Disclaimer: I know! It's not fair that I still don't own Phil of the Future. It's really not my fault.

Let's Listen In On What Really Happened

Our Players and References

Alyson Michalka = Keely Teslow

Amy Bruckner = Pim Diffy

Brenda Song = Tia Chen

Carrie Michalka = Alyson's Mother

Craig Anton = Lloyd Diffy

Doug Tuber = Co-Creator

Evan Peters = Seth Wosmer

J.P. Manoux = Curtis, Neil Hackett

James Welden = Artist and Production Designer

Julie Sherman Wolfe = Writer

John Philpotts = Set Designer

Kelli McCarty = Miss Mayberry

Lise Simms = Barbara Diffy

Milla Uliviero = News Stand Girl

Ricky Ullman - Phil Diffy

Tim Maile = Co-Creator

Yeardley Smith = Mandy Teslow

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ACT I

Setting: Early on a Saturday morning at the Phil of the Future studio's script reading room.

We call you here this morning, because of a glitch, a hiccup, a speed bump regarding our third season.

What's that, Chiefs?

Amy's moving out of the area.

No problem. She can sleep in the break room.

She's fifteen. She can't sleep in the studio.

"Seth" does.

And that's WHY! I'm not sharing.

Selfish Seth.

Hey, write me back in a script and I'll stop living out back in the "time machine." It's not like my character moved like "Tia." Nobody offered me a series or movie deals. Hello? Am I a ghost? Can anybody even hear me? You know, one day I'm going to get other parts, I'll be taken seriously as an ac--

So, Amy CAN sleep in the studio. Somebody requisition a sleeping bag for Bruckner. Problem solved.

Problem. She's not sixteen yet. You know the rules. "No one under sixteen can sleep on the lot unless they're currently dating someone of director-status or above, like Milla U, newstand girl."

Oh, yeah. I forgot. Hmm. So, what if we drive her in early or schedule her shoot for the afternoon? It's not like the show's called "Pim of the Future;" she's not in most scenes.

She's in enough and -- yes?

Hey, it's just that I put a lot of work into updating the time machine.

We all know. (You've told us over and over again.) What about it?

Well, you both told me to build a new time machine, so I did.

We know, John. What's your point?

If there's not going to be another season, can I have it to set up in my garage? It doesn't seem fair to waste it in just one episode, does it? I really like what I came up with.

Who said there's not going to be a season three? We just have one little problem to work out, John. That why I called this brainstorming session to -- yes?

I think the billing in the opening credits should be alphabetical.

By last name?

No! No! No! By first name.

(Who invited Tina Louise's mother here?) Isn't that just another way of saying --

I think Aly should get top billing.

(Not again! We really need to lock that door.)

(We did! I think she found one of Amy's tunnels.)

(I thought she -- never mind.) Noted. Moving on. Now about Amy --

Since this show is really about Keely and her adventures with this family from the future and Aly is in every episode and almost every scene ... I think she should be in more scenes.

The show is called "Phil" of the Future. It's about a boy named "Phil" and his family, on vaca-- do I have to sing the entire theme song every meeting? It's not called Keely and her amazing mother AND BEFORE YOU SUGGEST IT AGAIN -- no. you can not play Keely's older sister, Kelly.

It was just a suggestion I made one time.

(One time too many.)

I heard that. Didn't my cheerleading suggestion make for a great episode? I know it's one of my favorites.

It did add a dimension to my character -- and to Aly's, as well.

Getting back to Amy -- yes?

What if we just shot Amy from the neck up?

Huh?

You know, like we were going to do with my character in beginning. We could just set up a blue screen in a closet in her house with a little camera. Amy could read Pim's lines and send the video to the studio via the internet.

That ... could work. This could add a new gimick to our third season as power mad Pim is now "disarmed." Her brother now leaves her head in his locker at school, plays basketball with Curtis in the Diffys' driveway with Pim's head as the ball. Pim tries to bite, lands in the bushes as Hackett --

Vice-Principal Hackett

(SIGH) Vice-Principal Hackett ... where was I? Oh, yeah, Vice --- their neighbor is trimming his hedge and -- now what?

This is a Disney Show, People. How many times do I have to tell you this isn't Nickelodeon? We can't have that kind of innuendo on our channel.

What kind of -- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? He's trimming his hedge.

Exactly.

It's the same hedge that Ricky and Keely trimmed when J.P. moved next door. "Forbidden hedge trimming" as I recall.

Exactly. Just because you snuck an innuendo past me once, don't think you can do it again. The "D" in Disney doesn't stand for "dumb."

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End Act I
Intermission