Disclaimer: I don't own anything that is Harry Potter or anything that is Justin Timberlake.
A/N: This takes place during Harry's fifth year in Order of the Phoenix. Not everything is in canon, but who cares?
"Ginny, Ginny" performed by Harry Potter (to the tune of "Senorita" by Justin Timberlake)
It was after the match of Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw. Ginny Weasley and her boyfriend Michael Corner were having a big argument.
"You didn't have to show off!" Michael Corner yelled from his seat at the Ravenclaw table.
"I wasn't showing off! I wanted Gryffindor to win!" Ginny yelled back from her side at the Gryffindor table.
"You always want Gryffindor to win!" Michael Corner shouted back from his table, "What about Ravenclaw? What about me?"
"Of course I always want Gryffindor to win! I'm in Gryffindor!" Ginny screamed. Every student in Hogwarts was used to Ginny and Michael's bickering—or shouting over the heads of students in Hufflepuff.
"Why does it always have to be about you? Ginny, it's always about you!" Michael continued to shout which made a first year in Hufflepuff almost jump out of her seat.
"Aren't you one to talk?! You haven't even paid me back for that alligator-skin hat you made me buy for you at Hogsmeade last year!"
Susan Bones, a Hufflepuff, was fed up with the noise going on over her head during every meal. She got up and went over to Ron and Harry at the Gryffindor table.
"Harry, doesn't it bother you that Ginny's with someone else?" she whispered.
"Yeah, he doesn't deserve her!" Harry said.
"Haha! I knew you fancied Ginny!" Ron teased.
"Ron, I fancied her for a long time. Everyone knows that every since I gave her that Oompa Loompa for Valentine's Day. Why do you think I have 'Ginny' written all over my books?"
"Well," said Ron, his face getting red and picking up Harry's Potions textbook which had 'I love Ginny', 'Ginny + Harry = Hotbloods', and 'Ginny' in hearts scribbled all over it, "I thought they belonged to Colin Creevey."
"Really, especially when it says in big bold black letters, 'This belongs to the Italian Stallion'?" Harry remarked.
Ron glanced down at it and read the words. He also looked at the bottom right hand corner which said, "DIE, SNAPE! DIE!" in red ink.
Susan Bones rolled her eyes, "I have a plan you two. I'm sick of all the arguing coming from Ginny and Michael Corner. So here's what we'll do . . ." She kneeled down to whisper her plan.
"What?! I take a bath everyday thank you very much! Well, your hair smells like apples! I hate apples! Pineapples are better!" Michael continued to argue loudly back and forth with Ginny. There was already a hygiene rumor going around with him. Apparently, he would Scourify himself incase he was too lazy to bathe.
"Ooh!" said Cho Chang as she took out a pad of Post-it notes and wrote down, 'Remember to buy pineapple-scented shampoo and conditioner!'
"I'll never go tropical for you, Corner!" Ginny screamed.
"Okay, then I'll stop using soap!" He yelled back and then felt a tap on his shoulder.
"Corner, come with me," said Professor McGonagall and the two made their way over to Ginny.
"Since when did you discover soap?!" Ginny shouted just before McGonagall and Michael appeared in front of them.
"Weasley?" McGonagall summoned and three redheads looked up, "Er—I'll only be needing Ginny." Ginny stood up and followed her and Michael into the antechamber at the right corner of the Great Hall.
Snape and Umbridge were already in there. They both lectured Ginny and Michael about how they shouldn't be such horrible people and how snakes can be such awesome pets.
After the lecture, the two students and three professors came out of the room to see that the High Table where the teachers sat wasn't there anymore. Ron and Harry were at the front, setting up sound equipment.
Umbridge ran over to them, and tripped over a wire. She appeared unconscious, but no one noticed . . . or really cared for that matter.
"Merlin's beard! Dolores!" Snape exclaimed as he was the only one who seemed to care. Or did he? He looked up at the sky and whispered, "Thank you! Thank you so much!"
"What's the meaning of this?" McGonagall demanded.
"We're just going to sing a song, Profess!" said Ron.
"Oh, well, that's fine! I'll be in my office arranging my tartan hats and then rearranging them again," said McGonagall and she left the scene.
"I don't approve of this at all! 15 points from Gryffindor!" said Snape.
"Shut-up and let us do our thing, you old git!" yelled Harry.
"All right, but you don't have to be nasty about it!" Snape cried just before Harry and Ron were going to perform. Draco Malfoy ran up in front of them and held a last minute sign that said 'I HATE MUSIC!' but it was greatly ignored as Harry looked over to Ginny.
Ron began as he sat down behind a set of drums and began to play, and Harry stood behind a microphone.
Ron:
Witches and Wizards
It's a pleasure to introduce you to
He's a friend of mine.
Harry:
Yes, yes I am.
Ginny had no idea what was going on but she made her way to the front and pushed Draco out of the way. He fell down and cried. A few people followed Ginny, including Hermione and Cho Chang.
