God Save the JONAI: A Macy Diary
(also known as The Very Secret, Extremely Private, Highly Insane Diary of Macy "Hallway Hazard" Misa.)

a/n: So I've come to realize that I've never really written a fanfiction entirely for the lulz (with a bit of romance attached). Since the best comedy I've encountered lately comes in the form of diaries, let's see the inside of Macy Misa's head. :) I'm sure you'll find that it's a bit different than you expected.

If this seems to imitate LaPaige's Pointless Ramblings, DramaticStarlet's Memoirs of a Teenage Feminist, ink-stained-frenzy's Manly-Man Journal of Joe Lucas, and Hey-Hayley's Diary of a Lucas… that's because it does. These girls are queens of comedy and it would do all of us well to learn from their example.

Information You Should Have Before Reading:

1. I gave Macy my own birthday (June 2nd) in this fanfiction. There's a reason, which you will probably figure out soon enough.
2. Macy is, at the start of this story, fifteen years old. I've decided that I want to s-t-r-e-t-c-h canon events to fit over a longer time period.
3. This story will, in all likelihood, have a sequel.

Chapter One: In which Macy continues from the previous diary.

Entry 1: 5/23/08
2:34 pm. My house, living room.

It's been almost an entire year since Stella gave me my first journal. I really can't believe that it's been three hundred and fifty-nine days since she left for her 'summer job' and handed me the diary and Clarence the Armadillo. Three hundred and fifty-nine days. Three thousand, six hundred and seventeen hours. Five hundred and sixteen thousand and nine hundred and sixty minutes. Thirty-one million, seventeen thousand and six hundred seconds. That's… well, that's a lot of time. (And yes, I got out my calculator to figure all that out. So sue me.)

Also, I counted and I apparently used the word JONAS one thousand, four hundred and eighty-three times. That's approximately 4.13 times a day. Four times every day and I didn't even do entries at least one day out of seven. Maybe Stella was right and I am a little too obsessive.

…nah.

(xD Okay, that's a big, fat lie. I'm obsessive and I know it.)

So, let's catch everyone up on the things that happened over the past year, just in case the old me is senile and lost the first diary or can't remember what she just read or is just too lazy to read the whole story in sequence.

Stella gave me the diary because, as she claimed, I had a lot of 'pent-up emotions to get out.' Which I totally didn't get then but I do now. Well, not really. I mean, I'm pretty expressive and I don't exactly bottle up my feelings. Except the weird ones, but who doesn't repress those? Unless I'm the only person in the world who has random mood swings and suspects that the Burger King puts some kind of special drugs in their milkshakes that make them irresistibly delicious so that they can take over the better part of America and turn the country into a monarchy that worships the All-Mighty Flame-Broiled Patty God. But that can't just be me, right?

Anyway. JONAS kick-started their summer tour last year in New Jersey, which meant I got to see a live show for the very first time and it was just as amazing as I'd always imagined. Guh, I'm getting all emotional just thinking about it. I had so much fun and I almost got to meet the band. Almost because I fainted before I could get my program signed. But I still had a blast!

Mom finally let me travel to see some of the shows in Pennsylvania, Texas and Boston. Just the ones in our immediate area, you know. :) I managed to get to the table at the meet and greet for my poster in Wichita, Kansas and I even said 'hi' to Kevin!

When Stella got back from her summer job, she revealed her secret: JONAS was the three best friends she was always talking/complaining/bragging about and they were coming to HMA. To say that I had a hysterical fit—well, okay, so I really just screamed, passed out, and then hyperventilated a little when I woke up. But I managed to stay conscious when I met them. Well, until Kevin mentioned that I came to a concert and said 'hi' to him. Yeah, then I fainted. And apparently it was one of the longer ones, because I was in the nurse's office with the four of them crowded around me when I came to.

Aside from the diary and meeting my favorite band of all time, the year was pretty tame. I mean, I got used to being around the boys pretty quickly (a fact that I am extremely proud of). They're really just normal, attractive guys with magic fingers and incredible voices who also happen to be rock stars and have millions of screaming fans (like me! xD).

Other interesting points… well, the boys got trapped in my mom's store. You know, the whole screaming fans thing. I don't really remember too much about it because—you guessed it!—I passed out again.

Oh, and JONAS and Stella finally told me that I sound like an injured manatee when I sing. I'm not going to get into my rant about Kevin's dishonesty and how I've secretly been testing his integrity ever since (all passes—so far!), because that's documented in the first journal and I'm sure the older me doesn't want to read the same thing twice.

Um… oh, I also figured out that I'm in love with Nick Lucas.

Yeah, I

(♥)

Entry 2: 5/23/08
7:29 pm. My house, my bedroom.

Sorry, Stella caught me writing in my new journal and dragged me off for a shopping trip for the boys. She seems to think that I'm spending too much time writing in this thing. Maybe she regrets the pent-up emotions comment now, huh? :D Muahaha.

Anyways, I don't understand why she feels the need to bring me along on these trips. She doesn't need or care about my opinion (outwardly, at least) and she's got perfect taste all on her own. But it was apparently for school clothes because all three boys had gotten too tall for their freaking Chinos. Whatever, Stells. That's why you bought that green silk tie for Kevin's charity event and picked up Joe's custom-ordered Ray Bans. I mean, come up with a better excuse at the least. School clothes? There's two weeks of school left before we're out for the summer! (To be fair, she did end up buying about nine pairs of khaki Chinos.)

So, in continuing with the entry from the previous journal (for that was the reason for starting the new one), I'm worried about this summer. I've gotten so used to having the JONAS boys around that I don't know how I'm going to get through the long months without them. And I'm not going to have Stella around to comfort me, either. So I'm stuck with my posters and Clarence the Armadillo for company. :(

Oh, and this diary, of course. But Clarence and my posters have faces and eyes and stuff. And you, my faithful friend, do not.

Unless I drew a face on you!

:D Hold on!

Kay, so I drew a face on the cover of this diary. My brother says it's creepy with a capital 'k,' but he doesn't even live here (he's visiting now because he can't be here for my birthday, which is happening in TEN DAYS! :DD Excitement!), so what does he know? :P I think it's a cute face.

Now I've got three things to keep me company: my posters, Clarence, and you, diary. Maybe summer won't be so bad. I could join a team… or write a book… or go skinny dipping with Paul, the kid who still shoots peas out of his nose. He's invited me to go with him several times. Okay, not me specifically. But he does yell, "Who wants to go skinny dipping with me tonight?!" randomly in the hallway.

…who am I kidding?! Seven weeks without JONAS! Seven weeks without Nick, Kevin, Joe, or Stella! Seven weeks without Nick.

Guh. It's going to be agonizing. D:

a/n2: Well, there it is. The elusive Macy Diary. :) Nearly done writing it, half-way done typing it up, it's been a looong journey since Christmas break. I hope you enjoy it as much as I've enjoyed writing it.

Oh, and it only gets funnier from here. :D

Ta!
Bethie.