWBHWBAHWB AHBHAWHAHBAHBAHWBHAWHHBAWHAH BAHWBHAWBHW!
Richtolfkin: What?
Nicolai: Turn around.
Richtolfkin(turns around): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !
(Is knifed by me)
Me: okay, now that that's done, Dempsy, shut up. Nicolai, heal me. Rictolfkin, (richtolfkin respawns) find creepy Chinese guy. Whom I now dub ccg.
Ccg: No ammo, no honor. Weak knife, no honor. NO MONEY NO HONER! WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME AND KILL THIS ZOMBIE?!
Me: hello ccg. Would you like a gun?
Ccg: um, yes please!
Me (buys stakeout): here you go.
Ccg: you have much honor. (Turns to zombie) And you have NO-(is bit by zombie)
Me: you had to use a catchphrase.
(I kill zombie and revive ccg)
Ccg: you have much-
Me: yeah yeah, I know. Here's 10,000 dollars, go buy a shotgun, and give me mine.
Creepy girl voice: FETCH ME THEIR SOULS!
Me: oh joy. Dogs.
Richtolfkin: should we turn on the teleporter?
Me: no, we should just stay here. OF COURSE WE SHOULD TURN ON THE FREAKING TELEPORTER!
Dempsy: Wait, wheres Ccg?
Richtolfkin: I think he said something about acid on the balcony.
Dempsy: Oh shit.
(All run to balcony where they find Ccg)
Ccg: I see fucking pretty fucking rainbow fucking unicorns, with fucking neon fucking purple fucking butterflies coming the fuck out of their fucking asses and fucking orange fucking monkeys that are fucking fucking fucking everyones fucking asses! Fuck!
Dempsy: I love the English language! You can use the word "Fucking" almost wherever you want!
Richtolfkin: Do you ever wonder why we always speak English? I understand with you, but im german, Nicolai is Russian, and Takeyo is chineese.
(I slap Richtolfkin)
Richtolfkin: what was that for?!
Me: His name is Ccg!
Richtolfkin: oh yea, sorry.
Ccg: PRETTY FUCKING UNICORNS!
Richtolfkin: what should we do about him?
(zombie walks in, I shoot Ccg with law and kill him and zombie)
[authoror update: Okay, here are the weapons as they are: I have the china lake, law, thundergun, and wunderwaffle. Nicolai has the ray gun and the hk21. Dempsy has the hk21 and rpk. Richtolfkin has the ray gun and thunder gun. Ccg has the dracovitch and m1911.]