Susan's Journey Begins
Chapter One
To lose yourself can be a frightening path to embark upon but to lose those you love in the process is a far more horrific ordeal. This was the beginning of the end for Susan, left in a world far colder than the brutal winter seen to have engulfed Narnia, during the witches reign. Susan recollected her last conversations with her brothers & sister,
''What wonderful memories you have! Fancy you still thinking about all those funny games we used to play when we were children.''
Susan, jumped, as the signaller tapped her lightly on the shoulder,
''Miss, you were getting awfully close to the edge of the platform for a second there. Do you have a death wish?'' said the short, middle aged man.
Susan realised how quite right he was. She had got extremely close to the edge of the platform, whilst starring off out into the distance. She briskly turned around, and to the signallers dismay, he noticed how red & puffy her eyes were.
''Oh, miss. . . . Please excuse me; my mouth has a tendency to work faster than my mind does, these days. Are you quite alright?''
Susan took one last look back in the direction she had been starring, tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear & proceeded to take a crumpled handkerchief from her left pocket.
''Do you think it hurt? I mean, do you think it was very painful?'' she said, in a soft voice.
The signaller looked slightly taken aback for a second, until he recognised the young woman's face that stood before him.
''You're Miss Susan Pevensie; I saw your picture in the paper a few weeks back. I am deeply sorry for your losses. It must be a particularly hard time for you right now, with the wreck not long having been completely cleared,'' he gestured with a slight nod towards the track.
Susan felt herself come over all queer, as though she were going to faint. The signaller caught her by the arm & helped her to a nearby bench.
''Here, sit down. My name is Alfred, Alfred McKevoy.''
Susan gazed at the crumpled piece of material in her hands; she could feel the tears welling up & the sharp stinging sensation in her eyes, as she tried to force back a chocking sob.
''I can't believe they're all gone. Just another one of their silly adventures, chasing fairy tales, if only they'd stopped being so foolish & playing those silly games when we had been children. They might all still be alive now,'' she began sobbing.
Alfred looked at Susan very confused for a moment, not having any idea what she was rambling on about.
''Miss, there was nothing that could have been done. The train came into the station too fast. The driver tried to break, but it was too late, something went wrong with the breakage system, there was a fault & the trained derailed. There was nothing anyone could have done to prevent it. Poor souls, sometimes tragic things happen. They are in a better place now, god bless 'em,'' said Alfred quite awkwardly.
We've all been in that position, trying to offer comfort & the right words to a friend, loved one or even a stranger, in a time of need just like this. Quite a frightful experience to say the least, how can one comfort someone that has just lost their entire family? Susan, clearly distraught, raised slowly back up onto her feet; she was a little wobbly at first but then regained her balance.
''I wish I had never come,'' she said, clearly quite annoyed with herself.
Alfred shook his head,
''Miss, don't be so hard on yourself, it's only natural. This wouldn't be easy for anyone to deal with; it was a horrific freak accident. And to have lost your entire family,'' he offered her an empathetic smile, ''needless to say, things can't be easy for you, dealing with it all in one go. We all have to say goodbye in our own way''
Susan overwhelmed with emotion, spat back at the signalman, as the tears fell down her face,
''That's what funerals are for, to say goodbye. Why I came here, I don't know. Perhaps, to make myself believe it's all been a bad dream & I'll get a letter from Peter in the morning, asking if I'm still playing Miss Prim & Proper, with all the proper folk in London.''
The tears poured uncontrollably down Susan's already tear stained face. The poor fellow rested a comforting hand on her shoulder.
''There, there, miss. . . .Shall I have someone come & collect you? You shouldn't be wondering around in this state on your own''
Susan turned slowly to face the chap & explained her train was due in less than ten minutes & that someone would be meeting her upon her arrival back into London. She proceeded to thank him for his kindness & slowly began to walk down the platform. As Susan reached the bottom of the steps, she heard footsteps coming up behind her.
''Miss, you've dropped your handkerchief,'' said Alfred as he reached her.
Like a bolt of lightning, Susan came over nauseous & found her mind racing toward a distant memory,
''It's my handkerchief, the one I gave to poor Mr Tumnus, when he was crying.''
She turned to meet, the man, who looked completely puzzled at the fact she looked as though she'd just seen a ghost,
''You look awfully pale ma'am, are you sure there isn't someone I might contact, to come & fetch you?''
