Answering my own challenge on Stargate Atlantis Challenge:

So here's the challenge: Write a short 1 page fic (equivalent to one, 12 font, single spaced Microsoft word page) I give up on the 1 page thing so nevermind about 1 page pah! on something funny that involves Dr. McKay, Dr. Zelenka and a cute female anthropologist.

Include the lines: "My God, what is she wearing?"
"Well, you look better with your…."
"If I didn't know better I'd think you are naked..."

Title: Playing With Fire

Author: Lady Valmar

Genre: Humor

Spoilers: Season 2 - Duet

Summary: Radek gives Rodney a lesson in minding his manners. And Rodney kicks himself for snarking at the wrong time.

Warnings: None really maybeone or twowords but other than thatjust enjoy the snarking to ensue.

Disclaimer: Stargate Atlantis is not mine, sigh So anything not owned by S.G.A, is mine and therefore please ask me if you want to use my ideas etc..and do not infringe nor steal my original stuff.

Playing With Fire

By Lady Valmar

Song Inspiration: Jellyhead Crush by Crush

"No no no," screamed McKay, making the disgruntled Czech scientist glare up at him, and cross his arms.

He couldn't see why he was so upset surely hewasn't that oblivious to the woman. Besideswhat was so upsetting about the anthropologist Dr. Terra Hanson.

Shaking his head furiously and backing away, McKay exclaims, "I will absolutely not go out on date with that woman. Ever! Especially since, I have never met her before and especially because she is an anthropologist."

Perplexed Radek frowns and criticizes, "Well, if you put it that way, then I will just ask her out."

"What? You are not serious…"mouthed Rodney, his eyebrows practically connecting with his hairline. "You ask a woman out…"

"Despite what you may think McKay I do have my own avenues…" exclaimed Radek, taking a slight offense, but ...only slightly.

Rodney understood that this Dr. Hanson was rather taken with him, but that was still no excuse for Radek trying to rub his nose in other peoples business or personal life. Besides… Rodney was still on standby with Kate…

….if she'll ever talk to me again…thought Rodney absently.

"I highly doubt you have ever gone out with a woman," replies Rodney, skeptically.

Just when Radek was about to retort back, Rodney cuts in, "But," extending his right index finger up in the air, "If you have, it's probably somebody with no taste, who doesn't mind idiots like yourself."

The nerve…the absolute nerve…grumbled Radek. But then again this is Rodney…ah yes I know what the problem is…

"There's no need to be jealous, if you really want Dr. Hanson that bad I guess I will just have to kindlystep aside" snickers Radek.

Ha! Let's see him get around that one.

"What!…errr…uh…no no no…I already said I don't date psychologists and anthropologists. It's just dangerous and…what…I don't want that woman…even if she is…"growls Rodney, confused as to what to say next.

Pushing his glasses up, Radek grins, "hm…is what?"

Rodney falters in his tirade considering what to say to Zelenka. "Your..your…playing with fire Radek…ergh!"

"And how is that dangerous Rodney?" continuing to let his amusement show Radek retorts, "I find Dr. Hanson to be a well cultivated woman, who I just happen to know likes you and has mentioned to me on my an occasion, and I just thought you might want to know. But if you want to be rude about it then forget I even said anything…"

"Dangerous!" yipped Rodney, "Dangerous?…How?" "Well let's see there's the whole issue with comparing to primates and observation. I hate to be observed and then there's that your behavior thing…"babbled Rodney, not noticing his voice was attracting a lot of looks from office personnel and two passing marines. Who both grunt at Rodney with disgust and turn to one, nod and motion a crazy person symbol with their index finger.

"…And just who saidyou could go and mess around with my personal life issues…and I still happen to have a ninterest for Kate, I'll have you know…and WHAT!" growled Rodney, spit flying from his mouth. "What are you staring at…go back to whatever station thingies that you people do," shouts Rodney to the marines, who simply nod appreciatively, agreeing Dr. McKay is nuts and continue walking by.

"AND DID I SAY STOP WORKING!" screamed Rodney, astounded that everyone was staring at him and giving him all the same, you've-lost-it look.

