Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Nurarihyon no Mago

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Wakana: Of the rains and the yamabuki flowers

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There was a brief period when there were two particular things that Nura Wakana particularly disliked. Rain days and the yamabuki flowers.

It wasn't until she had married and spent days and months with him that she realized her husband, Nura Rihan, was never home during rainy days.

What was so strange or special about the rains? She had asked Rihan after times of not seeing him back at home, day or night.

Rihan turned to look at her. What could she mean?

Why he was never home during rainy days?

Ah…that….

And Wakana never forgot the look in his eye then. For that one fleeting moment, his golden eye had deepened with an emotion which she had yet to find a name for. It made her heart burn painfully for some unknown reasons and even though she received her answer she still felt uneasy. It couldn't be as simple as that could it? That the rains brought back memories he didn't like to remember anymore?

She never brought that up in front of him again. Instead, she went and asked the clan members around if they knew anything about it. How frustrating, now that she thought of it, when every time she asked they just shook their heads, saying they didn't know. True, most of them probably really didn't know but then for those such as Kubinashi and Kurotabou who were his close subordinates, she was sure they knew something. Yet, their lips were sealed so tightly about this matter that she felt like sewing their mouths for real many, many times.

And then there's the time when she brought a branch of yamabuki flower back home.

It was after she had visited her good friends, a couple, who happened to have yamabuki flowers in their unreasonably big garden. The flower was so beautiful she couldn't help herself but asked them if she could have a single branch. They offered her more but all she wanted was just one branch to give to her husband as a small souvenir when she got back.

She had expected him to not be home since it was raining that day but when she turned the corner and saw him sitting there, watching the rain, at the corridor in front of the empty room which used to belong to his mother, she was surprised, and very happy.

'Rihan-san!' she called out to him.

He turned to look at her. He was smiling his usual kind smile but it froze and his eye widened, seeing what was in her hand.

Inside, she felt quite startled. She had never seen him make that kind expression before. What was it that she saw in his eye that time? Surprise? Anger? Sadness?

…Pain?

That familiar burning came and gripped at her heart. She took a step back.

'Rihan…san?' she called out, her voice hesitant, the flower branch falling from her loosened grasp.

In an instant, he was there, standing in front of her, steadying her with one hand around her arm, the other catching the fallen flower.

'You're back,' said Rihan, smiling, looking calm and very much himself. 'Did you enjoy yourself?'

Was she imagining things? No. No, that wasn't her imagination. It was real and he…

He didn't want her to know.

'It…was great,' she forced out a cheerful smile. 'They are doing well and their new home is very nice. They have a beautiful garden, too. See, don't you think this yamabuki flower is just beautiful? It's Mrs. Hoshino's favorite and she takes care all of the flowers herself. This is the right season and I wanted to show you how pretty the flower is, so I asked her for a branch.'

'I see,' said Rihan, letting go of her arm. He glanced at the branch in his hand. 'Yes, this is a beautiful flower. Are you putting it in a vase?'

'It's for you, Rihan-san. A…souvenir.'

He was quiet for a moment. Then, he murmured. 'Thank you.'

'N-No. I mean…that is…' she looked down and, because she couldn't think of anything else to say, finished lamely, '…you're welcome.'

Silence fell between them. For the first time since knowing him, she felt distance. A great, great distance that kept them so far apart that it's almost like they were in two total different worlds. What was this? Did she just do something she shouldn't have done? It's just a flower, wasn't it? This flower… what was this flower to have caused such an effect on him? What did it mean to him?

His voice broke into her reverie and she couldn't suppress the small start in time.

'Go and take a bath, Wakana,' he had said. 'Let's have dinner together tonight.'

She looked up quickly at that. 'You mean you are not going anywhere?'

He cocked his brow at her. 'Should I be going somewhere?'

She felt her face growing hot with embarrassment. 'No! That is…I don't know. Usually you are not at home when it rains.'

'Is that so?' he put his haori over her shoulders. 'Go. I don't want you catching a cold when it's so close to our anniversary.'

She blinked. He remembered?

'Wakana?'

'I-I'm going!' she clutched at the haori and then smiled up happily at him. 'I won't be long! I will prepare your favorite dishes! Wait for me, Rihan-san!"

He smiled. 'Of course.'

She dashed off to take a bath then, the earlier worries completely forgotten as she thought of what to make for him. They hadn't had meals together lately and he's here on a rainy night such as this! She had to hurry. Otherwise something might happen and he would have to go out again.

It was a happy evening. The rain didn't stop but he was there eating the food she cooked and drinking sake, talking and listening to her talking. She didn't see the yamabuki branch nor did she remember to ask. But when she had woken up in the middle of the night and didn't see him beside her, the strange uneasiness came back and the thought of that flower branch just couldn't be put off of her mind.

Wakana got up and went to look for Rihan. When would this rain stop? The burning in her chest grew and it was starting to become rather difficult to breathe. Where could he be at this hour? Could it be…perhaps…he was…there?

