The characters of Glee do not belong to me and this story is for entertainment purposes only.
Chapter One: Sobbing
He knew as soon as he walked in the door of his house that she was disappointed. His wife was at the kitchen counter chopping onions for dinner. Though her back was turned to him, he could tell that she was crying- but the tears weren't from the onions.
He laid his briefcase down on the kitchen chair and walked up behind his wife. He wrapped his arms around her waist and breathed in her scent. She smelled like perfume, strawberry lip gloss, and onions. She had never smelled more beautiful. He buried a kiss into her neck and whispered into her ear, "It's okay Rachel- we can keep trying."
She turned to face him and the tears pouring down her cheeks were enough to break his heart. "We've been waiting over a year. How can this have not happened for us? My arms ache- Finn- they just ache so much." She threw herself sobbing into his arms. He knew that the best course of action was to let her cry. So he reached up and turned off the stove and guided his wife onto the couch. He pulled her into his arms and just held her while she let all her pain and frustration.
Eventually her tears subsided and she just lay with her head on his shoulder exhausted from her emotional outburst. "You must be starving." She said and attempted to rise to go back into the kitchen.
"Dinner can wait. Are you okay? We can talk about this if you want to- or need to."
"I got my period today." She said matter-of-factly. "Though I guess you probably gathered that by my sobbing for hours on end tonight. I'm just so disappointed." She sighed heavily.
"Rach, you have every right to be disappointed. We have been trying for so long and we both want to have a baby. But I'm convinced that all this longing is just going to make us love our child even more. Our child is going to be amazing Rachel. He or she is going to have your gift-"
Rachel stroked his chest tenderly, "and your heart. I love you Finn." She leaned in for a kiss that was both passionate and tender.
"I love you too. Now let's make dinner- I'm starved!"
She laughed "And there's the Finn I'm used to." They ventured into the kitchen arm in arm.
The next day at his office Finn Hudson couldn't stop thinking about their plight. They both wanted a baby so much and it seemed cruel that they hadn't been able to have one. They had been married for more than five years and had been trying desperately to get pregnant for over a year now with no luck. They had gone to fertility specialists and both had gotten a clean bill of health- there was no reason why they couldn't have children. Nature was just not being cooperative. Every month his wife was disappointed again, and every month he would play the role of the optimist encouraging her not to give up and to keep on trying. He would come into work and let his mind- and his heart process all that they had been experiencing and relive the moments of the journey that had brought them to this day.
They had dated the last two years of High school and all four years of College. They had spent several years chasing each other but once they were caught; neither of them ever looked back. It was pretty obvious to everyone who saw them together that they were the absolute loves of each other lives. They were married right after college. It hadn't been a big affair- just him and Rachel, his Mom, her Dads, two college friends and a Rabbi. The wedding had taken place on the shores of Michigan at sunset along the beach. The waves crashed around them as they recited their vows and pledged their love for one another. It was simple, romantic, perfect.
"Do you Finn Hudson take this woman to be your wife? To have and to hold for better, for worse in sickness and in health until death do you part."
"I do."
"And do you Rachel Barbara Berry take this man to be your husband? To have and to hold for better or worse, in sickness and in health until death do you part."
"I do."
"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride." The kiss had been spectacular. And the honeymoon had been even better.
They honeymooned right there on the beach in Michigan. Sure, it wasn't as exotic as someplace like Jamaica or as a romantic as Hawaii. But it was the beach in the summertime. They spent their days laying out in the sun and their nights in each other's arms.
"Finn, what do you think our life will be like five years from now?"
"I think we will both be working in jobs that we love. We will have a house, with a dog and probably have a baby or two." Rachel had blushed at the last statement.
"How many kids do you think we'll have?"
"I don't know- two or three. I hated being an only child."
"Me too. I think two sounds perfect- my body doesn't like the thought of three very much." She grinned at him, "Though the practicing will be fantastic." He had chased her all the way back to their hotel room.
Settling into life together had been easier than Finn imagined. They just knew each other so well, and they were willing to make sacrifices for each other. Rachel had always wanted to be a star on Broadway, but she had been content to move to Chicago when Finn got a job offer there. She knew how important it was for him to be the provider for his family. So she worked the Chicago theatre circuit and gave private piano lessons in their home. She eventually opened a dance studio where she taught ballet classes. She had found plenty of ways to use her incredible gifts and still support her husband.
