This is the sequel to my other story 'Is that a lovebite'. It's recommended that you read that one first so you can get a better understanding of this one, but it's not necessary. This one's got a lot, lot more angst and very little humour - I just had to destroy the happiness. As some of you may know, I'm not a naturally angsty writer, so this may not be as good as previous fics I have written. We'll just have to wait and see. Obviously I don't live anywhere near New York, or even the USA, so you'll have to excuse me for my lack of knowledge of the New York area and the made-up addresses. Enjoy!!
Elliot was on his way home from a good day at work. The sun was shining, the roads were clear and his day had been very fruitful. He'd helped lock up two guys for breaking into an elderly man's home and assaulting him before leaving with his cash. The jury had convicted them both, and they'd not be seeing the streets of New York for a good while.
He pulled into the driveway of his new home, stepped out of the car and strode up to the front door, turning the handle and shouting, "Liv! Emmy! I'm home!"
There was no reply, so he grinned as he shut the door. They must be out in the garden, he thought.
As he wandered through his home, he couldn't help but feel a sense of pride. The house was modern and classy, but it wasn't just that. He had a beautiful wife, a gorgeous adopted daughter and a baby on the way. At that monent, his life could not have gotten any better.
Suddenly he saw a foot, and he asked with a chuckle, "This is a new game..." but as he rounded the corner, he froze in his tracks. On the tiled floor, surrounded by a pool of blood, lay his wife.
"Shit..." he sprung into action, kneeling down beside her. "Liv, it's Elliot, wake up."
She didn't move, and he was going out of his mind. His heart was racing at twice it's normal speed and his hands were trembling as much as they ever had. "Olivia! Come on! Don't play games with me now!!"
Her eyes flickered open and she asked croakily, "Ell?"
"Liv," he let out a small sigh of relief. She was conscious. That was a good sign. "Liv, what happened?"
"Emmy," she said almost incoherently. "He took her..."
"Who took her?" he asked, panicking even more now. In his shock, he'd not even thought about Emily.
Olivia tried to speak, but no words came out, and Elliot knew that she had to preserve her energy. "It's okay Liv, we'll find her. Just stay with me baby..."
He took out his cell and dialled frantically, "It's Detective Stabler. I need a bus, ASAP, 89 Arlington Drive. I have a pregnant woman in her 30's, just been attacked."
"Ell.." she moaned as he put his cell away. "Emmy!"
"I know, Liv," he nodded. "I'll find her, I'll bring our baby back, don't you worry. Just stay with me.."
Her eye-lids dropped, but he shook his head, very gently slapping her cheek. "No, come on sweetie, you need to keep your eyes open for me. Tell me about what you were doing all day."
When the ambulance arrived, Captain Don Cragen, Fin Tutuol and John Munch arrived with it.
"We heard your address on the radio, what's going on?" Cragen asked gruffly.
"I..." Elliot went to speak but Olivia was lifted up onto a stretcher and taken out, and he couldn't think straight. "I... came home after work, and I found Liv, and she was just lying there, right there... Emmy's missing."
"You think it's the same guy?" Munch asked.
"No, he's in Rikers, there's no way. Not his MO either," Elliot shook his head, running his hands over his face. Everything was falling apart. "We need to find her..."
"You're not doing anything Elliot," Cragen stated. "Go with Fin, give your statement for real. Munch stay here and talk with CSU, don't let anything go. I'll follow the bus..."
He ran out and jumped into his car, and Munch and Fin both looked at Elliot sympathetically.
"I'm gonna go," Munch gestured over to the CSU guys and then disappeared.
"It's gonna be fine, Elliot. Just fine, alright?" Fin laid a hand on Elliot's back as he guided him out to the car, on their way to the station.
Later, Elliot sat in his seat at his desk in the station, staring at what used to be Olivia's desk. It now belonged to his new partner, Frank Moss. It'd taken a while to get used to the new guy, but now everything was good. Lately he'd been managing to keep his job and his home-life separate, although Olivia knew what keeping things bottled up did to him and his relationships, so every night after Emily had been put to bed, she would sit with him and listen to whatever he had to say. It was great. He was doing better than he had ever done before, and everything had seemed so perfect. Somehow, now he looked back on it, it was all too good to be true.
Suddenly he heard his name being called, over and over again, and it took him a while but he eventually loooked up to be met with the welcome sight of Melinda before him. The coroner had always been a friendly face, and they'd become even closer since she had proved he didn't kill the drug-taking perp who had died in his care.
"How are you holding up?" she asked softly, walking over and laying a hand on his shoulder.
"Is she gonna be okay?" he asked, pausing before adding, "Then I can tell you."
"Why aren't you at the hospital?" Melinda frowned.
"Cragen told me not to. Said I should stay here," he shook his head. "I want to go, but I'm afraid..."
