The Weakest Link: 100 Style

Join 12 of our favourite (and not-so-favourite) characters as they embark on a hilarious game show so effing great, there will be blood, sweat and jeers.

"And soooo, who wants to play The Weakest Link?!" screamed the announcer in an appropriately booming voice, as was a requirement in his job description. And the crowds around him in the neon lit arena cheered relentlessly. There was much hooting and gnashing of teeth as the contestants filed out excitedly and took their seats around the host.

The host for today's competition was none other than the famous Monty Green, who had shaved most of his hair off in favour of a badass camo-print bandana.

"Okay, okay!" Monty exclaimed, cutting a hand through the air and calling for silence in a totally dramatic fashion. "We have our contestants for today," he told the audience cryptically. "We've got 12 of them here, and they will be playing for 10000 Skypeople Credits! They all know each other, some have even slept together, and some have actually been risen from the dead-"

One of the contestants boo'd at the host. He had a banana in his right hand. It was held up in a threatening fashion.

Monty glanced at Finn Collins, but offered him no words, and continued, "But we'll see if their undying friendship will turn into rivalry tonight! Which one of these guys will be the STRONGEST LINK? Any of the 12 in our studio could win up to 10000 Skycreds by the end of the game. You know how it goes - they'll have to play as a team to build the bank balance, but 11 of them will be leaving with shit all in their pockets as each round we vote off the WEEEAKEEEEST LINK." Monty hit a button on his podium and ominous music blared in the background, much to the audience's excitement and the contestants' annoyance.

Raven Reyes threw a shoe at Monty. It missed and hit Lincoln Whatshislastname instead. Lincoln glared at Raven and threw the offending shoe right back at her, with very poor aim. It landed somewhere to John Murphy's right, where it was ignored for the rest of the evening.

Monty lifted a finger, eyes twinkling. "Now, let's meet the team that will be playing for the ka-ching. BRING ON THE IN-TRO-DUC-TIIIIONS!"

The camera panned over to the first contestant: a girl with dark, scary hair and an even darker and scarier face.

"Yeah, uh. Hi. I'm Octavia Blake. Uh." She looked at Monty helplessly as the camera zoomed in on her messy face. "What am I even supposed to be saying?" she growled lowly at the host.

"Random stuff about yourself," Monty hissed back, then gave her a belated thumbs up.

Octavia rolled her eyes and looked back at the camera. "I'm 17 years old and I was born on the Ark. My parents are dead and my brother is sometimes a dick." She gave Monty a huge smile as if to say, you happy now?

The camera moved on to the player on Octavia's right. The one with the banana.

"Name's Finn Collins. I'm already dead. My one true love stabbed me. It was pretty gnarly, in a tragic way. I once moonlighted as a ghost. That wasn't so cool. I couldn't actually open my mouth." Finn looked genuinely confused about this.

And the camera moved on. And on. And on.

"I'm Raven Reyes. Just kind of a chill person, y'know? I like fixing broken shit. Makes me feel important to the plot. Everyone's like, fix this Raven, and I'm like, yeah no problemo amigo. Unless you're Wick, then you can go fix it your damn self."

"Jasper Jordan. I don't like spears and I never will like spears. Also, I'm so totally gonna win this game."

"I'm Clarke Goddamn Griffin. My dad got floated, my mother thought she was all that, but I suppose Jaha was also a bit of a dumbass about it. Finn thinks he's all that too, killin' people and saying it was for me. And don't get me started on Lexa-"

"Whoa, Clarke, calm down!" Monty yelped, frantically motioning for the camera to cut to Bellamy. "NEXT."

Bellamy sighed. "Why am I even here?" the poor boy mumbled despairingly at his feet, then looked up. "Okay," he tried for a winsomely dashing smile, "I'm Bellamy Blake. I like to think I'm one of the smartest people out of this lot. My ancestors before the Ark were from the Land Down Under. I hope to one day star in my own action movie. I'm pretty good at breaking into fortified mountains in disguise. Yeah."

"M'name's Lincoln. I love Octavia forever. I can draw things, just take a good long look at my Moleskine. That is all you need to know about me."

"My name is Lexa of the Woods Clan. No one makes a better rabbit stew than I do. Watching anyone who isn't Clarke Griffin suffer is my hobby. I am a Sagittarius."

"I AM THELONIOUS JAHA. I SWEAR I AM NOT A CULT LEADER. CITY OF LIGHT."

"Eh. John Murphy. Or whatever." Murphy yawned widely. "Tried to kill everyone who tried to kill me. People had a problem with that for some reason. Sue me."

"Abigail Griffin, chancellor of the Ark That Was. And a very good one at that. Dumbass cult leader ain't got nothin' on me."

"Well, that leaves me. Marcus Kane. Kind of useless now. Everyone else has their part to play. I just sit in the sidelines and watch. And occasionally get blown up and have boulders dropped on me. Job gets harder every week." A long-suffering sigh.

"AAAAAAND INTRODUCTIONS ARE UP!" Monty roared. "We shall now begin the game. You guys know how to play, yeah?"

"Actually we don't have a fucking cl-"

"THAT'S GREAT," Monty cut Murphy off immediately and raised his hands in supplication. "LET'S BEGIN."

Wonderfully competitive music swirled through the arena. It was exceedingly loud and intense. Raven's other shoe flew an inch past Monty and hit Jaha square in the face.

The game was on.