Frozen
It came out from nowhere and yet as it hit me I was not surprised. Slowly sliding my feet across the bed allowing the sheets to pityingly caress my skin, I hefted my body up.
Heaviness tugged at my body like when rising from water and my feet frost bitten deep to the bone. Uneasiness warred within me almost tugging me back down under the
duvet, surrounded within the protective cocoon, resembling an illusion of protection. Slowly walking across the room I grabbed my silk robe and draped it over my body, that
one last defense between me and the world. Dizziness wrapped its hands around my stomach as my hand grasped the door handle and ever so slowly opened the door.
What ever was going to happen was inevitable and delaying it would do nothing but prolong it. Straightening my spine with a crack and my head up I walked down the stairs.
I passed the living room which was empty except for posh decor. Continuing my walk I entered the kitchen. It was brightly lit with the morning sun. It seemed to reach its
fingers out touching every crevice, allowing nothing to hide. All of the chairs were occupied by bodies that were stone still. Sparkling as sun shone across their skin, inhuman
and all avoiding eye contact.
I quickly grabbed a cup of a unique kind of coffee and sat down wrapping my hands around the mug to keep from shaking. Looking up from the steam of the coffee I simply
stared at Emmett, who could never hide anything. After about 2 minutes he began to squirm, another 2 and I would have him. While waiting I simply stared at his face
taking him in. Emmett's face was almost always filled with a smile but it seems that his teeth have taken his lip prisoner and he was developing spider webs of cracks from
where his teeth where biting too hard. Centering myself for the task and the answer ahead I put my coffee down on the table and unwrapped my hands from the mug.
"Jasper." Turning towards Jasper, who was leaning against the wall I smiled.
"Turn it down would you?" The feeling of calm slowly began to ebb away and my hands began to then again shake.
Looking around I took stock of everyone. Rosalie as always looked uninterested and annoyed all at the same time, while Alice looked frozen. Alice being frozen was never
good. Carlisle eyes were wary and when my eyes met his he looked away. Esme stood with her back to me washing dishes that I'm sure were already clean since no one I
was looking at eats.
"Emmett." A startled gasp was pulled from his mouth as his face whipped to face me, which in itself would made me chuckle. The situation I'll agree does not call for laughing
but it was laugh or hyper ventilate. Wide eyed and rough breathing Emmett turned towards me. Crossing my arms around my arms trying to give myself I sat as straight as I
could.
"Tell me." He broke.
"There are certain laws that are a part of the vampire world that the Volturi handle but there are also laws that are a part of a coven only." The look on my face must have
said it all because he continued.
"Edward is your boyfriend but he is not your mate." That had been explained in the beginning. Where is Edward? Looking around I didn't see him. That was not like him at all,
he was always around.
"The thing is that even if you are dating you are supposed to wear the mark of your beau, such as their scent." That had not been explained.
"Well the thing is if you don't wear that person's scent then you are fair game to any other person. If you don't wear that person's mark and some other..let's just say
vampire wants to date you then they can. In our coven because it's so big we mark what we deem to be ours so that it does not cause issues within the coven or with
outsiders." Why was he telling me this?
"Well the thing is.." He began to shuffle himself side to side causing the wooden chair to begin to squeak in protest of his weight. Worried I had passed a while ago as well as
nervous, nauseous, curious and a multitude of others. I'm sure Jasper is dizzy with all of them. Looking at Jasper his face is already turned towards me and his eyes meet
mine. He gives a smile and a shake of his head.
"Well the thing is.. well the thing is you are already claimed." What? When was I claimed? Shouldn't I remember a claiming? Wouldn't I remember something like that?
Breath abruptly forced its self out of my mouth in loud pants and then it hit me.
"Edward has already claimed me right? You all are just nervous because he did it without me knowing right? Well that's ok. Just call him up and tell him that it's all ok and
that I don't mind. Jeesh you guys acted like I was going to blow up or something." Looking around I saw Alice's face fall and a sad look take over. If she were able to cry she
would have rivers flowing down her cheeks.
"Bella…"
"I mean that's good right?"
"Bella that's the thi.."