Her husband was there, as she had guessed, outside in the garden, in front of the empty room they met earlier. That time when she found him and saw the expression on his face, she decided that she would now dislike the rain and the flower he was holding – cradling so very gently - in his hands.

So deep in his own thoughts that he didn't notice her standing at the corner, watching him.

Why? Why was he making such a face? What had given him such sadness? Rihan-san… Rihan-san…

Would there be a day that he would look at her with such tender a gaze? Would there come a day that he would look at things that remind him of her and feel his heart breaking with longing? Would he… find it in him to, one day, love her and her only and completely without a shadow of the past he wouldn't let her know now?

Rain continued to fall and Rihan just stood there, soaking in its cold drizzles with the yamabuki flowers held close to his heart. He was whispering something and she wondered whether he was telling it a song, a poem as lovers did. Vaguely, she heard a voice of reason reprimanding her for coming this far, doubting and hurting herself unnecessarily with wild assumptions. It was silenced, however, when she saw him brought the flowers up and gave one bloom a kiss.

The burning in her heart grew cold. Her falling tears echoed his which were washed away by the rain.

The gesture was infinitely gentle and she knew that gentleness very well. She had seen it once, long before they had gotten married, when they weren't so well acquainted. She was passing by and he was there, among the profusely blossoming sea of yamabuki flowers. The sight of him smiling wistfully, murmuring words that only the wind could hear to the flowers around him, left such an impression on her that she could never forget him since.

So this was what he didn't want to show her. This…was what she wasn't supposed to know.

Wakana turned and left him there to return to their room.

Curiosity killed the cat. She knew that each person had things they didn't want to share with others, be they husband and wife or not. She shouldn't want to know so much even though she realized from the beginning, but kept denying, what the look in his eye and his expression meant. Still, she was a woman and she couldn't help wishing, wanting to have his heart all for herself. She didn't want him to think of anyone other than herself – especially if it gave him such pain and sadness.

Pulling the blanket up and over her head, she cried quietly, feeling somewhat angry with herself for being so selfish. She loved him. She loved him very much and hated it even more to see him being that way. If she ever had the chance to meet this person one day she would tell her how much Rihan-san loved her. Whatever she did to make him sad, please, stop it. Rihan-san should be happy. She really wanted him to be happy and smiling….

That night, Wakana slept, dreaming of a sea of golden flowers rustling in the wind and someone… someone in the midst of their flying petals disappearing, fading, whispering words of wishes for her beloved to find happiness. She had tried calling and reaching for that person. But when she managed to get close, she was all gone, leaving behind a mere, faint memory of a gentle smile, tears, and words she never finished.

'If it's you…'

The next morning, Wakana woke to bright sunlight streaming through the window. Rihan was sitting by her side, holding her hand.

'…Rihan-san? What are you-"

'Morning, Wakana,' he said, smiling slightly. 'Don't get up just yet, though.'

'Well, Zen?' asked her father-in-law. Wait, why was he here in her room?

After giving his little son a smack for being too excited, the current head of the bird clan turned to answer him. 'It's as the Second said, Wakana-sama has conceived. My congratulations, Rihan-sama, Nurarihyon-sama!'

There were loud cheers outside. Apparently, there were many eavesdroppers.

Conceived? She's…pregnant?

'We're going to have a grand cerebration tonight!' Nurarihyon got to his feet and pulled Zen with him. 'Come, you will stay for a week here at least, won't you, boy?'

'But of course!' said the bird yokai, grinning widely.

They went out together. Rihan slid the door close after them and came to sit next to her again.

'Rihan-san, I…' she tried to get up but he stopped her, gently pushing her down.

'It's all right,' he said. 'There's nothing you need to worry about. Sleep a bit more. You didn't sleep very well last night, did you?'

'I…' Wakana remembered what happened and was reminded of the strange dream she had. 'I suppose so. I dreamt of something…. But…' she frowned, trying to recall that dream. 'Seems I don't remember anymore.'

'Then try dreaming of something nicer,' said Rihan with a low chuckle. 'Rest some more. You will need all the energy to greet guests and receive hundreds of congratulations tonight.'

'You're right,' she giggled, feeling her flat stomach with both hands. 'Rihan-san?'

'Hmm?'

Catching sight of a small, dewy petal clinging to his kimono, she felt that burn in her heart again and had to take a deep breath to calm the pain. That she knew he had someone in his heart beside her and he didn't let her know still hurt, but the news of her with his child and the fact that he was by her side now made her realize that her worries didn't matter because the present that she had with him and the future they would be having together were much more important than the past she couldn't change and wasn't to know. She might continue to dislike the rain for taking him away from her now and again, and hate that flower for putting such an expression on his face, but she, Nura Wakana, would always be here for him. She would be here and waiting, making sure her husband had a home and a family to welcome him when he returned.

And she would never let him be sad and frowning. She would make sure that he would always smile.

'Rihan-san,' Wakana reached out to take his hand. 'Are you…happy?'

Rihan looked at her a moment. Then, he smiled his usual kind smile and pressed her hand back gently. 'Of course, I am. Thank you, Wakana. For everything.'

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