Ok, so I know I'm taking too long with my updates for my other stories, but I'm a senior and our teachers keep on making new homework records, so I don't have much time on my hands anyways. Aside from that, my muse is very moody. Lately she only screams Veronica Mars and Harry Potter. Since I'm already done with the first couple of chapters for this story, I figured I'd just start posting it and maybe it'll get me some nice reviews that are the only thing lately, aside from my friends, that can cheer me up in between fights with my parents and school.

Summary: What if Logan had gotten over himself earlier and had tried to fight for Veronicas trust and safety even though she keeps on pushing him away? Can he safe her when she's not even sure if she wants to be saved? The story will go along with the show in the beginning though the timing might be a little bit different. There's actually just one major change: Duncan has officially been with Logan in Tijuana the day Lilly died, though he had come back to Neptune with his friend, but aside from him, Logan and Dick and Beaver no one knows about that. The police believes that Celeste had found Lilly.

So I have no idea how long this story will be though I already know how it will end (which isn't a necessity with me and my stories). I also have about the first ten to fifteen chapters already planned out in my head. Aside from my muse being moody there's another thing you should know: I live of reviews, they are like my sun, my stars my anything ;) And my muse loves them even more.

Veronica Mars is definitely one of my favorite shows (only rivaled by Gilmore Girls) though I only discovered it a week ago and finished it yesterday. It really sucks that they canceled it :(

Anyways, Read and Review ;)

PS: the lyircs at the begin of the chapter kind of are the headline, they usually fit the chapter's content more or less. Oh and since I hate writing disclaimers i say it once: I don't own anything. For further elaboration check my profile.

Chapter One

"Leaning over you here, cold and catatonic

I catch a brief reflection of what you could and might have been

It's your right and your ability

To become…my perfect enemy…"

(Passive – A Perfect Circle)

Logan was sitting at his usual lunch table with the other 09ers, to his left sat Dick, currently going on and on about some redhead that had having been all over him at last night's party. The seat to his right was free empty, something Logan was painfully aware of.

He, Logan Echolls, had always had his best friend sitting to his right, ever since he had started at Neptune High. Nowadays it was usually was Duncan Kane who occupied the seat to his right, his best friend for over 4 years now. The other 09ers were still surrounding Logan; the guys bragging about sports, money and girls; and the girls trying to get Logan's attention. Logan wasn't listening to them nor did he really see them today.

Instead of being the usual arrogant jackass he was so well known as, he was now staring across the quad to another, smaller table that was nearly isolated from the others. Only one person sat at the table, she was a big part of the reason why he hadn't touched his lunch today – thinking about it, he hadn't been able to get his breakfast down this morning either.

Veronica Mars.

Her name seemed to be haunting him today. SHE was haunting him. The thought of the tiny blonde caused very different feelings to rise inside of him. For the better of the last four years, he used to think of her as a little sister, as his best girl friend, as one of the very few people he trusted fully and as someone who just got him. But for the last half year, his feelings had made a full 180. Now he only felt hate rise whenever he saw her; anger, hurt, bitterness, blame… all emotions that came to him whenever it came to Veronica Mars.

Today six months ago, Logan's life had changed drastically. He had gone from being a reckless, semi-happy, normal (or as normal as you can be as an 09er) guy to a bitter and angry version of his old self. Today six months ago, Lilly Kane had been murdered. Lilly Kane as in his best friend's sister; As in his girlfriend; As in Veronica Mars' best friend.

They used to be a group of four; all teenagers from families who might look perfect on the outside but were messed up on the inside. Together they had formed their own family – and soon enough paired up with each other. Logan and Lilly, Duncan and Veronica. Good old times.

"Hey baby!" The sudden call, or rather the screeching voice of his girlfriend of full three weeks, Caitlin Ford, ripped Logan out of his memories.

Logan threw Caitlin a half annoyed, half polite look but didn't answer. He was angry with himself for being out of it all day;. For remembering the "good old times" several times on one day; For wishing so desperately to get back to how things used to be. He knew he was only making it worse, but it seemed like he was a masochist today.

"Why didn't you pick me up this morning?" Caitlin asked and sat down next to him on his right side on the free spot. Logan flinched and had to restrain himself from lashing out on her. So what if it had been the only empty seat left? She didn't belong there. Duncan belonged there, even though he was only the shell of the guy Logan used to know, he still was his best friend, the only person left in his life he could truly trust.

"Forgot about it, sorry." Logan said without looking at his girlfriend, not sounding sorry at all. The truth was that she was boring the hell out of him, like most girls eventually did. Sure, they looked good, the sex was awesome, especially with Caitlin, but it was nothing compared to what he knew a relationship could be like. They was nothing compared to Lilly.

