TITLE: Remote Control
AUTHOR: Mara Greengrass
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL: fishfolk@ix.netcom.com. Feedback is better than chocolate.
PERMISSION TO ARCHIVE: Heliopolis, yes. Others, just let me know.
CATEGORY: Silly slash, J/D
RATINGS/WARNINGS: PG for innuendo
SUMMARY: "Daniel, aren't we supposed to be trying to escape?"
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I'm making absolutely no money from this.
NOTES: Starting this was entirely Medie's fault. Or maybe it was Taryn's fault. Then, my Jack and Daniel muses insisted I keep writing, and my husband aided and abetted the idea by giving me a plot twist. Thanks to Taryn for catching some very serious mistakes.
* * * * *
"Daniel, aren't we supposed to be trying to escape?"
"You said there was no way out of the room."
"Well, maybe I was wrong. Let's check again."
"You checked three times, Jack, and besides, the program I want to see is coming on."
"Oh, for crying out loud, not again. Wasn't this just on a few hours ago?"
"Well, yes, I suppose they've got a limited number of programs. No Showtime or Sci-Fi channel on Boros."
"And a damn good thing. Ever since they cancelled...hey, you're distracting me again."
"Distracting you from what?"
"Trying to escape from this jail cell."
"Jack, we've been in a lot of jail cells together and I don't remember a single one of them having a bed this comfortable or a television...type thing."
"We're locked in. Doesn't that make it a jail?"
"The bed's got feather pillows. And besides..."
"..."
"Yes, Jack?"
"Don't think you can distract me by doing...that. We're still duty-bound to try and escape. Carter and Teal'c will be worried about us."
"You're just sick of watching the cultural programs that are on."
"C'mon, this planet's only got three stations, and it doesn't look like one of 'em carries sports. We've been here over 48 hours, and I haven't found anything good on."
"We did find *something* good to do with our time, other than watch television..."
"..."
"I didn't think *that* was a waste of time, did you, Jack? It's been a long while since we've had some time alone together."
"Yeah, but it's time alone together while you make me watch these guys wave their hands. That doesn't count."
"There *was* the program with the fish."
"Watching *other* people fish doesn't count, either. Besides, that wasn't a fish, it was an...animal."
"An animal?"
"Not a fish. Fish don't have claws."
"Really? You're certain of this?"
"I'm absolutely sure that if it's got claws, it's not a fish."
"Look, Jack, if you've thought of a way out of here, fine, but if not, can I watch this show? It's kind of like Thai dancing, very stylized. The way they move tells the story."
"That's fascinating, but how is it helpful?"
"It's not, okay? I thought we were past that."
"Past what?"
"Where every piece of knowledge has to help us beat the Goa'uld."
"Not everything. Just anything that involves me watching people in funny costumes and masks."
"You know, Jack, you..."
"What?"
"That's odd."
"What? They're still waving their arms. Or whatever. Are they supposed to look like that? Never mind."
"Just watch."
"Why should I--"
"Watch, Jack."
"Okay, Daniel, so they seem to be showing someone who's got a snake in their brain, so what?"
"So, if you watch more closely, they're also showing someone getting the Goa'uld *out* of their brain."
"Pinky, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"Maybe, Brain, but I'm not sure Teal'c would be interested in feeding penguins."
"Maybe these folks have figured out how to remove the things without killing the host."
"It's possible, Jack. And if we can ever get out of here, maybe we can figure it out."
"Which brings me back to my point."
"Point? I--"
"Funny. Not that point. I meant, aren't we supposed to be trying to escape?"
"Probably. But until then, we'll just have to keep watching this program to see if there are any more clues."
"Sweet."
"Well, I suppose there's one other thing we could do while we're waiting."
"..."
--end--
AUTHOR: Mara Greengrass
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL: fishfolk@ix.netcom.com. Feedback is better than chocolate.
PERMISSION TO ARCHIVE: Heliopolis, yes. Others, just let me know.
CATEGORY: Silly slash, J/D
RATINGS/WARNINGS: PG for innuendo
SUMMARY: "Daniel, aren't we supposed to be trying to escape?"
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I'm making absolutely no money from this.
NOTES: Starting this was entirely Medie's fault. Or maybe it was Taryn's fault. Then, my Jack and Daniel muses insisted I keep writing, and my husband aided and abetted the idea by giving me a plot twist. Thanks to Taryn for catching some very serious mistakes.
* * * * *
"Daniel, aren't we supposed to be trying to escape?"
"You said there was no way out of the room."
"Well, maybe I was wrong. Let's check again."
"You checked three times, Jack, and besides, the program I want to see is coming on."
"Oh, for crying out loud, not again. Wasn't this just on a few hours ago?"
"Well, yes, I suppose they've got a limited number of programs. No Showtime or Sci-Fi channel on Boros."
"And a damn good thing. Ever since they cancelled...hey, you're distracting me again."
"Distracting you from what?"
"Trying to escape from this jail cell."
"Jack, we've been in a lot of jail cells together and I don't remember a single one of them having a bed this comfortable or a television...type thing."
"We're locked in. Doesn't that make it a jail?"
"The bed's got feather pillows. And besides..."
"..."
"Yes, Jack?"
"Don't think you can distract me by doing...that. We're still duty-bound to try and escape. Carter and Teal'c will be worried about us."
"You're just sick of watching the cultural programs that are on."
"C'mon, this planet's only got three stations, and it doesn't look like one of 'em carries sports. We've been here over 48 hours, and I haven't found anything good on."
"We did find *something* good to do with our time, other than watch television..."
"..."
"I didn't think *that* was a waste of time, did you, Jack? It's been a long while since we've had some time alone together."
"Yeah, but it's time alone together while you make me watch these guys wave their hands. That doesn't count."
"There *was* the program with the fish."
"Watching *other* people fish doesn't count, either. Besides, that wasn't a fish, it was an...animal."
"An animal?"
"Not a fish. Fish don't have claws."
"Really? You're certain of this?"
"I'm absolutely sure that if it's got claws, it's not a fish."
"Look, Jack, if you've thought of a way out of here, fine, but if not, can I watch this show? It's kind of like Thai dancing, very stylized. The way they move tells the story."
"That's fascinating, but how is it helpful?"
"It's not, okay? I thought we were past that."
"Past what?"
"Where every piece of knowledge has to help us beat the Goa'uld."
"Not everything. Just anything that involves me watching people in funny costumes and masks."
"You know, Jack, you..."
"What?"
"That's odd."
"What? They're still waving their arms. Or whatever. Are they supposed to look like that? Never mind."
"Just watch."
"Why should I--"
"Watch, Jack."
"Okay, Daniel, so they seem to be showing someone who's got a snake in their brain, so what?"
"So, if you watch more closely, they're also showing someone getting the Goa'uld *out* of their brain."
"Pinky, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"Maybe, Brain, but I'm not sure Teal'c would be interested in feeding penguins."
"Maybe these folks have figured out how to remove the things without killing the host."
"It's possible, Jack. And if we can ever get out of here, maybe we can figure it out."
"Which brings me back to my point."
"Point? I--"
"Funny. Not that point. I meant, aren't we supposed to be trying to escape?"
"Probably. But until then, we'll just have to keep watching this program to see if there are any more clues."
"Sweet."
"Well, I suppose there's one other thing we could do while we're waiting."
"..."
--end--