DISCLAIMER TIME! I don't own Kingdom Hearts, which belongs to Disney and Square Enix! I also don't own Goofy, who belongs to Classic Disney.
This little one-shot is sort of based on the 'How To' cartoons from the classic Disney era... I mean come on, Kingdom Hearts has Goofy, so it has to be natural there has to be a 'How To' thing at one point, right? Well, anyway, enjoy!
ORANGE RATCHET PRESENTS...
A GOOFY FANFICTION
Based on the Goofy 'How To...' cartoons
"HOW TO USE MAGIC"
"The use of weapons. In some cases, use of weapons can be considered illegal in some states, but in such games like the role-playing game, weapons can be allowed to beat up the foe and win against the victor! Most role-playing games, or the RPG, have a common use besides beating other people... and that is the use of magic spells!"
Inside Disney Castle, Goofy was watching Donald and Sora (who happened to be visiting Disney Castle that week) practicing some spells of their own as Goofy sighed. "Gawrsh, I sure wish I can do magic like my friends..."
"And you can! Would you like to learn magic?"
Goofy, once again hearing the mysterious voice that came out of nowhere, smiled as he jumped up. "I sure do!"
"Well, then using magic should be as simple as one, two, three. But it won't be! Because for you to learn magic, you must begin with the basics."
"Huh?" Goofy cocked his head in confusion.
"Step 1... The Basics!"
"Sure, a simple staff would be good to damage foes... but to keep safe, why don't we start with just simple parlor tricks."
Goofy, now standing in a white background, smiled as he waited for something to come to him.
"To do that is fairly simple. He'll need... a magic hat, a magic wand, a magic deck of cards, a magic rabbit, a magic hankerchief, preferably already tied, a magic quarter, several magic quarters, magic balls, big and small, magic saw, magic box, magic glass, magic beans, magic kingdom, Magic: The Gathering, Magic Johnson... and finally, and most importantly..."
As the narrator was listing the stuff Goofy needed, each item started appearing in Goofy's body... but then it became a point where Goofy had to hold all those magic items in his hand, even the items (such as Magic: The Gathering, Cinderella's castle, and Magic Johnson, who just looked around in confusion) were too much for Goofy to handle.
"...the magic book."
A book then appeared at the top of the pile, causing Goofy to collapse with the items in hand as they crushed him. Under the pile of junk, Goofy sighed, "Am I magic yet?"
"Step 2... Doing the Tricks!"
"Now that we've got your items ready, it is time to teach you about the basics of a magic trick!"
Goofy, now dressed in a magician's outfit, came in on a stage as he bowed to an applauding audience, doing his trademark laugh.
"Our magician will now demonstrate some of his simple tricks to you."
Goofy smiled as he put down his hat and his magic wand. Goofy chuckled as he waved his wand over the hat and smiled. "Abry-cadabry! Ah-yuck!"
Goofy then put his hand inside the hat and fished out what seemed to be a rabbit. "Presto!"
The audience laughed as Goofy stared at his audience in confusion. Goofy paused as he looked at the item that he pulled out of his hat... which happened to be a carrot.
"Of course, sometimes, some tricks aren't easy... they just need a little... improvisation."
Goofy chuckled nervously as he tossed the carrot aside and tried the trick again. "Presto!"
Goofy then pulled out... a menu for a restaurant as the audience again laughed.
Goofy paused as he started digging around his hat, tossing out a very confused Riku, Maleficent's staff, a book that said, 'The Way to Beat Xehanort's Tricks' and a yellow beetle. Goofy paused. "Gawrsh, the rabbit must be here some place."
Goofy then started to jump inside the hat as the hat was now jumping around, a blue convertible, a Gunblade, a mace, thirty-eight copies of Superman Number One, a DVD set of all the Star Wars series, and Olaf from Frozen were seen being tossed out. All the while, a blue rabbit, in a magician's outfit, appeared on stage as he tapped his own wand on the hat, saying in a squeaky voice, "Abra-cadabra! Presto!"
The rabbit then put his hand in the hat...
"HEY!"
And pulled Goofy out of the hat via the rabbit's own kind as the bunny said, "Ta-dah!"
