Yeah I signed up at last! I have been reviewing stories for a year here now and at last...it's good to be here! I just finished reading the City of Bones so this is my first fanfiction, ever! Please be lenient and good and please review!

Disclaimer: Oh yes! I don't own Mortal Instruments. Wish I did though.

I like his golden eyes looking at me. In fact I love it. Those beautiful golden eyes...Jace. I wish he knew. I hope he doesn't.

It's not good to be what I am in my society and everyone will disown me. But can I really help it?

His beautiful face makes me want to gaze. Gaze and gaze till I can gaze no more and still continue to gaze. His beautiful long eyelashes blink at me and his lips curl into a smile when he sees me. Oh, that smile. His golden hair appear to me as if the golden sunlight is falling on the clearest of water. His laughter...my heart yearns for it.

But I cannot tell him all of this. He may not even want to be my friend.

And I hate him when he is taking all the risks. He's so stubborn, so ruthless, so indignant, so sarcastic...so sweet, so charming, so caring, so nice, so amazing... I can't even think badly about him for a few seconds!

I am jealous of Clary. Jace surely likes her company. Sometimes I wonder why I am not Clary. Then maybe Jace would like me. He thinks of me as his brother and friend and some people might say that being something is better than being nothing. You might be right but when I see Jace... my heart beat speeds up, I become nervous, angry if he is hurt. Is something wrong with me? Why is it that when he bleeds I want to cry? Why is it that when he is sad I become depressed? There must be some answer to it.

But I can't tell him. I will lose him. I can't lose him! No, we are good as friends. At least then he will be there with me. At least I cann see him, feel him, talk to him, see his golden eyes, his beautiful smile...beautiful smile.

I can't tell you what I feel, Jace, but maybe one day you will know.

One day you will realize.

Yeeha! First fanfic ever for my dear Alec! Please read and review!