The day at the office has been long, I'm tired and my back is sore. I had forgotten all these little downsides of pregnancy and I suppose my age doesn't help either. Andy is already there when I arrive at the apartment and I find myself pulled into his arms the moment I step through the door. I lift my face for our customary kiss and relax into his embrace with a sigh, letting all my weight rest on him. It seems he knows just how to hold me and for a moment we simply stand there in a silent embrace. Then he takes my purse and steadies me as I take off my heels silently vowing to change to flats even though with Ricky and Emily I had been wearing heels until I was much further along.

Andy doesn't say much, walks us over to the sofa with his arms around me and eases me down. His hands are on my back now, rubbing all the right spots and making me moan in a curious mixture of relief and pleasure. I'm a bit surprised by how loud and needy I sound, but that thought is gone the moment he starts nibbling my earlobe and I hear him chuckle in amusement. "Sweetheart, if I'd known all you wanted was a backrub, we could have saved ourselves the current predicament." I know he is joking, and he makes me smile. Our current predicament, as he so calls it, is very visible now in a bump I can no longer disguise with loose tops and scarves. Obviously there are looks now and whispered words and I do at times feel a little self-conscious.

We joked about it a lot when we first found out and were stunned beyond belief: a pregnancy at my age, parenthood at our age. The decision to keep our little one was the easiest, that was a given from the start: Neither of us would ever have considered an abortion and old though we may be, we both love children and are looking forward to becoming parents once again.

That a pregnancy this late in life could also pose a serious health risk to me was a lot harder for Andy to accept and come to terms with than for me. We had quickly opted against all the tests and screening that would have only given us the option to terminate the pregnancy, but putting my life on the line was far more difficult, especially for Andy. He made me promise that should it come to a situation where my life hung in the balance, I would opt for my own life rather than our baby. We've done all the paperwork, so ultimately it would be his decision to make and I am okay with that. Really, I am not expecting anything to go wrong. I tire easily these days, but I guess that's to be expected. The doctor is happy with my health and the progress of our little one, everything is going well so far. I have always been healthy and I do know how to take care of myself – and having Andy by my side does make it all so much easier. Just last night he said something that had me speechless with gratitude and love.

/

He had done it again, anticipated my wish before I had fully formed it in my mind. „Thank you, Andy, you are too good to me," I whispered into his chest and stifled a yawn. I was content to just be here, surrounded by his wonderful scent, his hand resting warm and heavy on my abdomen.

„You're welcome, sweetheart. But you shouldn't say that."

„You want me to not thank you?" I asked, feeling tired and a bit disoriented, not sure if I was following him correctly.

„No, you can thank me and I love that you do. But don't you ever think that I am too good for you." The intensity in his voice woke me up.

„But you are spoiling me, Andy, you really are," I emphasised, "I feel like you're reading my mind, you seem to know what I need even before I'm conscious of it." I felt his hand against the side of face, and then he gently cupped my jaw to align my eyes with his, waiting until I was looking right at him.

"You forget that I am a detective, I watch and read people for a living. I am not spoiling you, sweetheart. I am being here for you. I love you, and you love me back and that's already pretty special. But what you are doing for me is the most amazing thing a woman can do for a man. And there is no way I could ever repay you for that. Anything I do for you, I do because I love you, and you never need to feel it's too much. Sharon, you are carrying our baby and right now, there's so little I can do for our little one except look after you. I wish I could take the nausea, and the discomfort, and the achy back from you, but there is nothing I can do about that."

Isn't he just so special? And I did notice that he left out the one thing I've struggled with most in this pregnancy so far: Swollen legs and feet. Gone are the days men would turn around to stare at my legs…Well, Andy still does look at them and he even went to my physical therapist with me to learn a massage technique to drain the excess fluids. That just floored me. Since then, every night without fail, he's been there, taking care of me and of my achy back and swollen feet with such tenderness it makes my heart contract almost painfully.

"So, until our little one gets here, you get a free pass. Anything I can do for you, I'll do it. It will never be too much. It will never be spoiling you. You deserve every bit of care and attention, every hug and every kiss." He looked at me with a serious expression and wouldn't let go until I had assured him, twice no less, that I understood. He is adorable how he picked up on that particular quirk of mine. My older children used to make fun of me for always having them repeat certain points twice, and so did Rusty later on. Andy turns my own technique back at me and he is a complete natural.

/

Andy is also good at keeping me connected to reality. "Do you want to have dinner now or take a nap first," he asks now and lets me rest back against his chest. Most of these days, I do indeed fall asleep on the sofa while he is making dinner and if not before dinner, I then fall asleep in his arms while we are catching up on the news or watching a movie. It's an easy domesticity we have settled into. He hasn't officially moved in, but we have discussed living arrangements and have decided to postpone the final decision until after our child is born. Because, sadly, there is the possibility that I won't have a baby to hold in my arms at the end of this pregnancy. It's something we do talk about from time to time, but the idea frightens us both and we try not to dwell on it.

"Let me get changed and then I can help you cook," I volunteer and enjoy how his hands come up and rest around my belly, "and we can have an early night together." He holds me for another moment, his hands moving to where our little one is softly kicking, wanting to tell us, I think, that everything will be fine and we will soon be parents once again.