Susan took the handkerchief, again thanking the gentleman for his kind words & proceeded to walk up the stairs & over the bridge, to the corresponding platform.
The train journey home was a dismal affair; & it had began to rain, Susan spent half the journey starring out at the beautiful countryside; however it didn't seem so beautiful anymore. She was practically alone in the world. As much as she had grown tiresome of her brother's & sister constant digressing about Narnia, she missed them profoundly. She noticed the scenery begin to change as the train started approaching London. The rain had begun to slow & looked as though it would soon stop. Of course being April, England is known for its showers. A few more stops & she would be at St Pancras & not too far away from home but what was home now? Where was home?
Susan had spent the past three weeks, making funeral arrangements & catering to other family members, who were as heartbroken at the unexpected news, as she was. The train pulled into the station & Susan, walked through the crowds of people, to the stations entrance, to find Charles waiting for her. Charles was a close associate of Susan's, a university chum, you could say he would have liked to have been a little more but Susan's mind had been elsewhere for weeks. He was a rather charming fellow, with a boyish smile & big blue eyes; he was rather handsome too to say the least.
''Su. . . . Come here old girl,'' Charles proceeded to put his arm around Susan.
''How are you feeling? I did warn you that after the funeral it wouldn't have been easy to have done that. You're definitely one brave woman, far stronger than you give yourself credit for.''
Susan looked warn out & tired. She hadn't been sleeping properly & dreams haunted in her waking hours as much as they did in sleep. What would he know about strength she thought? It's normal for a man to be strong, yet it's a shock to see a woman capable of the same qualities. Susan, however, felt extremely weak at that precise moment in time. Charles proceeded to hail down a cab & they made their way to Susan's flat just outside of the hustle & bustle of the wild streets of Central London.
The cab journey was short affair & they both climbed out just in front of a row of Victorian town houses. Susan approached the front door of one of the building's that had not so long ago been converted into smaller apartments for budding university scholars. As she & her companion went to walk up the steps, Charles reminded her it might be worth checking if she had any post. Susan really wasn't herself; of course nobody would be after such terrible news. She went to check & not surprisingly, she found several letters. Some clearly letters, from friends, deepest condolences, there was something from America, most likely from her aunt & one in an extremely formal envelope that was clearly from her father's solicitor. She walked back up the stairs, as she hit the second flight; she came to her flat & put her key into the front door. As she opened the door, she turned to Charles,
''Thank you for coming to meet me, I needed a friendly face to be there when I got back, it was terribly mortifying. I don't know what I was thinking, going all that way. It was a foolish idea, it's not going to bring them back, nothing ever will.''
Charles brushed his finger across Susan's cheek, wiping away a tear that had began to fall,
''What are friends for? I wouldn't be any sort of gentleman, if I let a friend in need deal with something like this on their own. You should have let me come with you'' he smiled, warmly.
''Let's get inside & put the kettle on, are you hungry? I'll see what's in the cupboards & rustle something up.''
That night Susan fell into a deep sleep, exhausted & tremendously overcome with despair. Lucid dreams occupied Susan's mind. She dreamt of forests & mountains, her brother's & sister at their parent's home.
''Come on Su, you know you still remember? How could you forget? Being your usual spoilsport self,'' Peter had said in a jeering fashion.
''Oh please do stop, you have awfully big imaginations; they were simply games, Peter. We're adults now, you might try behaving like one,'' she had responded.
Then she was transported yet again. She stood in the long room facing the wardrobe. She walked toward it, searching for the handle, so she might open it. To her disappointment she could not open the door. Then a familiar voice startled Susan,
''You won't get into Narnia again by that route.''
Susan woke in a panic.
''Narnia . . . . That was just a game,'' she eagerly tried to dismiss her thoughts but the more she tried, the faster they came.
Then there came another voice, vaguely familiar, solemn & wise,
''Once a King or Queen in Narnia, always a King or Queen,'' she shivered & climbed out of bed.
It was early hours of the morning & still dark outside. The birds had already begun to sing. She had once loved the sound of Mr Robin red breast in the mornings. Now all she could think, was why an earth was that little bleeder singing at such an unfortunate time. Later on that morning she would have to make arrangements to go & visit her father's solicitor at his office. A journey Susan really wished she did not have to make & had been putting off. Her mind was sure of one thing though, which was her beloved family were gone, leaving her alone in the world to mourn a pain far greater than anything she had ever felt in her life.