Lit

by KT the Shimmer Skank

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Rated PG-13 (T) for suggestive themes and a little language. I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Notes: I'm obsessed with this game/fandom but I rarely write for it myself. I've toyed with the idea of a chaptered Kairi/Axel fic for quite some time, so this one-shot is me testing the waters in that realm, trying out some of my concepts. I sincerely appreciate any and all reviews, as this is something I'd like to turn into a bigger project some day.

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The thick brown leather of her trousers did little to shield her skinny legs from the chill of the rainy breeze. Her legs had lately sprung out from under her. They were now so long and bony she hardly understood how they could hold up her hips, which seemed to stretch outward every day. And her arms, from training regularly at the Coliseum with Phil, were now strangely taut and muscular. She never knew what to do with her body anymore. She felt lost in her own skin. Flowery dresses, white tennis shoes, pink lace… those things didn't fit her any more.

But whoever said it was easy being sixteen?

She took refuge under the awning of the Mad Hatter's shop. Across the plaza, she could see the orange glow of the Hotel windows. Inside, Sora and Riku and others from many Worlds were meeting with the King, discussing the whispers of the next Coming. Danger was on the way. Danger was always on the way. Darkness would never die.

The days of her sun-soaked childhood, carefree on her quiet island and oblivious to the existence of anything else, seemed almost unreachable these days. She was hardened, now. She had seen too much. She was entering womanhood in a universe perpetually plagued by war.

Sighing, she pulled out a cigarette. She patted the pockets of her pants and jacket desperately, and grumbled in frustration.

"Tsk, tsk, smoker. What would the Princess Handbook say?" hissed a voice, appearing near her out of nowhere.

Her heart stopped. Axel walked towards her from the rain, smiling over his folded arms. She didn't like being caught off guard. Especially not by him.

"Has anyone ever told you you're extremely creepy?" she muttered. A cloud of misty breath billowed out of his mouth as he breathed heavily, grinning, watching her.

"Only you, Princess. And quite a few times, at that."

"Well I guess I might be biased, seeing as, well, you've kidnapped me before."

He stepped closer to her. His thick mane of crimson hair towered over her. His arms were so big. "Man, you are never going to let that one go, are you? My intentions were good in the end… or something. Even Sora forgives me." He ran his hand through his wet hair, shaking a burst of raindrops to the concrete. He knew she could feel his body heat next to her, knew it was taking all of her inner strength to act nonchalant. "Besides, you've got to be a kid to get kidnapped. So quit being a baby."

Kairi rolled her eyes. "Why aren't you at the meeting?"

"Why aren't you?"

She turned at last to face him, and met his eyes. His gaze set her insides on fire. She had never been able to feel safe alone with him, not even when they had been allies on the side of Light for a year. She wasn't afraid that he would hurt her, though. She was afraid of something else, something she didn't even understand.

"I needed to get some fresh air," she responded, desperate to break eye contact. But she couldn't.

Axel chuckled at the cigarette in between her pale fingers. "Well obviously."

"Oh, shut up." She sighed. "I don't suppose I'd be out of line asking if you had a light? I mean, if you're going to bug me, you might as well make yourself useful."

His gaze softened. He couldn't help but laugh, genuinely. She had spark. "But of course, Princess."

He cupped his calloused hand close to her small pink lips, creating a tiny ball of flames in his palm. He held the dancing flame gently to the end of her cigarette, and watched her glowing eyes as she inhaled deeply.

Even as she took the first comforting puff and exhaled a cloud of yellow smoke in his direction, Kairi was unnerved to realize he was still standing so close to her. Watching her. He had always been watching her. Her heart started pounding. She took another desperate, shaky drag of the cigarette.

"You followed me out here, didn't you?"

Axel laughed. She could feel his voice on her neck. "Well aren't we full of ourselves, missy," he answered carelessly. "Why would I follow you? You really think I'm that interested?"

"Oh stop playing it cool!" she spat. The rain fell harder and the air grew colder as they stood alone together, dangerously close. "I see you watching me. I know what you're trying to do. It's obvious you… you…" The words stopped short at her lips, clogged like a mouthful of sticky papou fruit.