"Call Edward we can talk about this. I mean it's not a bad thing right?" Looking around at everyone's faces they all resembled one another but the one that stood out was
Rosalie's. Her face was full of pity and sadness. She never once looked at me like that. Never. Looking back to Emmett whose mouth was frozen open as if he his words were
frozen inside. Frozen, seemed to be everyone in this room. Time seemed to freeze as well as my body, frozen. Everything stayed still and frozen. Frozen.
"Call Edward to come back home and we can talk about it together. It's ok I'm not mad it's a good thing. It's…"
" Alice."
"What?" Turning around in my chair to look at Alice who was sitting on the ledge I stared.
"I marked Alice." Her eyes met mine and if she were able to cry she would be sobbing. Her lips were open in a frozen and soundless wail and her jaw wobbled. Her eyes
stared into mine almost as if sending me some secret message. Looking down at my hands I wondered if I repeated what one more time what would be said, if I did it
again and again? Would the answer change? If I asked for an explanation and still insisted that I didn't understand would they repeat it until I would and if I never did? Would
he stay with me until forever was never? Would the same answer hurt no matter how many different ways it was explained? Would I be able to ignore it if I covered my
ears shut my eyes and pretend it never happened? Would that work? Would that hurt? Would it become numb?
All those future plans that I jinxed myself with, that I teased myself with. Pretending that this would be my family, this would be my home and it would last forever. Knock on
wood and wash away jinxed fate I did not. Fisting my hand I tapped three times against the table and it only echoed. Too late.
Edward. Looking up I felt my relief wash through my body as I saw Edward in the door way. A smile lit up my face and I sprung up from my seat. Running towards him I
threw my arms around him immersing myself with his scent. Hiding from what was and hoping to pretend about what wasn't. His familiar arms wrapped around me
enveloping me in a hug. Protected I was in his arms. Familiar I was in his arms. Tugging against my chin caused me to look up.
His eyes were sad and full of regret. They darted across my face refusing to look me in the eyes. His golden eyes held no happiness or their original shine. That was what it
was. I could never figure it out, what was missing. When he stared into my eyes when I greeted him, so full of love they used to be. Over time they became dull and tired.
Every hug seemed to lack enthusiasm and became routine and the "I love you's" monotonous. It was his eyes and his voice, they weren't mine. They no longer held love for
me.
"Edward?" His eyes met mine and the only thing I could do was shake my head, but his eyes insisted. They insisted that it was true. My world slowly began to crack and I my
feet carried me backward on step at a time. No, I refused to believe it. It couldn't be true. He was mine and I was his. Looking up again and into his eyes I could feel my
head tilt to side and my face contort into confused hurt.
"Edward?" Nothing changed.
"Edward." He no longer looked at me. And like that I knew. It was true. My love no longer mattered because it was only one sided. No longer was it great for it was only
given by one person. Looking back at Alice her lips mouthed
"I'm sorry" But thing is I'm sorry wasn't good enough. It wasn't enough. It would never be enough. It wouldn't bring his love for me back. It wouldn't erase what was
happening. It wouldn't even make me feel any better. I looked at Jasper only to see him staring at me. He seemed to be ok and well put together. He seemed to be great he
had a spark in his eyes and he held no sorrow. There was no need to say sorry for your loss.
Turning back around I walked slowly back to my seat, lifted it my mug filled with cold coffee and walked toward the sink. Grabbing a towel I set down my mug and took
Esme's hands. Using the towel I gently wiped away the soap and water. I then dropped the towel on the counter top and began to wash dishes. Humming a random tune I
scrubbed and scrubbed and when I was done I wiped my hands off on the dish towel. Reaching over I grabbed a mug and filled it with hot coffee that was more red than
brown.
Turning around they all were frozen in their same spots, frozen, unmoving, and immortal. Walking casually back to my chair I sat down, shifting side to side, causing the
wooden chair to squeak in protest of my weight. Wrapping my fingers around the mug trying to get my hands to take in the heat I looked at the steam rising. The sun
reached its fingers out touching every crevice, allowing nothing to hide. Sparkling as the sun shone across my skin, frozen and avoiding eye contact. If I were able to cry I
would because frozen am I in the promised future of forever that would forever not be.
Author Note:
I have been trying to actually finish a story and I finally created a short story. Well I hope you take the time to review and tell me how I did. Anyway thanks for taking the
time to read the story and supporting me.
Please, Please, Please review and thank you!