A/N:Please google the word 'sociopath' and click on the first link'Profile of a Sociopath'. After reading this, can you think of any South Park character who might fit this description? Any? I'll give you a hint:he's fat, and wears a poof-ball hat.

Yes, I'm talking about Eric Cartman. I mean, is it really so surprising that Cartman could be mentally unstable? Throughout the now 13 seasons of the show, Cartman has done some pretty f*ed up Sh*t. The only reason we find all of these things he does funny is because they aren't happening to us. So, I decided to expand on this idea for a story. I've always thought that out of all the boys, Cartman was clearly the most gay, and had an unnatural fixation on Kyle. I mixed that idea in with several years of self-loathing and hatred, threw in Kyle and Stan's mutual unspoken love for each other, topped it off with years of honed manipulation, and tada! I came up with the plot for my story. Hope you enjoy.

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Breaking Kyle

Ch. 1- Some Days

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Some days, Cartman thought, could make a person want to go on a homicidal rampage. Today was one of them. The tubby boy bit back a huff of anger as he sat down at the lunch table next to his two old…whatever the fuck they were.

Kyle was helping Stan out with his math homework. "So, you just set both fractions to the same common denominator like so, and then add." Kyle instructed, while Eric eat. Cartman snorted; he knew Stan wasn't learning anything, from the way he was staring at Kyle's face. The redhead was oblivious to this fact however, as he took a bite from his sandwich.

"Stan, did you get what I did there?" Kyle asked around a mouthful of turkey. Instead of getting a reply, Stan wiped a crumb from the taller boy's mouth. Kyle blushed. "Stan?" He questioned, slightly flustered. Cartman rolled his eyes, unable to take any more of the sickening sight before him.

"I don't know why you even try tutoring the dumb hippie," Cartman bluntly interrupted. "He's too busy staring at Wendy's rack to listen to a fag like you." An outright lie, Cartman knew, but one that did the job. Eric noticed the minute sagging of the Jew's shoulders, and inwardly smirked.

"What the fuck crawled up your ass and died, Cartman?" Stan asked. "And I wasn't staring at Wendy's tits," Stan retorted, though his statement was directed just as much towards Kyle as Cartman. Eric watched in annoyance as a small, subtle smile returned to the Jew's face.

"Whatever dude, let's get back to work." Kyle returned,

Eric bit his lip in an effort not to wring the pretty little jock's neck. Despite keeping their newly budding feelings relatively discreet, Cartman knew without a doubt that Kyle and Stan were slowly falling in love and Cartman didn't like it. He did not like it. One. Bit.

About a two years ago, Eric had come to a rather surprising conclusion: Despite (or maybe because) of their constant bickering and fights, Cartman had a massive boner for the jew rat. It wasn't an easy realization. The first time Cartman figured out why he couldn't leave Kyle alone, he nearly blew chunks. He explained away his feelings as some twisted shit that all teens go through, and brushed it off as a phase. Yet as time passed and Kyle started dating, Cartman found himself strangely irked by the sluts who went after the boy.

Next thing he knew, Cartman was engineering circumstances that would lead to Kyle's breakup with whatever whore caught his interest. Social manipulation had always come easily to Eric, so thwarting Kyle's romantic endeavors was child's play.

After breaking up Kyle and Red for the second time a few months ago, Cartman had started to recognize that he wanted something more. If Cartman could decide who Kyle couldn't date, he should also decide who Kyle could date. Which would of course be him, Eric Cartman.

Cartman began orchestrating out his plans: Eric blackmailed their History teacher into having him and Kyle as partners for their term paper, he diverted Kyle's female fanbase by telling Bebe the gossip queen that Kyle was a flaming gay, and even joined the science club to spend more time around the fro-headed jew.

Indeed, Cartman had estimated that after only a couple of weeks of degrading Kyle's confidence and self-esteem, he'd be able to make the Jew his. If only Stan and Kyle hadn't suddenly become conscious of their boners for each other. Cartman knew how deeply in love they were, and how dangerous this new element was to his plans: if one of them confessed their love, Cartman's chances of fucking a voluntary jewrat were close to nil.