"I want you," he finished for her, pressing his hands down hard on her thin shoulders and pushing her up against the cold glass of the shop window. His smile danced teasingly above Kairi's face. "You're right. And I'm glad we're both sick of ignoring it."

His body was deceptively warm, his grip misleadingly enticing for someone who wasn't supposed to exist. She could feel her heartbeat accelerate wildly as his fingernails grazed the bare flesh beneath her leather jacket. The rain was pounding, her heart was pounding, her stomach filling with the sick sensation of fear. But not of being hurt. Battles upon battles, fighting side by side with her two best friends in epics she had once only heard about, never in those moments was Kairi afraid of getting hurt. There was no fear in the universe like the fear she felt trickle through every inch of her aching skin, standing next to Axel.

She was afraid of the hurting she might do.

Axel lowered his head to hers, breathing hot and hard on her face. "Come on, Princess, you've been driving me crazy for long enough."

His lips were on her neck. The nook between her earlobe and her jaw. Her mouth. He cupped her head in his thick hands and pressed his body against hers. She couldn't tell what was rain and what was sweat on her face as she kissed him. The thrill and shock of the moment electrified her body and nearly made her go limp.

Something inside of her snapped and she wrenched herself free of him. She paused for a moment, catching her breath, listening to the drizzle that roared on outside the small sanctuary beneath the awning.

"I have a boyfriend," she said, looking away, feeling angry and confused. She ran her fingers through her damp hair and took a weighty drag of the cigarette still burning in her hand.

Axel shrugged, gently touching her chin with his rough fingers. "So do I," he replied simply, in a much lighter tone.

Kairi rolled her eyes coldly and shook her head. She kept smoking. "I love my boyfriend. I could never do this to him."

"You think I don't love mine?" Axel's eyes darkened and his carefree guise weakened slowly. "There's no reason to even pull that card, really. You and I are practically dating the same person. But this…" He placed his hand on her chest, feeling her heart beat, and slowly guided his fingers along the curves of her torso. He closed his eyes. "I can't get this out of my head. Every time I look at you I think I'm going to explode."

She felt the same way, even though she had always tried to pretend like it wasn't there. Even those years ago, when he first appeared out of the Darkness onto her beach, she couldn't honestly say that there hadn't been a kind of dangerous attraction. A moth to the flame kind of feeling.

"I can't," she said flatly. She started to walk away.

"Wait, just wait. Listen, Kairi." She stopped. There was something striking about hearing him call her by her name. It didn't often happen. "I know you want to find out what it feels like, just like I've wanted it since the first time I saw you. I'm not saying it's easy… hell, you're basically the biggest pain in my ass, ever. But I want you."

"Does it always have to be about what we want? Is it so easy to give in to some… thing, some nameless attraction? What about Sora? Roxas?"

Axel shrugged. "Does he know you smoke?"

Kairi took a slow breath, staring down at the wet asphalt. "Of course not."

Carefully, he stepped towards her once more and placed his hands on her. "Then what's the difference? You do something because it makes you feel good, and you don't let him know about it so he won't get hurt. Love isn't like what they tell you in bedtime stories, Princess. I don't…" He threw up his hands in defeat, sensing that his desperate babbling wasn't getting him anywhere. "I don't know that I buy into this love shit. I just know what I want."

Kairi examined Axel carefully as she savored the last, slow drags of her cigarette. He was a blur of black and gray against the dark and rainy street. Only his eyes, frigid green, and his long tangled hair, ember red, brought color and illumination to the emptiness in his face. She tossed her cigarette to the ground and shook her head.

"That's why I can't," she said again. "I know what I want, too, Axel. And where does that leave me, when I fall in love with you, and you're… not buying it?"

Before the moment got any heavier, she turned around and jogged quickly through the rain, back around the sidewalk and into the warmth of the hotel. She didn't look back. She tiptoed carefully past the conference room Merlin had strategically placed behind a secret door, and into the room where she was staying. She slammed the door behind her and slid to the floor, carelessly, like a child in a tantrum, and sobbed.

But whoever said it was easy being sixteen?