A couple of minutes later, his eyes darted back over to the blonde who was still sitting all alone at her table. It seemed like she wasn't very hungry today either, since she was just playing around with her food, her face closed off. Logan thought he had seen tears glittering in her eyes earlier. A part of Logan was pleased with this sight; he wanted her to be sad today, he wanted to know that he wasn't the only one hurting -At least not the only one from those who counted.

Not that he would ever admit that Veronica Mars of all people counted for anything, but but she had been Lilly's best friend, she had been a part of their little family – hell, she had been HIS best friend, the only person he had never felt uncomfortable around even after she knew about his dad. A year ago, Logan would never have thought in his wildest dreams, that there would come a time when Veronica wouldn't sit with him at the 09er table, when she wouldn't greet him with a smile every morning when he picked her up right after Lilly and Duncan. Things had changed drastically since those times.

Logan knew very well that he was the reason why his former friend sat now far away from him and her old clique; why she had been sitting alone for the better of the last half year. After all, he had been the one who had started the anti-Veronica campaign and who had made sure that no one at the whole school would risk the social suicide it was to befriend her. Well, no one except that new kid Wallace-something. He was usually around Veronica all the time ever since the beginning of the school year. At first Logan had tried to tell the new kid that hanging around Veronica Mars was a bad idea, but Wallace had insisted on making that mistake over and over again. So Logan had had no choice other then than to ruin his reputation as well. Not that there had been much to do, hanging around with Veronica Mars was enough.

But today he couldn't spot the guy anywhere and it looked like Veronica was back to being all alone again. She deserved it though;, she deserved everything that he had done to her -Because she had managed to hurt him worse than anyone else. Even worse than Lilly's death had hurt him. When Veronica Mars had chosen her father's side over his Logan had been nearly heartbroken. With Lilly, it had always been an on and off again relationship, he was used to not being able to count on her. Sure, he had loved her, but he had always known that he was the one invested in the relationship. But with Veronica… it had been different. He had trusted her fully, with everything, his thoughts, his feelings, his fears… with everything and she had never let him down. Until six months ago when she had betrayed everything their friendship had stood for and had left their little family in order to stand by her stupid father.

Even though he had banned her from his life after her betrayal and had taken revenge on every day ever since, she still managed to get to him. At first she had gotten tears in her eyes every time when he had said something mean to her or had told her to stay the hell away from him and her old friends. It had hurt him to see her cry, but he had felt a certain satisfaction. But then she had suddenly changed overnight. She now wasn't the person he used to love anymore; she now was Veronica Mars version 2.0. Not his Ronnie anymore but Veronica-McBitch-Mars.

She fought fire with fire and had proven herself to be a worthy enemy. It had made things easier in a way, hurting her with everything he knew about her was so much easier when she didn't act like the girl he had known anymore. She wasn't the sweet, naïve and innocent anymore; she was now strong, feisty and smart. But on some days, he couldn't help but stare at her and wonder how she had fooled him and everyone else so entirely. On some days, he couldn't help but admit to himself that he wanted his Ronnie back. On those days he had to remind himself to call her Veronica. It made him angrier with her, that she made him miss her more than she missed him.

Logan frowned slightly when he saw someone approach Veronica's table out of the corner of his eye. Eli "Weevil" Navarro; Another student who didn't give a damn about Logan's ban. The leader of the biker gang had always been Logan's enemy, but since he was being friendly with Veronica, Logan loathed him even more. He didn't know what Veronica saw in Weevil and why she was acting all friendly with the loser. Why she was LAUGHING with him about something as if nothing was wrong -as if today wasn't the six month anniversary of Lilly's death. Another problem Logan had with the biker was, that he he still had the bruises from the day he had tried to confront Veronica two days ago after she had placed a fucking bong in his locker and had caused him to not only get suspended and "punished" by his father but also loose his beloved X-Terra. Weevil had come to her rescue and had punched Logan quite a few times, just because he had damaged her stupid headlights.

It just wasn't fair that Veronica got to make new friends while he was still missing her. That she learned to be strong and all closed off, giving her the ability to move on from the past and forget about everything. That she had to turned out to be one hell of an enemy.

"Yo, Logan! You coming?" Dick Casablancas called. Logan realized that the other 09ers had already finished and were starting to get to their classes. The bell must have rung already. He had been too engrossed in Veronica Mars. Logan wished he could kick himself in the ass for being such an idiot.

"Sure, I'm coming." He stood up, threw his untouched lunch in the trash, then walked up to Dick and followed him back inside the school. He looked back once more and saw that Veronica was now alone again, staring off into space. She looked so much like his Ronnie that it nearly hurt.

Looking at her now, still feeling himself drawn towards her in some crazy way, deep down he had to admit that the only person he who ever really belonged on his right side at lunch had been Ronnie, Duncan had only taken her place after his Ronnie had died along with Lilly.

A little side note, for some time this chapter was posted in an all messed up version, and I'm sorry for that but I only noticed it much much later.