The two friends continued to work as Cartman's brain whirred with strategies. Suddenly, Eric was inordinately mad: the bastard fucking jew rat was his, damnit! Kyle would live by his rules, and die by his hand. After all, that was the reason Eric saved the boy years ago when he moved to California: only Eric could kill him and his jew family.

Cartman knew without a doubt that he owned Kyle. The redheaded faggot had no right to anything, let alone to lust after his best friend's cock. Cartman was generous enough to allow him that friend. 'Kyle will learn to lust for my cock,' Cartman thought. Eric licked his lips as he watched Kyle blithely toil over Stan's math homework. The thought alone aroused Cartman, as he carefully adjusted his pants.

Kenny ran over. "Guys, guys!"

Kyle looked up, irritated. "Kinda busy here, Kenny." At the blond boy's look, Kyle huffed. "What?"

"Craig and Clyde are fighting out in the parking lot, right now!" Kenny said out loud, catching the whole cafeteria's attention.

There was a small stampede as kids rushed towards the exit. Stan predictably jumped up with everyone else. Kyle, just as keen on seeing the fight, lagged behind as he started quickly stuffing his homework into his bag.

Finally, Eric thought, they were alone. Cartman smirked as he fell in step with the jew. "God, could you be any more of a fag, Kyle?" He casually stated as they walked out of the cafeteria.

Kyle gave him an odd look. "The fuck are you talking about, Cartman? Is all that blubber cutting off circulation to your brain, leaving you incapable of coherent thought?" Over the years, Kyle's disses had become more loquacious. Kyle sped up.

Cartman was completely unfazed, as he jogged to keep up with the redhead. "What I'm talking about is the way you eye Stan like he's a piece of man-candy. Gahd, it's disgusting." Kyle didn't lose his stride as he exited the building, but his body stiffened. Gotcha, Eric thought.

"I'm not gay, you fucking dumbass! Stop cheesing already." Kyle responded hotly. He looked around." They're at the east parking lot, you think?"

"I think you're in the closet, Faggy McFagster. Seeing you pant after Stan is beyond disgusting." Cartman egged on.

"Goddamnit, Cartman!" Kyle swung around, his hands balled into fists. Cartman knew Kyle was close to snapping now. Now, he knew, was the time to make the cutting blow.

Cartman continued talking, eyes gleaming. " And the funniest part about it is that the damn hippy is as far away from queer as humanly possible! He'd be so disgusted if he knew how you lusted after him. I wouldn't be surprised if he'd stop hanging out with you-"

Pain exploded across Eric's jaw as Kyle slugged him. "Ow! Sonofabitch!" Cartman staggered back, nursing his jaw.

"You're such a fucking ASSHOLE!" Kyle screamed at him. "I am not like that, you prick! Even if I was, Stan would never stop hanging out with me! We're best fucking friends!" By this time most of Kyle's anger was spent, and all that was left was a burning anxiety written across his face.

"Who are you trying to convince, me, or yourself?" Despite his throbbing jaw, Cartman managed a mean laugh. Kyle tensed up.

"Fuck you, you're not worth my time," He harshly bit out and flipped Eric the finger before jogging away. Eric watched him go, smiling to himself. He knew that his comments had hit their target, and that Kyle was now questioning the strength of his friendship with Stan.

Shattering self confidence was tricky work. In this case, it was especially tricky because Kyle was a confident guy. He'd had years of experience deflecting Cartman's barbs, and was used to being singled out as different because of his heritage, intelligence, and coloration. But Cartman knew he could only handle the mean comments because he had the support of his friends and family.

It was this base of trust and support that Eric had to strategically erode. Cartman doubted that the Jew had told anybody about his sexuality, so Kyle didn't know if he had his friends' and families' support on this issue. This made him weak, vulnerable. Perhaps breakable. Cartman was excited to find out.