"I know, Elliot. We all are. None of us want to lose Olivia," she nodded. "But you should be there for her. Think how many times she's been there for you when you needed her."
"You're right," he nodded. He was in no mood to argue today. He was just going to do as he was told, so when Melinda tugged at his arm, he got up and followed her out of the station.
At the hospital, he wandered in, feeling like a little lost boy again. He remembered visiting his Grandmother at the hospital when he was a boy. He'd not known what a thing like death could do to a family, what it could do to a person. But he'd learned that day, and with the amount of death and suffering her saw everyday as a given with his job, he had gotten used to it. It didn't get to him so much now. Well... it hadn't until the suffering had gripped hold of his wife, their unborn baby and their adopted daughter who'd already gone through so much.
Outside Olivia's room, he stopped. It was as if there was a brick wall blocking the doorway. He tried to go in, but there was just something stopping him. He was afraid, that was for certain. He was afraid about what he was going to witness, about what the doctor in there was going to tell him. He just wanted to curl up in a little ball and pray that it had all been a dream.
Eventually he managed to make himself shuffle inside, and the doctor turned to see him. "Are you Mrs Stabler's husband?"
"Yeah," he nodded, finding his hand being shaking rather exuberantly considering the situation they were in.
"Hello. I'm Doctor Sanders. Your wife is in a stable condition, Mr Stabler," the doctor began.
"Detective..." somehow it didn't seem fitting for the occasion, it just didn't matter, but Elliot still found himself correcting the doctor.
"I'm sorry?" Dr Sanders frowned.
"It's Detective Stabler," Elliot stated, and the doctor nodded slowly, not quite understanding why it mattered.
"My apologies. As I was saying, your wife is stable, although it will be a critical next few hours, and indeed a critical day," he stated. "There is one thing. Your child is doing okay, but we think that there would be more of a chance of both surviving if we performed surgery to remove the baby from the womb and into an incubator."
Elliot's heart jumped into his mouth. Remove the child? But what if Olivia survived and the baby didn't? What would happen then? He'd have to live with the regret for the rest of his life, and he just knew that Olivia would hold him responsible for it. But then, what if the doctor was right? What if taking the baby away did increase the chances of the two surviving.
"Can I have a moment with my wife, please Doctor?" Elliot asked, just standing there staring at his Olivia, hooked up to lots of machines, with so many wires coming and going from her body he didn't know which was which.
Before he realised the movement, Dr Sanders had left with a promise to return in half an hour to collect Elliot's decision. He moved the Olivia's bedside, kneeling down on the floor. There was only one thing he could do in a situation like this. He closed his eyes, clasping his hands together. His voice was soft and steady.
"O Lord, holy Father, creator of the universe, author of its laws, you can bring the dead back to life, and heal those who are sick. We pray for our sick brother that he may feel your hand upon him, renewing his body and refreshing his soul. Show to him the affection in which you hold all your creatures."
He opened his eyes and looked up at his wife, lying there, completely out of it with all the drugs they had put her on.
"I'm going to make this right, Liv," he murmured. "As soon as you're better, I swear that I'll make this up to you. I'me never going to let you get hurt again. Emmy's coming home soon, too. Cragen and the guys are going to find whoever did this to you, and they're going to bring Emily home to us, and they're going to put the guy in bars. It's going to be okay."
He pulled a chair over, leaning his head down, sitting in silence. He didn't know what he should do. He just wanted everything to sort itself out, but he knew that this was one of life's conundrums. He really did believe that these things were sent to him to make him stronger, but every now and again he wished there was an easy way out, a button to press to give in, to have it solved for you. He wanted both of them to survive, his wife and his unborn child, but he didn't know how he was going to manage that. She was only 6 months gone. If the baby was removed from the womb, he or she would be 3 months premature. He needed something to show him what to do, a sign. Again, there was only one thing to do, and he fell back on what he knew best. Prayer.
"Steer the ship of my life, good Lord, to your quiet harbour, where I can be safe from the storms of sin and conflict. Show me the course I should take. Renew in me the gift of discernment, so that I can always see the right direction in which I should go. And give me the strength and the courage to choose the right course, even when the sea is rough and the waves are high, knowing that through enduring hardship and danger in your name we shall find comfort and peace."
He wiped his eyes, looking at Olivia's face. "You're so beautiful, Liv. What do I do? Do I save you and the baby, and risk losing the baby, or do I risk losing you both?"
Suddenly it became clear, through his own words. He knew what he should do, and he just hoped that his decision would end up being the right one.
As I said, this is a lot of angst, so in the next chapter there will be a small let-up for a moment or two! (But not much, mind... I did say I felt the need to destroy the happiness with this one...hee hee hee... I'm so evil..)
Despite the amount of angst here, I hope you enjoyed this one and even if you didn't, review to tell me what you thought of it and how I'm doing!! Thanking you!!