A/N: It almost feels a little unreal to say that it's been five years. Yet it has, and this idea has flickered in my mind now and then when I least expect it as if to say, "Hey, remember me. I'd like to be written sometime like yesterday." I can't say it'll be any good, and this story may be rougher than walking barefoot outside, but Gakuen Alice is a special series to me and I hope I can do these characters right. Please don't laugh too hard and thank you for reading!

Sidenote: The two previous chapters that were up in 2012 have been removed, but those scenes will be worked in eventually into the story. (I just couldn't stop crying in embarrassment reading them.)

-DH

"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough."
― Mae West

G.O.D

Chapter 1: Death Returns

Mikan Sakura could tell you that there were over 70 ways to kill a man with your bare hands. You might be inclined to believe her, if you didn't realize her credentials came from watching the six hour video game marathon her friends were still engaged in.

After tying the pink hair band around her left pigtail, Mikan stopped the loading battle round with the controller she had wrestled from beneath Hotaru's cushion. A quick glance at the overhead clock told her that it was five minutes past seven, and the dining hall had already started serving Alice Academy's hungry students.

Ignoring the glare on Koko and Hotaru's face was instinctive after a month of late night gaming sessions. Instead, Mikan wrapped her fingers around her best friend's coat and held it up as pacification.

When Hotaru's face didn't shift from her unimpressed stare, Mikan let the jacket drop onto cushion and said, "They're serving fresh crabs and shrimps today."

Another person might have missed the way Hotaru Imai's disillusionment cracked a bit under the promise of her favorite food, but Mikan had been best friends with Hotaru since third grade. Mikan had grown up in a small village that didn't attract many movers. It was the kind of place where most people only chose to stay because they didn't have the means to live anywhere else. Mikan had lived in the village for as long as she could remember, but her memory didn't extend far enough to recall her parents. Until she was fourteen years old, Mikan and her grandfather had lived together in a modest house. She had been content to play with her friends at school and visit festivals with her grandfather until her third grade homeroom teacher had announced a transfer student from the city.

Hotaru Imai was already Mikan was not – cold to smiles, adverse to personal contact, and indifferent to the ruckus in the classroom. The teachers had immediately fallen in love with Hotaru and her perfect grades and serious attitude. But after a few awkward attempts at conversation, beginning with a greeting and ending with Hotaru's silence and unblinking stare, Mikan had decided with absolute certainty that the pretty girl from the city had absolutely no interest in being her friend.

It had been seven years since their meeting and their unlikely friendship had carried steadily into high school. The feather-light touch of Hotaru's fingers against her skin interrupted Mikan's reminiscence and Hotaru pulled her jacket free of Mikan's loose grasp. Before Mikan could stand, Hotaru had removed her scarf and tossed it over Mikan's head.

"You're going to freeze to death in that thin sweater," Hotaru said.

Mikan looked down at her yellow zip-up even though she knew every loose string and worn patch of fabric by heart. It was pure luck that the raw coldness of December hadn't completely seeped in. Still, Mikan's battered-up, sleeve stained sweater was walking a fine line in winter.

"I'll be fine, the dining hall is close anyway," Mikan responded. No one in the room brought up the fact that Mikan couldn't afford to buy a new jacket even with the scholarship compensation Alice Academy provided for their students' families. Her grandfather may not have to bear the costs of tuition, but Mikan would never consider asking for more money needed to buy necessities like food. The importance of gratitude had been instilled in her since she was young, and Mikan loved her yellow sweater because it was a high school acceptance gift from Hotaru. She had refused to let Hotaru continue to buy her presents without reason in high school. It had become a strange matter of pride, but Mikan was determined to ignore the way her eye caught on clothes or the Howalon store in Central Town.

After all, she was happy. Although Mikan missed her grandfather terribly, she was sixteen and Tokyo was a promise of things her village could never give her. It was freedom, opportunities, and a chance for adventure. There was no time to dwell on material wants when Koko was trying to sneak behind the couch and steal the remote back.

Kokoroyomi frowned as Mikan lightly slapped his hand away. "Just one more game," he promised with pleading eyes.

"Your girlfriend is going to get angry," Hotaru reminded him. She had already turned the first lock on the door before she turned around to see Koko's horrified reaction.

