SHARING SPACE
Severus Snape has had it with Longbottom and wants him out of his Potions Class. But what do you expect? When your prayers have been answered, there's always a catch. SSRL
Disclaimer: JKRS. Boo Hoo.
CHAPTER 1: Fair Exchange?
"Look on the bright side Severus… a couple more years to go and Mr Longbottom will be out of your hair," the cheerful old wizard replied, blue eyes twinkling.
"Correction!" Snape snapped as he slammed his fists on the table and continued to seethe. "Three more years, not a couple but three!" he said, gesturing the number with his fingers for further emphasis.
"I'm not illiterate Severus," the man said calmly, still grinning.
"No you're a patronizing old coot and I hate you," he said crossing his arms and narrowing his eyes down to look at the headmaster. "Last week I've had to repair a total of six cauldrons, all of which he obviously used, the following day an entire room of fourth years nearly died because of him, not that I would have complained, but I was in there too! And today he spilt his atomic bomb of a potion, and obliterated my desk to pieces!"
"Yes, yes, and let us not forget, two days ago he turned your hair green."
That was exactly the reason Snape didn't mention that. He couldn't begin to imagine that horrific event going down in Hogwarts a History as one of the most significant moments that ever happened behind the castle walls but by the looks of it, it would eventually. Snape looked livid, and his fists were fighting the urge to punch Albus Dumbledore's annoyingly jolly face.
"The point is… I. Want. Him." Dead, was his initial thought. "Gone. Out. I will not have him in my class!"
Dumbledore sighed, the irritating grin never leaving his face; adjusted his half moon spectacles on his crooked nose and said, "Severus, my dear boy… don't you think you're being… a bit-"
"A bit what?" Snape barked.
A new voice spoke from behind the pair, "a bit of a dick." Albus popped reached over his lolly jar, took a sherbet and popped it in his mouth; Snape turned his head towards the door way where a tall man with light brown hair and a matching moustache stood smirking at his ex colleague's ghostly pale face.
"Come in, come in Remus," Dumbledore said clicking his fingers to summon a chair for him.
"Oh well look who it is… weren't you fired?" Snape sneered, looking Remus, who kindly smiled in return, up and down from his tattered suit and robes to his equally tattered briefcase.
"Resigned actually. You've got a chip on you're shoulder," Remus said and before Snape could say something like 'fuck you' for the childish idiom, he realised there was an actual chip of wood on his shoulder. He brushed it off quickly.
"Mr Longbottom managed to outdo himself again in potions class this afternoon," Dumbledore answered as Remus sat down.
"Figures… I thought I saw him in the infirmary," he mused.
"So… what's he doing here?" Snape who was not going to sit back down now that Remus' chair was next to his, asked Albus.
"Believe it or not Severus, Mr Longbottom, like yourself, has already approached me recently after a particular incident two days ago," Remus couldn't contain himself and his smirk turned to a chuckle then a series of coughs.
Snape sneered and said, "You told him didn't you?"
"No I did not," Dumbledore answered calmly.
"Let's just say I have my sources," Remus piped up, then burst out laughing. "I also heard it suited you."
Potter. Snape thought. "Yes have a laugh, while you can, will you." Then he turned to Albus again. "So the bloody idiot sued me did he?"
"No, no no. See, Mr Longbottom… he is a very clever boy, though I seem to think, and so does he, that he is unable to carry out his expertise and perform to the best of his abilities in potions particulary… due to… well simply because.... let's just say… of fear… restricting him. So I've arranged… special provisions for Mr Longbottom."
"Of fear…" Snape scoffed. "I'm quite aware Mr Longbottom's boggart took the form of myself last year."
"That look suited you as well," Remus laughed remembering the boggart identical to the surly black haired man clad in a green dress, a vulture hat and clutching a carpet bag.
"What was that? Have you looked at yourself lately? Homeless beggar…" Snape retorted which triggered an argument for a while and Dumbledore leaned back and watched in amusement like it was a theatrical musical unfolding before him.
"… Werewolf!"
"Is that all? 'Casue I've got a bloody long list right here for you-"
"… thought I got rid of you but you keep coming back!"
"- in alphabetical order!"
They pointed and jabbed and Dumbledore grinned and chewed until both men had reached into their robes.
"Enough!" Dumbledore bellowed, standing up. "There will be none of that nonsense in here. Nor is there to be anywhere else of a kilometre radius from here. And during your stay Remus, both of you young men, will act your age when in presence with the other. Understood?"
"What?" Snape said and his lips trembled. "He's staying?"
"Correct. Professor Lupin has agreed to be Mr Longbottom's potions tutor, at least for the rest of the year."
"Are you kidding me?! He's not even qualified!" Snape shouted.
"Indeed. In fact I'm over qualified Severus. Maybe not as much as you but I am," Remus said smugly. "Albus, if I have your permission to go into my rooms now."
"And where pray tell will he be staying?"
"Next to your rooms Severus!" Dumbledore, ever the cheerful again, smiled widely.
"Don't think I'm happy about it either," Remus said, standing up, briefcase in one arm and moving towards the door.
"WHAT?! What?!" he turned to Albus exasperatedly. "No, no, no, no, no. Can't he… can't he bunk in with Minerva or Filch in the broom closet or something? Why next to my rooms?"
"It's all for convenience my boy."
"You call this…" he gestured between himself and the door to where Remus had exited. "Convenient?"
"Correct. It'll be closer to the labs in which you'll have to share from now on. Mr Longbottom's classes will run just before dinner when they're free."
"This is all his fault…" Snape muttered, pacing around Dumbledore's office as portraits pretended to be sleeping in their confined frames. "Longbottom… the stupid… blundering… idiot…"
"My dear boy, I must confess you are difficult sometimes. Mr Longbottom will be reduced to the least of your worries, he won't be the cause of destruction in your classes anymore. Is not that what you want?"
"Yes and no." It's what every potion master wants. But you just had to choose the werewolf. Why the werewolf? Snape thought wanting to rip his hair out but tightened his jaw and ground his teeth instead.
"Ah, time Severus time…" he said tapping at his wrist. "I have things to do, people to see. Be off dear child!"
Snape nodded towards the bearded man, pausing when he reached the door.
"Send my regards to those people, I do feel very sorry for them to have to put up with you."
"Yes, yes. Will do," Dumbledore chuckled. "I'll see you at dinner."
Thanks for reading.