Ron:
And he goes by the name . . .
Harry
WowoOoOo!
All the way
from Number 4, Privet Drive
And he's got something special for y'all tonight
He's gonna sign a song for y'all
About this girl
"Me!" Cho Chang shrieked.
Ron:
No, not you.
"It's about you!" Hermione said to Ginny. Cho looked disappointed and walked away.
"What do I do?" asked Ginny.
"Dance!" said Neville who was already grooving to the beat. He made his way over to Luna Lovegood and they started snapping their fingers and bumping butts.
"Okay!" said Ginny and she started doing the 'meringue'.
Harry:
On that sunny day
Didn't know I'd come across
Such a beautiful girl
Walking down King's Cross
Seen those bright brown eyes
And those pouty pink lips
She deserves the snitch
But where the heck is it?
Mama listen
Ginny, Ginny, I feel for you
You deal with things that you don't have to
He's really stupid, I can tell by his Patronus Charm
But you could feel this real magic
If you just lay in my . . .
Hermione and Seamus Finnigan started doing the tango as Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil did the Macarena. Harry put the Sonorus spell on his voice so he didn't need the microphone anymore and he came over to Ginny and started dancing with her.
Harry:
Running fast in my mind
Girl, won't you slow it down?
If we carry on this way
This might leave Hogwarts Grounds
"Go' tha' straight!" said Hagrid, as he did the 'Running-Man' and the floor started shaking.
Harry:
How would you like to fly?
Is my Firebolt all right?
But you still deserve the Snitch
Haven't they found it?
Mama, listen
Ginny, Ginny, I feel for you
(feel for you)
You deal with things that you don't have to
(no, no)
He's really stupid, I can tell by his Patronus Charm
(just plain stupid, baby)
But you could feel this real magic
(feel it)
If you just lay in my . . .
Ah, ah, arms . . .
(won't you lay in my)
Ah, ah, arms . . .
(mama lay in my)
Ah, ah, arms . . .
(baby, won't you lay in my)
Ah, ah, arms . . .
When I look into your eyes
I see something that Galleons can't buy
And I know if you aren't too shy
I'll let you copy my Charms notes
Hermione frowned after that last verse, but she was having too much fun doing the 'Hustle' with Draco that she forgot about it two seconds later. Harry continued singing and dancing with Ginny in his arms.
Harry:
And no longer will you ever have to try
Ginny, Ginny, I feel for you
You deal with things that you don't have to
(deal with things that you don't have to)
He's really stupid, I can tell by his Patronus Charm
(no, no)
But you could feel this real magic
(feel it)
If you just lay in my . . .
Ah, ah, arms . . .
(whoa!)
Ah, ah, arms . . .
(my baby!)
Ah, ah, arms . . .
(oooh, yeah!)
Ah, ah, arms . . .
When I look into your eyes
I see something that Galleons can't buy
And I know if you aren't too shy
I'll let you copy my Charms notes
Millicent tore Ginny and Harry apart and she attempted to dance with him.
"Ah!" Harry screaned and shivered, and he ran back to his microphone and did the Quietus spell on his voice.
Harry:
Now, listen
I wanna try something right now
See, they don't do this anymore
Then everyone looked at the still unconscious Dolores Umbridge and started kicking her
I'm a sing something and I want the guys to sing with me
They go
'It feels like something heating up, can I leave with you?'
And then the ladies go
'I don't know what I'm thinking 'bout, really leaving with you.'
Guys sing . . .
Guys:
It feels like something heating up, can I leave with you?
Harry:
And ladies . . .
Ladies:
I don't know what I'm thinking 'bout, really leaving with you
Harry:
Feels good, don't it? Come on . . .
Guys:
It feels like something heating up, can I leave with you?
Harry:
Yeah, ladies . . .
Ladies:
I don't know what I'm thinking 'bout, really leaving with you
Harry:
Sing it one more time
Everyone from all the houses (even Slytherin) was on the floor dancing and singing along to the music. Trelawney came down to find out where all the racket was coming from, but she ended up doing the 'Fox Trot' with Dumbledore.
Harry:
Wizards . . .
Good night . . .
Witches . . .
Good morning . . .
The music ended and Ginny ran into Harry's arms. "I love you!"
"WHAH?" Michael Corner exclaimed.
"It's just not working out, Michael and you know that!" Ginny said to him.
"True, true," Michael said, and then he saw Cho strutting by him washing her hair under a small cloud hovering over her and pouring water on her head, "Mmm, pineapples! Hey, will you go out with me?"
"Um," Cho stopped to think, "Okay!"
Ron looked lonely and then went over to Hermione to talk to her, "So, what's up?"
Hermione turned around and gave him a big kiss.
Draco whipped out a guitar and sang "Uptown Girl" to anyone who would listen.
Harry:
And that's it!