"Oh my god I completely forgot about Anna," Koko cried as he ran around Mikan's room to pick up the scattered pieces of his clothes. Mikan stared at Koko who had a sock in one hand and a hoodie in the other, and decided against mentioning that Koko likely wouldn't have forgotten about promising to have dinner with Sumire. The last time she had brought up the on-and-off relationship Koko had with the green hair girl with the mean scowl, Hotaru had dismissed her concerns with a callous, "The only one who can live his life is him."

As Mikan walked down the hallway with her friends, her thoughts still lingered on Koko and Anna. Anna was a friend Mikan valued and loved with her sunny disposition and pretty hair. Sumire was unintentionally rude to Mikan on her best days, but it didn't take a genius like Hotaru to figure out that her compassion was in the subtle ways she treated Koko kindly alone – the way she hid her worry by fussing loudly over his bruises after a dodgeball game in gym. Mikan had no idea how Koko could never realize it.

The Alice Academy dinning hall was more than large enough to situate all 250 high school students. Mikan scanned her ID card and picked up a green tray while Hotaru and Koko headed toward the talent section. Although Alice Academy was a public high school, their facilities were split five-ways for students like Hotaru who arrived on recommendation for special talents. Back when every eight grader at home had a set future in mind – the village only had one general high school – Mikan alone was on the verge of constant panic attacks. By then, Hotaru had already become an integral part of Mikan's life. Staying behind while Hotaru left meant that she would never sing in another competition with Hotaru or see another one of Hotaru's inventions. That Friday she went home to her grandfather with a career goals form and he weathered through her panicked state before laying his hand on her shoulder to say, "Follow your heart. There's no point if you go for anyone but yourself."

So she had spent that weekend at home preparing for the consequences of her decision. Mikan had rarely been out of the village, and especially not for years at a time, and had absolutely no idea what she would pack or buy or eat or live. Hotaru's school might not offer dorms, and they might not even offer her place. But come Monday she was determined to try, not just to continue making memories with her friend but to create something new for herself.

While Mikan walked to the table Hotaru had settled herself in at, she could almost stretch her imagination and pretend that the tray in her hand felt like the application she found on her desk that Monday in eighth grade. If she tried hard enough, she could even see the green post-it attached on top of Alice Academy's logo with the words Only if you're sure written in Hotaru's handwriting. On the bottom of the form, she had already filled out the how did you find out about our school section with best friend.

A minute after Mikan had settled down with her pasta and chocolate cake, Koko and Anna had claimed the opposite chairs with their blue and red trays.

"Mikan, I made chocolate chip cookies earlier today and I had plenty extra so please try some," Anna said with a smile. She passed over cookies in a bag tied with a bow just as the whispers started in earnest.

Mikan smiled in turn as she took the cookies and said, "Thank you so much. I wish I could bake like you but everything I try making turns out burnt."

"I can't believe it… it can't be true."

"I just heard about it from Arako. She said she them with her own eyes."

It took a bit of effort not to respond to the way the whispers grated on her nerves. Since the day Mikan started high school, she had been the unwitting target of pointed stares and outright accusations that ranged from: "Isn't that the general student who's friendly with the talent students?" to "I bet she's full of herself because Hotaru from the Technical Ability class takes pity on her."

Mikan's adjustment period freshman year mainly involved tempering the shock of being exposed to unprovoked hostility from some of her fellow general students and the difficulty of her classes.

She hated math. She really did. Algebra had been the bane of her existence and kept her up most nights to double as Koko's unwilling late night gaming company. Between game breaks, Koko would stumble over and show her the steps to a problem. Occasionally, if Mikan was really lucky, Hotaru would stop by and consider her friend in all seriousness before generously offering, "I can teach you how to add two plus two."

Freshman year was an extraordinarily difficult, but it only reaffirmed Mikan's belief that a whole world was waiting for her and Alice Academy was the right first step. By the end of the year, the whispers had died down and she had made great friends in both the general and talented classes. But every now and then she would walk by people and their words would follow her the whole day.

"That's her, isn't it?"

"She thinks she's something special, but she's not. She's just like the rest of us waiting."

It didn't do to dwell on negative things though, so Mikan cleared her mind and focused on her warm pasta and the chocolate sweets waiting to be devoured. She had half a mind to sneak in a cookie first, and had to wrap her fingers around her fork to stop herself when she heard the girl at the table next to her say, "It's really true then? Natsume's returned."