"BACK TO WORK! NOW!" strains Rodney, as his voice starts to crack. Backs turn but snickering and several suggestive comments about lunacy murmur throughtout the lab.

Radek simply says nothing, but can't help finding the whole rant amusing.

Panting heavily, with his hand on his chest, andRodney wheezes to the floor, "Now as for Dr. Hanson…I'm sure she's nice but I have other more important things to do then to go out with a blood-sucking, primate-nut job like her…"

Radek sighs and turns to the shadow that had stepped next to him, "And this is what I meant by overeacts and having maniacal episodes…" explains Radek.

Straightening up suddenly Rodney begins, "I was about...whoa...uh...hi" Unconsciously smoothing his hair down and grinning studpidly, "uh...you...you...are..."

"Rather irritated for a blood-sucking, primate-nut job..."replies Dr. Hanson, with her hands on her hips. Turning to Radek she retorts,"Do I need to have my head examined...for even considering Dr. McKay..."

Radek curls his mouth up into a smile, "No...don't worry...he's just...frustrated..."Letting the satisfacation ofhaving both insulted, teased and embarrassedRodney sink in.While he wasn't one for takinga liking to what Sheppard would call it,poking the sleeping lion with a stick, he did feel good.

"I……uh…..uh..you must be Dr. Hanson…..right?"says Rodney, trying not to let his voice tremble. "I'm...uh...uh...RADEK!"squeals Rodeny, finally grapsing slightly what Radek had said.

"Indeed I can see that. And yesI am and you are so not worth my time…"drawls Dr. Hanson, letting her curly snow blond hair flip back over her shoulder. "I can see what you mean Radek…ah well…perhaps that young Lt. Col. I met the other day would be far more considerate…"said Dr. Hanson as she turns and leaves the lab, her black vinyl, leather skirt rustling.

Stuttering heavily, Rodney traipses after her, "I..uh..I…dah..ee…ah…" Stopping only after she turns briefly to wave a goodbye to Radek. Rodney finally reads her shirt. The shirt read, "While ice make me shiver, fire tempts me so. "...so..why...why me...of all the low down...of all...why...thinks Rodney, turning back after to face Radek, red-faced and shocked.

Radek stares at the fading back of Dr. Hanson, admiring her soft curves and that petite shirt that snuggly fit her form, letting a little pink show around the middle.

"So you still think she's a blood-sucking, primate nut job?" teases Radek, letting his agitation show.

"I…My God what is she wearing?" quizzes Rodney, "Is that vinyl leather? And that hair…My God the hair…"

Drooling slightly with a dazed look, "She's…hot…Why didn't you tell me?" squeals Rodney.

"Oh so…now that you see what she looks like, you decide you find her interesting…"

"Interesting…yes…very……interesting," voices Rodney. Glowering slightly, "Do you think she might still be interested in me….My god, a woman like that is actually interested in me…" breathes Rodney.

Radek simply stares down his nose at Rodney, "It's doubtful…and I didn't tell you because she asked me not to."

Shaking his head, "But…but…that's not fair…She looks so…hot…" simpers Rodney.

Radek huffs, and he wonders why he can't get a date? But that Kate…hm…I wonder what she sees in him. Drifting back to reality Radek tells Rodney, "Life isn't fair. You know you would have look better if he didn't have to freak out like manic."

Rodney shifts his feet and glares, "Yeah…well you look better with your mouth shut." Grumbling under his breath Rodney leans on the lab table.

"If I didn't know better I'd think you are naked with envy…"tempts a terse lab tech.

Glancing at the tech, "Yeah well I didn't ask your opinion. And naked with envy…what the hell is that suppose to mean?"

Radek simply claspes his head behind his back, chuckles slightly and walks back over to the laptop nearby.

Turning quickly Rodney perplexed exclaims, "What? What I'd say?"

I should have watched my mouth...why...why me...playing with fire...I should have listened...thought Rodney bitterly.

A/N: Okay How I'd do… And yeah I know I ignored the 1 page thing but eh what can I say, I like to write a lot. So still working on my writing skills here but I think it's okay…Hope you like…Thanks everybody, hope to receive reviews etc… Oh yeah and still working on "The Lone Shadow" so please be patient.