"Rachel, are you sure about this? It's been your drive to live in New York and sing on Broadway since you were four. I would hate to be the reason you give that up."
"Finn, my dream since high school was to be your wife. Having that dream come true means more to me than anything else. My life is wherever you are. Chicago is a great city; there are plenty of opportunities for me to be on the stage."
"Rachel Hudson, if it is possible I think I just fell more in love with you."
For their first anniversary he had flown them to New York City to see the revival of West Side Story. Rachel had cried through the entire performance and they spent the rest of their weekend in New York never leaving their hotel room. Finn vowed then that every anniversary would be that special. And they had been.
"That was such a beautiful play." Rachel rested her head on her husband's shoulder in the cab ride on the way back to their hotel. "Thank you so much for bringing me."
"Thank you so much for marrying me." He had kissed her so passionately that it was a good thing it was a short ride to the hotel.
Of course no marriage or relationship is perfect and theirs was no exception to that rule. In fact, their first fight after the wedding had been brutal. Finn had to stay late at the office and he missed one of Rachel's performances in a local play. He had never missed a single performance of hers in their entire relationship. She had been devastated. The house had been dark when he got home and her silence towards him was deafening. When he pleaded for her forgiveness she had verbally assaulted him in ways he had never expected to hear. Soon they had been yelling at each other at the top of their lungs.
"I can't believe you weren't there for me tonight!"
"Rachel, I'm sorry I had an important board meeting, we almost lost a really big client and I just spaced it."
"That is no excuse Finn! Do you know how painful it was for me to perform knowing that you weren't there? That no one in the audience was there to support me? That the man I love cares more about his paycheck then his wife?"
"Rachel, how can you say that? It's ridiculous! You know I love you and you will always be more important to me than my job!"
"Yeah, well what have you done to prove that to me lately? I mean I gave up New York City to move here with you. I gave up some of my biggest dreams! And this- THIS is how you thank me? I'm so hurt and disappointed that I can't even look at you right now." She had stormed off and slammed the door of the guest room.
Of course no fight lasts forever and they had made up the next morning. And their first make up session after their first fight had almost made the whole experience worth it- almost.
They were making out very heavily on the couch. "Are you sure want to call in sick today? After all, you almost lost that big client yesterday."
Finn stopped kissing her just long enough to say, "Hell yes. Where's the phone?" Once he had made the call to his boss, the phone stayed unplugged for the rest of the day.
Then there had been the night that they decided to start trying to have a baby. Finn had been sitting at the kitchen table going over some paperwork when Rachel had come in to the room, biting her lower lip like she always did when she was nervous. It was the cutest thing ever and it always made him want to kiss her senseless.
"I ran out of birth control pills."
"Okay, well I have some work to finish up tonight anyway; you can just get some more tomorrow." He didn't look up from the contract he was working on.
"Well what if I don't refill them?"
That had gotten his attention. He dropped his pen on the table and looked up at her. "Rachel what are you saying?"
"I'm saying that maybe I shouldn't refill my birth control pills. I want to have your baby. I think it's a good time." She hadn't expected to be met with silence. "Finn?"
His smile had said everything his words couldn't and the contract was forgotten for the night.
The ringing of the phone on his desk had brought him out of his daydreaming and back into his real world. The world where he couldn't get his wife pregnant and she spent more time crying in his arms than she did laughing anymore. He hated disappointing her. He had to figure out a way to take her mind off of things. He had read somewhere that sometimes the stress of trying to have a baby would make women unable to conceive. If he could just get her to loosen up a little, maybe it would finally happen for them.
But Rachel and the word relax didn't even really go in the same sentence. He would have to think of something. She had given up so many of her dreams for him; he wanted to give her at least one of hers. But how? How could he make sure that they would conceive a child this time? He sighed when he realized that he couldn't guarantee it. That it wasn't something he could plan out perfectly and have it for sure work.
A small smile came to his lips when he realized there was something he could do to help her relax. He could provide a distraction. He could make her forget her troubles and show her how much he treasured her. His heart was pounding in his chest thinking about how wonderful it could be.
He picked up the phone and started dialing. A couple of calls and everything could be arranged….
To Be Continued….