The audience then applauded as Goofy paused. "Gawrsh... this hat is empty."
"Step 3... The Advanced Tricks..."
Goofy once again was behind a white background as he was holding his wand.
"Now that we have learned all the basic tricks, it is time for you to learn how to do the difficult tricks... but to do that, you'll need a better wand."
The wand in Goofy's hand then changed to the training staff from Sora's dream before he left for his journey. Goofy examined it. "Sparkly!"
"The perfect caster must be able to know the perfect spells in order to beat a foe."
Goofy laughed as he waved his staff. "FIRE!"
His staff then caught fire as Goofy yelped, running around. "My staff is on fire, my staff is on fire! BLIZZARD!"
His staff then was encased in a block of ice as Goofy frowned. "Needs heat... fire."
His staff then started to catch fire again as Goofy yelped. "Thunder, Thunder!"
Rain clouds then appeared around Goofy as thunder rumbled... and lightning struck Goofy... twice... in the same exact place.
Goofy paused. "Uh... Cure?"
Two medicine packets appeared in Goofy's hand. Goofy then threw the medicine packets aside as he called out "Aerora!"
"You called?" Aurora, the blonde princess of Maleficent's world, asked as she suddenly appeared on the scene.
"Oh, uh, sorry, ma'am." Goofy said as Aurora frowned, walking offscreen. All of a sudden, Goofy now noticed he was in the middle of a traffic scene as a lot of cars were about to run him over. Goofy screamed as he held up his staff. "STOP, STOP!"
The cars then stopped before they could run Goofy over. Goofy sighed in relief... until the traffic light that was above Goofy turned green. The cars then proceeded to run over Goofy, one by one.
"Whoa!" Goofy groaned as he limped a little, a little afraid what his last spell would do. "Gravity..."
A television appeared as it was playing the movie 'Gravity'. Goofy smiled. "That one's not too bad."
As Goofy sat down to watch with his bowl of popcorn ready, he did not notice that he and the TV were floating.
"Now that you've learned the advanced spells, it is now time for..."
"The Final Step... Showing Off To Your Friends!"
Goofy smiled as he was now back watching Sora and Donald duking it out with their magic as he was now pulling his own staff for intended use.
"Now it is time to show off your magic skills to your friends! No more will you be feeling left out! No more will you be berated for your little skills!"
"Hey, fellas!" Goofy smiled. "I just learned how to do magic!"
Donald and Sora's eyes just widened as Sora whispered, "Let's get the heck out of here before Goofy burns down something..."
Donald nodded as he was about to look for a save point to take him to the gummi ship.
"Watch this! FIRAGA!" Goofy smiled as he held up his staff.
Unfortunately, Goofy's fire spell was so strong that it was sent into Sora's spiky hair and started burning. Sora screamed. "YEOWCH! GOOFY!"
"Don't worry, Sora, I'll put it out! BLIZZAGA!" Goofy started to use his magic.
"Don't do it, you big palooka!" Donald shouted.
"Huh?" Goofy turned, but his staff was now aimed at Donald as the spell went towards him, encasing Donald in a block of ice. "Whoops. Uh, I can fix it! THUNDAGA!"
A hurricane was then summoned as rain, thunder and lightning started to rip apart Disney Castle. From inside, Mickey was sighing as he yelled outside, "Goofy, are you using magic AGAIN? STOP DOING THAT! THIS IS THE FIFTH TIME IN A ROW YOU DID THIS!"
Goofy paused as he said, "Hmmm... maybe the battery's low or something..."
"And thus, the use of magic can be of good use... but it can be of disasterous consequence, if used incorrectly."
With that said, Disney Castle then fell right to the ground. Goofy looked at it in confusion as he said, "Gawrsh... looks like the castle fell apart again. Better get to work..."
"And that concludes our epic tale on how one uses magic... in the eh... correct way."
The End
An Orange-Ratchet Fanfiction
And this is this one-shot AKA shout out to classic Goofy How To cartoons out of the way! Personally, I think I enjoyed this one. If you liked it too, please leave a review! Anyway, thank you all for reading, have a great day!